The Tomb Raider (lara) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-10-26 16:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, lara croft, renji abarai |
"What do you think her best feature is? Physical, personality. Both?"
Who: Lara and Renji
What: Blunt advice
When: 10/26
Where: Croft Manor
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13 for Renji
A ravenously hungry Renji was sitting in the kitchen, mowing down on a gigantic bowl of ramen noodles, with boiled egg halves, beef slices, and some green veggies floating in it. Nothing spicy. Normal old salty beef broth. And by ‘gigantic’ we mean it was the size of a large serving bowl, like one puts punch in, for parties.
Yes, he will lift it to his lips and guzzle the broth down at some point. It’s either that, or he’s going to use a ladle. This is a sad but true fact. There was a large swath of noodles that connected his chewing mouth to the bowl.
“There’s leftovers in the fridge, you know,” Lara said as she entered the kitchen. She gave him a smile, and moved to the fridge to get herself a drink. Ever since the spoon incident she and Sam hadn’t talked much, and she was still thinking about what to say. Except she wasn’t and she was focusing more than ever on her expedition. She sat at a table and opened a book on international law.
"....uhh...I might've thrown the containers back in there, but the leftovers’re gone," Renji said, as soon as he gulped down a mouthful of noodles. And, indeed, your fridge has been raiding again and there is money slapped down on the kitchen counter, for groceries. "Like, twenty minutes ago. Wasn't enough. That's why I made this stuff." He paused and smirked like an asshat before he said, like he was OH SO FORGETFUL, "Oh. No. Maybe I need to grab a SPOON for this."
He gave her a staring at like she was bonkers before eyeing her book. He couldn't ask what that was about, quite yet. That was because he was stuffing his face with the last of the noodles. Give it a mo so the awkward can set in, since Renji thinks he's funny but no, he's actually the suck.
“Dishwasher,” she pointed out, with a soft laugh. “That’s okay.” She got up to get him a spoon, and put it on the table next to him. And then a few napkins, because he needed at least ‘a few.’
“Later shift today?” Cue awkward conversation!
Well? That thing about him knowing about 'the spoon incident' went out the window. He stared at the spoon with heavy-eyelids, then shook his head. If it wasn't for the fact that he was hungry as hell, he would have probably gave her a big fat what the hell. But no, that did not happen.
Instead, he left the spoon there and picked up the bowl, teetering it carefully so he didn't pour the broth around the sides of his head, and started slurping it down. He had to pause and yes, use a napkin, so that's when he answered.
"...yeah. But, eh. It's a job. I get away with all sorts of crap, so I can't complain." He eyed the book she had in front of her and pointed at it. "What's that."
“A law book,” she said, giving him a quizzical look at the lack of using utensils with his meal. “When you dig in another country, there are permits and laws you have to follow. The country of origin gets full ownership of most artifacts, as well. You have to be really careful.”
Oh good god...soul king...whatever. She had no idea he knew about the spoon gift copper flower awkward thing, but that was probably a good thing. He had already shot his big mouth off at Rangiku and Sam, causing his own awkward.
"Huh. That sucks that you dig it up but someone else keeps it." He was reminded of someone else who was stuffy and all about law and order, even if it was kicking their family member in the head...or was going to kill them. He looked steamed for a few seconds and then used the spoon to start scooping out some of the meet and veggies so the broth would be easier to drink down.
He put two and two together and actually got a number that made sense, even by his low deduction standards, "You goin' to another country to dig up some old crap?"
"A lot of times there are deals to display in museums. Like they're on loan. It's really only fair, think of how much was stolen in the last few centuries?" Lara marked her place to give him more attention. "Yes. I will be, at least. Several places. Hopefully very many."
She was grateful no one else was talking about the spoon thing. Sam had thought it was hysterical, and that had...hurt a little.
Renji would have told her to do the jumping naked into bed thing, since that was the blunt approach. And he is all about the blunt approach. Even he warned her against the spoon! He used to mow the lawns of little old ladies who collected tiny silver spoons and thimbles and all sorts of crap like that, and guess what? THEY WERE LIVING ALONE. DO NOT GIVE SPOONS, LARA. Bad! Smack you on the nose with a newspaper, he will!
