Canaan can't trust her senses (fortheliving) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-11-14 13:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, canaan, gin ichimaru |
"I don't think she meant ta let that cat outta the bag."
Who: Canaan, Gin
What: Assassin's Anonymous meeting, lol.
When: Recently (before the truth plot though).
Where: Gin's house!
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 for talking about assassin-y stuff. Warnings for the same.
Status: Complete!
Gin had called Canaan earlier in the day, to ask if she wanted to come over. He did have something to ask her, which wasn’t related to accounting work. He also had a nicely arranged tray of cucumber rolls and green tea made, because he didn’t want to be a bad host to a friend. And having friends who knew his line of work - or friends at all, really - was something that didn’t happen often.
He made sure the ferrets weren’t going to steal Canaan’s shoes or any other valuables, by penning them up in Jessie’s room, which was probably going to drive them crazy. Or the chinchilla crazy. Whichever, something was going to have to give in there, but it was better than it giving out in the rest of the house for a little while. The little hellions had stolen half of his tabi socks.
It didn't take long for Canaan to arrive. It was a nice neighborhood, a gorgeous day, and the implants in her eyes had really improved her outlook on life. She had a bounce in her step when she strode up to Gin and Jesse's door and knocked on it.
"It's Canaan! I brought some treats with me."
Under her arm was a box of fresh Taiyaki, some with red bean filling and some with custard. She hoped he liked them.
Gin had somewhat of a sweet tooth, so as long as it wasn't anything dried and potatoey, and if it was fruity sweet, you were going to be his friend. Taiyaki was more Abarai's thing but he somehow doubted Renji was going to be coming over. Not without a fight taking place in which Gin was dodging a lot, and Renji was being his usual hot messy mess while fighting.
Gin opened the door just enough to poke his head out. There was a wide smile on his face, but there's nothing out of the norm about that.
"Hiya, Canaan~chan," he said in a little singsong of a voice, before he opened the door up all the way and he could lean one side of his body against it, like that was all that was holding it up, because he is oh-so-lazy. "Whacha got? Girl scout cookies? Ya don' look like no girl scout I ever seen. Gimme some of them thin mints."
The joke was amusing, and Canaan smirked a bit and held up her container, "Sadly, no thin mints. Today it's Taiyaki, sweet red bean and a sweet custard. I'm not really sure what kind of treats from home you like. Mochi isn't really in season. I like the fruit kebabs with caramel and chocolate from Shanghai but strawberries aren't in season either."
She realised she was nervous, and darted her eyes to the side, "I'm not really used to being invited into people's homes. Sorry."
"I like sweet red bean," he said and then raised his eyebrows a little bit, his eyes almost coming out of the squint. Almost, but not quite. There might have been two thin slivers of blue between his eyelashes for a second or two. "Nah, ya need ta relax. Don'cha worry none about comin’ over, just c'mon in. I made some cucumber rolls an' green tea."
The tea is safe but the cucumber rolls....one out of the twenty-four of them is a wasabi bomb. It's his prank of the month, at least until Halloween and then he would probably scare the pee right out of some little kids. Especially when a guy in a ghostly fox mask came popping out of basically nowhere behind them before they knocked on the door, he silly stringed them so they looked like they were cocooned...and then maybe (just maybe) he would throw some candy toward them.
"Oh, that sounds good. I'm just not used to being friends with people and ending up at their houses," Canaan admitted, with a bit of a sheepish grin.
She stepped inside, handing Gin the container from the bakery on the way, "This is a nice place, though. MM. You can smell the tea."
It was probably a good thing that Canaan liked things a little more spicy than some people did. Middle-Eastern backgrounds were good for something! Though depending on the size of the wasabi bomb, Gin's cucumber roll might have her gasping for water, too. Only time will tell!
Gin liked funny things and that's why he lived in a (mostly) glass house. If he's feeling particularly ironic, he can throw rocks at it. Otherwise, it was very clean and very white and very sparsely furnished. The view was incredible...for seeing if there was anyone coming for him. Dual-purposes seemed to suit him anyway, given his duplicitous nature.
In other news, the wasabi bomb was a decent amount of wasabi, but was discreetly hidden in one of the smaller rolls, so the rice ratio was lower when compared to the chunky roll variety. It is a tiny nuke bomb of flavor. Yum yum. They are going to play sushi roulette. Fortunately for Gin, he has an advantage because he turned the row with the bomb in it toward the guest side of the kitchen counter, and he was pretty sure it was the second one from the right on the second row. Leave it to him to rig the game...but that's what ‘gracious’ hosts do to their guests when they are really into pranks. And there was a chance anyway that she might fill up on tea and taiyaki, before she even tried any.
