Who: Jim Kirk and Hermione Granger-Kirk When: Valentine’s Day Where: Starting at their place What: Valentine’s Day Rating/Warnings: Low/Talk of Rape Status: Complete
Hermione wasn’t sure what Jim had in mind for the holiday. This was only their second Valentine’s Day together, though so much had happened over the last eighteen months that it felt like longer. Hermione was on the sofa in her sweats after class, and was curled around the cat, scratching behind his ears. Something was on the television, but she wasn’t paying attention. She was half-dozing, thinking about how they should order pizza or go up to the Enterprise and have the machines do all the cooking. She didn’t want to move, though.
Jim had plans. He’d been feeling adventurous and he felt like he owed Hermione a lot, after what happened with….whatever happened last month. He still didn’t know all that his evil self had done. He leaned over the couch and kissed the top of her head. “You should get ready.”
Hermione hadn’t talked to Jim about whatever it was that had happened last month. Actually, she’d been a bit distant. It wasn’t an easy thing for her to deal with, to live with, and she felt incredibly guilty over the whole bit.
“Hmm?” She asked, turning her face up to look at him. “...get ready?”
"For our date." He raised an eyebrow. "It's Valentine's Day and I have some plans. And I probably owe you a good time." Jim rubbed the back of his neck, giving her his most sheepish look.
“Oh.” Hermione sat up a little, looking surprised and a little sheepish. “Valentine’s Day. I thought… I guess I just thought that we’d stay home. Take a night in. I didn’t realize.” She removed Crookshanks from her lap gingerly, then climbed up to her feet and dusted cat hair from her clothes.
“What should I wear?”
“I was hoping for that blue dress of yours,” he said. “That kind of sparkly one. It’s a fancy place I’m taking you to.” The captain leaned back off of the couch, as though he thought she needed some space.
“I can do that.” Hermione said, breaking into a small smile at the thought of the dress. “Oh, but I broke my heels. The black ones. That go with that dress.” She’d have to figure out something else to wear on her feet. Not that Hermione was big on fashion, but she’d been told which shoes to wear with which dress--mostly by salespeople--and wanted to make sure she didn’t make a huge fashion faux pas.
“I already took the liberty of having the Enterprise replicate you a replacement pair.” He grinned proudly at Hermione. “Thought ahead. Made Captain in three years for a reason, you know.”
She turned to look at him, and the corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. She was proud. Honored. Flattered. His thoughtfulness was touching. “Thank you.” She said. “Let me go get dressed. I’ll be right back.” She headed off down the hallway.
Crookshanks jumped up onto the back of the sofa and sat there glaring at Jim.
“What are you looking at?” He put his hands on his hips. “You should have warned her!” And there, he got into a staring contest with a cat.
Crookshanks simply cocked his head to the side as he stared at Jim. There was a glare in there. And a rumbling growl in his chest. Then he turned, jumped down off the sofa, and trotted back toward the bedroom. His bottle-brush tail was sticking straight up in the air.
Hermione’d put on the blue dress he liked, and slipped into the new shoes. They were perfect. She was pushing earring studs through the holes in her ears, on the way back out into the living room, and passed Crookshanks in the hall. She turned to Jim with a little frown. “...all right?”
Jim was smartly dressed to match, and he shook his head. “He’s still mad over everything.” And he wondered if Hermione was too. But she was a smart woman who didn’t usually let her emotions rule over her.She’d seen a darker side of Jim Kirk, but that hadn’t been her Jim Kirk. He had to trust her to trust him.
“Oh. Yes, well. He would be, wouldn’t he?” Hermione should have trusted Crookshanks’ instinct. After all, the cat could tell more about a person from watching for a few minutes than most people could tell about a person after several years together. It was a good sign that Crookshanks seemed to trust Jim, and it should have been an obvious one that Crookshanks seemed to hate Evil!Jim.
Hermione reached one hand over and offered it to her husband. “Where are we going?”
