Ariel (defectedfromgod) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-10-24 21:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, ariel, elizabeth swann |
Who: Ariel and Elizabeth Swann
What: Dream fallout
When: 10/22
Where: Ariel's shop
Rating/Warning: PG for religious imagery and smooching :)
Status: Complete
Ariel wasn’t at all certain that he’d managed to fob off Elizabeth - she was a persistent sort of young thing - but all he could do was keep the shop door shut and just pace. Pace the shop floor, pace the staircase, everything. He kept replaying the dreams from the previous night, in awful, terrifying technicolor. When losing the love of one’s life wasn’t even the worst thing in your head on any given night, it was a special sort of terror. His dream self bidding Helena goodbye was cringeworthy. The woman who loved him, gone, and his soul, no longer his own. It shook him to the core.
Persistence was a trait that was ingrained in Elizabeth, and she thought that Ariel shouldn't be alone right now. Why she thought that she didn't know, but she did. She stood outside his shop and knocked. "Ariel?"
He didn’t notice her at first, but eventually, the knocking got hard to ignore. He looked up, raising an eyebrow. Damnation. “Elizabeth.” He knew she wouldn’t go away until they spoke, so he managed to drag himself over to the shop door, letting her inside. “What brought you down here?”
“A taxi,” she replied, stepping past him and resting her hand on his arm. “I got a little worried. I wanted to make sure you were all right. I wanted to help.” She gave him her most stubborn pout.
He sighed. He’d halfway anticipated this, and honestly, it made him like her all the more, but there was just nothing she could do, and he said as much. “My biggest problem is dream-related, Elizabeth, so I don’t really think so, unfortunately. Though you’ve got the will to take on dreams if you were so able.” He smiled a little.
“My dreams aren’t bad at all, so why don’t you let me carry some of the burden.” She tugged on his arm, thinking they could grab a drink and chat because he looked rather rattled.
“You’re very lucky, in that case.” Ariel sighed. “Quite honestly, you’ll think I’m mad.” Hell. He sort of thought he was mad. He hadn’t been religious since he was a young boy, but this dream made him realize there was something to it. He could still feel the devil’s spidery fingers, sense his fetid breath.
"I saw pirates," she said, cheerfully. "I grew up in Port Royal. It felt so real, like this other life. Either wishful thinking, or the same as everyone else. So I don't think I'll find you mad."
“I understand, but this is ... I don’t know. I feel hollow. It’s as if I left something in my dream.” Ariel tried to find the words. “I woke up feeling like I’d seen a death in my family before my eyes.”
“Are they okay?” She looked up into his face, eyes full of stubborn concern. “Did you call them?”
“Yes, though it was far later than I normally do. My daughter’s mother was furious.” Ariel sighed. “She wasn’t in the dreams. Someone else was.”
“Someone else?” Thus far the only people from her dreams that were in the waking world was her father, and one of the maids. Everyone else she hadn’t yet met. “At least they’re all okay.”
“I suppose, yes. And the woman in my dreams was one I’ve never seen before. She was apparently my dream self’s lover, and she’d searched the world to find me. Him.” Pronouns were just annoying right now.
“... Did she find you? Him?” As soon as she finished talking, her eyes widened. A death in the family. “Oh no…”
“She threw herself in the river.” Ariel closed his eyes. “Dream me didn’t find out immediately, but I saw - ” His voice hitched, and he coughed to clear it. “I saw her do it in the dream. Because my dream self told her to go away.” Part of him thought it was a silly gesture, overdramatic like something out of a Bronte novel, but part of him ached, feeling nothing so much as pity.
“That wasn’t your fault, Ariel.” They were hollow words and she knew it, but she felt they had to be said. “Even if she was told to go away, it was her choice to do that. And really, it’s a terrible thing to do, kill yourself. Think about the people you’d leave behind?”
“It is terrible. But it ... I don’t know. It’s horrible.” He felt sick. “I can’t help but feel responsible.”
