“It’s a little different, making choices for eternity, and how you will spend all that time, not just a normal lifespan,” Damon said. His voice held that same dark, seductive tone that it took when his confidence was there front and center. “I don’t know if it’s actually obedience that you want to give, or the fact that you want to be consumed. You want something so powerful, so damn seductive that you have no choice but to give into it, because anything else leaves you feeling deflated -- figuratively and literally.” The smirk remained on his lips.
“That’s what I want. I have been in control of everything I’ve ever wanted. I want something more. I want that inferno. I want to be burned by it. I want something I can’t walk away from.” He was close to that. He knew that he was. The dreams interfered with that, making the picture a little bit different. He would be a vampire, an immortal by most standards. He had an eternity. He still wanted that though, something he absolutely had to have. “If I have that, then they will have me for as long as time will allow.” It was simple and complicated, and completely intoxicating.
Samandriel bit his lower lip, trying hard not to think about exactly how much that turned him on. “Emotional fidelity is far more important than physical fidelity,” he said softly. “And even then, the understanding that love is not a finite resource goes a very long way.” He was blushing darkly, though, very obviously finding himself in the far too interested place they had been in Italy.
“Yes, that’s what I want, and in many ways, that’s what I have, but he doesn’t exert his power like I’d like him to.” He found himself looking at Damon’s lips for a moment that lasted all too long. The vampire wasn’t the only one who was far too tempted. “And that has to be fine,” he said softly, “because his tastes don’t go nearly as far as mine, I’m thankful that I’m not nor will I ever be bound to physical fidelity. I want to love and I want to serve, to obey and every so often, to defy. Because I can.” Finally, he looked away from that mouth and back at his own shoe up on the railing.
“I don’t know, perhaps it is for a man, but there are those that find them too intertwined. The physical leads to the emotional.” He smiled a little bit more, “But since love is not finite, that makes the first statement a little contradictory, as it refers to having room for more than one.”
“Defiance is an art.” Damon still had that confidence, finding this conversation a bit easier. The intensity was something he liked. He was no longer off guard. He was still speaking truths, but they were coming easier. “You are asking for both things, without particularly settling on one. You want to be obedient, but yet you have a choice. You want to do what you want, and yet be I imagine you like to give that control to another, to command you, whether that means putting you on your knees, or in chains. Hey, there is nothing wrong with kinky, by any stretch.” He laughed a little, looking over at the angel. “We’re all still figuring it out. I don’t think anyone ever figures everything out perfectly. Changing it up is also a lot of fun.”
“There are many different kinds of love,” Samandriel pointed out, “cultures have known that going back hundreds of thousands of years. You can still be emotionally faithful while loving someone else.” He slid off of the rail and walked back into the room he’d broken them into, flopping down on the far too comfortable couch. “Obedience should always come with a choice. In situations like that, the person giving the orders has only the power that the person receiving them gives. But when it comes to defiance well...the punishment can be just as interesting.” Staring up at the ceiling was much easier than looking at Damon.
“For someone who was tortured and killed in the dreams and just plain tortured in this life I’m not sure I should like the idea of these things as much as I do.” Maybe it had something to do with reclaiming what had been done to him, and turning it into something positive. That couldn’t have really been it, since it was something he’d known he wanted even before he’d started dreaming.