Nicholas D. Wolfwood (wolfwood) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-12-20 14:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, bella donna boudreaux, nicholas d. wolfwood |
Who: Nicholas D. Wolfwood and Bella Donna Boudreaux
What: Discussing dreams
When: 12/17 or so
Where: Their apartment
Rating/Warning: PG/language
Status: Complete
Things were more than usually crazy at Frost Enterprises this time of year. Winston was in good spirits, and everyone seemed cheerful, which was the only way it was remotely tolerable. She’d spent more than her fair share of time chasing Emma’s daughter around. The little girl was as feisty as they came, and she could run like a rabbit.
So Belle tended to sleep well when she got home. It helped that she had someone to share her bed with. Somehow the craziness was more tolerable with company.
Wolfwood had felt the crazy, too, but he was usually okay with it. Last night, though, he’d had more dreams. It had been difficult to get back to sleep afterward, so he’d managed on four hours. At least he was home now, and hopefully going to get into a case of beer. At least he’d be back on Belle’s schedule starting Monday. “Belle?” he called. “You home?”
Belle startled a little. She’d been napping after an especially long day of work. She rubbed her eyes and padded out to the hallway. She greeted Wolfwood with a yawn and a hug. “Mmmmm, you smell good.” She purred into his ear. “I got dinner ready to go, let me just heat it up for us.” She rubbed her eyes and sauntered into the kitchen, stretching as she went.
Well, that did wonders for his mood right away. Wolfwood smiled, watching her. “Thank you,” he said, catching her arm briefly and kissing her hand. “Today sucked. Glad to get home to you.” He hoped he didn’t look as tired and shitty as he felt.
She didn’t notice how tired he looked until he kissed her hand. Her expression shifted toward one of concern, but she didn’t say anything about it until she had dinner reheating. “You look it. Want somethin’ to drink while you wait for dinner?” He’d talk about it in his own time, or she’d prod at him a little after dinner. Either way was fine with her. If it was serious he’d have said something already.
“That would be awesome. Thanks.” Wolfwood gave her a tired smile. “It wasn’t anything earth-shaking. Those functions next week have us stretched thin. And I dreamed last night.” They hadn’t been truly terrible dreams, but none of his dreams were ever fun.
She stiffened at the mention of his dreams. From what she’d gathered his were as bad as hers, and she hated her dreams. She pulled out a bottle of whiskey and dug around for syrup and a lemon. “Whiskey sour okay, or you want your usual rum and whatever?”
“Whiskey sour’s fine for now. Thanks.” One stiff belt might actually help. “I promise, Belle, don’t look so terrified. My dreams suck, but as they go, it could have been worse.”
Belle laughed, ducking her head until she had better control of her expression. “Sorry, cheri. I just remembered some of my bad dreams and- well I hate that I can’t fix them for you, or make our dream selves as smart as we are.” She mixed the drinks, handing one over to him and sipping her own. “You wanna talk about it? I haven’t heard much about yours since you met that guy Wash.”
“Vash,” Wolfwood corrected, taking his drink with a thank you. “Not much concrete has happened since then. We’ve saved some people, he and I. Helped people out with money. We actually have done a lot of good. But then there’s like a cloud hanging over our heads. A lot of talk about death, good and evil, that kind of stuff.”
Belle nodded, and apologized for getting the name wrong. “I’m glad t’ hear that. I was afraid you’d be nothin’ but a killer in yours.” Like she was in hers. “In a world like that death’s always close and you can’t stay away from the big topics for too long. This one wasn’t more of the same, I take it.”
“Oh, I actually seem to have a good heart. My dream self doesn’t want to kill people unless he’s been contracted to. He just ...” Wolfwood searched for words. “He’s a pessimist.” And probably for good reason, given the other dreams, but still.
Belle smiled softly. “See, you’re good in any universe,” She said, wiggling up onto the counter so she’d be eye to eye with him. “So these new dreams weren’t as good, right? What happened?”
“More Gung-Ho Guns is what happened.” Wolfwood smiled a little, entirely unable to resist kissing her gently, despite the seriousness of the conversation. “A little kid. A boy, maybe twelve? I don’t know if he was possessed, or what. But the dream cut off right as I drew my gun and fired at him.” There could be no reason to kill a child. It just ... it rankled. Badly.
She returned his kiss, taking a drink while he told her what he’d dreamed. She didn’t bother trying to hide it when she winced at the dream. “I’m so sorry, cheri. Why didja kill him? You must have had a reason.” She didn’t know what reason, exactly, but it was hard to think of her lover hurting a child on purpose.
“I don’t know. I remember the boy was kind of ... troubled. The rumor was something about him controlling bugs? Like, having a bunch of bugs at his command? It’s hazy.” Wolfwood looked troubled. “I hope I get more information when I dream again.” And it would be when, not if.
She nodded, wrapping an arm around his waist. “No wonder you had a rough day.” She said softly. She wished she could make the dreams go away for both of them. Nobody deserved to be haunted by their misdeeds in some other world.
