Dani Moonstar's a survivor (ms_moonstar) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-10-06 12:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, dani moonstar (mirage), neena thurman (domino) |
"That dog sure does have a lot of fire left in him."
Who: Dani, Neena
What: Awkward talk about uncomfortable things.
When: Last Wednesday or so.
Where: The Croft Household.
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13, but Warnings for medical situations involving long term illness and pregnancy.
Status: Complete!
Neena was still testing her limits. She knew that going out every day was too much, but every other day seemed fine if she didn’t do anything stressful. She’d talked to Kitty recently, and Logan was waiting until she felt like she could control her emotions better. Nate was busy, so Neena decided Dani was the best option. She found out where the girl lived and made her way over. This time she brought Dante along, because she figured Dani might be amused by him and he could use the change of scenery.
He trotted along at her side as she made her way to the door, knocking loudly.
Dani'd taken the day off to analyze her finances. It was an exhausting task, and not a particularly interesting one. In fact, it was slightly overwhelming. She was amazed at how little of her medical expenses were going to be covered, even on the really fantastic insurance Wrex provided to his staff.
It was enough to make her want to cry and pull her hair out and then break down and find the liquor cabinet. So she was really, really glad when the doorbell rang to interrupt her thoughts. She headed to the door and opened it, a little surprised at who she found there.
"Hey!"
“Hey. You busy?” Neena asked. She grabbed Dante’s collar, to make sure he’d behave. He sniffed at Dani, his tail wagging eagerly. “I figured I’d see if you needed someone to hang out with, and Dante needed to get out of the house for a while.” Even though he was an old dog Dante was still as energetic as any other pitbull.
"I was in the middle of stuff I'd really like to be interrupted from, to be honest." Dani flashed Neena a nervous grin, then grinned down at Dante and crouched down to give the dog a good patting, right where he'd wanted one the most. He was a very happy dog that was eager to meet her, and she missed having one around.
Ho'nene was happier at the ranch, though. She sent a mental warning ahead to the cats, then motioned inside, "Come on in. We'll let Dante out on the back patio and beach, we can keep an eye on him pretty easily."
“Sounds perfect.” Neena rubbed Dante’s ears and they both went inside. The place was nice on the outside, and the inside lived up to her expectations. “Wow. There’s a lot of shit in here.”
"Yeah, it's been in her family for years, apparently. Lots of time to accumulate priceless knick knacks. It's why Dante can't stay inside with us, even if he's really well behaved. Lara's pretty dog shy."
Dani shut the door behind Neena and then lead her through the foyer and sitting area, into a spacious living room with a kitchen attached to it. A series of french doors ran along the back of the room. She stepped into the kitchen and slid a door there open instead, "We can can keep an eye on him here through the screen or go out there and join him. Want something to drink?"
"Outside sounds better than inside. I'll take a water, since you're offering." She shooed Dante out the door and took a seat on the porch. "How've you been?"
"I myself will be having fakaritas," Dani decided, as she opened the fridge. She got out a fresh, unopened bottle for Neena and poured herself a glass of her own drink of choice, then took a seat out on the porch and handed the bottle over.
"How I've been depends on if you're asking in the traditional 'its polite to ask this but I don't really want to know' sense, or what. Personal subjects tend to be touchy around us lately."
“I’ll pass. Virgin anything is just disappointing.” Neena said with a sigh. She took the water bottle with a smile and drained it halfway before replying to the second part of Dani’s statement. “Depends on whether you want to talk about it. I’m not going to make you talk about anything, but I’ll listen. It’s about the only thing I’m good for anymore.”
Dani snorted, "That's going to be me soon enough. Though I take insult at the remark about my fakaritas. They're really pretty tasty."
And disappointing. But it wasn't like she could ever drink again. Dani figured she'd have to get used to it.
She took a long sip of her drink, and smacked her lips like she was making some kind of point. Then she sighed, and said, "You know what? Let's trade. I have Cancer. Now it's your turn."
