Rukia Kuchiki (sleevedsnow) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2014-01-27 13:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, byakuya kuchiki, renji abarai, rukia kuchiki |
Who: Rukia, Byakuya and Renji
What: Discussing dreams
Where: The mansion of doom
When: A couple of days ago.
Rating: PG - mild talk of execution
Status: Complete
After their exchange on the valar net, Byakuya had made it a point to not avoid Rukia. In fact, he left his office, and he did not go to his bedroom or to go hover at the edge of the koi pond. Those had been his routines, over the past month. Now, he waited downstairs at the dining room table, staring straight ahead with an unreadable expression on his face. Sooner or later, Rukia would have to pass by. Unless she had stopped eating entirely, which might be some form of boycott, considering her attitude was vastly different from how it was in his dreams.
He knew all too well, based on those dreams, that he hadn't been the best family to her, either. Here, he knew she hated him, here. And she had every reason to hate him in the dreams, as well. He had sent her to her execution. He hadn't seen what was being planned behind the scenes. And it was only after Ichigo Kurosaki had fought against him and said things which made him rethink - for Byakuya was quietly stubborn in contrast to the loud stubborn of others - that he realized he was wrong, made amends by saving Rukia from being impaled, and asked for forgiveness.
His chest felt heavier, thinking about it. He had gone through Hisana dying, twice. He was going through trying to watch over Rukia and failing, twice. He had no idea what to do with Renji, who was more or less his polar opposite in both worlds, and that was also a times two.
It seemed no matter what he tried to do, for all his expertise in running businesses and overseeing finances, was doomed to go terribly wrong.
Where as he wanted not to avoid his sister, Rukia wanted nothing more than to just ignore that he existed. All of those dreams about going to Ichigo, giving him all of her power and knowing that it was wrong. That it was really bad and against every law. She just couldn’t help herself because it was what needed to be done. All of that crap she went to. Going to school. Helping Ichigo figure out his new power. His friends. It was a little much.
Too bad she hadn’t gotten to the point where he had asked her for forgiveness. For her he and Renji, her supposed best friend in the world had both come to take her away. To execute her. And they had probably killed Ichigo in the process. So no, she wasn’t exactly a happy kitten. With him in the dreams or in reality. He could go take a flying leap for all she cared.
Tonight Rukia thought perhaps he had gone to some business meeting. She had planned to go to the kitchen, grab some food and then head back up to her room. But no, there he was in the dining room. Waiting for her. She didn’t want to have this conversation. Still Rukia didn’t say anything. She had nothing to say to him.
She probably wasn't great at sneaking by, since Byakuya's senses were a bit more finely honed than her's were. He knew where she was, before she even spotted him.
"Rukia." His voice sounded even older and more tired than before. "We can not continue avoiding one another. Get your food and please sit down, so we can talk about what was mentioned, earlier."
Well? He cut to the chase. Sort of. All while fixedly staring at the very far end of the table.
There was a frustrated sigh on her part, but instead of arguing, she grabbed her food and then got a plate and went to sit down at the table. She sat down and fiddled with her food, before picking up her banana and opening it up so that she could eat it.
“What do you want?”
"I mean to discuss our avoidance of one another," he said, slowly, followed by an even more slowly spoken, "and to apologize."
It wasn't often (if ever) that he did so, and it was evident in the way he was thoughtfully choosing his words. His dreams had been disturbing and he was complying with Rukia's execution order and not interfering, as much as he inwardly wanted to. Oh, he understood why he was doing that also, while it simultaneously made him angry at himself for his inaction and...he stopped that train of thought dead in it's tracks and focused on the here and now, instead.
"I have wronged you. In more ways than one, even if I am not able to elaborate. I do not know the extent of your dreams. I do not hate you, Rukia. I owe you and Renji an apology, but I feel that Renji is perhaps better off with his own life and as little interference on my part, as necessary." Another pause and he directed his gaze over to her instead of straight ahead. "It is apparent that you are in need of such treatment, as well. Even if I will uphold my promise to protect you, if you are in danger. Because I want to and have chosen to. Not because I have to."
He left off what ‘such treatment’ involved, but since he had barely spoken to Renji...who also very likely hated him? It was a pretty safe assumption that it was going to be of the continuing silent variety.
Apologize? Now she’d heard absolutely everything. Him apologize. Her eyebrows were raised. And even though he said that he was going to apologize, she was pretty sure that he wasn’t actually going to apologize. Just make it sound like he was without really doing it. That seemed his way.
