Marian Hawke | Dragon Age (shovekirkwall) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-11-24 12:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, marian hawke, sebastian vael |
Who: Sebastien Vael, Marian Hawke
What: Dream friends catch up in real life, etc.
When: Recently!
Where: Baxter Bakery
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 and Dragon Age 2 Spoilers, kind of.
Status: Complete!
Mr. Vael was a particularly busy man, and Marian couldn't say that she minded. Her own schedule had picked up a bit since she'd done some advertising, and she'd been pulling long surveillance shifts. Coupled with magic training and long bouts of research, it was a small wonder she had a budding romance going at all. Let alone a meeting to talk about the dreams.
But it was important, and Hawke wanted to have links with all of her dream friends. So she'd finally settled an appointment with him and gone down to Baxter Bakery to meet him.
Sebastian had needed a breather, in between the Halloween-related craziness and his own schedule, and his dreams. He still wasn’t over the dream yet, but he knew he had to keep moving, lest he go stark raving mad. That look was only good on Tony.
He’d decided to come early, so he could sit and appraise the place. It was nice, if a little odd - sparkling anything was a little strange - so he got comfortable and waited.
As odd as sparkling iced lattes might be, Marian still ordered herself a gigantic one with hazelnut in it before spotting Sebastian and waving her hand at him.
She waited to approach him until she'd paid and picked her treat up, which gave her a chance to take a nice, fortifying sip of coffee. Depending on what he needed to talk about, this was either going to be a fascinating conversation or a dreadful one.
"Hello, Sebastian? Or should I stay formal and call you Mr. Vael?"
Sebastian rose, figuring it was only polite. “Sebastian is fine, though I’ll stick with Hawke, if you don’t mind. It’s what I’m used to. It’s nice to finally meet you here.” She looked exactly the same between here and the dreams - pretty, but competent. Nobody would ever mistake Marian Hawke for a fool.
Marian held her free hand out to take Sebastian's, shaking it firmly, and grinning at him, "Oh no, by all means. Call me Hawke, I feel like by the time I'm done dreaming I'm going to be so used to it that when people call me Marian I'll wonder who they're addressing."
She let his hand go and took a seat, "You're looking well. The very picture of a somewhat misguided prince. Ish."
“Is that what I come off as.” He was more amused than anything. “I suppose I’ll take that. Some of my dreams, I’ve come off as more prince than brother, and others, vice versa.”
"Well, bearing in mind I've really only begun to get to know you in the dream world. The grand cleric didn't really seem to like your chanter's board request, though I admired your ability to pin it right back on there with an arrow like that."
She grinned, "You were still seeking justice for your family, it's hard to quite fit you into the category of 'brother' in my mind. I might manage it further into the story."
Sebastian smiled a little. “I’ve dreamt of that. With Elthina, I mean. It just never made sense to me that I had to ostensibly turn my back on family honor in order to uphold my vows as a Chantry brother.”
"You said you'd left the Chantry in the dreams, too, but it seems to me like that's a decision that never really sunk in for you." Marian pondered that while taking another sip of her latte.
"Is it possible to be a Prince and still be a Chantry brother? But can you really ever take the Chantry brother out of the prince, either? Devotion to the Maker is a big deal for you. I saw that easily enough, but we've only really spoken once. I think sometimes the Chantry gets a little too rigid about faith, honestly. Seeking justice isn't the same as cold-blooded murder. I don't really think you did anything he'd smite you over, anyway."
Sebastian had to smile. “I left the Chantry, then Elthina persuaded me to come back, and then my family died. I waffled a bit.” He shook his head. “I’m not quite as religious here ... I don’t know why, to be honest. I just know I’m not. I lost my mum a few years back, and that was the last time I think I went to mass.”
The news was met with a bit of a sympathetic look from Marian, who then nodded her head, "I... understand losing family. Mother's only been gone... A little over a year now. In the dreams, it was Father, then Bethy. Thankfully both of them are still alive in England right now. But I've never quite been one for faith, even before I started dreaming that the faithful were likely to chase me with pitchforks."
Sebastian nodded. “My sympathies on your mum,” he said. “And I’ve seen, in the dreams, what happens to mages. There was a lot of hatred and fear - I tried to be above all that, but I must admit that a major event in my life changed my view. I’m ashamed to admit that I grew suspicious.”
"Well, I can't really blame you for that. I've seen enough about Mages - especially in Kirkwall - to know that nothing really surprises me anymore and the worries about them are sadly more often true than not." She sighed a bit, not really happy to admit that. It was hard, especially for another mage to witness. An apostate mage, no less.
"... Did it bother you, what I was?" she found herself asking.
“No,” Sebastian replied, almost immediately. “I had no issue with it, because I got to know you, and even if I had any issue with mages and their power, it was different. They were mages; you were Hawke. That’s a horrid rationale, but it’s how I felt.” At least up until the end, but he didn’t want to tell her about that if she hadn’t dreamed it yet.
"It might be a horrid rationale, but it's the going one, anyway." Hawke replied, with a bit of a chuckle, "Everyone seems to think it's okay as long as its me. But so far, I also don't recall going insane and turning to the methods we all find so distasteful, either. The best way to show people mages can exist safely and peacefully outside the Chantry is to do it right, I suppose. It's something father ingrained in us."
She tilted her head to the side a bit, remembering he'd brought up Anders, "So, what did you want to tell me about our former Grey Warden apostate friend? He seems rather angst-ridden and depressed, don't you think?"
“Depressed was never quite the word I was going for.” Sebastian sighed. “I don’t want to tell you everything I’ve dreamt, if only because I don’t know if you’ll dream it. But let’s just leave it that he ... he does something which is the reason my view on mages changes.” He looked down. “He hurt me very badly. But what I can tell you is that I made you choose between him and me.”