“That’s what makes you a good man, but you can’t let it eat you up.” Her hand moved down to his, and she squeezed it lightly.
“My dreams are getting more frightening, is all.” He looked at her. “Elizabeth, that isn’t even the worst part. I made a deal with the devil. Dreams sometimes bleed over - I’ve no idea what will and won’t. He could be on his way here to take me, for all I’m aware.”
She looked taken aback, then straightened her shoulders. “Well we won’t let him. The devil can be tricked. We just have to find the right way.”
He looked at her for a moment. “I must admit, your optimism is something approaching wondrous.” He just wasn’t that optimistic by nature, never mind the frightening dream and the headache. “But in the interests of full disclosure - my dream self encountered Mephistopheles in a dark wood, and was taken to his castle. It was beautiful, full of treasures, of books and beautiful people. He offered me this for life - and I, like a fool, agreed ... I told him if there was ever a moment during my life where I wanted to forever remain, then he could come and take my soul.”
He had to smile, without any mirth, without joy. “I don’t know if that means he’ll come here. I don’t know what comes out of the dreams. For all I know, if I become blissfully happy, it will all be destroyed my Mephisto’s arrival.”
"Me an optimist?" She rolled her eyes. "I'm pragmatic, it's better to..." Elizabeth trailed off, looking at him, her eyes like storming pools. "That was there, this is here. You can't let yourself be controlled by something that can't happen!"
“Elizabeth, a friend of mine dreamed that she could make airplanes out of light and fly them to the ends of the earth, and when she awoke, she could do it.” Ariel sighed. “These dreams sometimes give terrible gifts.”
“I doubt they’ll give you a devil that’ll take your soul,” she counted, folding her arms and then unfolding them. She lifted her hands to touch his face.
“I don’t trust it.” Ariel would have said more, but then she touched him. He looked down at her, not scared so much as weary. And he knew the dreams were nowhere near complete yet.
“I suppose we can’t trust them. But we can fight to make it better.” His cheek was a little scruffy and she scritched a little bit.
“I don’t entirely see how, I’m afraid.” But her touch was soft and gentle, and he sighed softly. “That’s what I mean by optimism.”
“We punch him in the face if he shows his face,” said the girl who’d punch the devil if he got in her way.
It was at that point that Ariel realized two things: he wanted to kiss this girl, and that it would be a very bad idea, because of both the deal with the devil, and the fact that he didn’t think she was over eighteen.
He smiled instead, looking down almost shyly. “And then what?”
“Then we laugh in his face and sail off into the sunset. Sailing is very important to this.” She looked up into his eyes, wishing he’d kiss her and terrified that he actually would.
“I imagine it would be.” He couldn’t do it; it would only end bad. “I’ve never been on a boat in this life.”
“Why don’t we? I could rent a sailboat, we could go out and sail…” She leaned up a little.
“I don’t want you to get hurt.” But it was barely a protest. And it would be so easy to say yes.
This was a bad idea. Right? He was older, she was technically not an adult. Just a technicality. Technicalities never really stopped Elizabeth before. So she kissed him.
Ariel had half expected this, and while he wanted it, deep down, he couldn’t let it last too long. If not because of the devil, then because she was so much younger. Because he had a daughter, and because she deserved far better than a neurotic pot smoker who started at far too many shadows.
Elizabeth's fingers slid into his hair, tickling at the back of his neck. It wasn't her first kiss, but compared to Gemma, this kiss was fantastic.Sorry Gemma.
Ariel wanted to stop himself, but it took him far too long to actually do that. “I don’t want you to get hurt,” he said again, as their lips parted, but this time it was much more gentle and less insistent.
Swooning was bad. Swooning was going to be bad. She let herself lean on him a little bit. “Why don’t you let me decide if I’m going to be hurt?” First of all, that made more sense inside her head, so she blushed.