"If ya dig it up, then ya should be able to keep the shit, or at least some of it. It's not really on loan if they're saying it's theirs anyway. Pfft. Laws are friggin' dumb sometimes." He was practically stabbing the spoon into the bowl. It was a very angry motion. It was also making a mess. He would clean it up, but only after he gets done slaying it. "I thought you didn't have access to the money, and that's why you had to get us roommates."
She was actually considering the blunt thing, if she and Sam continued to have issues communicating…
“Well, you can make arrangements for that too. That’s why I’m looking up international law. But some laws are different in different countries. It’s all really confusing, mostly. And I don’t. But I’ve been raising funds. Sam helped me out with this fundraiser.” She grinned, just thinking about it. “God she looked fantastic. She was able to smooze with the best of them and we got some funding. Not enough, yet, but every bit helps!”
Renji looked vastly amused to hear that, but - as usual - he wasn't thinking when he shot his mouth off (again), "Heh! I think the problem is you spent too much time noticing how she looked and not enough time with raising money. If you need it, why not hit up some big investor or a rich asshole with money to throw around, like Captauuuughhhhh..." He stopped short and his eyes bugged out. It was dead quiet. He was not moving. He stared at her, still bug eyed, and then explained, "Uhh...got something stuck in my throat."
He coughed once. It sounded fake. Like someone trying to stay home from school when they were eight years old, because it was the day of the big spelling test.
"...anyway. Byakuya Kuchiki has a ton of money. I know because I hung out with his sister for a little while. Maybe you can ask him and he'll fund it. He was always into calligraphy and keeping of history and crap like that." Another long pause. "Uhh. Not that I'd know for sure, it's what I heard. That's all."
He’s not awkward at all either. Nope. Not one bit.
“I wasn’t staring at Sam! Not that much. Okay I did put her in that dress as my phone’s wallpaper. Anyway, I did pretty good myself, but then I get too enthusiastic when talking about potential finds.” She worried she scared people off. “You really think he’d be interested?”
Next time there was awkward, Renji reminded himself to simply say something about Sam and Lara would totally overlook it. Nooooooooooooooo problem.
"Uh huh. You do geek out a lot." He shrugged a little. "I can't ask him myself. I keep saying all the wrong things around him and so he thinks I'm some kinda insane druggie or whatever. And I think his sister is pissed at me too...." Because of the stupid dumbass dream things. He's never talking about that again. "...so I can't ask her either. But I know he's into classy stuff and likes all that cultural heritage shit. Yeah, I think he'd be interested. But he takes some getting used to. That guy's colder than cold and will pretty much act like you're a bug that soiled the sole of his shoe if he stepped on you and happened to notice."
There was a long pause when Renji realized that sounded like he was too familiar in a personal sense, and he gave Lara a wry look before trying out his new super plan: "So I bet Sam looked hot in her dress. You should have her fundraise more often. She’s probably really good at it."
Renji stared at Lara, expectantly. Because she's supposed to start gushing again and ignore any of HIS weird, because it was a metric shit ton easier to concentrate on her weird. C'mon. Do it.
"Well I'm pretty sure you aren't a druggie," Lara reassured him. She could work with people like his friend, a lot easier than other kinds of people. His trick worked, because her grin grew. "You should have seen her. She had them wrapped around her little finger."
That his trick worked was pretty sad. And it's HIS trick and it worked, so that's saying something about the low level of skill, when Renji was never considered the smartest person among his peers, even his friends in the Shinigami Academy OR his own captain. Hell, even Ichigo would say Renji was kinda dumb sometimes. He was cocky and smug, but also not the sharpest crayon in the box.
Which was probably the reason he was sitting there with his mouth hanging open a bit, in a look of disbelief.
"Would you fuck around with her and get it over with," he said, suddenly, and without thinking. "Because I can't believe you friggin' fell for that."
He did not even notice that he just TOLD HER what his stupid DIVERSION TACTIC was.