"I got the good matcha stuff," he said after taking the container and waiting for her to enter before he closed the door with his foot. He then started heading into the kitchen while speaking, conversationally. "Everythin's in the kitchen an' the roommate ain't home. She's a vet, so she's workin'."
And neither was his not-a-girlfriend either, at least temporarily. Which worked to his advantage for what he had to talk about with Canaan, anyway.
"So how'd that job go, really?" he asked, meaning her hit on the rogue yakuza members, but they could talk about it in accounting terms if she wanted. "It's hard ta talk on texts since you always have to worry someone's gonna find out what you're sayin'."
"I got a little more banged up than I'm used to, actually, but as you can see I'm fine now," Canaan replied, truthfully. It was nice to be in an environment where they could talk about things a little more out in the open. She didn't like having to hide what she did, though she at least enjoyed her 'cover' job.
"More people than I expected, but it was all handled pretty quickly," Canaan added, by way of explanation as she made herself comfortable in the kitchen. As much as she liked Gin, she didn't feel like it was a good idea to talk about her eyes yet.
Being the child of accountants, Gin was one of those too intelligent types that could be given a number to divide by another number, and pretty much shoot the answer out of his mouth in an instant. So he could fake being an accountant, when he wanted to. He had done that for Rangiku's parents, and was sneaky enough to reroute some of his money in there to cover up their debts. Sneaky sneaky.
But being able to speak openly? Fantastic. No accounting terminology! Not mentioning the eyes either was not a problem, seeing as how he barely ever showed his to people, unless it was Rangiku. And she had either clocked him a good one (which he was letting her get away with...he could easily dodge if he wanted to) or they were having one of those moments.
For right now, though, Gin was pouring them tea and sliding a cup of it over toward her across the countertop, smiling the whole time.
"Wasn't it in some office buildin' or somethin'?" he asked her, opening the container with the taiyaki and finding a red bean one out of the bunch. "If thatsa yes, then it's a contained space an' those're always a pain in the rear ta deal with. Turns into a big ol' hootnanny, 'cause of the corners an' things they can hide around." Before he took a bite, he told her, "Glad you're all right though."
"It was in an office building yes, and that was exactly the problem. You have to be so careful when you're clearing a place like that out, and even when you are you can miss someone who was previously hiding somewhere." Canaan agreed, with a nod. She took a long sip of tea, and followed that by a relieved sigh. Good tea brought back memories of 'home', the same way strong coffee tended to.
"I worked silently and managed to get through most of the building before that happened, though. So it was only a minor inconvenience. A small cut and some bruises. He was taken care of easily enough after that. This is a really good blend of tea."
What had actually happened was that her eyesight had picked a very bad time to kick back in. It had disoriented her enough to lose the advantage, something that spooked her enough to not even think twice about using Mayuri's implants. That was all over now, though, and she felt generally at ease as she pulled out an ivory-colored cake that denoted it was filled with custard cream.
"Stragglers are kinda inevitable," he said a little sheepishly, rubbing one hand over the back of his head and softly laughing. "I'm sure there's a few runnin' scared. I'll try ta clean 'em up as I find 'em. Ya really had the hard job, though. All I had ta do was rig a building ta collapse an' I was done."
Yes, how did you do that, Gin? How. Did you. Do that.
"You'd be surprised what ya can do if ya get the right tools ta cut a few beams an' then fake it lookin' like support fail." He laughed and took a drink of tea, nodding, before smiling up at her again. "Thanks. Had it sent over. The work's hard but the pay's great, so I could afford it."
He hadn't noticed anything about her eyes yet, although he knew about Motoko's eyes being the special things that they were. But it's not exactly like he's volunteering what he was or was capable of either, so there wasn't any obligation to share their so-called tricks of the trade.
Canaan laughed, "Maybe we should have traded jobs. Imploding a warehouse sounds like fun. But I don't think there'll be that many stragglers. We both do clean work and we both hate loose ends. I know it's a high probability that there might be a few, but things have been too quiet to know for sure."
She tilted her head off to the side a bit, "They might have crawled back and joined ranks with one of the other rival gangs. If that's the case the gangs will take care of them for us if they start talking."
