Frodo Baggins (theseabell) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-02-28 23:45:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, frodo baggins, merrill |
Who: Frodo and Merrill
When: Just before the conclusion of the Mount Doom plot
Where: Baggins House, Kitchen
What: Frodo tells Merrill what he plans to do
Rating/Warning: PG, for sad goodbyes
Status: Complete
All the shades had been drawn in the Baggins villa and the windows were tightly shut. Beyond them, the sky was thick with gray clouds like dirty rags, and ash was collecting like snow on the ground. Frodo’s skin was a similar shade. His heart felt as heavy as a rock, By both physically and spiritually. Although Luthien had been able to dispel much of his fell illness, she could not relieve him of his fate.
The only uncovered window in the house was the backdoor near the kitchen, which faced Bag End, and Frodo stared at it with an expression like he was watching a horror movie--which it nearly was! With trolls and orcs prowling against the backdrop of the blackened sky, Frodo felt like he was living through one of his more nightmarish dreams. That and the fact that the Ring seemed so far away locked in its safe within the hobbit hole. He felt it calling to him, almost as if it had a real voice, loud enough to all but drown out the warning in his heart: this volcano that had appeared was the opportunity he had long prayed for--no question it was Mount Doom! But Frodo was full of fear. And greed. And sadness.
Merrill was at a loss. Even before she had become a blood mage, her magic had never been the healing sort. She'd been a primal, nature mage; despite her normally cherry disposition, her magic was more prone to entropy than light. Seeing her husband like this was terribly troubling, and she found herself wishing for her old teammate Anders.
Merrill had been trying to focus on taking care of the household. Caring for the baby took up a great deal of time, and making sure there was food, should Frodo eat. Carson helped a great deal with the practical things, but Merrill was finding herself emotionally drained. She didn't like feeling as though she couldn't help.
"Frodo?" she called cautiously as she approached.
While he did not exactly turn with a start, his face was drawn and his eyes were hollow, and his stomach knotted as he looked over his shoulder at Merrill. Frodo felt much the same way: frustrated that he could not protect the people he loved. The Ring would mount its attacks again and again; as long as it existed, his family would never be safe. It made him saddest and most frightened to know that he was part of the threat. "Yes, dear?"
What was there to say? She could ask if he was all right, but he clearly wasn't. She didn't think cliches or platitudes would be much help now. "I'm worried about you," she said, honesty winning out. "Is there anything I can do?"
“I’m afraid…” Frodo’s voice trailed off there. In a way, it was all the needed to be said. He was afraid. Terribly so. But there was more. “...That it is something I have to do.” Again, he glanced out the window.
Merrill frowned. It wasn't what a wife and mother wanted to hear. Still, she couldn't ask him to turn away from duty. She'd once followed an adventurer too, after all. She nodded. "Then I'll go with you."
He turned back, this time sharply. Merrill putting herself directly in danger? That was the opposite of what Frodo wanted. “Go with me? No, Merrill. You don’t… you can’t.”
Merrill frowned. She had been an adventurer, too. Seeing Frodo like this, all she wanted to do was help him, and this was a way she could. "Frodo..."
But maybe he was right. They had a family, after all. Frodo wasn't the only one she needed to take care of. She could help Frodo by keeping their son safe. She bit her lower lip. "What are you going to do?"
Quietly, Frodo reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled out the chain hanging around his neck. It was silver, but the small object dangling from it was gold. His blood ran cold as he touched it. How could a thing so tiny and pretty cause so much pain?
"That volcano, it's the same one from my dreams," he said with a tremor in his voice. She knew what had happened to him there. He glanced at his missing finger. "I have to bring the Ring to it."
Merrill's face was drawn in worry. At least they knew Gollum wasn't a concern. "Can't I help, Frodo? I still have magic, and I can use a staff."
If only Gollum had been the real danger on Mount Doom. Sadly, Frodo knew that he himself had been the only true threat. “Could you use it against me, if it came to that?” he asked plainly. “Because the Ring does not want to be destroyed; and it knows how to manipulate. There are times when you have seen how I cannot resist it.”
Merrill's eyes widened. Use her magic against Frodo? It turned her stomach just to think of it. "Can anyone else do this thing?" Maybe if the ring manipulated Frodo, someone else should take over.
Frodo shook his head. He knew this was his fate, and a sick twist of it had brought the Ring back to him, but he could not fathom putting anyone else in such danger. Except... "Samwise has offered to go with me, as it was in the dreams."
Merrill nodded, frowning. At least there was that. She hadn't known Samwise very long, but she trusted him to look after Frodo. And perhaps to keep her husband's mind on what's important. "When?"
At last, Frodo stepped away from the door and moved closer to Merrill. He was still physically drained from the worst of his fell illness and his limbs were weak, but he wanted to hold his wife. "As soon as I can find a way there."
As she hugged her husband, Merrill realized she hated the feeling there was nothing she could do. The elf had sacrificed her home--been exiled from her People--for something she believed in, and now she was supposed to just sit at home and wait.
Merrill stepped back and pulled something from her hand. "Take this," she said, handing him a carved wooden ring of Dalish origin. It had been one of the items that appeared from her dreams, and she had been wearing it ever since. It wasn't magic, but she hoped it would serve as a reminder of Frodo's family, and protect him in that way.
Frodo held it between his thumb and index finger, turning it slowly. Two rings, so different from one another--and then his eyes fell upon his own wedding band and gently welled with tears. He reached toward Merrill to pull her closer. “Thank you,” he whispered. He was hardly able to speak at all.
She nodded, kissing his forehead as they leaned into each other. "I love you," she told him.
He tried to say it back, but his voice was stuck in his throat. Frodo swallowed and stared over Merrill’s shoulder, with his chin resting on top. Through the kitchen window, he could see a dark column of smoke in the sky.