Lara's mouth hung open. "I wasn't...fell for what? I can't just shag her!" Why did everyone keep telling her to jump in bed with Sam. This was Sam, if she lost her she didn't know what she'd do. But god she wanted her, like burning.
"It's not just about sex. At least it shouldn't be. But I need to tell her, and I don't know how to without ruining everything." She picked up her book and squeezed it for comfort.
"How about telling her and get it over with, before someone uses it against you," Renji said, because he constantly thought of stuff as a face off or a battle in progress, the more and more those dreams happened to him. It wasn't even the sly way of thinking, but more of the abrupt and head-butt it way of going about things. "How the hell're you supposed to even concentrate on your laws about digging up old broken crap if you've got Sam on the brain. Not that I can blame you, because she's cute. I'm not interested, but I'm not fuggin' dead and I'm a guy. So I can see why. Duh."
"What do you think her best feature is? Physical, personality. Both?" She leaned forward, turning things back onto him. She was mostly curious, since Sam tended to attract all kinds of guys.
"Both." It wasn't really turning things back on him, at all. Not since Renji tended to do the blunt get-it-over-with thing, since this kind of thing? Well, it wasn't a big deal to him. It wasn’t even a blip on his radar. He wasn't a romantic at heart, and he didn't go around swooning over anyone. He was thick skulled and stubborn, and not looking for any hook ups. "Everyone likes a fun girl. She's pretty, she’s cute, she's fun, and she seems to get along with everyone. That's what attracts guys to girls like that. Or if they're tough as fuck, either with their attitude or physically, but that's just one of my personal likes. It doesn't mean I want to go dry humping two seconds after I meet someone. I'm usually too damn busy to notice much other than what I'm focused on, anyway."
Relationship stuff was a lower rung on the ladder for Renji, if not the lowest rung. He had a lot of other things that required his concentration, because it took that much more for him to figure stuff out. And Orange County was weird and getting weirder for him.
He picked up his giant bowl and started guzzling the broth down.
“Yeah, that pretty much describes her. She’s a lot deeper than that too, she just doesn’t let a lot of people see it.” Lara could understand why. Sam kept people at arm’s length, because she’d grown up moving around so much. “Some days it’s easy to ignore, other days I can’t get her out of my head. It’s why I’m focusing so much on other things.”
"You mean trying to focus on other things," Renji pointed out, not so helpfully, after he drained the bowl. Yes, the entire bowl. Then he sat back and patted a hand on his stomach. "That doesn't mean you're being successful at it. You never know what's going to happen if you're afraid to leap out and grab at it, before it's gone."
Like he had in his dreams with Rukia, but he was the one who had let her go, after all. It was better that way.
"So tell Sam and go contact Byakuya. See what he says," Renji said, like that was final. “Do whatever first. It’s up to you anyway.”
She thought about it, then nodded her head. "Okay, I'll pay your friend a visit. I need to get that out of the way anyway. And thanks for the advice. If I come crying on you it's your fault." Lara gave him a grin as she got up.
"Hey! Wait!" Renji held up a hand, looking a bit mind boggled that she would just go running off like that, since it's not what he meant by leaping in that instance, only the Sam stuff! "If it's Byakuya, you aren't gonna make it through the front door. He's got ninjas and shit. Uhh....not real ninjas...here...I bet, but...uhh...he's probably got armed bodyguards and a secretary and maids with knives and personal servants and all sorts of crap I can't even imagine."
Renji wanted to say that Byakuya didn't have -him- there, but the thought stung a bit, even if he wasn't taking into account that Byakuya didn't remember him. Not that it would matter. He'd probably treat him the same, anyway.
"You gotta make an appointment, or...I don't know, look up his business number on his profile and call it, first? I'm guessing." It was an educated guess. "Just guessing." Riiiiiiiiight. "Guessing." Uh huh. "I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" And now he's yelling and protesting too much.
"Something tells me I could handle your average rent-a-ninja," Lara quipped, but she straightened, raisin her eyebrows. "I'll give him a call and see if he's got an opening this afternoon. Are you all right?"
"I'M FINE!" bellowed Renji, sounding and looking absolutely not fine, but that's his answer and he's sticking to it. "GOOD LUCK!"