“It just started to piss me off by the end.” He pulled her close gently, leaning so she didn’t fall off the counter. “I know it’s not real. I’m not a killer - shit, I don’t think I ever killed anyone in the sandbox who was under eighteen. At least, I don’t remember any who looked it.” And he would have. It would have haunted him.
She nodded, rubbing his shoulders. “I know. I couldn’t imagine you hurting a kid. You’re too kind and loving. That’s what makes it hurt so. If you were a real killer you’d think nothin’ of it. I’d bet you Merle wouldn’t lose one moment of sleep over it.” She wondered sometimes if she would. In the dreams she knew she could kill anyone. In the real world it had never been put to the test. Any children she’d come up against were zombies, and those didn’t count.
“That guy is a sawed-off psycho, though.” Wolfwood shook his head. He’d only seen the guy around, but he knew the type.
Belle nodded. “Yeah, no shit.” She shook her head. “Better to keep an eye on him than let him run around wherever he pleases.” Winston knew enough to keep him where he could do relatively little damage. “But the point is that what you did in the dream don’t define you here, and from the sound of things It probably didn’t sit too well with you there, either.”
“I don’t think so.” Wolfwood shook his head as well, taking another belt of the whisky sour. “I’ll just have to wait and see what happens, I think. It worries me, but I mean, what else can I do?”
“Not a damn thing.” Belle said with a frown, her tone extremely bitter. “Just sit and watch yourself do horrible things to people and hope it don’t happen again anytime soon.”
“Uh-oh.” It was her turn. “Sounds personal.”
Belle realized she’d talked herself into a corner, and sighed, taking another drink of her whiskey. He’d probably let her off the hook if she asked, but he’d shared, so it was only fair if she do the same. “Just. . . dream me is an unending well of spite and does nothin’ but kill people and make her own problems. Last dream was about a month ago, maybe. Got engaged to this guy, but he was trying to use that to take over the guild with a bunch of folks loyal to him. So I find out about it, and I round him and the people loyal to him up, put ‘em in the trailer of a semi-truck, drive out t’ the middle of a desert in Mexico and leave. They’re locked in, and maybe the cops got called, but it’s Mexico so odds ain’t good they showed up.” She drained her glass and slid off the counter as the food finished heating and the timer went off.
Wolfwood grimaced. “That’s ... a lot of anger. Doesn’t even sound like spite, just being plain old angry and lashing out.” He didn’t like to hear about it, obviously, but it did make him wonder what had happened to her dream self. Something had to have started it all, obviously.
“Yeah. She’s got anger issues about her anger issues.” Belle made a face. “Grab some plates, please?” She asked over her shoulder as she took the food out to the table. “Honestly every dream is just one more example of how fucked up her worldview is. I never tolja what happened after that amnesia thing, did I?” She knew she hadn’t, and she’d neglected it on purpose. All her dreams were bad, but how she’d treated Rogue was probably the worst thing she’d done. Sure the truck thing had killed a bunch of people, but they were all assassins and assholes. Killing a helpless innocent was a whole other thing entirely.
“No. I didn’t know anything happened after it.” Wolfwood raised an eyebrow. He took the plates down, setting out two and waiting for her. “What do you mean, Belle?”
She took her seat and pulled the foil off of the casserole she’d made. It was cold, so she’d wanted some comfort food. “Well, I decided that someone had caused the amnesia, and that I’d punish her. I don’t know if that was actually right or not. I mean. . . she could have caused it, but I was in a coma so it could have been that, too. I studied her, and found out she’d put her first boyfriend and childhood best friend in a coma with her powers. So I. . . well I stole him, and told her to come fight me for him. He died because of it, I didn’t give him the proper care he needed, and I didn’t care if he lived or not, as long as I got to kill Rogue. Which didn’t even happen, anyway.” She shook her head, stabbing the serving spoon into the casserole, her expression showing her anger and annoyance at the dreams and her dream self. “How could I be like that in some other universe? That’s what the goin’ theory is, but what the everlivin’ fuck could do that to a person?” It couldn’t just be her training, or the fact that her brother had taken advantage of her. Those wouldn’t automatically make her a bad person.
Wolfwood’s face betrayed more sorrow than anything. “Oh, shit.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what might have happened to you there. But you’re a different person here. I know so. I’ve seen it.” Neither of them were cold-blooded killers. Neither of them enjoyed torturing people in any way. The mere fact that her dreams pained Belle so considerably spoke to how different she was. “I can’t fix it, obviously, but I can tell you that as far as this life goes, I don’t care why you were how you were. You’re not that here, and I love you.”
“I know.” She said softly, resting her head in her hand. “I love you too. The dreams don’t mean shit. I just wish they’d go away.” She shook the thought loose and began serving dinner. “Hopefully you’ll get at least a few nice ones.”