When he actually started to apologize, she couldn’t help but look surprised. Rukia really didn’t think he cared enough to do so. Though apparently he did. She understood on a fundamental level that they weren’t the same person. He wasn’t the one who actually sentenced her to death, because hey, she wasn’t being sentenced to death. She hated agreeing with him, but she thought the sentiment about Renji being better off somewhere away from him was a good idea. Was he actually suggesting that he would back off? Hm.
“I’m going to be executed in my dreams. And you certainly don’t care. Neither does Renji for that matter, but he’s not my..” She didn’t finish and just shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know what to think. I mean I could not wake up at all one night if I have a dream that I’m executed. That’s what people say. That what happens in the dreams happens for real.” Rukia didn’t exactly buy that, but she didn’t want to test it either.
“Honestly I don’t know what to do about it, or how to feel. I’m lost. I didn’t want any of this. I get that you’re never going to be nice or even friendly, but.. we have to figure this out instead of arguing with each other all the time.”
"I have looked through the valar net, for answers. If I remember correctly, others have had dreams of dying, but were still alive to announce it. I also do not think you are aware that my lieutenant attempted to confront me regarding your pending execution. We fought one another and he was gravely injured. However. Even he knew it was wrong and my apology to you...at that time...will be forthcoming, as the dreams progress." Byakuya paused for a moment as though he was in deep thought, "I am as stubborn as Renji and Ichigo Kurosaki are. But I wish to temper that with some measure of reason."
Understatement of the year? No, more like the infinite universe.
"All of my life, I have strived to follow the rules. Even when I did not agree with them or those who issued them. That is because I wished to set an example to those around me, and because I felt a responsibility to do so. Your sister knew this, but we were both...quiet people. In the case of your execution, I did not like it. I did not agree with it. But I promised on my parent's graves that I would not break any rules, long before it came to that. I know now, that it was a mistake to make such a promise." With a silent sigh, Byakuya said under his breath, "Although I said that Renji is better off being away, he should have been here to hear this."
Huh. So Renji had stood up for her and fought her brother. Well that didn’t say much about Byakuya, even if he said that he was going to apologize to her. She couldn’t help but look more than a bit surprised at the whole thing. He was actually going to say he was sorry? “No, I didn’t know that. You hurt Renji? I mean dream you..” she didn’t know what to think about that part. “Yeah you’re all stubborn and this whole thing is ridiculous. But at least I’m not going to die.” She was glad about that part of course. “Reason? Like only not letting me die when someone threatens to kick your ass?” Ugh.
Following the rules was clearly overrated. She noticed that all of that following the rules thing reminded her of a lot of awful people from their own world. It was taking a lot of her willpower not to facepalm at him. That was definitely an excuse to use when it came to having people you were supposed to protect killed. “Yeah he probably should have. He deserves to hear all of that as much as I do. Which is why I’m going to call him and tell him to come over and then you’re going to repeat yourself.”
Before he could protest, Rukia grabbed her phone and dialed Renji so that he could come over and hear all of this stuff that her brother was spouting. Then maybe they could figure things out.
Byakuya didn't protest. Rather, he waited patiently while Rukia made the call, looking like he was reflecting on the situation in its entirety. The dreams, the apology, Renji, Rukia...all of it.
Renji, meanwhile, had been trying to catch up on sleep, now that he felt he could sleep without things going weirder than before. Which he is still - stubbornly - trying to convince himself is not real.
He answered the phone with a impatient sounding, "Yeah?!" for he did not look at who was calling and was expecting that it was his work asking him to cover yet another shift. "The answer's NO, 'cuz I don't wanna do any more turn-around shifts, got it?"
This was probably a good thing in general. When they were all having the same dreams and it was getting complicated, they could probably use a good conversation about it. The last thing she wanted was everything to bleed over more from the dreams into real life.
“Got it. Actually it’s Rukia. I was wondering if you could come over. I think maybe we should talk.. about the dreams.” She didn’t want him to think that she wanted to chastise him or something like that.
Well that made Renji do a double take. "At your house? Uhh...mansion...estate...castle thing. With your brother there? Huh, ok. Give me a few."
