Cyclops was right and he wishes he wasn't (cyclopswasright) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-10-26 10:33:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, emma frost (white queen), scott summers (cyclops) |
This is a good start
Who: Emma and Scott
What: Talking things through
When: A few nights ago
Where: Summers Residence
Status: Complete
Rating: PG
Emma was exhausted. She’d spent most of the day crying, and the rest of the day trying to be friendly with Thor. He was a good friend, but there wasn’t anyone who could make her feel better after the day she’d had.
Well, nobody who seemed inclined to, anyway. She wondered when Scott would come home, and wished she could drink. Instead she went upstairs to start a bath. She hoped Kitty was out, she didn’t want to disrupt Kitty’s life more than she already had. She felt like a liar. She’d promised Kitty a stable home, and then she wasn’t able to deliver.
Mostly she felt like a failure. For whatever reason Scott didn’t trust her, and every day brought some new thing that made her feel like he didn’t care about her feelings, or value her as a partner. She was going to have their child in two months and she’d never been more unsure of their relationship.
She ran the bath for herself. She lit candles and grabbed her favorite book. She hoped it would help her relax, and maybe when Scott got home they could talk to each other like human beings, instead of the crappy behavior they’d displayed recently.
Scott had buried himself in work, which was his default setting when he needed sjUome mental brain space, but he’d had to leave eventually. He even left a little early, and cleared his brainspace some more. Between the beach and the chocolate, he felt a little more human, and able to face...people again.
His thoughts were conflicted, his emotions raw, but he never doubted that he loved Emma. If you couldn’t get upset with your family, then what use was a family?
He parked his car in the driveway and got out, looking at the house with a sigh. Then he walked inside and headed to the kitchen, setting some brownies on the table and getting some milk.
I’m home.
I'm in a bath. I'll be down soon. She sighed, leaning back to wash her hair. She'd give Scott a little more space. He could come up if he wanted, but she wouldn't press the issue.
He didn’t want to press the issue either. But he did look at the brownies - regular, non-special brownies, then break out some whipped topping. It wasn’t so much a bribe as another peace offering.
Emma finished washing her hair and sighed. Getting out of the tub was always difficult these days. She decided not to risk falling, turning to diamond before she started to get up. It was still awkward, but she managed to keep her balance and avoid slipping on the tile floor. She switched back and wrapped her hair up in a towel, then grabbed Scott’s bathrobe. Her own no longer fit. Even Scott’s robe barely went around her belly.
She decided she’d be more comfortable if she put on clothing. If Kitty and her children were elsewhere Emma wouldn’t care, but God forbid she run into anyone but Scott while running around the house in just a robe.
It didn’t take long for her to get dressed, but she was extremely careful going down the stairs.
Scott looked up as she came down the stairs, his smile a little tight. "Have a good bath? I had some brownies left over, if you want some."
“It was okay.” Emma said, her expression neutral. “I’m still not in the mood for sweets, but thank you for the thought.” She wasn’t sure she could eat anything at all right now. “Would you like a cup of tea? I think that’s the limit of my appetite right now.”
“I’ll make it,” he said. “Maybe I should have made them special brownies.” His smile loosened as he moved to make lazy tea by nuking a couple mugs of water.
Emma snorted. “I actually expected you to come home high after spending time with Lorna.” She didn’t want to sit, but she didn’t want to stand, either. This would be so much easier for everyone if she wasn’t pregnant. “I want an apology, Scott.” She tried to keep her voice even, but remembering what he’d said made her angry and hurt all over again.
"No, I wanted to have a clear head, but it needed to be an unassisted clear head." He folded his hands on the table in front of him, face inscrutable. Sometimes his glasses gave him a useful poker face.
Scott sighed. Of course she'd start with demands. It turned this into a battle when it didn't need to be. He was going to apologize, she didn't need to demand it.
"I'm sorry, Emma. I didn't want to hurt you, I never meant to and I never want to. But I sneeze wrongly and you yell at me. I can't do anything right, or well enough or in a way that pleases you lately. What do I need to do?"
“I’m sorry that I’ve been difficult.” Emma said cooly. “It seems like the second things get back to normal there’s some other damn thing and I don’t know how to react anymore. I admit that my feelings of jealousy about Jean were irrational, and that got us off to a bad start. I don’t like the way you spoke to Nate in that network post, but that’s as solved as it’s going to get, and at least you both tried. I feel like I can never predict how you’ll react, or what you’ll say.”
"We've both been difficult," Scott replied. He wish she'd sit, she looked so awkward just standing there. "Emma, sit, please. It'll be easier to talk if we're eye level."
“It’s uncomfortable.” Emma admitted. “We should take our tea to the living room, it’ll be less of a pain in the ass for me.” Literally, in this case. “Did everything go okay with Jean?”
“Better than I expected.” He got up and grabbed the tea, bringing it out into the other room and setting the mugs on the coffee table.
Emma followed along, sighing as she sat on the couch. "That's good. Do you feel better on that front, at least?"
“Yeah, I guess. I had pretty much written the idea off, so the text was a surprise.” Scott picked up his tea to sip it. “I just didn’t want to… mess it up further with her.”
