Who: David Nolan and Jean Gray Where: her office What: a psychiatric session When: during the truth plot Warnings/Rating: PG at worst Status complete
Jean checked her tape recorder and made sure she had a fresh legal pad for David’s appointment. She’d helped people with amnesia in the VA hospital, but she’d never taken on a case by herself. She was excited at the prospect, and hoped she could do him some good.
She sat in her office and fidgetted with her phone, wondering if she could get in a whole round of her game before he arrived. She hoped he wouldn’t have trouble finding the office.
The office itself was fairly modern, and a young woman was working as the receptionist. The color palate was cool pastels, with flashes of gold as an accent. Her personal office was much the same, even her furniture was light colored wood with soft blue and purple upholstery.
Jean herself was wearing a blazer and matching pants in a blue that brought out her eyes, along with a light grey blouse. She wanted to look professional but approachable.
David found the place easily enough (GPS was a godsend). He arrived early, like he did practically everywhere he went in case he somehow got lost along the way, and sat in his truck a few moments as he steeled himself. There was something of a moral dilemma playing in his head, like he was going behind the back of his current doctor, but there couldn’t be anything wrong in it. Right? Right.
Making sure to grab the notebook that held all of his dreams scribbled down inside, he headed inside and was shown to Jean’s office door by the receptionist, who promptly announced his arrival. All he could really do was smile gratefully as he held out his hand.
“Hi. It’s good to meet you.”
Jean smiled brightly at him and shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you as well, Mr. Nolan.” She moved aside, holding the door so he could come in. “Please make yourself comfortable. I like to get to know my patients a little at the beginning, get a feel for where you are and what you need. It’s supposed to be standard procedure, but too often my colleagues skip this step. I hope it’s nothing new to you.” She smiled the whole time and took a seat next to her tape recorder. She sat on the side of the desk closest to him, rather than behind it. She would make all her computerized notes after the session, right now watching how he moved and expressed himself physically was most important.
“It’s silly to ask, in your situation, but can you begin at the beginning of your story and tell me what’s bothering you most?”
He liked her already. Of course, it was hard to not like a woman who was pretty and kind, but she had a way about her that put him at ease quickly. When he sat down, David didn’t sit all the way back in the chair, but instead leaned forward a bit with his hands folded in his lap. At her words, he couldn’t help but laugh.
“You mean, what’s bothering me besides not being able to remember things a few moments after they happen?”
She laughed as well. It was a silly question, to be sure. “Well, yes. Is there anything that’s bothering you beside that?” Sometimes the extended symptoms of a problem could be very enlightening. They’d proven so with most of her clients.
David grinned a bit before shrugging, rubbing his thumbs together despite his clasped hands. “Sometimes nothing, sometimes it feels like everything. Lately I guess it’s these dreams? I know they’re pretty common here, and maybe it’s just my condition or maybe I’m just hesitant to look too much into them, but it’s hard to reconcile. It’s almost like I dream about myself living this other life, and then dream about that self living another life.”
“It must be confusing. Which would only exacerbate the confusion and probable irritation you’re feeling about your condition.” Her voice was kind and soft. She made a note about the dreams on her pad, but never looked away longer than a second.
To be fair, David found most things confusing these days, but he just nodded and kept going. “It’s sort of like … You know when you’re watching a show on tv, and you know something that the characters don’t? And you just want to grab them and tell them to focus, but you know you need to watch them stumble through. That’s what it feels like. I’m watching myself be an idiot and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I just need to let it happen.”
“That sounds really difficult.” It washed with what she knew of the dreams so far. Some people idolized their dream selves, and strove to be like them. Others wished they could change their dreams, make their other selves act differently. It seemed like most wished they would go away. “You said the dreams seem to hang around a little longer than normal memories?”
“Yeah. I don’t know why? Apart from like I said, sometimes they repeat.” David shifted. It was more he’d said about anything than he ever did with the other doctor. “I’m starting to think maybe it’s because there are people I know here, when I’m awake, that I’m connected to in the dreams? And I can’t figure out if I’m just dreaming about them because I know them or because … Well. What other reason is there?” Not that the OC was known for making sense.
Jean tapped her pencil on her pad. “What other reason indeed?” She said it quietly. “Let’s focus on this world, for now. What is your last real memory?”
