pansymalfoy (pansymalfoy) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-01-29 16:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, draco malfoy, pansy malfoy, zuko |
Who: Pansy, Draco and Zuko
When: Jan 5, 2014
Where: Starting at the Malfoy House, then off
What: Meeting Pansy’s birth mother
Rating/Warning: TBD/Issues of putting kids up for adoption, meeting birth parents, that sort of thing.
Status: Complete
Pansy got up extra early, drank like, four cups of super strong tea, then apparated straight into Draco and Zuko’s living room. It was around eight in the morning, probably before the boys were even up--still, she covered her eyes with her hands. “Drake? Zuke?” She said, hopefully. “Please tell me you’re decent?”
She moved carefully through the living room toward the kitchen, hoping she wouldn’t trip over something with her eyes closed.
Draco was up and dressed and in the kitchen making coffee, he’d had a feeling that Pans wouldn’t have slept very much and would be over super early.
“In here and yes we’re decent” he replied amusement lacing his tone, “Well Zuk is getting dressed but it’s close enough”
Pansy nearly stumbled when her foot hit the edge of the rug. But Draco said they were decent, so she was able to open her eyes and catch herself on the wall so she wouldn’t hit the floor. “Oh, thank God. You know, your place isn’t very easy to navigate with your eyes shut.” She said, and then walked the rest of the way into the kitchen. “Breakfast?”
“You’re just used to your place now” Draco told her, “Sure. What do you feel like? We’re pretty well stocked right now”
“I dunno. Something fast?” Pansy said. “I really want to get on the road. Not sure I’ll be able to eat much anyway.” She perched on one of the kitchen chairs, but her knees were bouncing with nerves, and her hands nearly shaking.
Draco nodded, “I’ll do us all omelettes, it won’t take long” he said, leaning over to place his hand over hers and squeezed before preparing breakfast.
Zuko snuck out of the bedroom, hair a hot mess, and shirt half way toward being tucked into his slacks. "Coffee," he said blearily, squinting at Draco, and then Pansy in turn. What he really meant was 'good morning', though.
Pansy barely noticed when Zuko came into the kitchen. “Don’t put too much work into them,” she said. “Not sure how much I’ll be able to stomach anyway.” Of course, she’d just said something very similar. She didn’t notice her repetition, she was so zonked out with nerves. “And coffee. I’d love a cup.”
Draco rolled his eyes affectionately at the pair of them before moving to pour out two cups of coffee. He handed Zuko’s his with a quick kiss to his temple and then Pansy hers with a brief ruffle to her hair. Then he went back to making small omelettes for them all. Giving Pansy time to calm down and Zuko time to wake up.
The ruffle did very little to Pansy's hair. It was already, and always, a mess. She lifted a hand to wave him off, but absent mindedly and with little enthusiasm. Her attention was on her coffee.
Zuko might have said something that was almost a thank you to Draco, or possibly might have been a greeting to Pansy before he plopped himself down at the kitchen table and pointedly stared at nothing for a solid minute and a half. After that, he sipped at his coffee, squinted, and then looked up. "How far a drive is it?"
"Couple of hours" Draco replied as he continued cooking, Pansy had sent him the address so he could pop the details in the sat nav.
“Mmm,” said Zuko, going back to useless and staring at his coffee again. He really wasn’t the most animated of people when it came to mornings. He’d get there. Eventually. With a lazy wave, he gestured for Pansy to sit down.
Pansy moved over to a seat next to Zuko’s and sat down. Though her knees wouldn’t stop bouncing and her fingers tapping the table gently. She was holding the coffee cup so tightly in her free hand that it was shaking a bit. “...it’s not a bad drive. At least there’s like, shit to look at.” Nature and stuff.
“Yes there is shit to look at. It’ll be fine” Draco replied, before dishing up the food. One good thing about making omelettes was they were really quick. He set the plates down in front of his sister and husband with the cutlery before coming to stand by Pansy. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to lean against him, “It’ll be okay Pans” he said rubbing her arm.
Pansy gave a little nod, and leaned against her brother for a moment. Then she sighed, and turned her attention back down to the eggs and coffee in front of her. “I should probably eat something.” She said, and lifted her fork to take a bite.
“Probably,” Zuko agreed mildly, finishing off his coffee and standing to make a whole new cup (overly sweet) before actually making a move to eat the omelet. “At least so you have something to actually vomit up when you get too nervous.” Zuko: absolutely no fucking help in the morning, apparently. He meant well, really.