"Ahh yeah, probably layin' low. If they are, then they're runnin' scared," was his thoughtful sounding reply, even if he looked a little too cheerful about that fact.
He gave it the benefit of the doubt that one or two may have gotten out of the warehouse and so he was being more careful with his estimates in his head. He was also very sneakily taking out some members of the rival gangs in the area, one at a time. It wasn't because he got any set orders to do so, other than some systematic 'fun' to freak them out and make them look over their shoulder. That was good for not muscling in on someone else's territory, after all.
"I guess I better take up real accounting if things get slow," he joked, taking a bite of his sweet bean taiyaki.
"Jewelry making isn't as profitable as my real job. It's fun, but if I had to make a living out of it I think I'd starve. I guess it's good that I've been holing some money from my jobs away just in case." Canaan replied, with a bit of a chuckle. She was more at ease now that they were talking and eating, and her cake was delicious. She was hungrier than she'd realised.
She took another sip of tea, "But the client on my end seemed happy enough and the pay was good enough that I had a chunk of it to give to your friend. Yachiru, was it? I have some cash for her. I didn't think she wanted to worry about cashing a mysterious check."
"I got my chunk of change an' threw some into a bag around here, for her. But I think they probably got the more lucrative place ta hit up. If they were smart, they grabbed some money before they torched it."
Like Yumichika was going to leave money laying around, that could go to a spa day? As if.
"Yachiru'll use it on candy anyway," he said with a smile, leaning on his elbows so he could move in closer. "You make jewelry, right? How 'bout I pay you ta make somethin' for someone. It's real simple. Nothin' fancy."
From the sound of it, Yachiru had set herself up quite enough of a pay day, then. Canaan really didn't need the money, but she also didn't want to overstep any boundaries, either. So she nodded her head while she sipped her tea, and then nodded again while she listened to Gin.
"I could make you just about anything you wanted, jewelry wise. I prefer things that are simple and elegant, too, but if you did want something fancy... I'd make you a good deal. I don't overcharge. You mainly pay for the materials."
Gin figured that particular hit was good enough for those two to cut their teeth on, Yachiru's first time in a killing spree wouldn't be all on her own without some full-of-himself backup, and that the drug money there would be enough to cover her candy habit. Thus it would get her off his back about paying for anything past the occasional sweets (which simply isn't going to happen), and the higher ups were happy. Everyone wins.
He polished off the taiyaki pretty quickly and took a drink of tea, before speaking. And as he spoke, he drew out what he wanted with a fingertip, on the surface between them.
"Gotta be long enough, longer's better. But a really nice, sturdy silver chain with large silver hoops on both end. One of those slip-it-on, don't-need-no-clasp kinds. Hell, if ya could make it in platinum, I'll pay for that. Might as well go all out, since it's such a simple thing."
Canaan's eyes followed the motion of Gin's finger as he traced out what he wanted, making a mental blueprint of what she'd need to acquire and how much work it would take to put together. It seemed simple enough, but definitely elegant in its simplicity. She liked the way Gin thought.
"Platinum is a good choice, especially for something you want to last a while. I should be able to get those materials quickly, I have a good supplier. The highest quality platinum to work with for casting the rings here will end up ferromagnetic, though. I'll need to know if that's a concern for you or not."
He really couldn't give his un-girlfriend or significant un-life partner (?!) a ring or anything like that. The necklace? That made more sense. As long as she didn’t tell anyone who she got it from.
"Nope. I don't think anyone's gonna haveta worry about that. 'Sides? If it's magnetic in any way, then it can be a funny joke. Otherwise, I guess I don' know what the ferro part o' the magnet is, unless it has to do with ferrets. Who wouldn't want ta be covered by those?" He grinned, looking pretty pleased. "I know that stuff's not cheap at all. If ya want the money up front, gimme a quote and I'll give it to ya right now."
It was a really sound idea. Canaan wasn't sure she'd ever get Motoko a ring, either. Rings seemed like they'd get in the way of what both of them did for a living, generally.
"Magnetic, yes. That's what I meant. It shouldn't be too powerfully magnetic given how delicate the ring will be, though. Do you want me to construct it so that the chain is already through the ring and leave it so the rings can't be opened? Or should I put hinges on the rings so that she can adjust it if she wants? I can make it very long so it should open up and fit around her head, regardless."