“I happened to get us reservations at one of the most exclusive restaurants in Berlin,” Jim replied, his face spreading into a grin. Sure, he could have picked London or Paris, but he’d never been to Berlin in this life, and he thought it could be a first for both of them.
A smile flickered across Hermione’s face. “I’ll have to brush up on my German.” She said, stepping closer to him. “Promise you’ll have me home before curfew?”
“With the time zone difference that might be hard.” He rested his hand on Hermione’s shoulder and rubbed lightly. “Ready to beam up?”
Hermione looked up into the face of the man she loved and took a long moment, studying him. Then she gave a gentle nod. “Ready.”
He studied her, then nodded back. A moment later they were in Berlin. It was early evening there, and traffic was bustling. “Just in time!”
Hermione took hold of his hand and let him lead the way. Even though there was still some strangeness between them, she wasn’t about to lose him. She only knew a few choice phrases in German, and he was the one with the link to the Enterprise. If they got separated, it would be a difficult and long journey to get home.
“Where are our reservations?” She asked. “...do they speak English?” She lifted her eyes to take a look around, now getting distracted by the history and architecture that was the city of Berlin. Her feet slowed a bit as she took it all in.
He let her take his hand, but didn’t squeeze it. Though he didn’t rush her, he pulled her along towards the restaurant, and held out a small device. “Put that in your ear. It’ll translate for you.”
Hermione accepted the device without question, and slipped it into her ear like a hearing aid. Of course, she didn’t hesitate for a moment--though she probably should have. Evil!Jim looked and sounded an awful lot like Nice!Jim at first.
“Thanks,” she said, and suddenly she could hear the conversations around them in English. People sitting outside a cafe, talking about cigarettes. A woman telling her dog to keep up on their brisk walk. A couple of lovers leaning against a wall, talking about their plans tonight.
It made things easier, and the technology automatically translated for the people around them. It was easier with earth languages than alien languages, after all.
Jim led her up to the restaurant. They had reservations and the table was a romantic one, complete with candles. It was about as private as one could get and still be in the main dining area. He didn’t want to ruin the evening by talking about things but thought they might have to. The longer they didn’t talk, to worse things could get.
Hermione shrugged off her jacket and sat in her chair, smiling gently at the romance of the place. It was perfect for Valentine’s Day. She straightened her skirt out over her knees as she crossed her legs under the table. “...So.”
Jim smiled at her over the table. It was a strained, slightly worried smile. He ordered some wine and then rested his hands on the table in front of him. “So…” He felt less than smooth right now. The exact opposite of smooth.
“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Hermione said. She felt awkward. There was a big elephant in the room that neither of them was mentioning. Perhaps it was time to bring it up?
...not quite. “This is lovely, thank you for taking me out.” She added, tucking her bushy, brown hair behind her ears.
“I’ve been thinking about this all month,” Jim said. “Looking forward to it. We actually haven’t...gotten out much lately.”
“No. Not since--” but she didn’t finish that thought. It was actually a little depressing to think how long it’d been since the two of them had connected in a meaningful way. Hermione gave a little sigh. “I’ve missed you. The real you.”
Jim lowered his head and stared into his drink. “It’s not easy to look into a mirror and see the way you could have been. I can’t even punch the bastard.”
Hermione shifted in her chair. “...you… we haven’t talked about it. I mean, how much do you know about what happened?”
“I know there was an alternate me, and I know he pretended to be me with you, and probably some others. He also tried to take over the Enterprise but the security system knew better.”
“But you don’t know… what he did? What we did?” Hermione asked, frowning just slightly. “...I feel horrible.” Dirty, really, but she didn’t want to say that out loud.
“I kind of guessed,” he admitted. After all, it’s what he would have done in his younger, stupider days. He was man enough to admit that to himself. “But it’s not your fault, Mione. He looked exactly like me. I was stuck in his world that whole time.”
Her eyes flicked up to his face. “...you were in his world?”
Jim nodded. “It was more like the future, but instead of a Federation it was a human-led Empire. Really nasty stuff.”