“I fail to see a way in which you won’t.” Ariel replied. “I’m older, I have a daughter - and her mother, who is frankly nasty - and these dreams, and my habits. I’m secretive and grumpy and you just deserve so much better.”
“What you need is balance,” she said, stubbornly. Elizabeth liked him too much to let him push her away. She had the feeling like she’d commandeer a ship for someone she cared about, if she had to. “Let me worry about my own heart.”
“Balance in what way?” Ariel looked at her determined little face and felt a surge of fondness. She reminded him of the woman, Helena, in his dreams. Not able to take no for an answer.
“A balance for being secretive and grumpy, of course,” she said, her accent thickening. “I’m serious about sailing.” A pause, “It’s too bad it’s getting too cold for a swimsuit….”
“I was born grumpy, and I’ve had to learn to be secretive over the years. And what about your father, Elizabeth? I recall you saying he was rather protective.” He didn’t want to be the cause of arguments between father and daughter.
“He just wants what’s best for me, but I think we can both agree that what’s best and what one thinks is best is not always the same thing.” She grinned at him.
“Elizabeth, if my daughter brought home a man that was years older than her I would put my foot down.” Ariel was charmed by her, definitely, but he still didn’t feel like he could date her without serious misgivings.
She’d have to bring him home when it wasn’t so bad, then. She couldn’t right now, anyway. She chewed on her lower lip and looked at him with big eyes. “How many people am I ever going to find in my life who tell a story as good as you?”
Those eyes were wholly unfair. “Storytelling isn’t the only thing you should look for in a man.”
“A man who respects women. A man who’s good with his...shop.” She looked around, blushing, feeling a little silly and wondering if that joke was too much.
He blushed, but was more amused than anything. After all, how would she know about that? “Elizabeth. You aren’t even at university.” More than anything, he worried that he’d somehow distract her from the path she ought to be on.
“Well you’re not going to distract me, except give me a good excuse to go to the University I really want to go to, which is a local one.” Her eyes danced with mischief.
“Did you already want to go to that university?” He was not going to be the only reason for something like that, before God.
“Yes. It has a good program.” She chewed her lip, blinking her eyes. “In the things I want to do.”
“I’m glad.” Ariel nodded once, then again. He sighed. “I’m sorry for doubting you so much. I do think you have a strong will once you set your mind to something. I’m just feeling very ...” What word made sense? “Very ... unworthy. Right now.”
“Well, you are. Unworthy. But. You can prove yourself worthy.” She smiled lightly, eyes dancing, her mood suddenly improved.
He was a tiny bit insulted, in truth, when she agreed with him, but he knew he’d brought it on himself. “I don’t understand.”
“Give yourself a chance, Ariel. Because right now you’re unworthy of yourself, not of me.” She pressed her lips lightly against his forehead, then stepped back. “It’s your heart I worry about more than mine.” She was young. Objectively she knew she’d bounce back. She didn’t want to get heartbroken of course. But she’d read enough romance novels. Shh.
“I’ve already had it broken a few times.” He smiled a little. “I’ve been there before.”
She ducked her head. Perhaps this was moving too quickly but she didn’t really care. “I should… get home. Are you going to be okay?”
"Eventually." Ariel had to say it, and hopefully it would be true. "You have a spine of absolute steel, you know. It's impressive." He was fairly sure she'd get in the face of the devil himself, if she ever had to.
“Thank you. It’s not very lady like, but we don’t always have to be lady like.” He made her want to be herself, if she could figure out who she was. But then, some people spent decades figuring out who they were.
“I have more respect for women who aren’t ladies at times.” Ariel smiled. “Go home, please, Elizabeth. It’s late.”
She snuck in a quick kiss on his cheek, then started to pull away. “Just call me if you want to talk. Or anything.”
He would be okay with that. “Thank you,” he said. He could only appreciate her care, even if he thought it was misguided.
“You’re welcome.” And with that, she headed back out. Her lips still felt like they were buzzing.