Neena Thurman pours drinks, kicks ass. (fallsinplace) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-10-22 13:14:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, neena thurman (domino), thomas raith |
Who: Neena Thurman and Thomas Raith
Where: his car
What: going home from a doctor's visit
When: a week ago
Warnings/Rating: mature language
Status complete
Neena could barely contain her excitement as they got into Thomas’s car. “A boy. Thank God, I’d be shit with a little girl. You’d have to be the mommy and people would look at us weird.” She grinned at Thomas after buckling herself into the car.
“You’d be just fine,” Thomas parried with a chuckle, “You didn’t seem to have any trouble with Cora when she was smallish.” And even if she’d been awkward with a little, little girl, he was sure they would have figured things out. Since when did they care about getting weird looks? He leaned over and kissed her, one hand straying to her belly. “I’m still not sure I know what to do with a baby of any variety, but I’ll learn.”
She kissed him back enthusiastically, putting her hand over his. No matter what gender the baby was she’d love it, but she was relieved to have a boy. “You’ll be amazing.” She assured him. “I saw you with little Cora too, after all.” She stroked his face with her free hand. “God I can’t wait. He’s going to be beautiful.”
Thomas smiled. Little Cora had been able to walk, and talk, and feed herself by the time he and Neena were in the picture--though Harry had visited Elaine at least once when she was even littler. Back then, if you’d asked Thomas if he thought he’d be a parent in ten years, he would have said no way, but now? He could hardly wait.
“And tough enough to beat up anybody who says he takes after his mother?” Of course, that would likely just prove the point. “Then again, that might be a compliment.”
“Please, you’re pretty for a living. I’m just a recreational pretty person.” She grinned at him and winked. “Let’s face it, honey, we’re fucking awesome people and we’re going to be awesome parents.” She believed that most of the time, when she wasn’t losing her mind over her health, the baby’s health, or a million other, smaller concerns. “I’m glad he’s doing okay, too.” She squeezed his hand, and her smile faded for a moment. Every time she heard his heartbeat it was a relief.
"He's doing awesome," Thomas said, murmuring the protective mantra that Elaine had taught him under his breath, after. He did it every time he touched his future wife, so that it would become second nature. What exactly it did, he couldn't quite explain, but it helped him feel closer to both mother and child. "And so are you."
Neena shivered, stroking his face softly. “I love you, Thomas. We should get home before we start making out in the parking lot.” At least people would know they came by their situation honestly. “Are you nervous about this?”
“About making out with you in the parking lot?” Thomas quipped, “Or being a father?” He chuckled. “You know I don’t think much of my own father. All of this is new territory for me. So, yeah, I guess I’m a little nervous. You?”
“Oh yeah. Not the making out, we’re good at that.” She laughed. “I am. I raised Chris and Rachel, but that was in a totally different time and things feel a lot more fucked up, now. which is funny, since that was the post apocalypse and this is supposedly a more civilized time.” It was actually a lot more civilized, which made Neena think she probably wasn’t all that civilized. “Oh, shit, I totally forgot. Uh, Nate found the timeline that Chris is in, and I want to go get him, but I won’t go without you.” If she got stuck again she knew she’d rather have him close.
Thomas just shook his head, trying not to let his wheels start spinning in the mire of his and Neena’s complex relationships and convoluted history. Future. Whatever. It was part of Neena’s life, and Neena was part of his, so it was his life, too. He was trying to accept that, so that he could come to appreciate the good parts of it.
“Now, that’s where my nerves really start to kick in,” he said, “But I’m trying to take a page from Cora’s book, and just...I don’t know. Think about how amazing it is that we could actually go back and forth through time and meet these amazing people that I’ve heard so much about.”
Neena nodded. “We don’t have to go. Scott’s going, he can explain things to Chris, offer him the chance to come home. There are risks, and I don’t want you to do this just because I asked. I’ll understand if you’d rather not.”
“We’re going to be married,” Thomas said, “You have every right to ask things of me, and I know this is important to you. Why should I need any other than that?”