“Uh …” David paused, looking thoughtful. It was a harder question that it sounded when she’d first asked. “I guess … Disneyland? I went last week, for the first time, and everything stands out pretty well still. Before that maybe a while ago? When I was packing up my apartment in Manhattan after deciding to look for help outside of New York.”
“So you have made some new memories, then.” Jean said, smiling brightly again. This wasn’t as bad as it appeared at first glance.
It was funny, now that David thought about it. He did seem to be getting a bit better at remembering things, but he’d had times where he thought he was doing all right before and then things got bad. Still, maybe he could attribute it to the sessions, or the change of scenery.
“Some things still get jostled. Beyond the little things of forgetting where I put my shoes or my keys. The other day I got lost driving to work, even though I take the same route every day.”
Jean nodded and made notes. “Of course. Where do you work?” People with his condition often had trouble holding down jobs. It was good that he had some kind of employment.
“At the SPCA. In Huntington Beach?” David glanced up at Jean, unsure of if she had any idea where that was. “It’s close enough to home, and it’s an easy job all things considered. I just sit there and I copy information down from paper to computer, and then other days I’ll just help out the volunteers. It’s not glamorous, but I’ll take what I can get.”
She nodded. She knew where Huntington Beach was. “It doesn’t sound like a terrible job. A little boring, maybe, if you don’t get to take care of the animals much.” She frowned a little. It wasn’t good manners to suggest his job might be boring. “Please excuse that, I hope it’s not a boring job for you.”
“It’s all right. It is a bit boring,” he admitted, which he normally wouldn’t have done but this truth thing was really having a go at him. “I mean, my whole life all I’ve wanted to do is law enforcement. I was on a pretty good track toward it, too, until all this started. I guess everything seems boring after that.”
“I’d imagine so.” Jean said, sympathetically. “Is that how you were injured?” Normally this kind of amnesia was associated with an injury, and even if it had psychological reasons rather than physiological she felt the term still applied.
“I wasn’t. Injured, I mean.” David gave her a bit of a smile, then held out his hands and shrugged. “I suppose that’s why I can’t really find any one person who can figure out what’s going on. I’m not a typical case, I’ve been told.”
Jean nodded and made a note of that. “Yes, that is atypical. What do you know about what caused your condition?”
“Not a lot. From what I’ve been told and what I’ve managed to find to read about, it’s either injury or in some cases they think maybe emotional trauma. I always thought I was pretty stable, though. The most emotional thing that’s happened to me that I can remember is my mother passing, but I handled it well? As well as a person could, I mean.”
“Of course. The problem with amnesia, as you may have heard, is that often the trigger is forgotten. However, the atypical nature of your condition is hopeful, because emotional trauma can be found and dealt with.” She sighed a little, then laughed. “If I had these magical powers every seems to think I’ll get I could fix it in an instant.” The idea that she’d be able to read minds after having a bunch of dreams was laughable, even after the demonstrations of powers she’d witnessed.
“I guess I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Or just wait for you to get magical powers,” he added, looking amused. Not that magic in his dreams seemed to work out quite so well. “Whichever comes first, right?”
Jean laughed. “Let’s focus on the less magical solution. I’m pretty sure magic should be a last resort.” She smiled brightly at him, glad he didn’t take her outburst poorly. “How long ago did your mother pass?”
“Oh … About … A few years ago? Maybe four?” David did some math in his head, then nodded. “Four seems right. She was there when I graduated from college, and a little bit into my time at the police academy.”
Jean nodded, her smile turning into a thoughtful expression again. “Do you have any family around here?”
“No. My mom was really all I had, and the rest of my family lives in Wisconsin still, but I’ve never really talked to them a lot. I’ve sort of just been bumming around on my own for the last little while.” Another shrug. It sounded sort of sad, actually, to say it out loud. Another thing he hadn’t even really thought of.
That was sad. “Do you have friends at work?” She hoped he wasn’t truly alone. In an otherwise healthy individual loneliness could cause depression, and with his condition it seemed even more likely.
“I … Guess so.” He’d call them acquaintances more than friends, but he’s never never had a problem getting along with people. “I have a couple of friends outside of work, at least?” David cracked a smile.
Jean smiled back. “That’s good. Do you mind telling me a little about them?”
