Canaan can't trust her senses (fortheliving) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-10-26 22:52:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, canaan, sigrun gard |
Who: Canaan, Sigrun
What: Getting dinner, chatting.
When: A few weeks back.
Where: An indian restaurant.
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13 for the kind of things two soldiers talk about.
Status: Complete!
The Indian restaurant that Canaan had told Sigrun to meet her at was one of her favorite places to eat. It wasn’t exactly like the food she was used to back home, but it was family owned and operated. They were a nice family that had managed to memorize Canaan’s takeout order after only a few calls, and their prices were reasonable.
She waved at the blonde woman as she walked up. Her own hair had lightened considerably, a change that was new even to her newer friend. It had faded to something between an ash blonde and a platinum blonde, not nearly as yellow toned as Sigrun’s. She hoped the other woman would still recognize her, “Hello.”
Sigrun dressed casually today - which was saying something because she’d pretty much been living in her fatigues lately. Not entirely a bad thing but it did hold her back from relaxing a bit. Something about the mindset that went with the uniform. It really was all in her head some days.
“You changed your hair.” she commented as she located her friend and moved to sit. “Looks good.” she complimented as she sat down and got comfortable. “This place is nice. Thanks for agreeing to be social.” she was poor on social graces this one.
"I'm not sure how social I'll be, I guess we'll have to see," Canaan said, with a smirk. She fingered her own hair, and shrugged a shoulder, "You won't believe this, but my dreams are doing that to me. I tried dying it brown the other day and it stripped out while I slept."
“Even minorly social is more than I need. I mean, I literally am a hermit if I am not at work. How depressing is that?” she asked with a shrug of her shoulder as she looked over the menu. “I have heard a bit of these dreams, but haven’t had any myself. Do they really affect people in such fashions?” she was curious.
"I could tell you stories," Canaan replied, raising both of her eyebrows. She completely understood what it was like, though, to be a hermit outside of work. Her life had been like that for... most of it. Even in the dream world. She turned her eyes toward the menu, "If not for Motoko and my involvement with the fashion industry, I'd probably never leave my house except to eat and work. Having someone else around besides my girlfriend that understands that is really priceless."
"I'm afraid I haven't had any such dreams yet. " She shrugged lightly. Then smiled. If she wasn't working she pretty much did nothing all day. Except to visit the terminal ward once a week or so that is. Her home gym saw her more than any other place did. "I can manage to eat at home so I really don't leave much. But I'm starting to think I need to." Then she laughed. "I truly do understand. "
"It's probably a good thing that you haven't had any dreams, though. Sometimes, the dreams I have show me what I can be and I admire it. Sometimes, they show me what I already am and I just want to run away. And then there's the rest of it." Canaan frowned. She didn't know if she wanted to get into the 'I might have superpowers brought about by biological weaponry' thing. That didn't seem like polite dinner conversation.
"The butter chicken here is really good. You can tell they simmer it for hours."
“Interesting. Part of me is utterly curious. Part of me says don’t tempt fate.” she said laughing softly. “Sounds like they can be reflective, intriguing and troublesome. Oh well, I suppose, come what may, right?” No, talk of super powers wasn’t quite polite dinner conversation. Although really, this place was strange enough to warrant such conversations.
“Ooh that sounds delightful, actually.”
"A lot of people talk about the dreams like the person in them looks like them, but someone completely different. The me in the dreams doesn't look like me, but we think a lot alike. So I guess they're very reflective, yes. And troubling. But you'll handle them just fine if you start getting them."
Canaan nodded her head, like she was certain of that fact, "I believe you could handle just about anything. I think I'll have that, with some basmati rice... and the naan bread with a side of raita. They have a really good chutney for dipping, too."
“Thanks. I’m sure I will manage them as I manage everything else.” she smiled at her friend. Sigrun believed her when she said she’d be okay. Not much really threw her for a loop anyways. Not after seeing what humanity did in Afghanistan and Iraq. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts and grinned.