“Yeah, at my house. Mansion.. thing. With my brother here. He wants to tell you something. I swear he’s not going to yell at you or anything.” She gave her brother a look to make sure that he knew that he wasn’t going to do any of that. “Thanks, I appreciate you coming over.” Rukia didn’t want him thinking that there was going to be some fight when he got here.
He hung up and fell out of bed, just trying to scramble to make himself look halfway presentable. Because blue plaid boxers, a t-shirt with a giant pink flower on it, and a red bandana headband is just not going to cut it, fashionwise.
And he would drive right over in the crapmobile, which would be parked out front and look so out of place, that Byakuya might be compelled to buy Renji a new car in case he ever drives over there again. Because...eyesores.
Finally she hung up the phone when he said he was on the way and then sat down. They would just patiently wait.
Byakuya waited patiently as well, although he did raise one hand so that a servant came out of the woodwork (like a ninja) and he asked for a cup of tea, as well as another place setting to be set for Renji when he arrived.
And indeed, Renji did thusly park his rusty crapmobile in front of Byakuya's very nice house, causing many servants and a ninja sexretary to make faces which included eyetwitches, and then show him inside.
Of course, Renji looked uncomfortable. If he sneezed the wrong way, something expensive might get spittle on it or fall over, and he would be held responsible. Since he wasn't sure how much Byakuya remembered at all and if those stupid dreams were real, he didn't want to be blenderedized by pink flower petals of death.
"Renji," Byakuya said in his usual monotone, "sit down." It was like telling a disobedient dog to sit and it caused Renji to make a sour face which Byakuya fully ignored. That was even after Renji sat down across from Rukia, because he eyerolled a little bit.
"As you know, we have all been afflicted by strange dreams," Byakuya began, like he was reading off of invisible cue cards. He meant every word he was saying, but it was a lifetime of strict upbringing and self-imposed rules that kept him held in check. "I wish to apologize for my part in them, for I was mistaken and made wrong decisions, against the both of you."
Renji was wide-eyed and silent for a few seconds, before he oh-so-intelligently (and very loudly) said, "...no shit? So this dream stuff is real?!"
Although there was the slightest hint of a muscle spasm at the outer corner of his left eye, Byakuya further ignored that commentary as he continued, "Although the both of you are under the impression that I did not care for either of you, other than it being an obligation to a in-law and a foisted upon me lieutenant...that is not true. I am not lenient with those I am close to, since I still expect others to abide by rules and promises. I am poor at communicating. I sometimes have an error in judgment. Because of the nature of the dreams, pushing you away in this lifetime is a mistake that I do not wish to make again."
Well, his personality obviously wasn't going to change, but at least he was striving to make some amends.
Renji was gawking but that wasn't unusual for him, considering he was much more open about showing his reactions to hell-a-weird shit like this, than his captain was.
Rukia waited patiently and awkwardly for Renji to get there. While waiting, she asked for her own cup of tea and then grabbed a banana. Hopefully he wouldn’t take too long. She didn’t say much when he actually got there. Just a slight nod of her head and a pleading look that said she apologized that he had to come all the way down here. She still didn’t want him to think this was some kind of ambush.
She didn’t really say much, figuring it was best that he would just get it over with. That they would all get it out in the open. “Apparently it’s real. I mean as real as dreams can get.” She nearly nudged Renji though for his outburst.
Since she’d heard this before, there was less gawking. But she still didn’t know what to say. “I guess we’ll try to be.. better at communicating with you. At least I will. I have no hope for Renji.”
"HEY." Renji gave Rukia a dirty look, even if he knew it was the truth.
"Rukia has made a valid point." Even Byakuya looked thoughtful as he touched one hand to his chin and furrowed his brows. "Renji is hopeless."
"HEY! Assholes! You can't invite me here and then insult me, after saying all that...nice crap about...apologizing and...yeah, whatever." He lightly kicked Rukia in the shin. "But I still don't believe those dream things are real."
"They are real," confirmed Byakuya, without hesitation.
"...seriously?"
"Yes." That was said with a sigh, as though - by now - Byakuya had hoped Renji would have already figured it out. "Rukia and I have already established this, and you should have gathered based on the conversation at hand."
".......................................
Rukia had a very bad urge to reach over and pat Renji on the head, but she would seriously be asking for it if she did that. “You know what I mean. You’re as bad as he is, but on the opposite scale. He says nothing, you say too much.” Which about summed it up.
She winced but didn’t kick him back, she kind of deserved it.