Such was the life of being an assassin: weddings and honeymoons were out of the question. To complicate matters even further, Gin didn't even want to go into the fact he was supposed to be protecting humans and not killing them off, himself. At least he was keeping it contained to really evil people, or...on some sliding scale...they were more evil than he was. So somehow, maybe, that made it a little bit justifiable.
"Nope, don't think it bein' magnetic is a problem," he said, but thought over the rest of what she was saying with a wide smile on his face. "Keep the rings closed, make it real long, and they can slip it up an' down however they want. Here."
He pointed first to the middle of his chest, about where someone's cleavage would start, and then way down toward his upper abdomen, before telling Canaan, "That's where the rings would rest, so I think it'd be long 'nuff to slip it over her head. I hate ta say it, but it's like those choke collars people use for really angry pets. Only the person this' for is no one's pet. They'd probably kick someone's face clean in if they got called that."
Ahh, Rangiku. She is so gentle. And Gin likes flirting with danger, so it works, somehow or other.
Speaking of flirting with danger, as soon as they were done talking about necklaces, he was going to steer the conversation toward a mutual friend of theirs. He's simply waiting for the right moment to do that.
Well, that was going to be fun. In the meantime, Canaan licked her fingers clean and made mental notes on the chain length. Then she calculated the amount of money needed to cover the costs, "The chain I can get for about 15 dollars an inch... you want quite a few inches of it, and then I'll need to purchase the raw materials for the rings. I won't know how much it all comes to until then."
She wanted to be fair with the price. Too many jewelry makers overcharged when there was no reason to do that.
"Sounds fine by me. I expected it ta be stupid expensive, so I feel like I'm gettin' a steal here. Make sure you're throwin' in the pay for you makin' it," he said, before reaching over and grabbing a napkin. He held it out to her, with a sly smile on his face. "So how's Motoko doin'?"
"It might still be stupid expensive, but I don't think it'll cost more than a thousand. Which I still think is stupid expensive, but cobalt platinum isn't cheap. I guess I should tack on something for my trouble, too, yes." Canaan squinted at him as she took the napkin from his hands. The subject change was a little suspicious.
She cleaned her fingers with it, while still squinting at him, "She's been... preoccupied, lately. Something is wrong, but she won't tell me what it is."
"Tack on somethin' for makin' it. That's only fair." He was smiling and the perfect picture of happiness and glee, as he leaned forward on his elbows. "I betcha it's one of her cases. I told ya she talked at me. An' I was hopin' she had let you in on what it was she was peekin' into or workin' on."
That wasn't a lie, actually. He was curious enough to mention it, and had been waiting to ask about it.
"Gotta be somethin' bad if she's not tellin' you," he teasingly told Canaan. "She really got quite the fond look on her face, when you came up. It was durin' that whole bubble thing, ya know. I don't think she meant ta let that cat outta the bag."
"The bubbles let a lot of cats out of bags, everywhere." Canaan admitted, chewing on her lip a bit. The idea that Motoko was working on something with Gin that she wasn't talking about, though, was really, really worrying. And annoying.
She diverted her attention for a second to the possible-wasabi-bomb cucumber roll, picking up some chopsticks and grabbing two pieces of it, "I'm glad that she lights up when she speaks of me, but I'm worried about her. I'm worried about this, period. Our lives are already hard enough to navigate. I don't know if I'm supposed to mention to her that I know you. It might bring up more questions. Now that I know she's talking to you about it and not me, I'm even more worried."
"Well? I dinnit know if I was s'posed ta either," he admitted, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. Sure, they were assassins, but he didn't have to be the total rat bastard he had been in his dreams. He didn't think Canaan or himself were entirely bad people, despite what they did for a living. "Decided I should take the chance, since ya trusted me 'nuff to let me in on what ya heard about the hits an' stuff."
Gin's benevolence only went so far, because prank pulling was a freebie and he wasn't telling Canaan about any wasabi bombs. He was just as likely to get one, as she was, since all he had was a guess where they went.
"I know she likes ya though. That's gonna be trouble if our bosses find out, so ya might wanna be careful," he suggested. "She already knows we know eachother, so maybe she's gettin' over-protective. Ya know, when people like someone else, they tend ta do that, or leave out tellin' them stuff that they're doing. To protect 'em."
He shrugged a little. But that is exactly what he did with Rangiku in his dreams and while he's awake, so he's got a pretty strong foundation for thinking that it might be what's happening.