“Now I’m practically drooling, Canaan! Order naan for both of us, and the basmati is a must have. It’s gonna be a good dinner huh?” she grinned.
"It'll be a feast that's almost as good as something we'd get over there. I haven't found a place that cooks Afghani food, or we'd be eating there." Canaan chuckled and set her menu down, "I tried cooking some once. I don't really want to try that again."
The food she remembered from home was hard to describe. It was an odd fusion of greek, indian, and other middle eastern cuisines. Canaan was at a loss trying to describe it to other people, "I think I look back on it with some rose-tinted glasses, though. What you remember as delicious, it's hard to always re-construct."
Sigrun smiled softly, knowingly. “You’d think there’d be an Afghani place. What I wouldn’t give for a street vendor selling kabobs.” She sighed happily at the memory. “It’s hard to cook foods you love that aren’t family recipes. Especially since we really do lack a good Tandoor and the way they cook over there is so much different than here. I don’t think it translates well.” she said after a moment, too.
“I’ve been so many places, eaten so many styles of food, but I never try to replicate them. I know I can’t do it. I wasn’t raised making it.”
"The best thing I can do is make coffee with camping supplies," Canaan admitted, her tone fond - if a bit sad, "But I don't have the recipes, or the special ovens like the Tandoor, or even the spices they use over there. Though I did notice that some of the more rare spices are turning up in international markets now."
She waved the waiter over and rattled off their order, then turned back to Sigrun, "Even then, I wouldn't trust a recipe from somewhere like Food Network. And I burn things. It's pathetic. If takeout didn't exist I'd probably starve. But of course now I'm drooling for some authentic kebab."
"Never look down on the power of coffee with camping supplies. Its a talent and I can't. I can do tea though." Sigrun grinned a bit. "I was thinking of getting a real Tandoor put in at home. Hand made and all that but I am not sure I can cook with one. "
"Maybe next time I go back i’ll bring a notebook and talk to some folk and get how they make things. ...right from them."
"I wonder how much it would cost to get your kitchen set up like that," Canaan thought aloud.
She liked the idea of getting some recipes from the locals, and nodded her head, "I think even with handwritten recipes I'd probably ruin it, but if you got some written down and installed the right things in your kitchen, I think I'd want to help you try and cook something. I can at least track down the ingredients."
“Probably a lot. But it’s not like I spend money. I’ve sat on my savings for a good decade now.” she laughed a bit. “And since I buy a lot of things when I’m overseas, I’m really not making a dent in my paychecks.” she shrugged a bit.
“I might, but at least, I’ll have a better chance of not ruining it with the way locals make it. It’s rarely a straightforward recipe anyways, it’s an idea. Maybe I’ll do it just to do something with my house. It’s just this big open floor plan and I have extra room to play with. If I manage it you’re welcome to come try.”
"I'd really like that. Though I'm warning you that I may end up setting your house on fire," Canaan joked. She remembered then that she'd made something for Sigrun, though she wasn't sure if the other woman would appreciate it or not. She was a little nervous as she reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a white square box.
"I made this. It was sort of a gut feeling of mine, but I hope that if you don't like it you'll at least appreciate the spirit of it."
It was a box meant to hold jewelry, one someone might get when buying things that were handmade at market stalls. Inside of it, sitting on a cushion of packed gauze, was a necklace. Canaan had been sure to put it on a long chain so that it could be tucked into shirts, though the length was adjustable. At the end of the chain was a cylinder, one that she'd carved and casted out of silver herself. It was pretty, but not overly decorated - simple, yet elegant. There was a groove around the top that indicated it might come off.
“I doubt you’ll burn my house down. Anyways there’s a fire department for a reason.” she laughed softly then settled back to sip her glass of water. She watched Canaan pull out the box and smiled. “Oh is that my present?” she asked curiously.
“I’m sure I’ll love it.” she said in reply to her nervousness about it.