“Oh.” Hermione’s face fell into a frown. “I’m sorry, Jim. I didn’t know. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” He didn’t want this to be about him. Things had been hairy, after all, but Hermione’s trauma was much worse. “I’m more concerned about you. And what he did.”
Hermione shifted in her chair, and tore her eyes away from his face. “...it’s fine. It’s… in the past.” She was more embarrassed, guilty, shamed than anything else. The sex had been amazing. The fact that it hadn’t been Jim in there made her feel absolutely wretched.
“It’s not fine. It’s clearly bothering you. It’s clearly making you feel like shit.” And Jim couldn’t help but blame himself, even if he hadn’t been at fault.
“I should have known it wasn’t you. I should have been able to see it. I mean… you’re my husband.” Hermione confessed, now tears were springing to her eyes. “...I should know you better than anyone else in my life, and I just… blew it. And we… he and I… god, I’m so sorry, Jim.” She lifted her napkin to dab at her cheeks as the tears spilled out of them.
“He was me,” Jim replied, reaching over to take her hand. “A darker me, a me who grew up, but still me. A potential I could have been, all my dark and bad impulses given life.”
“I just… shouldn’t have done anything with him. I love you... not some strange, alternate universe you.” Hermione explained. “...I’m so sorry, I feel… I feel like I’ve broken your trust. I’ve been confused and tricked and used.”
“You were tricked. It’s not your fault.” He knew this had been bothering her, but not that bad. Not on this level. “It’s...he pretended to be me to sleep with you. That’s pretty much rape.”
Hermione hadn’t thought about it that way. She hadn’t used that word. And now that it’d been said aloud, she wasn’t sure how to handle it. Or if she could handle it. She lifted her napkin to cover her mouth for a moment, unable to meet his eyes. The word made her feel worse, somehow.
Gently he put his hand over hers again. He hadn't wanted to say that word but how could she get through this without accepting the reality of the situation? If she had known it wasn't him she wouldn't have consented and that what that.
“I … don’t…” She sighed. “I’m sorry, Jim.” She said, and turned her hand over to take hold of his. She couldn’t help but feel guilty. Like she’d betrayed him. That was the worst part of it. Her body was now dirtied, sullied. “...I guess I’ve just got some stuff to deal with.” She said, lifting her napkin to wipe at her tears again.
“Maybe we should find someone to talk to,” he suggested. As a Starship captain he’d often had to be alike a psychiatrist. But he was too close to this, and looked just like the person who’d wronged her.
"Maybe." Hermione agreed. "I want things to get better. I hate feeling this way. I miss you."
Jim reached for his wine and sipped it. This hurt to admit, but he knew he had to. “I miss you too. God, it feels like we’re strangers now.”
“I’m so sorry, Jim. I shouldn’t have pulled away, I just… I didn’t know how to handle it. And every time I looked at you…” She finally lifted her eyes to his face. “...I saw him.”
“I know.” his eyes were full of sympathy and pain. This wasn’t something he was going to be able to fix easy. Maybe not at all. “I could have Bones change my face?”
"No. I like your face." She squeezed his hand. It was a silly thought, but the idea that he was willing to do that for her? It warmed her from the inside out. "I just... I think I need to be reminded that you're not him. I think I need to spend more time with you. Staying away hasn't helped."
“We could always have a little adventure. Go camping, rock climbing, hang gliding…” It might be good for the both of them.
Hermione broke into a small smile. It may have felt like they were starting at ground zero, but she knew better. She was head over heels in love with Jim Kirk, and nothing was going to change that. “That sounds great. We should do that. Just the two of us.”
“I’ll get something set up for us next weekend then. It’ll be cold but that’s half the fun.” He looked forward to it. The two of them, death and danger and the cold.
Hermione’s smile spread a little, lighting up her eyes. She was looking forward to it. “Good. Now.” She lifted her wine glass to clink it against his. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jim. I love you.”
His glass clinked against hers and he grinned, a spark back in his eyes. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you too.”