InsaneJournal

"I am not dead, young Zuko. And these models are very nice."
Who: Zuko, Uncle Iroh and Kitty
What: Zuko is angry, Iroh is guidance counselory, and Kitty maybe sort of listens
When: Right after the asskicking log and a few hours before this log.
Where: Jasmine Dragon Tea House
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Note: Reposted because it was missing some parts important to Iroh's backstory.



Zuko was having a bad week. He'd been in a foul mood ever since they'd gotten in from Japan, and his hand hurt. True to his word, he'd put his hand through the wall when Mai had seemed indifferent to what had happened the night before. He just had a hard time reading her, and she always seemed so damned dead set on making it difficult for him to read her. So now? He was serving tea. He hated serving tea.

In small office attached to the tea kitchens, Iroh was contemplating something very deeply. He even had his hand on his face, in the exact kind of expression and pose that meant he was trying to think through his next move in Go, or Shogi, or any number of other strategy games he delighted in playing.

This time, however, none of those games were on his screen. As Zuko came back into the kitchens to drop off an empty tea tray, Iroh waved him over, "Zuko! I am glad that you have arrived home safely, come, sit with me and have some tea."

The sound of battle could be heard in the background.

"Are you playiing a video game, Uncle?" Zuko set the tray down, and came over. He was grateful for the break and he was grateful for a chance to think about something else than Mai, who had consumed his thoughts since they'd landed.

"Give me just a moment," Iroh waved a hand absently, then put it back on the keyboard. It sounded like some massive battle was going on. Shortly after that, he lifted one arm in the air like some victory had been won or other, and turned to his nephew to pour the tea.

"It was a very pesky demon, which I had been slain two or three times in the process of trying to smite. Luckily for me, I was able to find a tactic against it that worked. And look!" He pointed at his screen, "He dropped some remarkably good loot."

Zuko stared. His uncle had just used the word 'loot' and his world felt suddenly topsy turvy, "Why are you...you know what, nevermind. Did you like your gift?"

"Your gift was very thoughtful," Iroh smiled at Zuko and slid a teacup over to the younger man, before taking a sip out of his own, "I have to admit, matcha is a good change of pace. And the set that came with it, very authentic. You picked well."

He's descibed his Uncle's tastes, and it had been selected for him, but he wasn't going to tell Uncle about that, "You're welcome." He hoped it would shut Uncle up for awhile. That probably wouldn't be the case. Sipping at the tea, he sat there. And stewed.

Iroh watched Zuko sit there and stew with one eye, while the other tracked the movement of his monk across the computer screen. The sipping of his teacup was punctuated by the sound of demons and zombies dying in hoards. He seemed quite entertained by the game, and was waiting a bit to see if Zuko would talk about it.

Well Zuko wasn't going to talk about it. So there. He continued to stew, sipping at his tea. Why'd he even agree to that dinner? It had only ended in disaster.

He changed the subject, "How's business?"

"Business is going very well! I have managed to drum up some interest by using that network, too. Things are really starting to fall into place for us. You should be proud." Iroh smiled at him, and took a long sip of his tea, then looked down his nose at Zuko with the teacup still pressed against his lips.

Like he was taking Zuko's measure. But not in a bad way!

When the teacup landed back on his desk, he eyed Zuko, "How was your trip?"

"Yeah, I'm proud over tea. How honorable." Zuko winced, imperceptively. But probably not so much that Iroh wouldn't notice.

"It went fine. I don't even know why I was there, but it went fine."

His uncle replied, scoldingly, "There is no shame in a life filled with simple comforts and the prosperity that makes them possible. It is my hope that you will understand this someday."

But his expression hadn't changed from the smile that almost always graced it, and it was obvious that this sort of scolding between the Uncle and his Nephew had happened often enough that the Iroh at least almost thought of it as a form of teasing.

"I thought your friend Mai was there, wasn't she?"

Zuko just snorted, at the idea he'd ever understand his Uncle. His expression soured immediately at the mention of Mai, and he summed it up with one word, "Whatever."

Both eyebrows rose up, and Iroh poured himself more tea, "I see she is still being difficult to understand. I am sorry, I know that this must frustrate you greatly. Women are often very confusing, until we spend some time thinking in their shoes."

He paused, then, "... Or is that walking in their shoes?"

He shrugged at himself, then continued, "When you do that, sometimes, it helps."

"She has no passion. I asked her how it was and she said 'whatever'!"

With that, Zuko totally blurted out that 'it' had indeed happened. He smacked his palm against his face.

Iroh wasn't sure what reaction Zuko was expecting, but mainly he was proud. Well, he was proud his sonnephew was growing up, with the usual worries that went along with it. Not necessarily that he needed to worry about diseases or anything with Mai, but he certainly hoped for their sakes they were using protection.

And he absolutely had no sense of shame or other peoples' embarrassment, so he went ahead and squinted at Zuko, "I hope that the both of you were smart enough to think of a condom."