It was probably exactly what was happening. Which had been why, in her dream world, Canaan had ended up not telling Maria everything too. And why, even though she'd loved the woman, she'd let her go.
She sighed a bit, "Motoko can take care of herself, up to a point. We try not to worry about each other. The worrying is what makes you weak. But I also think it depends on who my boss actually is. Some people or agencies handle this differently than others. Do you know, I've never really known? I just take the orders, my handler does all the talking."
The first bite of cucumber roll seemed bomb free. Canaan chewed it thoughtfully and swallowed, then added, "I wanted to protect someone in my dream world, and I ended up being alone. Motoko, I always thought, didn't need protecting. But I've got limits, I'm only human. Maybe I'm the one that needs it."
Gin wasn't smiling as much. He was squinty but his expression was more thoughtful than happy. That was a lot to think about and he knew he was under the impression that any official romantic entanglements or worrying was a weakness. The other thing was that he was no closer to the goal he had set out on, since it had been hard to find who was calling the shots. It made his vendetta difficult to finish out and get it over with. So what she said about only taking the orders and rolling with it really hit home.
"Yeah, first off," he pointed over toward the plate and then plucked up one of the cucumber rolls with his fingers, "we're playing wasabi bomb roulette there, just so ya know. I feel bad prankin' ya since we seem ta have the same kinda problems goin' on, right down to our dreams. Only I dinnit end up alone, but dead."
He opened his mouth and popped the piece in, chewing slowly. No burn. Maybe the next one. At least he gave Canaan the chance to stop now instead of nuking her sinus cavity.
"That's the thing. Ya know, we probably did really evil things in our dreams. Or we do 'em here. But I don't think either of us are entirely evil people. Not if we remember the things we've been dreamin' about. You probably don't wanna end up alone and I don't really want ta end up dead. Even though I'd risk it anyway, since it's kinda dangerous an' fun...."
His voice trailed off and he shrugged again, more sharply this time. Like he wasn't sure where to go from there.
"I don't want to end up alone, no. And Maria isn't like Motoko. Maria was gentle, and kind, and extremely naive. She'd lived a sheltered life. She didn't understand about the realities of things. I remember once, I hurt and disappointed her because I killed a boy just to save her."
Canaan looked down at the slices of roll she'd taken, appreciating the fact that he'd warned her. She smiled. Maybe because the idea of pranking her was funny, or maybe because he'd been kind enough to warn her. Still, she was as much of a danger junky as anyone else in their profession was. She shrugged a shoulder and put the next bite in her mouth.
It was like eating a small bomb, but it was also really, really delicious. Her eyes started streaming and she grinned a bit at Gin while pointing at the teapot. Because she was really, really going to need some tea to wash that down with.
Gin swiftly poured the tea and squirted a bunch of honey in, speed stirring it. He set it back down right in front of her and removed his hand, because he knew the burn all too well. He even went picking up another piece to eat, because tempting the prank fates is the cool thing to do.
It also sounded to him like Canaan had a boatload of things on her mind, just like he did.
"Yep, I understand the hurt thing too. I already have someone pissed off at me cuz they kinda know what I'm doin' for a living." His mom, specifically, whom he wished had been around in his dreams. At some point, either in the world of the living or in the world of the dead, they had been separated. He never could remember, and maybe it was better that way. Although it really didn’t matter much, here. It wasn't like they were on speaking terms, since he was so good at burning all of his bridges behind him. "I think I know where you're comin' from, dream-wise. I kinda went on a big ol' vendetta against someone, for hurting a girl I cared about. That's what ended up killin' me. Retrospect on that one was a real bitch."
He popped a cucumber roll into his mouth, again no wasabi bomb. He reached for another and popped that one in too, chewed once, then made a scrunchy face like there was an inferno in the middle of his skull. He reached for his own tea while exhaling slowly, mouth open, and after that he started drinking. Quickly.
It was really kind of amazing how alike their lives were. Canaan had plenty of time to reflect on that while she was washing down a wasabi bomb with tea and honey, which she nodded a thanks to Gin for preparing for her.
She listened to him speak while trying to decided if she wanted to risk eating another piece of the roll, then tried not to look amused at his misfortune when one of the bombs found its way into his own nasal cavity.
Once her own sinuses had recovered slightly, she hazarded speaking again, "She eventually forgave me. It was a matter of her not wanting to see me for what I was. She kept thinking I was a normal girl. I'm not, and in the dreams I didn't know how to pretend to be. I'm not sure I even wanted to, though I liked doing 'normal' things with her."
