InsaneJournal

Who: Lara and Sam
What: Lara sneaks into Sam’s bedroom
When: Early morning 10/28
Where: Croft Manor
Status: complete
Rating: PG because it's pretty fluffy
Note: They have no voice!


Being rendered unable to speak had made Lara want to tell Sam more how she felt. The spoon hadn't gone...terribly. Okay she’d been embarrassed and it had been silly but she still hadn’t actually said or done anything to admit her feelings. And now she couldn’t.

Since there weren’t words, there were actions. At least if she couldn’t speak she couldn’t say something stupid, but it might be harder to laugh off anything she did.

She tightened her robe and stared at Sam’s door, hugging her arms as the silence of the house intensified. She’d slipped into Sam’s bed before, but usually both of them at least had tanktops on….

They hadn’t talked much the past couple of days and it was eating Lara up inside. Now they couldn’t talk. She sighed quietly, then pushed the door open.

The inability to talk wasn't bothering Sam as much. It was a cop-out, she knew, but if she couldn't talk to Lara, then that meant she didn't have to, either.

After the spoon incident, she'd had a long talk with both Renji and Rogue, and there were a lot of things that were beginning to be plainly obvious to her. The dreams she'd been having lately didn't exactly steer her off course, either. No, it all lead to Lara.

But she still didn't want to screw it up. Not being able to talk about it was a blessing in disguise.

Except, it really wasn't. She was laying in bed, staring at her wall, with everything unsaid just burning in her brain. Damn her brain. She didn't want it to think.

The door didn't even make a sound when Lara pushed it open, and Sam - too caught up in her own demons to really be paying attention to her surroundings - remained oblivious to the fact that someone else was in the room.

Lara moved quietly. That was a benefit from the dreams, she knew how to step and when to step to avoid making sound. Not that she could if she wanted to. She was mute. But there was Sam, and it was clear as day to Lara. She wanted her best friend. She loved her, and she couldn't bear to be without her. They were doing more damage to their relationship by dancing in circles than if they were just honest with each other.

She sat on the bed, putting a hand on Sam's shoulder and rubbing lightly, trying to reassure her and not scare the bejeebus out of her. Then she slid in behind Sam and spooned against her.

Lara had crawled into bed with Sam so many times now that at first, the scene just felt familiar to her. She snuggled back against her best friend, wondering if Lara had had another one of those horrible dreams and unable to even ask her that.

It was too dark in the room to really turn and give her a questioning look, either, something that might ask her if she was okay. Sam thought she should at least roll over to hug her, offering comfort just in case.

So she did so, and only when the warmth of Lara's naked body pressed up against her camisol did she realise that Lara wasn't wearing anything at all. Of course, the squeak of shock she normally would have let out at this never even made it out of her throat.

She hadn't expected the hug, but she should have, and now she was completely exposed, literally and figuratively. The only cover she had for the color of her face was the darkness. She rested her hand into the small of Sam's back, and stroked her fingers there underneath her camisole.

Her heart pounded in her chest, and her breath came a little quicker than strictly necessary.

Lara did, however have a stroke of brilliance.

She slowly traced the Kanji for 'hello' into Sam's skin, repeating the motion several times so make sure Sam got it.

It didn't hurt that the woman's skin felt wonderful.

The kanji had to be traced a few times before Sam recognized what it was. That was pretty brilliant, she had to agree, though there was no fast way to write out 'you're amazing for thinking of this' in kanji or kana.

She did, however, trace the kanji for 'hello' in return, while wondering absently if they should be spending their waking hours learning sign language. This wasn't the best way to do things, but it worked in a pinch.

Lara swallowed, certain that Sam could hear her heartbeat. It felt like a drumbeat in her chest, and the pace only quickened at Sam's return tracing. She thought she would have moaned, except no sound came out.

She struggled with what to say, or how to say it. She had to be simple. She could do this. It would only change everything, right? This time the tracing took longer. The nearest word she could think of for 'need talk.'

This was overly complicated, and she searched the darkness for any hint to tell her it was okay to greatly simplify matters. There was a language that they could speak without sound, if Lara was brave enough.

She brought her hand up to Sam's face, and stroked at her cheek with the back of her knuckles. It was a very intimate gesture.

It was an intimate gesture, but it wasn't that heartening, reassuring gesture that Sam was looking for. It wasn't accompanied by the words that Sam needed to hear, but that wasn't Lara's fault.

The intent, though, was clear. Sam closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Then she let it out, and pushed her cheek more solidly against Lara's hand. Tears sprung to her eyes, but her throat still made no sound.

Her arms were still around Lara, and she squeezed the woman.

Cheeks wet, Lara continued to stroke Sam's face. The uncertainty was like a chasm between them, one she didn't know how to bridge. Her friend was trembling. Lara pulled Sam closer, the only thing between them a thin cotton fabric. Her breath was a little minty, and so close to Sam's mouth.

There was so much she needed to say. She had the words she finally had the fucking words and now they couldn't come. Her fingers slid farther up Sam's back, and then traced the words into her. She chose the words in Japanese that were rarely used, the kind that weren't spoken often because if you felt that way about someone they already knew.

Aishiteru.

Lara leaned in, lips brushing against Sam's hesitantly. She pressed them together again, trying to speak without words.

Sam was still trembling, even as Lara traced the words into her skin that all at once unraveled her and put her back together, perfectly. She felt like a puzzle that had been missing a piece forever, one that had only just now really realised that she'd been missing that piece. The piece that had always been there if she'd just seen it sooner.

It wasn't any less terrifying, and it certainly didn't make her tears dry. Their lips pressed together - Sam's with more courage than she was really feeling - in a wet, salty, emotional kiss.

Her fingers were shaking too much to write the Kanji in return, but she hoped that her kiss said everything it needed to. I love you too, sweetie. I love you too.