She took the box and opened it carefully, slender fingers carefully plucked up the chain and held the necklace so she could see it better. She turned the cylinder over in her fingers, examining it and taking note of the simplicity, but how it made it that much nicer. Sigrun wasn’t much of a complicated type. So simple was perfect. She ran her finger along the groove and looked up at Canaan.
"We travel a lot," Canan tried to explain. She was still nervous, but tried to fight that off with a smile, "Sometimes it feels like you don't have a home, or it feels like you're far away from it. It's a container. You can screw that top off, there, and keep a little bit of dirt from home in it. For me, that was the buckets of sand you brought back with you, but for you, it's probably something else."
Sigrun smiled warmly at her. There was nothing but utter enjoyment in her face. Sigrun truly loved the gift. “I love it, this is beautiful and perfect. I can take a little piece of home with me when I go.” she ran her fingers over it once more before moving to put it on, settling it for the moment between her collar bones. “This is perfect, and beautifully made. Thank you. Truly.” she was actually awed. She rarely got gifts and she was blown away by this.
"Oh good." Canaan grinned, relieved that Sigrun was that happy with her gift, "I was scared that you'd find it a little too sentimental. But I wanted to do something for you. It seems silly - you weren't going to do anything with that sand anyway - but having something from an area more familiar to me was important."
She smiled again. “I completely understand. Having something familiar is always important and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I truly am glad I was able to give you something that you were able to feel connected to.” she tilted her head. “And sentimentality is not a bad thing. I rarely embrace the little things, it is a remind that I need to.”
"Sometimes, the little things are all you get to embrace," Canaan replied, somewhat sadly. She was glad that their waiter came by with drinks, wedges of butter naan and chutney for dipping. It gave her something to momentarily distract herself from her own emotions, "My... father, would have laughed at how sentimental I get. I think he viewed emotions as a double edged sword. He rarely showed them, but you'd know you made him proud. He had a way of softening his voice when he was happy with you."
She smiled a bit. “My family is very sentimental. I’m the odd one out. I don’t get that way very often.” she took a bit of naan. “They remember their homeland, and foster their memories in me - never could escape that. And I ended up less than emotional about it. Then when I joined the marines, I was never in one place long enough to get sentimental.” she smiled faintly, then nodded.
"Siam was the only family I really had. He was less sentimental than me, or..." Canaan pondered that, dipping some naan into the chutney sauce idly, "Perhaps he was more sentimental, but in a different way. He had a certain way of looking at the world, at combat. All of that. It wasn't just a soldier's way. He had a way of romanticising parts of it but being straightforward about other parts. It was like... A code he had."
Sigrun nodded. “I understand, I view things in certain lights others wouldn’t. I see both the adventure and the duty, the details, the tactics - while finding myself unable to do anything but talk up the travel and some things, honor and so on.” she tried to get it out the way it was in her head. It wasn’t perfect but it was close.
Canaan nodded, "Siam focused a lot on the emotions behind why we do things. He reminded me all the time that you couldn't kill hatred with hatred. When you approach an enemy in combat, there are emotions you can feel - respect for their skill. Desperation for your own survival. But you can't hate them. You can never counter hatred with hatred, he'd always say."
“Hatred infects you, and causes you to make errors you wouldn’t normally. Siam sounds like a wise man, honestly.” Sigrun said quietly as she nibbled on her naan. “I was always taught to respect the enemy, even though they are trying to kill me.”
"I think it's one of the tribes native to North America that states that you should love your enemy, because then you'll take more care when you kill them. To aim with mercy, go for the quick kill, and not miss." Canaan pursed her lips a bit and then shook her head, "This is a really morbid thing to talk about. We're supposed to be moving our focus away from death after the day you've had."
Sigrun laughed softly. “I do not mind. I admit my life revolves around death, and trouble. It’s hard to avoid it when I swear it is the only thing I know about anymore.” she said with a shake of her head, sitting back as their food came. “Sometimes I wish I were my colleagues. Many have gone on to private sector work, a lot of money and less risk. But then I think, I’d miss the hunt. The unknown.”