"You made me choose between--" Marian squinted a bit. Sebastian obviously played a bigger role than she thought. It seemed like her own dreams were leagues behind everyone else's, "Well, I suppose I'm glad that I was right for once. There really is a lot more left to this story than I've dreamt so far."
Then she scrunched her nose up, "But those circumstances sound very unpleasant. I can already guess at some of the things that might have happened to make you change your mind, especially if Anders was involved."
She'd had more dreams about him since the time Sebastian had contacted her, "I know he's got a spirit inside of him, for instance. And that he has a certain... opinion about the way mages are treated."
“And let me be clear: mages are treated abominably.” Sebastian shook his head. “But at the same time, it’s hard to imagine an alternative. I know that most would be thrilled to have no control at all, and yet the idea of demons randomly being able to use weaker mages as conduits to that world is ... intimidating. Anders, at least in my dreams, rants about how mages deserve to be free, and maybe they do - but I can’t imagine it. I’m sorry, Hawke.”
"Yet everyone was alright with the idea that I was roaming free," Hawke pointed out, gently. Obviously whatever had happened had been very bad. She could tell it was bad, though it was clear he wasn't going to tell her exactly what had happened.
"There's no one good way to handle it, I think. And so many of the weaker mages turn to that kind of thing to win their freedom. Which is ironic, because that kind of thing is exactly the reason so many feel we shouldn't be free at all. I never had the desperation of the circle mages, which I feel is why I never felt the need to make desperate choices. I'm not sure Anders will accomplish anything at all with the tack he's taking, either, though."
Marian sighed, "I understand why you feel that way, if it's any consolation. And I don't know what way would be better. The circle doesn't work, but that doesn't mean there's another solution."
“I agree, on all counts.” Sebastian looked over at her. “Desperation leads to recklessness, which leads to ruin, which only leads to further repression. And I want to keep being clear that I understand at least some of why mages feel compelled to be desperate. That’s not a life for any living creature, being shut up in a cage. And yet, imagine the outcry. Have you dreamt of the Tevinter Imperium?”
"I've dreamt some knowledge of it. I know an elf recently joined my company who was from there, and that he had a magister for a master who did terrible things to him. He's actually kind of adorable, but I imagine my dream self is aware that if she said that to him he'd cut her for it," Marian joked. Her dream self had been instantly attracted to him, which was probably like trying to mix oil and water.
"His view on mages seems... understandably skewed. And I don't think anyone wants another Imperium, either. I certainly don't. Keeping up a sense of self-importance like that would be extremely exhausting."
Sebastian laughed. “I’m with you there, lass. And I’m also probably biased, of course ... just, I don’t know. It’s very tiring to be so angry all the time, as Anders is.”
"Equally exhausting, I think. Especially with a spirit of vengeance or whatever riding copilot like that." Marian nodded.
"... So I take it I should be on the lookout in my dream world then for something horrible and shocking to happen that you're not going to tell me about?"
“Unfortunately. Yes.” Sebastian had the grace to look embarrassed. “I just don’t want to tell you what happened and then have your dreams be different. It would color your perception of both Anders and me.”
"Have the dreams often been different from one of us to the other? I know there's a Merrill here, and she won't tell me anything either."
Marian wondered how possible it was that they were all dreaming similar things but with separate outcomes. Every situation had multiple choices, she supposed, and there were ways that even her life in the dreams so far could have played out differently. She arched a brow at that, "Well. I suppose there's always several different versions and sides of a story. Fair enough."
“That’s exactly my opinion. I just ... I wanted to warn you to expect upheaval, but not enough to color your perception.” Sebastian smiled ruefully. “I hope that isn’t too maddening. You seem like the Hawke in my dreams in that you’re very intelligent, and you have more than enough brains to make your own choices instead of me telling you what to do.”
"I certainly hope I'm intelligent. It feels like me and the people I surround myself with are some of the few intelligent people in the entirety of Kirkwall sometimes."
After a pause, and a bit of a rueful smile, she corrected herself. "Most of the time."
"But... the only thing I can do is watch the events unfold. You can't really tell me what to do any more than I can tell my dream self what to do. Which is the worst of it all, I suppose. I don't know as we can even punish an Anders, here, if we come across one. Keep a watchful eye on him, I suppose, but can we punish a man, here, for what he's done in another life?"
“No, of course we can’t.” Sebastian shook his head. “I suppose you’ve got a point. Just ... I don’t know. If I say that the whole of Kirkwall broke away and fell into the sea, and it doesn’t in your dreams, it opens up a whole new host of questions. That isn’t what happened in mine, incidentally.”
"Oh... I guess there's that, too. But I suppose so far things line up well enough. I'm a mage in your dreams, too, for instance." Marian raised both of her eyebrows at the mention of Kirkwall falling into the sea, then dashed her hand in the air, "Damn. That's a shame, it really deserves it I think. Imagine all of the problems that would be solved."
“True. I suppose we’ll just see what happens?” Sebastian shrugged. “I shouldn’t keep you, though. I’m sure you’re busy. Just ... thanks for agreeing to meet me at all, really. I’m sure I sounded mad.” He smiled a little. “I shudder to think if you hadn’t had any dreams - I’m sure I’d be in Rita Skeeter’s next column painted as some kind of madman who flirts with Orange County eligible ladies.”
Marian snorted, then got to her feet. "All that woman writes is rubbish, anyway. I wouldn't set too much stock in anything she printed. And I'm glad that I took the time. Don't be a stranger, Mr. Vael."
“I won’t, Hawke.” Sebastian smiled, offering a hand. “Be safe.” He wasn’t sure if anything he said would make it easier on Hawke, but at least he’d tried. He’d felt like he had to.