“Yeah seriously. It’s like everyone else. This is just ours. We’re Shinigami. This isn’t exactly Soul Society, but.. it’ll do.” She shrugged some.
Sigh. He was really hopeless.
He so was. While Byakuya had made a 'hmm' sound and nodded in agreement with Rukia's statement, the wheels of Renji's brain were cranking away like he was trying to do a really difficult calculus problem...and failboating.
"It is real," reiterated Byakuya, with his eyes half opened. The look was unenthused, since he knew it would take more than once for it to sink in.
"All right, FINE. So maybe it's real," a very reluctant Renji admitted. He was trying to figure out some of the weirder shit he had seen other people do around him. That required his brain to wrap around it all, in pretzel-like shapes. There was also another matter: "I'm trying to figure out how to do all of that stuff that I could do as a Shinigami. I have my soul slayer sword thing and some magazine that I wrote an article for, when I was in Soul Society. Do both of you have your swords yet?"
When the grumpy guy who was never a fan of everything said it was real, it was probably real. If anyone was going to deny it all, she would have thought it would be Byakuya, not Renji. She mostly believed because so many other people had dreams like that. All these people she did and didn’t know. It had to be real. As real as dreams could be though.
She shook her head. “I don’t have mine. You have yours? What happened? Did it come in the mail?” she was honestly curious about how that kind of thing worked. And why he was still in denial after he’d just gotten a sword from his dreams.
It would be kind of great if she got her sword. Not that she would say that out loud.
Byakuya had figured it out that it was all real, by the time he had the third or fourth dream. In fact, "I have mine. I awoke, and it was there, on a table. It was not there, when I went to sleep the night before."
"Yep, same here. Woke up with it there, tripped over it," Renji replied, scratching one side of his head. "I thought it was just some kind of joke, like tattoo ninjas tattooing my face. Or that chick that turned into a dude at the drive thru. Or that girl with the sleeping disease infecting other people, but I guess she really can make people pass out if she touches them. Except for me. Which...I guess that's because we aren't alive, huh?"
Renji's face suddenly had that expression on it, like it was all dawning upon him just now how absolutely real it all actually was.
"That is so fucked up," he said, causing Byakuya to close his eyes. Outright facepalming would be an unsightly display, and that is why Mr. Kuchiki is doing it all on a mental level, instead.
Apparently Rukia was the only one without her sword and behind everyone else. It would come when she was ready. She would just have to be patient. “I guess it’s all connected to that. And connected to the fact that we all live together in Orange County. It’s a hot bed for all of this weird stuff.” She honestly didn’t think that she would have had these dreams if they had stayed in Japan. That was another thought for another time though.
“Yeah, it is.” She could agree and not say the word to give her brother a heart attack. Or an aneurysm. “Any idea what we’re supposed to do about it in the real world then?”
Indeed, it would be a very hushed affair if Byakuya had either of those things happen.
Renji was the first to open his mouth to reply, along with a sharp shrug of his shoulders, "Hell if I know. I guess I should start taking it more seriously if it's true, and practice in case something nasty shows up."
"We were sent to the world of the living to hunt Hollows and protect humans from those threats," Byakuya said in a low voice. "If people die, there are ghosts and, eventually, Hollows. We can hone any skills on the lesser of those creatures, in the meantime." He directed his gaze over to Rukia, "Rukia. If you do not have a weapon, you can still brush up on your kido. Use Renji as a test dummy."
"Wha?!"
"If I did not think you were capable of withstanding spells being cast at you in a practice scenario, I would not have volunteered you."
"...I don't know if that's a compliment or a diss," grumbled Renji, with an eyeroll. "But he's right. We're gonna have to practice somehow and it's not like shinigami have much in the way of job descriptions. Send spirits where they need to be? Kill Hollows. Don't worry. I've got this."
Reni smiled at them both, so that his molars were clearly showing. It's a miracle he still has all of them, considering he's not the most gentle of souls.
Using Renji has a punching bag was the best thing that she’d heard all day. Rukia grinned a bit. “You’re right. I should use him to practice. That sounds like fun. I promise to be gentle.” Except she wouldn’t. Not at all. “We should all practice. I mean.. just because I know the things in my dreams, who knows if it will come naturally or not.” She’d never tried up until this point. Maybe they had already.
She shook her head with a smile and stood up. “Okay. I’m going to go practice. You coming?” she nudged Renji.