“Because it’s going to be hard and dangerous.” She took his hand. “The future is pretty terrible, at least that one is, and time travel’s risky at best.”
“Neena,” Thomas said, giving her a long, hard stare. “If you’re going to do this, against all odds and better judgment, then there is no way I’m staying behind. You’re carrying my child, and the only other people on your team are a couple of kids themselves. ”
“I said I wouldn’t go without you. I meant it. So that’s what it’s coming down to. If you think it’s too dangerous or risky, then neither of us go. Scott can pick the kids up, and bring them back.” She met his gaze, but only for a second. Soulgazing right now would only distract them from the conversation at hand.
“Right, because Emma’s really going to let Scott go back into that timeline when she’s about to pop.” Thomas shook his head. “Why not Nate and I? Unless you’re afraid we’d kill each other off out there.”
“Nate has to run the machine, otherwise I’d be ordering a pizza and watching cartoons while he went.” Because time travel shit was squarely in Nate’s wheelhouse, and Chris was essentially his clone that happened to be created in the more traditional manner.
“And it has to happen now?” Thomas sighed. “We have seriously epic timing, you know that?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is you’re not going without me, and we’re not sending a bunch of kids into the future that never was on their own.”
“I know. I appreciate how shitty the timing is, believe me.” She worried about it a lot. “But other than the inherent risk of this pregnancy in that future there’s no especial risk that comes from time travel. Scott should be going, so it won’t just be kids, either. Nate’s asking Alex and Lorna, so they’re. . . adult like, anyway.”
“Have you talked to the Doc about it?” he asked. “Because that might be a good idea, even if we were just traveling in this timeline. I’d want to know we took every precaution in our preparations.” And that they’d have backup when they returned.
“I didn’t think about it.” Neena admitted. “I figured he’d say no.” Because he should. It was stupid and dangerous. She had a good reason to go, but she wasn’t blind to the dangers to herself and their son.
“I don’t really know what to say,” Thomas said, “I’m worried that there may be more complications than we can anticipate. But I know you care about both your sons more than anything, and I want to support you.”
“It’s a shitty choice, I know.” She sighed, leaning back in her seat. “I’m terrified something will happen when we’re gone, and the baby will get hurt somehow. But. . . I can’t stop thinking about Chris. I think Nate’s more or less made peace with it, because he’s changed so much and there’s only room for so much freaking out in one person’s mind but I can’t-”
She stopped and took a deep breath. It was still hard for her to talk about her feelings, and even harder for her to ask for help. Her burdens should be hers to bear, but that wasn’t how marriage worked. “I’m afraid I’ll always wonder what if, and keep making up new, worse deaths to imagine in my head.” She looked down, her hair putting a curtain between her and Thomas. It helped, sometimes, not to look. To pretend she was talking to herself because she’d never tell anyone else that she had nightmares and she’d never say what they were if she did.
Thomas reached out, gently drawing that curtain of hair back from Neena’s face. He could feel how difficult this was for her, and he realized that he was coming to care as deeply about what mattered to her as she did. As deeply as he cared about her.
“Then we’ll go,” he said, “Together. We’ll find our son.” As hard as it was to risk the health and safety of the son of his blood to save this boy he’d never met, he couldn’t justify sacrificing Christopher to save his brother either. Because when it came down to it, Christopher and the unborn son who had yet to be given a name were brothers. “We’ll do whatever it takes to keep them both safe.”
Neena nodded and took a deep breath. "Ok. I'll start working with Magius to make sure I'm being as careful with our baby as possible." She leaned over to hug him. "You're an amazing man. I love you."
“I love you, too,” Thomas said, holding her as tightly as the space would allow. “For better or worse, and all that jazz.” He kissed her hair, and smiled, then. “We’ll get through this.”
“We will, and even if things don’t work out with Chris, I’ll be glad that I got a chance to say goodbye and that I love him.” She held Thomas just as tight. It felt so good to be in his arms. “Let’s go home, I want to show you just how much I appreciate you.”