“Seriously, ‘I have cancer, now tell me your problem’?” Neena snorted. “Fuck that. What the hell, why didn’t you tell me about the cancer?” She stayed relaxed, but she looked at Dani curiously. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of this is Dani wasn’t, but. . . cancer was a pretty fucking big deal.
"Why didn't you tell me why it is that you're on a special diet and apparently useless?" Dani countered, but she waved a hand in the air to stave off any yelling on Neena's part, "Because it was none of our associated business for a while, yeah. I didn't bring it up for a while because it's just in my wrist, it isn't spreading very quickly, and it won't kill me."
She shrugged a shoulder, "I didn't want people freaking out at me."
“Pffft.” Neena replied. “And I didn’t tell you about my thing because there’s no reason for you to worry about me, and there’s nothing you or I or anyone can really do about it. But you’re doing stuff about your thing, right?” She could totally justify this. Nobody wanted to hear about her stupid baby issues. She’d brought them on herself.
"There's no reason for you to worry about me, either, and there's nothing I can do or you can do or anyone else can really do to get rid of it. I mean it's not like we can gear up and go attack it with our bare hands."
Dani snorted, and took a long swig off her drink, "They're irradiating my wrist to shrink the tumor and control its spread, but to be honest, irradiating the thing is what caused it to begin with so I'm mixed levels of happy about that. When Faiza gets back, we're going to try drugs. But even then, it's like... you sit there and hope some drugs in an IV make it go away. There's really nothing else to do but wait."
“Yeah, but there’s shit to do in the first place. Pretty traumatic shit too, that your fucking friends might want to know about.” Neena’s tone wasn’t angry, especially, just pointed. “But whatever, I know now and I hope it gets better.” It was better than nothing, and she knew that she was probably three seconds away from a counter lecture and wanted to save her energy for that.
"Yeah, and there's nothing at all going on with you that your fucking friends might want to know about," Dani pointed out, arching a brow at Neena. She had some ideas as to what kind of problems the other woman might be facing, growing a life and all. None of them were particularly nice.
"You were complaining about being on a diet and not being able to get up and around as much as you want, I've been worried about you for a while now. Fuck, I know you don't like to talk to people about things. It's not like I don't get it. But we're sharing, now, so spill it."
“I never agreed to this.” Neena groused, but it was halfhearted. Still, she sat in silence for a minute, sipping her water. “No wonder you kids were so fucked in the dreams. I was the sane, personable role model.” That was a scary thought.
That was a really scary thought. Dani wasn't sure it was a correct one, either, "Sane and personable? Uhm... No. I seem to recall several insane moves on your part."
“That’s the point. But name one role model you had after joining the X-men that was more sane and personable than me. A lot were more one or the other, but not both.” Neena shrugged. She didn’t pretend she was sane in either world.
"I really can't name one, no. You were the best," Dani replied with a nod. She eyed Neena, then, and shook her head at the woman, "Seriously. What's going on with you. I'm worried. You're not changing the subject on me."
“Dammit.” Neena said with a sigh. “Fine. The pregnancy isn’t going great.”
"See. Was that so hard?"
But it wasn't really a joke, and Dani frowned some, "How bad is 'not going great'? Are you and the baby going to be okay? Shit... I can definitely understand why you'd want to play that close to the chest, yeah."
Neena just looked at her bottle of water, turning it carefully in her hands. “I’ve got three wizards and Nate working on the problem.” Which was the only thing she knew for certain. She looked up, but not at Dani. Dante was playing in the water on the beach, and it was actually pretty cute.
"Well... if Nate and a bunch of wizards are working on it..." Dani followed her eyes, smiling a bit at the dog's antics. He was adorable, and it was pretty clear that this conversation was maybe a little too painful. If they'd gotten into the details of her own issue, it might have gone that way, too.
