I have all these emotions and I don't know where to place them or attach them to.
Who: Carol and Jess What: Dates and Some Emotions When: A few nights ago Where: A show! Status: complete Rating: Pg
Dating someone was hard enough. Dating them when you only had half your memories of them (and it was the half where you weren’t an item) was harder. But Carol could honestly say that she was attracted, and even in her dreams she had buried those feelings pretty deeply. It made sense to her that they’d moved beyond it here.
So she hoped that dating would help them (she felt constantly terrible, but at least she knew her motivation now).
She drove up to where Jess was staying, wearing a black dress with gold trim, that hugged her curves. She felt girly, and didn’t entirely like it.
Jess could definitely agree with all of that. Dating was hard in this situation all together for both of them. She didn’t know what to do except just go through it. And hopefully a date would help in either direction. Maybe it would go great, and everything would start to fall into place. Then again maybe it would go horribly and that would be that. She just knew that she was nervous.
But she was really hoping that this would help too. When Carol came to the door, she told Marian that she would be back later and opened the door. “Wow.. you look amazing.”
“Not as amazing as you,” Carol said, looking her over and feeling something like butterflies take flight in her stomach. The feeling was oddly familiar, and she took comfort in that. “REady to go?”
Jess grinned brightly at her. “Why thank you.” She was wearing a dress too, which was maybe just slightly less odd than Carol in one. But she thought it was for the best. “Definitely.” She grabbed her stuff and headed out.
“I thought you’d be happy if I didn’t make you fly around in a dress,” Carol said, her tone light as she unlocked the car to let them in. “Not that anyone would mind if they looked up.”
She laughed and shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t mind. But yeah I guess it’s probably safe that way.” Jess slid into the car and buckled up. “Where are we off to again?”
“Fancy dinner, and I booked us a show. It seemed like it might be interesting.” Maybe they could get comfortable in each other’s presence again. She certainly hoped so.
“A show? Nice. I haven’t done that in ages.” Not since.. well probably the last time they did that. Jess hoped that they could too. The more she was around her, the more it felt like normal. “And I’m always starving.”
“That I remember,” Carol intoned, putting the car into gear and taking off. She flashed a grin at Jess and felt more herself.
“Oh well that’s a good thing to remember. Always feed me.” Jess laughed and patted her hand. “Not that you ever turned down a meal either, miss.”
“I’ll have you know I have the figure of a supermodel,” Carol said, indignately. She glanced at Jess out of the corner of her eyes. “And so do you.”
“A supermodel that could kick your ass. I don’t think models have muscles like you do,” Jess pointed out with a smile. “Why thanks. Though I’m so not tall enough to be a model.”
Carol flexed and looked at her bicep. Jess had a point. She’d bulked out quite a bit and didn’t have this kind of muscle in some of her pictures from a couple of years ago. Maybe it came with the powers? Or just using the. “Yeah, sorry short-stack. They don’t make heels big enough.”
Jess laughed and then whistled loudly, even though they were in the car. “Very sexy. I’d rather look at a girl with muscles any day.” Besides being a model meant not eating. Who wanted that? “I’m good with being short. I can be sneaky.”
“You are the sneakiest women I know,” Carol said truthfully. “We have to watch our backs around you or you’ll bite our ankles.” Grinning, she pulled up to the theatre and got out of the car. It was one of those cirque du soliel type acts, so it would probably be good!
“That’s the most flattering spider joke I’ve ever gotten,” she said with a smirk. “Though usually I bite wherever you let me.” Jess winked at her and got out of the car. This always looked like fun. Things she could probably do better than the people in there, but she wasn’t going to say that. She offered Carol her arm. “Shall we?”
Carol’s face went the color of her costume as she took Jess’s arm. She wasn’t sure which of them was supposed to lead, so she just let Jess take the lead for once. She’d agree that Jess could do it better, she’d seen the woman do a lot of acrobatics in the dreams. Oh. Her mind went there, and she told her mind to shove it. “Okay.”
Jess couldn’t do much but look a bit smug and let Carol take her arm before leading them inside. It wasn’t so much of a lead though but just them both going in together. The only reason she had that much acrobatics was because of the whole spider crawl thing. “Do you have the tickets?” she asked as they got to the front of the line to give them to the lady.
“Yeah.” She fished them out of her coat pocket and handed them over. “Think we can get a drink? I could use the loosening up.” Might help with her nerves, and with the pattering in her chest. Even in her dreams, which were the only memories she had, she didn’t date much.
With a nod of her head, she lead Carol over to the bar and ordered a drink for herself and then let Carol order her own. She didn’t want to be one of those people who ordered for their people. They should make their own minds up. She paid for the drinks and grabbed her own. “This place is swanky.”
“Maybe a little too swanky for dames like us,” Carol said, sipping at her drink and lightly putting her arm around Jess’s waist. She didn’t even notice that she was doing it.