Did they use protection? Good question, there was certainly a lot of wine involved, and judging by the look on Zuko's face, he wasn't quite sure!

"Zuko..." came Iroh's very disappointed reply.

"I don't..I think we did?"

"You only think you did?" Iroh gave him a look.

"There was wine," he replied, looking a little sheepish. "It..actually didn't take much. We barely made it to the room." It shouldn't take wine to get that out of Mai. He sounded frustrated.

There was a long few seconds of silence, while Iroh poured Zuko more tea. Because he thought the boy really needed some more tea. Obviously there were responsible ways to handle this in this day and age, but it was probably too late for any of that. What? He reads those Planned Parenthood fliers and things, he's hip to the jive of these new and modern things, like Plan B.

"This is going to be a very interesting situation if you've somehow managed to get her pregnant," He finally mumbled, no holds barred, "You should have been more careful! What if she had been some random woman, who turned out to be precisely as cold as Mai pretends to be? Then you would really be in some trouble."

"I wouldn't have done anything," Zuko snapped, more harshly than intended! He really hadn't had many girlfriends in the two years since he'd last seen Mai. Two, tops. And he'd only gotten anywhere with one.

"It'll be fine. I'm pretty sure I saw a condom wrapper in the trash." It might also have been a snickers bar, he wasn't sure.

"Stop thinking about yourself for a few moments, and think about her! She will be the one stuck with your children, you know." Iroh's eyes had a twinkle in them, like he was at least half-teasing, "I cannot imagine how hard that would be for her. She would have to stop pretending to care when the estrogen kicked in."

"That's not a bad idea."

"ZUKO."

Iroh actually put his teacup down to facepalm.

The sounds of battle could be heard on his computer, and he glanced over at it to find that his hero had died, "My little woman is dead!"

"You made a woman?!" Zuko stared at Iroh like this was some form of blasphemy!

"I am not dead, young Zuko. And these models are very nice."

Zuko dropped his teacup.

"And now you're spilling the tea! It is almost so sad that you could make a grown man cry." He mock sniffled, then got something to clean it up with.

"It's just tea Uncle." Zuko got up, "I don't want to know about your internet perversions!" He all but shouted that!

Iroh let out a long sigh, "It is just a video game, Zuko. There are far worse internet perverts out there,I am sure. I have read about the lameness of 'perving over pixels', and I think I can safely say that this is not a problem you need to announce to all of our customers."

He got up and set the dropped teacup back on his tray.

"It is not just tea, either, but you are too young and impatient to understand. Perhaps if you took enough time to understand why tea is important to me, and the culture we came from, you would also understand Mai."

Feeling his eye begin to twitch, Zuko walked away. He made his way to the bathroom and splashed water on his face, "Stupid old man.."

Iroh, meanwhile, resurrected at the last spawn point.

Kitty stepped into the tea shop. She made her way to the ladies room and washed her face, staring at herself in the mirror. Cover-up might lessen the severity of the bruises but she was still going to have some splaining to do. Sighing, she walked out. Since she'd used the ladies room, she felt like she ought to order some tea.

An old man with amused eyes and a tray of tea was waiting for her. He was wearing the sort of outfit you might expect from someone who either worked here at the Tea House or owned it, which hopefully was reassuring. The tray was set out with some small cakes along with the cups and kettle, but there was also a bowl of water, a clean cloth, and a small container of some sort.

He motioned her over with his free hand, and smiled, "I hope you will not be alarmed by this, but I have been waiting for you. My staff saw you come in. Please, come with me."

He seemed friendly and not at all creepy-stalker. Maybe.

Kitty waved a hand at him, "I'm okay. I got into a fight, not a big deal. But thank you."

She looked the old man over. He seemed friendly, and generally concerned, so after another moment, she nodded her head, "All right."

"I was hoping you would give in to reason," Iroh sounded amused, and started ushering her through the Tea House. Instead of picking a booth, he lead her through a courtyard that featured a zen garden and several little areas to enjoy tea within it, then into a smaller pavilion, usually used for private Japanese tea ceremonies.


He pulled out some cushions for her to take a seat on, then set the tray down on a low table.

Kitty found herself almost at home, at least the part of her that had spend so much time with Logan, and in Japan. It had ingrained in her a respect for the culture, "Thank you."

"You are quite welcome, young lady." He took a seat, himself, then opened up the small container, which seemed to contain a fine powder. He scooped out a bit of it and swished it into the hot water bowl. It might appear like he was making tea, which was confusing since there was a kettle on the tray as well, but when he picked up the cloth and dabbed it into the water, things were a little more clear.

Without even bothering to ask how she was about personal space, he held the cloth up to the worse looking part on her face, and held it there, "It is not every day that I have a guest in my house who looks like she recently survived a fight of some kind. Here, press this against that, it will make everything feel better."

Smiling tiredly, Kitty took a seat, resting on her knees, and pressed the cloth against her face, "Thanks....Might go over better with the girlfriend if it's toned down by the time I get home."

