InsaneJournal

Who: Twins + Theo
What: …Meeting the parent?
When: 10/19, after this thread.
Where: Theo's
Rating: PG-13.
Status: Complete!





It was easy now, stupidly simple to just walk through their closet and out of hers and be where they wanted. Although the situation was strange, it wasn't as if they weren't used to just popping up out of the blue and visiting. They practically lived here. Same as Theo practically lived at theirs. Maybe it was sort of the same thing.

"Theo?" George smoothed his shirt down, and followed by Fred they wandered around, looking for their third.

True to their word, they'd brought a shovel.

It was only a little awkward for Theo. First she’d taken a nap, then she’d woken up and decided to go to the bathroom to brush her hair. She’d almost stumbled over a human skeleton, neatly piled next to the bed. That had been shocking, to be sure, but what had been more shocking was the voice in her head, clearly accented in the nearly-English sounding southern lilt of the turn of the century.

She’d had to explain to Mama that she was in an alternate universe, that Theo dreamed of Fell’s Church and all the happenings there. And of course, Mama, ever practical had mentioned that she should probably be buried.

Which was why Theo had the bones wrapped neatly in a vintage duvet. She wasn’t worried about being arrested, since there was no way she could’ve murdered someone from the early 1900s. The bones were visibly aged.

“In the kitchen, sweethearts! Mama says that you’ve got a cute butt, George!”

The twins glanced at each other even as they made their way to the kitchen. Theo's disembodied mother, whose bones they were about to bury in the backyard was, apparently, pretty cool. Or had the same good taste as her daughter, anyway.

"Aw, thanks Mrs…uh." George faltered, even as they stepped into the kitchen, eyebrows raised and shoulders brushing, shovel balanced between them.

"Theo's mum." Fred supplied.

“She’s not really my mama while I’m awake, she’s still alive. But she’s dream Mrs. Flowers’ Mama, so that makes her family, right?” Theo smiled, patting the skull before picking up the pile of bones in the blanket. “She says you two remind her of a couple’a boys she used to know that she was dating at the same time too.”

"Dream mums are mums all the same," Fred said, settling the shovel against the wall until they needed it and then scooting closer to peer at the bones and press a kiss to the top of Theo's head at the same time. Not like a weird situation could get any weirder.

"Your dream mum is awesome," George said, looking around as if he might just catch a glimpse of a ghost.

Unless she hung around all the time. That could get weird. They didn't want dream mum sex tips or anything.

“She promises not to be around during inappropriate times,” Theo grinned. She tiptoed up to kiss Fred and George each, sighing contentedly. “She’s just kind of stuck here. She wants to look over me. When I pass, she’ll come with me.”

"Way to take that conversation to a serious place," Fred said with a little pout. Because obviously they were twenty something year old boys, and they liked thinking that they, along with everyone they knew, were invincible and no one would ever die. Not even of old age, because that was ridiculous. Or something.

George just nodded some vague affirmation before moving along. "You need us to, uh, dig a hole?"

“I was gonna help,” Theo said indignantly. She pouted at her boys, then giggled when her Mama said that her boyfriends were chivalrous. Clearly, her Mama had just met them.

Clearly. Not that they weren’t chivalrous. Just that they did it on their own terms. Terms that were usually a little obnoxious. It was just the way of things, and Theo seemed to deal with it accordingly so no issues there, really.

“Of course,” Fred grinned, and picked the shovel back up.

“We said we’d help hide the body, not do it on our own.” A pause, and George looked around awkwardly. “Uhm. Sorry. Can she hear us then? Was that rude?” This would take some getting used to.

“She can always hear y’all, but she doesn’t always answer. But that made her laugh.” Theo shook her head. “Don’t worry, I don’t think she wants to watch us havin’ sex, you know? Would your mama wanna see that?” Theo ruffled George’s hair with one hand, hoisting the bones with the other.

“Did y’all mean what you said, by the by?” Love was a mighty big word.

They both had to give a little pause to think about that. What had they said? Was it weird? They shared a glance amongst themselves and then rose their eyebrows in mutual understanding. They were, admittedly, a little slow for being so sharp sometimes.

"Of course,"

"Did you think we didn't?"

"God, Theo."

So they'd said it without thinking. Typed it really. But that didn't mean it wasn't true.

She laughed brightly at that, tugging them each down in turn and kissing them firmly. Her mother, dream mother or no, was smart enough to stay quiet. “You boys are so silly. Y’didn’t even realize you typed it one bit, did you? I should say somethin’ about you whippersnappers and your phones, shouldn’t I?”

They both smiled, identical looks that were somehow both smug and abashed at the same time. It was a talent, really.

“Of course we realized,” Fred said, a blatant lie.

“No we didn’t,” George amended, because he was always the nicer of the two. He wrapped his arm around Theo’s shoulders as they wandered toward the back. “But don’t make fun of us, we’ll cry.”

