Spock (vulcan_mind) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-06-14 01:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, spock |
Who: Spock [Narrative]
What: Dreams of a depressing nature
When: Late tonight
Where: Spock's place
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13ish for planetary destruction and death
It was always with a certain amount of nervousness that Spock went to sleep. Since the dreams had started, he was always left to wonder what he might see when he closed his eyes and let unconsciousness take him. The destruction of Vulcan weighed heavily on his shoulders. But no amount of warning could have prepared him for the actual experience.
As acting captain of the Enterprise, Spock knew it to be a risky move to leave the ship for the surface of his dying planet. Chekov had given Vulcan minutes at most, and yet he hadn't been able to push aside his feelings enough to stop himself from rushing the landing pad and commanding the officer to beam him away.
There was the briefest moment of disorientation, but such moments were precious and so while still gathering himself, Spock rose to his feet and glanced around to find his way. All around him was turmoil; cliffs were falling and the ground was caving in. It struck Spock that this would be the last time he'd ever see his home. It pained him to know that this was how he'd probably always remember it.
He ran into the Arc to save the best parts of his people, the culture. With speed and surprising calm, Spock ushered his elders and his parents out to where the Enterprise could beam them to (relative) safety.
Standing on a precipice, Spock watched the world fall apart around him with his mother just a few steps away. Amanda Grayson had horror in her eyes and when she turned to face her son, Spock wanted more than anything to reach out and comfort her. But that was not the Vulcan way. And, faced with such wanton destruction, he couldn't bring himself to do anything but stare in terrified awe.
When the rocks she stood upon began to crumble, Amanda's eyes widened in fear. It happened so quickly that she could barely let out a scream. She fell into nothingness, a gaping chasm that led to a black hole that would eat away everything Spock had ever known. Though he reached for her and shouted for her, Spock knew she was gone by the time he'd been transported back.
He watched the planet disappear from the safety of the Enterprise and realized bitterly that he was suddenly a member of an endangered species. In the back of his head, a tiny voice whispered, she's gone, she's gone, she's gone, but he didn't cry. That was not the Vulcan way.
When he woke, it was because of a strangled sob that died on his tongue. The sound had shook him out of his dream and surprised him enough that he hadn't been entirely sure where it'd come from. But then he realized he'd been crying so hard that his pillow was wet. Furiously, he scrubbed at his eyes and cheeks and rose, thinking it best to get away from his bed. He wouldn't allow himself sleep again. Not tonight.