She scrunched up her nose a bit, "Vendettas are tricky ground. Siam used to tell me that you can't fight hatred with hatred. You can't seek revenge because revenge comes from hatred. But I've spent so many years trying to track down his killer. And in the dreams, when I did, she was just as dead inside as he was. There wasn't any point in it."
Gin sniffled the rest of the burn away and nodded as he listened, in understanding.
"Yep, but it's pretty much my bread an' butter. Sure, tryin' ta kill someone who was basically tryin' ta overthrow God an' take over? It sounded better in my head than the actual doin' was. Maybe if I hadn't waited too long...."
That was a big fat what if, since if he had made the attempt a few metamorphosis or two earlier, then it might have all ended very differently. Too much laying in wait and too much Would he do it again? He already was, and he did kind of let his likes and dislikes get a bit carried away. If by 'a bit' one might mean more of a 'epic hundred year or so long-term revenge planning...cuz I want to make you pay as soon as I've figured out what you're doing and how I can best do it.'
Well? No one could ever accuse Gin of half-assing it. That's probably why he opened his eyes out of their usual squint, looked up at the ceiling, and bit into his lower lip for a second. It was a classic 'ooops?' expression, even if it only lasted for a fleeting moment.
"Sounds like ya got some wise advice that Siam person gave ya," he remarked, but then he seemed a little curious. It seemed that Siam guy was dead from the sounds of it, but he wondered about the girl. "But what happened to Maria, in your dreams? She just kinda go on, tryin' ta pretend everything was normal or what?"
"The woman that killed him manipulated us all onto the same train that she killed him on, a few years later. She shot Maria and put a bomb on the train, hoping that placing her in danger like that would..."
And with this, Canaan paused for a second. Gin would probably laugh at her, but it was a little too late to be shy. She much preferred being able to tell the truth when she could. So she continued, "Well. She wanted to see the true expression of my powers. The limit of what they could do. But she was wrong about a lot of things. And dead inside, too. I never saw Maria again after that day. I know she didn't die. I could feel her existence in the world, but she needed someone else. So she moved on with her life and went back to Japan."
Canaan leaned back a bit, and sighed. But she was smiling, in spite of herself, "She grew up and became one of Japan's best photographers. I don't think she forgot about me."
Gin was listening as he chewed on another cucumber roll, luckily minus the wasabi bomb inside of it. He shook his head a little bit and took a long drink of tea before he responded. That was a sad ending. He never did like sad endings, but if there was one bright spot, it's that the girl lived, even if it was without Canaan. Or, in his case, Rangiku was going to live, even if it was without him being around. He knew because of certain developments right before he died, that she would.
"Ahh, ya dinnit get the girl. But then again? Neither did I," he admitted. He smiled too, even if there was a wry little quirk to his lips while he did so. "But at least that ending innit quite so sad as it coulda been. Imagine what might've happened if ya hadn't shown up?"
There was a pensive pause before, "So you can sense people out in the world? Ya must have some pretty serious powers, since you've been dreamin'."
"It was a little sad. The funny thing was that I wasn't that lonely before she showed up. I missed Siam, but his death gave me motivation. After Maria and the other people that I met in Shanghai, though, I missed people. I think that's why I make more of an effort here in this world. I know I need at least a few people in my life."
It was one of those endings that she guessed she'd call 'bittersweet'. Canaan poured them both some more tea, and stirred it thoughtfully, "But you're right. There were definitely worse endings. And at least she lived. I hope that whoever you were fighting for got that chance, too. It makes it worth it, I think. As for powers... the ability to sense people isn't as developed as some other things. Maria had a color to her. Her warmth, her kindness, everything about her made a color in the world that I could feel, and sense. Like being wrapped in a comforting blanket. No matter where she went, I could feel her color. I could have followed her, used that ability to track her if I wanted. But it's a rare case."
She shook her head, "Mainly, I see colors differently than most people. I sense their emotions, but instead of feeling those emotions I read them on people by what color they are. I can make my eyes change until everything looks like... the closest thing I can think of is an infrared spectrum. Only the colors on the spectrum identify friend from enemy, instead. In that state, I can see everything. Planes incoming, bombs flying in my direction, bullets. I can hack computer code - I literally see the code and can sort through it by color. It's hard to explain."