“Pans is not going to throw up with nerves husband dear” Draco said, pinching Zuko’s ass as he moved past him but stealing a kiss too. “Come on guys, eat and drink then we’re just going for a nice drive”
Pansy nodded. She gulped down the whole cup in one go. It was hot and bitter, and made her stomach feel warm… then slightly queasy. “I’d rather throw up something than nothing.” She offered. Though, she likely wasn’t going to vomit. Queasy, sure. But she had a pretty tough stomach. She started on her food, picking at it. Mmm. Eggs. She focused on the chewing and was able to get through about half of it before she set her fork down. “I think it’s time.” She said, standing, after several minutes of eating in silence.
Zuko only stuck his tongue out before wolfing down his own omelet and finishing off another full cup of coffee before Pansy decided she was finished.
"Here," he said, dropping his dishes in the sink before slinking off to the living room, his voice raised so they could still hear him out of the room. "I packed up some CDs last night and stuff. For a distraction." Zuko was good at this. A few hour drive could be made far less awkward with good music and some dinosaur themed coloring books and crayons for Pansy.
"Okay troops, lets move out" Draco said, grabbing his keys and pulling Zuko close for a kiss which he knew his husband would understand was a thank you. Draco didn't know what he'd do without him and would hopefully never have to find out.
Pansy wasn’t even trying to ignore the mushy, love stuff. She was so preoccupied that she barely noticed. The three climbed into Draco’s car, with Pansy curled up in the back seat. The Dinosaur coloring book was the best idea ever, by the way. It would make her … well, not very happy, but at least happier than she would have been otherwise.
“Put on some good music, eh?” She said, leaning back and staring blankly out the window.
“I always put on good music,” Zuko said, slipping into the passengers side seat and shoving in a mix CD of upbeat alternative before even buckling his seatbelt. He turned, thoughtful, and stared at Pansy once they were actually on the move.
“What will you say?”
Pansy finally turned to look at Zuko, considering the question. Of course, she’d been asking herself that same thing all day. What was she going to say? When the time came? “I dunno.” She said, then broke into a trademark Pansy smirk. “You might have to hold my hand so I don’t haul off and slap her.”
At the same time, though, she thought she might be able to understand. What would Pansy have done if she’d gotten pregnant at 18 or whatever? She would have done something similar. Get the baby into a good home, and as far away from her train wreck of a life as possible. So she could understand. Sort of.
“I think I’ll just… ask a bunch of questions.” She added, thoughtfully.
Draco stayed quiet, using the excuse of focusing on the road while he got his own thoughts in order. He had no reason to resent this woman but he did. He thought he’d moved on from his insecurities but coming face to face with this situation he knew he hadn’t completely. Part of him didn’t want them to get along, he didn’t want to be replaced as Pansy’s family. She was his sister, his. They’d grown up close, always getting into trouble together and telling each other everything. He didn’t like the idea that this woman - who had given up the wonderful person that Pansy was - could try and take that away. But, he reminded himself, this wasn’t about him. It was about what Pansy wanted and he had promised her and himself that he’d help in any way he could.
Of course Zuko’s viewpoint was objective and from the outside here -- he hadn’t grown up with these two, didn’t quite know what it was like to be rejected in such an obvious manner (no, his family’s rejection was much different). He supposed, of course, he could understand the need to have answers, though.
“Is this a surprise visit? Are we just hoping this lady is sitting in her living room waiting?”
“I got her schedule from the Private Investigator. She’s expecting a delivery this morning, so… I don’t think she’ll leave the house.” Pansy said, sitting up a little in her chair and turning to lean against the window. She couldn’t find a comfortable position, and it had nothing to do with being in the back of his car. Her stomach was in knots. “I’m just not sure… I mean, she’s going to remember me, right? What if she tries to tell me I’m lying?”
“She’ll remember you Pans” Draco spoke softly but loud enough to be heard in the back of the car, “And if she tries to tell you that you’re lying we show her everything that proves you aren’t” he said glancing in the rearview mirror to give her a smile.
Pansy gave a little nod, then went quiet. The music was a good distraction, though her mind kept coming back to the words she was trying to form, the tone she wanted to have. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the window, riding silently. Which was saying a lot--Pansy wasn’t normally so quiet.