"If she is worthy of you, I think, You will still find yourself explaining how it is your face got like that," Iroh chuckled softly to himself, and poured her some tea. It was a house blend and had a delicate scent that was hard to pick out the notes of, but was meant to set people at ease. He set the cup down in front of her, then poured himself one, "Those we love are not happy sometimes unless they are finding reasons to chide us about how reckless we are."

He smiled at Kitty, "You seem quite at home here. That is not a sentiment I get, often, with people your age."

"I'm hoping to limit the panic attack," Kitty replied, jokingly. When she smiled, it still hurt, everything too fresh, "I feel older than I am, and I've had some...." Dreams about Japan?

"I had a good mentor."

"Good mentors are as hard to find as the students who listen to them," he picked up his tea and sipped at it, thoughtfully. There was a reason she'd ended up here in his Tea House all beat up, and he was hoping to coax that reason out of her.

"I knew him in another life," Kitty replied, truthfully. "I wish I'd known him here, really."

"Then you are one of the dreamers," It was a statement, not a question. Iroh looked Kitty over appraisingly, like he was trying to read what was inside of her instead of just the stuff on the outside. He liked to look at Zuko like that, too, but his nephew often caught him at it and stomped away.

"Tell me about these dreams. And enjoy a cake, they're really quite delicious."

"They're..." Kitty frowned. She didn't like talking about some of them with people close to her, let alone a stranger. So she picked up a piece of cake and ate it, so she didn't have to answer.

Iroh looked extremely amused by this, like he'd seen this sort of behaviour before. Probably because he had, and not just from Zuko. Everyone he'd ever met under the age of 30 danced the same old dance. It was really quite entertaining. He took the time to sip at his tea, while looking at her expectantly.

She gave him an odd look, like he was an odd old man, but really, what did she have to lose? "I dream I have powers, I can walk through walls. I do a lot of heroic things, and witness a lot of bad things. Too many people I care about, die, or I push them away. I've seen what looks like my own death. I even lived a lie of a life that feels just as real as this world, or the dream world. The mentor is from that world. He taught me the culture, and the honor, and martial arts." Kitty smiled softly, "He's a gajin, even."

"Hah, that word," Iroh laughed merrily, and then set his teacup down on the tray and looked at her. The look was one of a conspirator about to mention some kind of deadly secret, "You see this Tea House? It is a traditionally Chinese house. The teas, and the setup. Run by a very old and traditional Japanese man. I brought home a chinese wife one day. You wouldn't believe how my family decided to feel about that!"

He grinned a bit at the memory of her, "She didn't care about the fact that my parents almost disowned me. I loved her culture, and she appreciated mine. Learning and respecting another way of life is the highest compliment."

"I could believe it. There's a lot of bad blood between those two countries." Kitty frowned, thinking of her own Jewish roots, and the problems in THAT part of the world, "Wish more people would realize we all bleed red."

Iroh's face crumpled a bit, and he nodded in agreement, "It seems to me that people often forget that even the person next to them bleeds red, until they see it for themselves. The world is a very harsh place, but warmongering and hatred just causes more problems for everyone."

He refilled her teacup, "Your mentor sounds like a good man. I would have cherished the chance to meet him, myself."

So would Kitty. But she didn't have that opportunity, at least at the moment. She didn't even know if he was out there, "Yeah. One of the best."

Kitty sipped at her tea, thoughtfully, "This is a nice place."

He smiled, "Thank you! I am very happy with how it turned out."

"I'm Kitty." She bowed her head to him, the tea in her hands not letting her really be able to shake his hand. A short bow would work in the meantime.

She honored him with the bow, and he bowed in return, "I am Iroh. You may also call me 'crazy old man', which my niece and nephew seem to prefer. Or simply Uncle. It is an honor to meet you, Kitty."

"The honor is mine." Her face didn't hurt so bad. Maybe the swelling had gone down. She certainly felt a little peaceful even if she figured it couldn't last.

He motioned to the cloth on her face, "Lets have a look at your face, then."

Gingerly, Kitty pulled the cloth away from her face, and quipped, "Tell me I'm still pretty."

"Young lady, I could discuss your beauty for hours, but I hear that is disconcerting in a man of my age." He smiled, and gently poked a few places on her face, "I think you will find your face is less stiff, and less purple."

"I like them older." She grinned cheekily, then winced, as the grin hurt quite a bit, "I don't know how to really thank you."

The older man wisely kept his tongue on the matter, but his eyes were laughing, and it was obvious. At the mention of thanking him, he merely waved a hand, "I was simply happy to be of some assistance. Perhaps as a thank you, you could come visit again."

"Yeah, I will." Maybe she could inject some culture into the little terrors she lived with. The romantic aspects weren't lost on her, though the thought brought an odd pain into her chest. Feelings were still too raw from her dream, "But I should get going."

"I hope that you will drive safely, and that your woman does not scold you overly much."

Kitty smiled, getting to her feet. She bowed to him again, and then took her leave.