"I knew she could take care of herself, but I wouldn't know what happened after that. When ya die, you can't really help the people ya leave behind if they get in trouble or get hurt after that. Anyway," he said, thoughtfully, as he took the cup of tea, "I think that sounds real useful. You're suited pretty darn well for your profession, ain'cha?"
Gin wondered what color he'd be, or if he would simply show up as a big black blob in front of her. That would figure. In his dreams he had fought against Ichigo. It was partially to keep him from doing something dumb like hopping into a fight with Aizen when he wasn't ready for it, and partially to see for himself what the creepy kid could do. But even the creepy kid said he could usually tell what his opponent was fighting for, and he got nothing off of fighting Gin. And no wonder, because by that point, he was so far gone trying to hide himself and had done so many terrible things that there probably wasn't much inside of him anymore. After all, there was nothing like sliding someone in half so they look back and see their own legs left behind them. Couldn't have been fun. And Gin did enjoy stabbing people for a living, even if he kept to people he justified as bad, and labeled it toward a greater personal cause. Even then, it didn't make it right or legal.
That was why Gin started to sip his tea and he didn't dare ask what color he was. Sometimes it was better off, not knowing.
If he'd asked, she would have told him that most of the time he had no color. Or that she was beginning to realise that people who were dead, like Alphard, only had a color when they allowed themselves to feel the thing they were feeling passionately enough to let it show through.
Alphard had always been strange colors when they were fighting each other. But none of that had mattered before, because when her eyes weeded everything out, Alphard was still always bright blue. It had only been on that final day that she'd been anything else.
... so the kitchen was silent for a while, while she contemplated her own inner demons and Gin contemplated his. Then she nodded her head, "I guess you could say I was born for this."
It wasn't true. The bomb dropped on her village had changed her into this. Siam and shaped her into this. But it was close enough.
That would make sense then. He certainly wasn't alive in the classic sense of the word anymore, and it would also make a lot of sense why Ichigo never sensed anything off him when they fought, both times. And they definitely had some inner demons, the both of them, which was why Gin felt Canaan was fully qualified to share some details with. Especially since they both knew Motoko the COP and that was enough to get them BOTH knocked off, if the Yakuza bosses ever found out. Luckily, it meant they could kind of watch each other's backs.
"I don't think it's the kinda thing anyone's born into," he replied, twirling the rest of the tea around in the cup as he smiled at her. "It's all circumstance an' luck of the draw. Offer the right person 'nuff money or give 'em the right incentive, they'd probably kill their own grandmother. All just a matter of hittin' the right buttons at the right times or simply fallin' into it. I didn't even fall into it. I kinda decided ta jump in, face first. I mean, I knew I was gonna kill someone when I was nine." He puckered his lips and whistled while exhaling, long and slow, for comedic effect. "So much for playin' video games or ridin' bikes."
"I was six I think... around that age when Siam found me. Not in the dream world, but here. In the dreams, I was younger. But in both places, he trained me. Little things at first, then later to kill. I think he thought I'd become a better soldier than he was. In the dreams, that makes more sense - I had these powers even then. But here, it doesn't. The only thing I can think is that he knew a killer when he saw one. I'd already become a pickpocket by then."
She shrugged a shoulder, "I'm not sad about it. I loved the training. I looked up to him. We celebrated my first kill, we didn't mourn the fact that I'd lost some part of my humanity in the process. It was like a coming of age. I think I was in my early teens at that point. I don't take needless life, but I don't regret taking it either. And I don't think the alternatives were really any better."
If the alternatives were something sleazy, then no, that's not better.
"Ahhh. I always regretted a lil' when I had to in my dreams, or got around not doin' it when I didn't haveta," he confessed, with a sheepish grin. "I guess I got wrapped up in the whole 'that's my target an' no one else gets 'em but me', yeah? Here, I guess I always thought the people I was killin' were bad 'nuff already. I didn't regret it too much. A part of me likes makin' 'em pay and an eye for an eye. Sometimes, I like up close an' personal. Which is a nice change, cuz I really don't haveta do that. I could do it from 'bout eight miles away, if I wanted an' had a good clean shot at 'em...."
He is not joking at all.
"...beats bein' a real accountant, with a nine ta five." He shrugged and toasted her with the tea cup in one hand. "Here's ta unconventional childhoods, Canaan~chan."
"Here's to unconventional lives, and the interesting people it's turned us into," Canaan replied, toasting him with her teacup.