Zevran Arainai had sex with your mom. (easy_lover) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-09-25 23:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, renly baratheon, zevran arainai |
Who: Zev and Renly.
What: Catching up.
When: 9/17.
Where: A restaurant.
Rating: PG-13 for mention of what Zev did while he was gone.
Status: Complete!
Ever since Zevran had returned, Renly had been looking forward to catching up with his friend. While he’d already told him about his engagement to Loras, there was still so much to tell him and he was sure that Zevran had quite a bit to talk about from his time away. Renly easily could have suggested that they meet in a bar for a drink, but bars were usually too noisy to really talk, so it was decided that they would meet for lunch. Renly had chosen the same restaurant, in Laguna Beach, where he’d met up with Cersei not too long ago.
Zevran arrived on time per usual. He admired and believed firmly in punctuality. When he saw Renly, he waved, standing on his tiptoes and smiling. “Friend!” He walked over and moved to hug his friend, beaming. He’d really missed home.
Renly smiled when he saw Zev and got to his feet as his friend approached the table that Renly had already secured. “It’s so good to see you, Zevran,” Renly said as he returned the hug. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed his friend until now, “I’m glad you’re back.” It was still a little surreal to think that he was friends with a porn star, mostly because he was Renly’s only friend who he’d seen, not only naked, but having sex, considering Renly owned quite a few of Zevran’s titles.
Zev was well aware that lots of people had seen him naked and having sex. It didn’t bother him, and never really had. Sex was a natural thing, and porn let people explore things in a safe way. He appreciated that he could help people doing something pretty much entirely frivolous, which he almost felt guilty for. But he was glad that he’d come home. He’d missed it, and being on a long work trip had just drained him.
“I’m glad to be back. I hope they have wine here, I will drink an entire bottle myself.”
Renly laughed and nodded as they took their seats, “There can definitely be wine.” He glanced around for a waiter and gestured for one to come over, “You choose the kind,” He said to Zev trusting his friend to choose a good wine. “Ironically Loras knows more about wine than I do.” Loras who technically couldn’t even drink legally in the US, but did anyway.
Zev picked out a red that went pretty well with anything, settling back into his seat. “Really? I was very sad when I moved here, I couldn’t drink even though I had been able to drink when I was in Spain.” He gave a melodramatic sigh. “It was so very sad.”
Renly nodded, “Same with Loras. He can drink back in England or Sweden, but he’s not twenty-one yet, so he can’t drink here. At least not legally.” Renly had already been twenty two when he’d moved to America, so he could drink no matter what, “I don’t understand why America has to be such a bloody buzz kill.”
“They like to be contrary. They are a child, in terms of length of establishment, so they have to rebel against Europe. Is Loras from Sweden?” Zev crossed his legs, looking at Renly intently.
Renly nodded, “Him and his sister. Their grandmother is English though.” Olenna Tyrell wasn’t like any other grandmother he’d ever met. Most people from her generation wouldn’t be quite as supportive of Loras’ orientation or their relationship as Olenna was. Renly was glad that Loras had, had someone like his grandmother around while he was growing up. “She’s definitely something.”
Long ago, Zev had learned to just smile and nod whenever people mentioned families. “It is good to have family close by.” He didn’t really know what that was like, and doubted he ever would.
Renly nodded, “That’s why I’m glad that I found my nephew and that my sister-in-law is out here with my other nephews and niece.” Of course Renly wouldn’t mind it if Robert decided to cross the pond. Stannis could stay in England though. “So, how was your work trip? Did you get enough downtime to really enjoy it?”
“Not at all. I did a convention appearance every day, and then I had to do four separate photoshoots.” Zev wrinkled his nose. He’d also had to figure out how to not travel through Spain. Fortunately, his facial tattoo ruined his resemblance to his father, along with his pointed ears.