“I think you’re right,” Jess agreed. This was nice. It felt really normal. Like the old them. She didn’t even realize that it had happened. It was just so natural to have Carol’s arm around her. “I’m more of a cheeseburger and fries kind of gal.”
"How about after the show we drop in at a cafe," Carol said, grinning. "In these dresses. We'd be completely out of place and that would be kind of funny."
“Perfect idea. I’ll never get restaurants that claim they’re amazing but barely give you any food.” It was a travesty. Clearly. Jess smiled as they got their drinks and headed in to sit down in their seats.
"It's a waste." Carol took the seat closer to the aisle. Less collateral damage if she suddenly had to take off. Which was her thinking like an Avenger. It was a hazard of the profession! She rested her hand on Jess's leg and glanced at her while waiting for the show to start. "What have you been up to?"
Since Carol was the captain, Jess always knew that she would look around and figure out the fastest and best way to get out of a place. Always know where the exits are. That was like a motto. She was casing the place too, just making sure people looked legit. Not up to anything. “Oh I’ve been helping Marian with some things around the house. And her boyfriend came over for dinner. He’s a nice guy.”
"I'm glad. I can always send him into orbit if he's not nice," Carol suggested, a little too cheerful at the idea. She didn't like bad guy boyfriends, especially friend of friends.
“I’ll let Marian know that she can rely on you if that happens. I think she’s okay though. In her dreams, she’s kind of a badass on her own. Though like it’s all medieval stuff. It sounds kind of neat.” Not that Spider-Woman had a case of nostalgia.
"You miss the adventure don't you," Carol replied. "Maybe you should put your spandex on and go out and beat on bad guys?" And she didn't even mean bounties. Carol thought that Jess was itching for some adventure.
“Yeah of course I miss it. It’s not.. quite the same beating up guys who have jumped bail.” Though it wasn’t like there were a bunch of super villains running around. Not quite like in the dreams. “Maybe I should. I could really stand to beat someone up.”
Carol nodded her head. She'd see if she could find some places with some gangs they could rock into. Carol slipped an arm around Jess as the light dimmed. It was another subconscious gesture and she flushed when she realized she was doing that.
She leaned up against Carol a bit as her arm was around her. Jess was trying really hard not to get her hopes up, but it was hard not to. She smiled and kissed the top of her head as the play started. She tried to pay attention to it, but it was more on the woman next to her.
The pilot was also distracted. Jess had some kind of scent to her that Carol couldn't place. It was comforting and she just knew the scent would have brought back memories. It was a depressing though, and she wanted to make new memories with it. Part way through the show, she slid her hand across Jess's stomach. About half-way through the show she nuzzled her nose against the woman's ear. And near the end of the show, she turned Jess's face towards hers and kissed her.
It wasn’t even Jess’ pheremones, because that only worked on men. Which was stupid, but whatever. Giving in was so hard for her, because she wanted so much to find comfort in all of this. For it to be the same way it had always been. But then she felt that flush of her skin, and the way it felt when Carol was touching her and she turned her head and kissed her back, hungrily. Her fingers slid into Carol’s hair, ignoring pretty much everything around them.
It was very public, but it was also very dark and Carol couldn’t fight the thrill that coursed through her. It felt like a dam breaking inside her. The memories were still blanks but the emotions were flooding her, and it hurt. It was a good kind of hurt, at least. She tangled her fingers in Jess’s hair as well. There were things she wanted to say, but she didn’t have the words.
Kissing Carol was always amazing. The feel of her lips, the scent of her and everything else. It was just like it always had been, and she reveled in it. She kissed her harder, just giving in to all of the temptation that she’d been holding onto. She didn’t know what to say, but maybe there wasn’t anything to say. She just wanted this to last a little longer, before it was all gone.
Carol didn’t want to stop, but she knew they had to. The lights were starting to come on and they’d missed the finale. She cupped Jess’s cheeks and nuzzled her face. “God….” Then she kissed her again. A little more lightly, as though trying to see if it was more than spur of the moment.
Jess didn’t care at all that the lights were coming up or that they had forgot the finale. Oh well. She pulled back and gave a small smile, trying not to blush too much and nuzzled her face, pressing her cheek against hers. That made her smile and she kissed Carol again, gently this time. Lightly. “You are so beautiful.”
"I'm...you're beautiful, Jess." Carol grinned, her face about as red as parts of her uniform. "Too. God I think I'm going to cry. I have all these emotions and I don't know where to place them or attach them to but they're there."
She reached out and caressed Carol’s hair. “It’s okay. I’m here. You just go through them. Don’t hide them.” Jess would never leave her alone for all of this. She wanted to be there for her. “Want to go to the bathroom?”
Carol nodded her head. She thought she could control it but she needed a moment anyway. "I still feel like shit you know. For putting you through all of this." She got to her feet and squeezed Jess's hand.
“Don’t you dare. You’re my favorite person. We’ll get through this. “ Jess kissed the back of Carol’s hand and lead her into the bathroom so that Carol could get some composure or whatever she had to.