"...then you're in great hands, Neena. I'm sure you're going to be fine. Nate's like... a super genius or some shit, right? We don’t to get into the details if it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn’t have pried like that."
Neena snorted, but didn’t say what she immediately thought. “Whatever, it’s too late to worry about that now. Shit’ll go how it goes, and there’s not much I personally can do about it but shut up and do what I’m told.”
"Which you really hate, like, canonically." Dani replied, with a bit of a snort. She tilted her head to the side, "Honestly it's about the same over here if it's any consolation. But there's only one life on the line, not two, so it's still completely different. I just know how it feels to not be able to do anything but sit still and wait."
“Canonically?” Neena asked, slightly amused. “I hated it before I dreamed. I don’t like to just sit around like an asshole.”
Dani laughed, "Categorically? Intrinsically? ... It's in your blood. You hate sitting on your ass down to your bones, it's very you. And now I get to sit on my ass and wait for some drugs in a tube to help me and you get to sit around on your ass and wait for a wizard and Nate to do it, and that’s really got to grate on you. I just… get it. That’s all. A little bit, at least."
“Yeah.” She nodded. “But hey, we’re not dead yet, so that’s good.” It was still an option, but what was life without a little danger?
What was life, indeed. Up until recently Dani'd had a hard time summoning enough fucks to care. She'd gone on living simply because that was already her current state.
"I think it's funny that the thing that would make me want to survive is an illness that kills people all the time. Maybe I'm just really contrary like that. Now that Life's trying to kill me all over again, I've decided to defy it."
Neena snorted. “That’s how it goes. I was all about doing stupid dangerous stuff before, but now that I’m in actual long term danger I’m pretty much playing it as safe as humanly possible.”
"I'm sure there'll be time to be stupid dangerous again later on, anyway. Knowing us, this'll be a wakeup call for a few months and by next year we'll be right back to chomping at the bit to get into the action again." Dani figured there had to be something fun that even a mom could do to test her luck.
“I dunno. I’ll still have a tiny human being that relies on me for food by then, and a husband who makes faces at me when I do things that might kill me. He’s a killjoy.” Neena chuckled a little. It was nice to have someone who worried about her, even if she sometimes thought he worried too much.
"Eh, I'm sure there's something you can find to do that's just dangerous enough to keep your blood pumping without upsetting the husband and tiny human too much. I have faith," Dani joked.
Neena snorted. “Honestly I’m kind of glad to have the opportunity to focus on the back end stuff at my bar more. I’ve been thinking about opening another one down the line, and this will give me the chance to get the Den running independently.”
"Well, as long as you're happy. The Den's a great place. I've been thinking of working at Yuriko's new place on the side. Library work for Wrex during the week, maybe pick up some work on Shepard's new squad. I have an un-bucket list."
Dani finished her fake cocktail and reclined more in her chair, watching Dante play with something he'd found on the beach, "That dog sure does have a lot of fire left in him."
“I’m pretty sure chemo and fighting terrorists don’t mix.” Neena pointed out. “As for Dante, that’s the effects of clean living, exercise, and being an extremely spoiled brat.” She smiled softly. “He’s about thirteen, I figure.”
"No, they don't, but if I don't make a list of things to do afterwards, I might as well give in now," Dani replied, her tone suddenly more serious. Man, she was a party pooper. She snorted, "Anyway, it's stuff I'm going to do when I'm better. I'll go all Sinead O'Conner, badassed bald chick with guns or something."
“See, that’ll be a good thing.” Neena said, nodding in approval. “I thought you meant right now and let’s face it, you’re sexy but nobody makes chemo look good.” She reached over and squeezed Dani’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine, and we’ll all be there to help you out if you need it.”
"I'm sure somebody somewhere tried, but the effort is probably exhausting as fuck. I think I'm determined to rock the scarves-and-hats, gives-no-fucks look."
Dani smiled over at Neena, "But hey. Same to you. However I can help, anyway."