“Have I ever made fun’a y’all for anything?” Theo turned her head to kiss George’s shoulder, sticking out her tongue at Fred. “Fred, don’t fib, I know when y’do that.”

Finding the spot that Mama had mentioned under the poplar tree in the backyard, Theo gently put down the bones. “Okay, I’ll take first shift diggin’.” She rolled up the sleeves on her t-shirt, tucking them under her bra, and reached for the shovel.

Just because she knew when they were lying didn't mean they intended on stopping: just that they were well aware they'd be called out for it. Really, it was a strange set of affairs, but it wasn't as if that had ever stopped them before.

Fred offered a look that translated roughly to 'are you sure? we can do it,' even as he handed over the shovel. They supposed if their dream talking ghost mum's needed burying, they'd rather want to do it mostly on their own, too.

She took the shovel and started to dig, using her feet and body weight to do most of the work. “Y’all forget I grew up on a damn farm, didn’t you?” She couldn’t help laughing. “I’ve probably dug more’n y’all put together.”

They laughed at that, twins giggles as they moved to stand to her side, shoulder to shoulder, watching her work with curious hazel eyes. "S'true," Fred agreed, because they'd never so much as been on a farm - they were practically city kids, really.

"But we're chivalrous," George went on.

At least, that was what her mum thought.

“Mama might still revise her decision when she stops laughin’,” Theo grinned. She was working hard, breaking a faint sweat. “But you two are tryin’, and I appreciate it.”

“It’s not every day we literally get to help hide a body,” Fred said, going for nonchalant. And if that didn’t change Mama Flowers’ mind about them, nothing would at all. George only nodded in agreement.

“That’s a blessin’,” Theo beamed. “Mama says you two are gonna be the death of her, then she giggled. I think you pass muster.”

They giggled again too, because how could they not?

“Your mum is awesome.” George decided before stepping forward and holding his hand out for the shovel. He’d take a turn, because fuck it. They were in this together. Nothing said We Love You like digging a deep hole, right?

Pausing for a moment, Theo wrapped her arms around George and kissed him gently before handing him the shovel. “This is gonna be thirsty work. Y’all like lemonade? It’s plenty sweet, promise.” Because nothing said ‘I grew up in the south’ like offering refreshments whilst hiding a body.

“Y’all,” they both said with little titters, before George licked his lips happily, and Fred took a kiss of his own (whatever, he was moral support).

“We’d love some lemonade,” Fred said, pointing absently to a spot of dirt that George had missed whilst shoveling.
Theo laughed, squeezing Fred’s hand as she pulled him closer for his snog as well. Theirs was a relationship of equals.

She ventured inside to go fetch them refreshments, coming back out with a pitcher of lemonade, some cookies, and glasses.

The twins, of course, approved heartily of all the treats -- even if Fred (with clean hands) had to feed cookies to George because no one liked dirt cookies. No one who counted anyway.

“We really do find the best ways to spend afternoons,” George murmured, entirely too amused for a man with a shovel.

“I’ll reward y’all later by rubbin’ your backs in the shower,” Theo giggled, taking the shovel back. “I swear, you’d think I was cuttin’ your legs off or somethin’.” She wondered if they knew any digging spells or something.

“Whatever,” they both said -- not of the backrubs, because those were awesome, but of the cutting legs off bit, because that wasn’t awesome and was also just a little weird.

“We had that.”

“We were doing right swimmingly.” Sometimes they went for too-British. Just to counter all of her too-southern. It was funny.

“Of course y’all were,” she giggled. “Don’t you boys have a digging spell?”

They considered that, twin expressions of eyebrows dipping down low in thought.

"Well," George said, even as Fred dug out his wand.

"Not exactly, but…" They had charms. The sort they'd learned from their dream mother. The kind that charmed brooms into doing what they were supposed to without needing to be held.

So, they tried that.

Theo sat down and watched them do whatever they were doing with their wands, smiling a little to herself.

"We're very good," Fred said, flopping down next to Theo once it was clearly they managed properly -- the shovel doing its own thing (a little wobbly, but they were sure it was just taking a second to get a hand of things before really digging in).

"Mm," George agreed, shoving a cookie into his mouth before sitting down on Theo's other side.

Handing George a damp cloth to wipe his hands with, Theo stretched her legs. “Wizards in your world really have it made. I’d just have had to do it all myself,” she mused.

“We are pretty awesome,” Fred agreed between sips of lemonade. He wasn’t even sure if that was ego talking. Magic was really cool. They had self digging shovels and Narnia closets and all sorts of cool shit. No exaggeration there.

George only smiled, leaned over until his shoulder was flush with Theo’s.

Theo just closed her eyes and leaned against George as well. It was odd, but she felt very much like her family was complete, and more at home than ever.