Staying still was an impossibility for Loras, any confident languor disappeared in favor of a twitchiness that manifested in his fingertips and knees. The blink of his all at once pained blue eyes emphasized the hurt that flooded him as Renly pushed him away. Numbness found his fingertips, emptiness rushed to his stomach and legs until he feared they'd buckle underneath him.
What was he to expect? That Renly would instantly love him? That Renly would even remember? Renly was who Loras knew he was. Obi-Wan was living here, but he was displaced, just like Loras. But what if Loras was just mad, hit over the head one too many times by his opponents over the years? The emptiness in his stomach became a wave of nausea. He rode it out, stepping away from Renly. It was an altogether cold feeling, like a line between them had been severed.
Not wanting to hear anything else, Loras took in a breath and turned. He moved swiftly, back into the restaurant, somehow managing to compose himself long enough not to draw any attention. He paid his own ticket as well as Renly's, then left to his car. He slid behind the wheel, started the engine, shifted into reverse, then abruptly put on the clutch and break. He leaned forward, catching his forehead to the steering wheel and sobbed on his own, hating himself for it. He wanted desperately to hate Renly, but he couldn't do it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to ever hate Renly. He allowed himself only a few seconds of that sort of nonsense before he wiped angrily at his face, then sped off toward home.