Emma nodded, turning a little to face him. “I understand. I wanted to give you the opportunity to make amends. The rest is out of your hands, but I’m certain she’ll want to talk to you when the dreams begin.” She didn’t have the emotional energy to be jealous of that anymore. Jean would need someone to talk to, and Scott was a good choice.
“I don’t want to talk about her anymore,” Scott said, quietly. “What’s done is done.” He reached over and took her hand.
“Okay.” Emma nodded, squeezing his hand. “The plans for the school seem to be going well. I’ll need to contact Wrex about some of the things I’d like to do, but I think that kind of heavy duty planning will need to wait until Faith is born.”
“Good.” Scott grinned at her. He was happy she’d found something like that, and he was just going to step aside and trust her to handle it, because he knew she could, and he knew she needed to know that he knew she could.
Scott’s grin finally got Emma to smile. Her shoulders relaxed, and she stroked his face softly. “I’m hoping to have it ready by next fall.”
“If you need anything, or need me to...actually scratch that.” He laughed. “It’s probably better I don’t try anything that involved talking to people.”
Emma snorted. “I’ll let you handle Wrex if I ever catch him in a bad mood. You’re more used to manipulating him than I am.” She scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “We’re idiots, love.”
“Yeah...we kind of are.” He put his arms around her. “I just feel like sometimes I’m alone, even when I’m not.”
“I wish having telepathy made it easier to avoid arguments instead of harder. Is there anything I can do so you won’t feel alone?” That hurt, but there was no sense in yelling at him for it. He couldn’t help how he felt, and the only way to resolve it was to work with him for a solution.
“This is a good start,” he said, feeling like he could talk to her again, for some inexplicable reason. “It’s crazy, but sometimes it’s better to just talk, rather than use telepathy.”
“We need to communicate more, regardless of the medium.” Emma said softly.
“Yes.” He rested a hand on her belly, closing his eyes and concentrating on the being they’d created together. “I love you, Emma. I’m sorry.”
She put her hand on top of his sighing softly. “I’m sorry too. I think we should have something to eat, have sex, shower, and go out to do something nice together tomorrow.”
“How about we eat, and do something nice together tomorrow.” While he still wanted her, and his thoughts were very clear on that, he more wanted to spend quality time with her.
“I’d really like to have sex with you. I feel like there’s been so much distance between us, and-” She stopped and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, whatever you want to do is fine.”
Scott put his finger on Emma’s lips. I want that too, but I think we can have the nice date first, right?
Emma laughed softly, wrapping her lips around the tip of his finger and sucking lightly. Whatever you want. She could go one more night without sex. Probably.
Emma was cheating, but Scott didn’t mind. He traced her cheekbone with his thumb. “You know how to really make a man reconsider his options.”
“I’m a terrible person, but you already knew that.” She smiled, stroking her fingers through his hair. “But I promise not to molest you until after our date. Where would you like to go?”
Scott chuckled. “Something terribly mundane. When was the last time we saw a movie?”
“The last time there was a good movie out.” Emma countered with a laugh. “Beside, I’m not sure I can sit still for two hours. How about something mildly active? We’ve never gone minigolfing.”
“Minigolfing is a bit like pool. You don’t stand a chance,” he said, grinning at her.
“Honestly if I make it through the whole course I’ll consider that a win.” She chuckled. Losing to Scott in a game didn’t matter to her. “We’ll come home after that and I’ll beat you at Scrabble.”
“You’re much better at scrabble than I am, so that’s only fair,” Scott replied, laughing.
“The only benefit of a degree in English, I assure you.” She liked to hear his laugh. Maybe just sitting here and talking all night would be more fun than sex, anyway. “I do love you, Scott, even if I’m shit at showing it sometimes.”
“I’m not exactly the most well-rounded person either.” Coping mechanisms? He had none!
“Well, put us together and we’re more or less a whole, well rounded person.” She laughed a little. “I hope Faith shares our desire to help others. That’s the one value I want her to pick up from us if she can’t take on any other.”
“That’s probably the only value I want her to pick up from us,” he countered.
“What? You don’t want her to be an arrogant, opinionated, stubborn, workaholic?” Emma asked playfully.
“Well the last three are fine too. I think we need more humbleness in our lives,”
“I’m not sure either of us would be as successful in our careers if we were humble. You have to be arrogant to be a leader. Not so much so that you never listen to anyone else, but you must be certain you’re making the right decision, especially when there are no good options.” She shrugged. “Beside, I feel like humble people get taken advantage of and walked all over. I’d rather avoid that if at all possible.”
“Maybe Faith just needs to have balance,” Scott replied, acknowledging his wife.
"I can certainly agree with that." Emma said softly. "I hope we've regained ours." She moved his head a little closer, kissing him softly. After everything she wanted him to know for sure that she loved him.
As he kissed Emma back, Scott changed his mind. He wanted to make love with his wife, and reconnect with her.
Silly man. Her mental voice was teasing. I love you. She slowly broke the kiss and got to her feet. "Let's just go to bed and see what happens."