“I hope you do too.” He smiled a little at her. “I definitely understand the wanting them to go away part. I honestly don’t think I know anybody who doesn’t. But they’re dreams. Not reality. If you start getting jealous and paranoid and shit, then I’ll know why. If I start getting religious, you know why.” Please God neither of those things ever happened, but still.
She did her best to let her bad mood go. “What? Seein’ how happy bein’ a good Christian lady’s made me doesn’t make you wanna go t’ church?” She teased.
“Not by a long shot.” Wolfwood laughed, picking up his fork. “No, I respect that it’s helped you, but I was never raised in a church, and now it just feels weird.”
She laughed, glad they were on a much less controversial topic. “That’s fair. Don’t bother me none at all.” Sure there was that whole worrying about his immortal soul business, but Belle had no idea if she’d make it to paradise when she died, so if she didn’t at least she’d have company in Hell. “I can’t wait t’ go to Canada. I’ve never been so far north before. A lady on the network’s gonna let me use her coat.”
“I’m excited. And I still have one of my heavy fatigue coats, if worse comes to worse. I’m not above getting military discounts.” He winked, though he’d never exploit it if they were for active duty members only. “I hope it isn’t all sappy to say I’m looking forward to getting away with you.”
“I don’t think it’s sappy.” She said with a smile. “I can’t wait either. We’ve been so busy recently, and we’re busy folks in general. A week spent running around in the cold and warmin’ each other up after sounds like heaven to me.” She grinned at him and started to eat, her mood completely recuperated. He has that effect on her, and she was glad of it.
“Agreed.” Wolfwood smiled right back. “I even finished Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve this year because I knew we were going away. It’s a miracle.”
Belle blinked for a moment, then facepalmed. “Knew I was forgettin’ something’.” She laughed at herself. “Welp, guess I know what I’m doing’ on my lunch break tomorrow.”
Wolfwood laughed. “Aw. I feel loved.” But he was teasing; he usually forgot til the last minute anyway. This year he’d done it right; he’d gotten her a nice necklace with an infinity symbol on it - he’d liked the imagery - and a soldier’s present, a beautiful new .38 in a smooth leather case. He’d oiled the grips himself.
“You are. It’s just ‘cause I’m outta practice.” She said with a grin. “You got anything specific you want, or should I wing it?” She’d get him something he asked for and something she thought he’d like, just to cover her ass. She didn’t have a ten page dossier on his preferences, so she wasn’t sure she’d get him a good gift.
“You’ll laugh, but ... I don’t know. Civilian stuff.” Wolfwood shrugged. “Does that make sense? Just, I haven’t been one long. I don’t have things like hobbies. It’s been work, work, work, sleep for so long.” He shook his head. “I’d love to do something like work on a classic car, or I don’t know, start traveling. Stuff civilian guys do.”
Belle chuckled a little. “I get it. I really do. So you want a car or a trip t’ someplace more exotic than Canada?” She was teasing a little, but she would find a way to give him what he wanted, no matter the cost.
“Start with like, a book.” Wolfwood chuckled. “Or a miniature or something. Documentaries or travel shows on DVD would be awesome - then I can see places I might want to go someday.”
“Ooh,” Belle said, grinning brightly. That gave her plenty of options without ruining the surprise. “Perfect! That’s not a bad way for me t’ find something to do too.”
“Makes sense. I think of everything.” Wolfwood joked, smiling over at her. He liked it when she was happier.
Belle laughed. “You are very smart, cheri.” She cleaned her plate off with her fork and got up, offering to take Wolfwood’s plate. “Want another drink?”
“One more, yeah. Thanks.” Wolfwood smiled at her. “I know this will sound weird, but do you dream more or less when I’m next to you?” Sometimes they slept at different times, due to work.
“I feel like they repeat more when you’re away.” Belle said, as she put the dishes in the sink and began refreshing their drinks. “But it could be that wakin’ up next to you makes me forget about the dreams. Which is fine with me. Don’t seem t’ affect the new ones either way.”
“Just curious. I didn’t know if company had any effect. It doesn’t seem to on mine, but yours could always be different.” Wolfwood got up, kissing her neck as he came up behind her. “Long as you can manage. I know you’re a big girl, but I do worry.”
She sighed softly when he kissed her, then turned a little so she could kiss him. “I can. You’re a big help. Even if I have bad dreams my time awake is good enough that I don’t mind. I’d take a hundred dreams t’ be able to stay with you.” She finished the drinks and turned to hand his over, smiling up at him.
“I can say the same, you know.” Wolfwood kissed her once more before taking his drink, smiling. “C’mon. Drink. Then maybe we can lie in that awesome new bed and watch TV or talk or something.” Something, if she was feeling up to it.
Belle smirked at him. “I think that’s an excellent plan. I’m sure we’ll find something to amuse ourselves with.” She slipped her hand in his, sipping her whiskey as she led him back to the bedroom. the dishes could wait a little bit.