“That sounds absolutely exhausting. When did you sleep?” Renly barely even took notice of Zevran’s ears and tattoo now, but he wondered what other people thought of them, especially his fans, “You must have been exhausted. Although, something tells me you didn’t show it at all.” He smirked as the waiter came back with their wine and poured them each a glass.
“Hotels.” Zev wrinkled his nose. “I hate hotels. I can never get comfortable, and the beds are always so hard.” Now that Zevran was a full blooded elf, he was pretty sure that he’d never get tired or look exhausted; it was probably a genetic impossibility.
Taking a sip of his wine, Zev smiled. “But my appearances went well, I made enough money to have a nice nest egg in case I want to retire, and I was proposed to eleven times. It was ... what I expected.”
“And would you ever retire?” Renly also took a sip of his own wine, “And I was only proposed to once.” A smile crossed Renly’s lips as he thought back to Loras’ proposal. “I accepted of course.” As if he would have said no to Loras.
“If I had to.” Zev shrugged to himself, but then he couldn’t help but grin. “You? Married? Oh dear. You made your poor young thing propose? I am guessing he is the more brash of the two of you.” Zevran had never met Loras, but he guessed.
Renly hadn’t known Zevran long, but somehow he couldn’t see him retiring. At least not in the near future. He obviously enjoyed his job and who could blame him? At the mention of Loras and the proposal, Renly laughed, nodding, “I didn’t make him. He decided to do it on his own. I modeled in my friend, Portia’s fashion show at the end of August and it was backstage, after the show that Loras did it. I hadn’t been expecting it at all.” He picked up his glass with his left hand then, deliberately to show off the ring that Loras had proposed to him with and smirked.
“That is a handsome ring. I hope you didn’t have to wear anything too stupid in the fashion show. I modeled for a while, and people seemed to love putting me in skirts. I do not get why, but at least they were comfortable.” Zev shrugged, but he was grinning broadly. “Do I get to come flirt with your groomsmen and bridesmaids?”
“Thank you. Loras did a rather good job,” He took a sip of his wine then set the glass down and shook his head, “Portia is very good. Everything she designed for me was just my taste.” Renly might dress down when he was at home or simply going to the store, but he really was very keen on fashion she tended to dress up when he was going somewhere such as dinner with a friend, “Of course you’ll be invited. I’d say, just don’t flirt with my niece, she’s only seventeen, or my nephew cause that might weird him out a bit. Other than that, you should be free to flirt with anyone there.”
“That’s fantastic.” Zev liked listening to Renly talk about happy times. “Do I know your niece or nephew? I have to flirt with them now on principle, but don’t worry, it won’t lead to anything.”
Renly laughed, already picturing Gendry’s face if Zevran flirted with him; no doubt, Gendry’s girlfriend would probably get a kick out of it. “No, you haven’t met them, but they’re both on Valarnet. Myrcella is my brothers daughter with his wife, Cersei. Gendry is his son that he doesn’t actually know about. The one I pretty much randomly found back in January or February.” It was crazy to think that he and Gendry had found out their relation just eight months earlier.
“I will flirt with each of them copiously, especially the one you were laughing about me flirting with just now. You had one of them in mind.” Zev grinned, lightly poking Renly in the side.
“My nephew, I can already see his expression and I have no doubt that his girlfriend would find it extremely amusing.” Renly hadn’t actually seen Arya Stark in a long time, but he recalled her from the dreams and seeing her around King’s Landing and thought she would find the situation extremely amusing, “Myrcella would probably blush.”
“I will be sweet and just kiss Myrcella on the hand, but your nephew, I will be sure to flatter excessively.” If there was one thing Zevran liked more than flirting, it was a good practical joke.
Now Renly wished that the wedding were tomorrow just to see Gendry’s reaction, but alas they had only just started planning and really had nothing planned as of yet, “I’m looking forward to this very much now. If you don’t follow through I’ll be very disappointed.” He smirked and took another sip of his wine.