Zuko didn’t know a lot about women persay, but he was fairly certain that it would be impossible to forget something like birthing a child. Don’t quote him on it, but that was just kind of his opinion.
Either way, he decided not to speak up in this conversation -- it was more for brothers and sisters. It was easier to keep quiet for the time being. He cuddled a little into his seat and closed his eyes. He wasn’t sleeping, but no promises. Long drives were the worst.
Draco turned his attention back to driving with glances at his sister and husband every now and then, just to make sure they were okay. Thankfully the music filled the car so it wasn’t completely silent but he had a feeling it would still feel much longer than it really was.
Pansy snoozed off and on. Every time she woke, it was a different song playing. She went over and over through the thoughts in her head, trying to figure out what she was going to say.
Finally, they pulled up in front of an apartment complex. Pansy climbed out of the back seat and pulled a piece of paper from her pocket to double-check the apartment number. “Walk me to the door?” She asked over her shoulder, glancing back at the boys in the car.
Zuko unfolded himself from the front seat, taking his feet off of the dash as he opened the door and nearly spilled out onto the concrete. “Sure,” he agreed -- although he knew it would be both him and Draco doing it.
Draco nodded in agreement coming around to walk with them and hugging Pansy to him briefly, "Love you" he told her, giving her his strength.
Pansy nodded, swallowing hard. She bumped her head into her brother’s as they walked, then released him when she was ten feet away from the front door. After a few deep, steadying breaths, Pansy headed up to the door. She lifted a hand and knocked, then waited. It took about a minute for the woman to answer the door--and it was one of the longest minutes of her life.
“Yes?” The woman said. They stood there for a moment, surveying each other. Pansy didn’t say anything. The woman’s face slowly started to fade into understanding. “Oh, my God.”
Pansy nodded.
“Oh, my God.” The woman repeated. “You’re… her. Aren’t you? You’re P-Pansy.”
Pansy nodded again.
There was another pause. The woman looked over at Draco and Zuko, recognizing Draco instantly, as she remembered Lucius well. Then she looked back to Pansy. “I suppose you have some questions.”
Pansy glanced back at her brother, then forward to her birth mother. “I do. Can I come in?” This was something she needed to do on her own.
Pansy’s mother nodded, then stepped aside and held open the door. Pansy glanced once at Draco and Zuko, giving a gentle don’t worry about me expression, then stepped through the doorway. It closed behind her.
Draco gave a small nod to Pansy before she stepped inside. The moment she was out of sight he latched on to Zuko’s hand and used it to pull him close and simply wrap his arms around his husband as he breathed out the breath he’d been holding.
Zuko returned the embrace, held on tight and tried to just be a comforting presence. This, really, was what he was here for. “Draco,” he said pointedly -- skipping the nicety of questions and just getting straight to the important part of the conversation as was his wont. “You know this won’t change anything.”
"Then why does it feel like it will?" Draco replied, voice muffled where he'd essentially buried his head in Zukos neck. Thankful his husband was here since he wasn't sure he would be able to do this on his own. And very sure he didn't want to do it on his own.
Zuko hummed out a little noise that wasn’t really telling of anything before petting his fingers through Draco’s hair. “Because you’re very dramatic,” he told his husband. It wasn’t true, but anything to lighten the mood.
Draco laughed softly and hugged Zuko tighter, "I love you" he said, kissing him softly before drawing back a little, "Lets go wait in the car. Her neighbours might be nosey"
“Love you too,” Zuko murmured, pressing a kiss to Draco’s temple and then nudging him toward the car. He didn’t care much about nosey neighbors, but at least they could put the radio on there. Who knew how long this would take, after all.
It ended up taking about twenty minutes. Pansy came out, pink faced and wiping her cheeks with her sleeve. She closed the door behind herself, and headed over to the car where Draco and Zuko were waiting. Her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her feet shuffled slowly.
When she reached the car she pulled open the back door and climbed inside, silently, tears still pouring down her cheeks. “Let’s go home.”
Draco turned in his seat and felt white hot anger course through him at the woman inside the house, he didn’t know what she’d said but it had obviously upset Pansy. He held out his hand to her silently as he started the car.
Pansy reached forward, took hold of his hand, and squeezed it. Then she leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes, and sighed. “...Cheeseburgers first. Then home.”
“You got it sis” Draco nodded squeezing her hand in return before letting go in order to get them home.