“Sure.” David shifted in his chair, then finally sat back. “There’s Ana, who used to be a police officer, so I guess that’s something almost in common? She’s sort of a stronger personality but we get along all right. I enjoy when we spend time together. And then … Thackery. He’s a veterinarian, with his own clinic.” David couldn’t remember where it was, but he had the business card in his wallet. “I generally tell people to go see him when they ask where to take their pets. He’s just an all around good guy. Oh, and Mary Margaret.”
David ducked his head a bit to hide the smile that came up at her name. He never had any problem remembering anything about her. “She’s a teacher in Huntington Beach. Actually, she doesn’t live too far from me, sometimes we go to the same coffee shop. She’s probably the nicest person anyone will ever meet in their lives. And she’s in my dreams. She’s Snow White.”
Jean’s smile grew wider as he talked about his friends, and she noted his reaction to Mary Margaret on her pad. “Oh? She’s a princess in your dreams? Who are you, then?”
At least David had the presence of mind to be embarrassed about what he was about to say. “Prince Charming. And, before you think anything, the story’s a bit more complicated than what Disney led us all to believe.”
“Love always is.” Jean said with a soft chuckle. “So you dream that she’s a princess and you’re her prince. Since you are obviously attracted to her, it’s only logical to ask if you think she feels the same way toward you.”
“To be fair, I’m not technically a prince. I just got chosen to pretend to be the prince, and she was the one who gave me the name Charming. Sarcastically. We didn’t get along well at the start.” David smiled a bit, sort of in a what-can-you-do way. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think she might be, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.”
“Have you asked her out?” Jean blurted out. She put her hand over her mouth and laughed. “I’m sorry, I should be trying to get to know you better before I attempt to interfere with your love life. Though that is also in the job description, so don’t be surprised when it happens.” She chuckled a little at herself. “This is my first time being compelled to do something, I’m still new at avoiding it.”
David laughed. He figured maybe he shouldn’t, but he did, and then gave Jean an apologetic smile in turn. “It’s all right. I haven’t really. I asked her to go to Disneyland with me, since she said she’d go, and she invited me to her place for Thanksgiving. I’m nervous to try and get too far into things. I don’t know if I really, genuinely like her or if I’m just thinking, hey, we’re Snow White and Prince Charming, I have to like her.”
“That is a fair thing to worry about. I’m afraid the dreams will have a similar effect on me.” This time her blunt honesty didn’t make her laugh. Scott was a married man, and more than that, Jean wasn’t attracted to him now. She didn’t want that to change. She pursed her lips and shook her head. “Taking it slow is a good idea.”
“I thought so,” he said, glad to have confirmation on that front. He’d dated plenty before, but it was all sorts of different this time around. He was constantly nervous about somehow messing something up. “For what it’s worth, though, beyond the confusion, I don’t think the dreaming thing is so bad.”
Jean laughed a little. “Thank you for your reassurance.” She chuckled a little. “But we’re not here for you to reassure me. Are you currently taking any medication?”
“None.” David shook his head. “They had me some once, before I came out here. I think it messed me up more than it helped. Sorry, I don’t remember the name of it off the top of my head.” He smiled apologetically.
“That’s okay. Are you averse to trying a new medication? I’m not going to prescribe one today, but I would like to keep the option open.”
“I’m not averse. Not really. Hesitant, more like. But if it was coming from you, I’d probably be more open to trusting it.”
Jean laughed a little. “That’s quite a compliment. Thank you. It means a lot to me. I’ll do a little research between now and our next session, to see if there’s anything that might help. We could also try hypnotism, if you’re comfortable with that.”
“You just have that way about you,” he admitted, then looked embarrassed for having said it. “Sorry - it’s a good trait to have, for a doctor especially. I’ve done hypnotism before, so I wouldn’t mind it much.” To be honest, David was just pleased that she wanted a second session. He’d been worried she’d decide he wasn’t quite worth the time or something like that. It was reassuring.
Jean nodded and made a note of that as well. "May I attempt to get your previous treatment records? I don't want to cover old ground." She was pressed that he trusted her. Now she had to earn it.
“Yes, of course. Whatever you need to do. I’m honestly clueless about … Well, everything. But mostly about all this. I leave it all in your hands.” He held up his own, signifying that he was glad to move it all to her.
“Thank you. I’ll do my best.” She smiled softly at him, hoping she could do well enough to help.