"I think it probably depends on what you're doing in the private sector," Canaan replied, mystically. The food smelled so delicious that it was hard to ignore the rumbling in her gut. Naan hadn't really filled her up at all.
She dug into her butter chicken, making a few happy noises about the taste of it, then nodded her head as she swallowed, "That's so good that it's deceptive. You can almost pretend that it's right."
Sigrun tucked into her meal with a stomach that could eat for weeks if given half the chance. After all, she learned to eat her fill when she could because no meal was ever guaranteed. “Is that so?” a brow arched upwards at her friend with that curious look.
“This is wonderful. Almost, almost like it wasn’t Americanized. Almost. But delicious nonetheless.” she was enjoying good food, company and curious conversations.
"MMm." Canaan grunted in reply. She didn't pick up the conversation until she'd tucked in quite a bit of the food, as well. Eating in silence didn't bother her in the slightest. Like Sigrun, she'd been taught to eat when there was warm food to be had.
Eventually she leaned back in her chair and patted her stomach, "It's the closest I've ever come to eating overseas. At least until you have a Tandoor put in."
Sigrun ate her way through her plate. Both neatly and efficiently. She wasn’t one to make a mess or leave anything left on her plate. "That was delicious." She looked up at Canaan with a smile. "I think I'll really get that done. I’ll stick to traditional too, handmade clay one. Not a modern one of steel or what not."
Then a slow smile. "As much as I love my job I'm wondering if it's time to retire again."
"Retire, you?" Canaan arched a brow. She was a little amused by the thought, and it showed on her face. She took a sip of her lassi, then shook her head, "You volunteered to come back, didn't you? If I understand your internet posts. And you'll get bored. We already go a little crazy when the houseplants aren't trying to kill us."
She laughed. "Well they reinstated me after not a lot of convincing." She grinned a bit. "I would but I'm also getting too old to chase people around the world. I don't bounce back like I used to. '" She frowned then shook Her head. "Sad but true. I wonder what crazy will hit us next."
"It's hard to find people that are as dedicated as you are, so I think they were probably relieved you gave them a call."
Canaan tried to think of her own body, and her age. She wasn't exactly young anymore, not a teen like she'd been when she'd first starting doing what she did for a living. Still, she kept in shape, and she didn't believe in benching someone just for being a bit older, "If you can still do what you need to do, it doesn't matter if it takes a little more time to bounce back. You're still good at it, you're still willing to get out there. But I do wonder what kind of crazy we'll have next, too. At least if you did retire Orange County would keep you entertained. I just think you're not there yet. You'll really know when you are."
“Thanks, Canaan.” Sigrun said softly as she sat back and folded her napkin on her lap. “It’s weird to admit all these things to someone other than my wall.” she laughed softly. “I’m not much of an open person, if you haven’t noticed.” she said with a smile as she looked across at her friend. “It feels good.” she laughed.
"I'm not... usually that open, either," Canaan admitted, a bit sheepishly.
She thought back to Maria again, and nodded her head a bit, "But I think it's important to have a few people in your life that you can speak to like that. Before you showed up, that was only Motoko for me, and now that we're... close... there are things I can't share with her as easily."
“Then we are good for each other.” she smiled at her friend. “You’ll never have to worry about me judging you or anything of the sort. We’re very much alike in that regard.” she smiled a bit before pushing hair out of her eyes and tilting her head. “Thank you, for everything.”
"Anytime." Canaan got up from her seat and picked up the check, "We should make a tradition of it. Maybe a once-a-month thing."
She pulled out her wallet, giving Canaan the side eye. “We should. It’d be good for us.” she smiled though and left enough to cover the entire thing plus tip. “Keep in touch, will you?” she asked before nodding and waving good bye to her and heading out to her car. Today had been a lovely idea and she was feeling better now.