“I will dip him and kiss him if he will allow it.” Zev smirked and crossed his legs. “Am I terrible?”
Renly laughed, that mental image was just too good, “Bloody hell, if you do that and I miss it, I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you.” Poor Gendry. Renly hoped that if Zevran did flirt with him at the wedding, or ever, that he wouldn’t get too upset, “Yeah, but it’s okay. We’re all terrible from time to time.”
“I’ll make sure you’re nearby. I’ll have you introduce us.” Zev winked. He was an elf, and an assassin to boot; if things got too heated, he’d be able to either diffuse it with a joke or sneak away. “What else did I miss? I need all gossip, I feel out of touch, unarmed.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Renly thought for a moment as he tried to think about what had happened while Zevran had been away, “Were you here when my tent showed up? No, I don’t think you were. I’m now the proud owner of a rather large tent. You would not believe the things inside it either.” While Renly had seen the tent in his dreams, the moment he’d actually walked into it, the first thought that had come to mind was that it felt like a place where Zev might film a porno; not that Renly was going to let his friend film a porno in his tent of course.
“A ... tent.” Zev blinked. “That’s ... good?” He had slept in any number of small tents in his dreams, and if any of them had shown up, he’d have probably thrown them away. They were mostly just to keep out rain (and they failed at that).
Renly wasn’t surprised by Zevran’s reaction, because he hadn’t seen it yet. “It’s good. I suppose you’d call it a war tent? In the dreams it’s where I sleep and plot my next move while we’re in the field. There’s a rather intricately carved king sized bed, wall hangings and rugs, maps and books from Westeros, a table and candles. You’ll have to come see it soon.”
“All I had was dirt to sleep on and a rather threadbare blanket. I suppose it pays to be the king!” Zev laughed a little at that.
Renly smirked, “One of the kings. Last dream I had there were five of us vying for the Iron Throne.” Talking about the tent reminded him of something else he could tell Zevran, “So, in my dreams, while Loras and I are together, I wind up marrying his sister to get his family’s support. Guess what night I had that dream.”
“I could not!” Zev smirked, leaning back. “Oh dear, I do hope that she did not expect you to consummate the relationship.”
“The same night Loras and I got engaged. Everyone did. Even Loras told me to, because I needed an heir, but I couldn’t do it. I don’t know if it was because I got extremely pissed before or because she wasn’t Loras,” Renly took a sip of his wine before continuing, “Not only that, but in the dreams she’s younger than Loras. She’s fifteen and I’m twenty-one. And she knew about me and Loras. Asked me if I wanted him to get me started.” Having talked to Margaery about the dream made it seem not quite so awkward anymore, but he could only imagine how it sounded to someone else.
“That was fairly standard in my dream world as well, actually.” Zevran chuckled. “It was how I assassinated my most recent king, actually.” He’d snuck into the man’s bedroom, under the guise of a prostitute; everyone knew the king held no love for the queen. Antivans hadn’t voted for him, after all, he was a king.
“Can I just say that I’m glad you aren’t in my dreams. Chances are, you would have been hired by one side to kill someone.” Renly wouldn’t put it past Cersei to hire someone to kill him or Stannis or anyone else who threatened her hold on the throne.
“Oh, I am certain of it. And I would have charmed your pants off several times beforehand.” Zev winked at Renly, amused at the idea. “Do not worry about my doing it here. I will not.”
Renly laughed, “Oh, I have no doubt that you would try,” Renly doubted that Zevran would have been able to succeed in seducing him though, because in both worlds there was only Loras, “But in either world, Loras would go after you. And in a revenge sort of way.”
“That is nothing I am not used to.” Either in his dreams or in his waking life. He was glad that he didn’t have anyone chasing after him lately.
“Why does that not surprise me?” Renly teased, smirking across the table at his friend, “I’m really glad you’re back, Zev.” Renly didn’t have a lot of close friends, so the return of one of them was good in Renly’s book.