Who: Lucifer + Samandriel What: Schmoop. Talking. When: after this thread Where: Lucifer's Rating:High. Fairly non graphic sex, Samandriel warnings Status: Complete
Once Dean and Castiel were (assumedly) safely gone, Lucifer freed his fingers from Samandriel's hair and made a little noise to prompt him to move up onto the couch and closer. He gave a little sigh and smiled at his boyfriend. "Too much?"
“At the end, yeah,” Samandriel said softly, getting up to tuck himself properly against Lucifer’s side. “I left myself too open to everything and Dean...he may not let on but he feels things really, really intensely.” And in this case, they hadn’t been entirely good feelings, but Lucifer probably knew that already.
"I know," Lucifer said, wrapping one arm around his angel's shoulders and the other around his waist. "he's… complicated and hurt. He'll take some effort." He paused, stroking his thumb against Samandriel's shoulder. "If you can't control it -- we don't have to do this. I don't want it to be hard on you."
Samandriel relaxed against Lucifer, and with a thought brought them up to their bed instead, glad that it was dark in their room so he could stretch out and continue to be calm and focus on his partner. “No,” he said softly, reaching up to map Lucifer’s face in the dark. “I want to do this even if it’s hard or maybe because it’s hard. Dean needs…he needs this more than he knows. Not just Cas but real home and family and connection. I think he’s forgotten what it’s like and he’s still expecting all of it to be torn away in an instant.”
They had all been through that too recently and given Dean’s history, it was no surprise to Samandriel that the mechanic was struggling the most to recover.
"I know," Lucifer repeated softly. He'd known Samandriel wouldn't really agree to calling anything off, but had felt it only fair to offer, just in case. Still, he was pleased his boyfriend hadn't. He was fond of this little family, even if it was rocky and they were all kind of ruined in different ways. They all needed each other, really.
"He's had it hard, and it's difficult to gauge how he'll react to things. I'm sorry it hurt you."
Samandriel pressed his forehead gently to Lucifer’s. “Don’t you dare apologise for that,” he whispered. “I can take more than you realize yet. Just...the way Dean hated himself for coming absolutely shot any desire I had to. And…” Samandriel bit his lower lip and whispered, “please don’t ever let me top again. I liked it fine, but it felt sort of like wearing another culture’s clothing and faking it.” Wrong. It felt wrong.
If anything, Lucifer only pulled his angel closer. He didn't doubt for a second that Samandriel was strong -- probably strong enough to deal with a lot of their bullshit for a lot longer than this, but that didn't mean he should have to.
"He hated himself for it?" Okay. Yes, they needed to work on that much harder then. It was disturbing just how much self loathing Dean seemed to manage. "I won't make you, ever. It's good you did it the once though. Now you know, and it was a learning experience." A pause. "Castiel seemed to enjoy it, in any case."
The depths of Dean Winchester’s self-loathing knew no bounds and Samandriel was certain that it somehow began with the younger brother he never spoke about and the father who occasionally haunted his dreams whether Dean realized it or not. “The only way Castiel could have been happier is if there was somehow a way that there could have been another Dean fucking him instead,” he commented, fondly dry. It was no secret where Castiel’s devotion lay just like it was no secret where Samandriel’s was, or Lucifer’s for that matter.
Snorting at that, Lucifer shook his head a little. He traced little absent shapes against the small of Samandriel's back. "Possibly," he agreed. Castiel was a little… obvious. About that anyway. Everything else was a bit of a mystery. He didn't quite understand that one, if he had to be honest. "But there's no mistaking he loves you, too," he pointed out, even if it didn't need be said.
Samandriel shifted again, nudging Lucifer to his back so he could rest his head on the other man’s chest and properly listen to his heart. He didn’t want to say that he worried about that, that the Castiel in his dreams loved Dean Winchester altogether too much. “In his way,” Samandriel allowed softly. He didn’t say that the way to Castiel’s heart for Lucifer would be to be good to Dean. That was obvious. What wasn’t obvious even for Samandriel, was where the balance was between helping Dean and getting too close to Dean stood in Castiel’s eyes.
“But I will never be Dean and he will never be you so it’s all irrelevant.” Home. Lucifer was home in so many perfect ways. “Marry me,” he whispered, because he hadn’t asked yet that day and after everything, it seemed appropriate. “Marry me under the stars and at the reception we can all watch the dawn break together, see the morningstar that is you and the sky I painted at the Dawning.”
It was a fine line, and one that Lucifer had been thinking on carefully. He'd tried tonight -- including Castiel where normally he might not have, just to make sure that both parties felt at least a little comfortable. It hadn't worked perfectly, but all that really meant was that he had to plan better and try harder. There was time for that later though.
Lucifer curled in closer to Samandriel, kissing his nose and finding his hand to run a thumb over the ring there. "Not yet," he said -- but in a way they both knew was not real rejection, only putting something off as an eventuality instead. By the time that they could, Lucifer figured they'd have the damn thing planned out to the last detail though. "I love you."
Samandriel leaned up into that touch, smiling with it. Those words always managed to warm him in ways nothing else could. “I know,” he whispered. “I feel it with every bit of you.” He let his fingers trace over Lucifer’s body, tender with his love in a way he could be with no one else. With Lucifer, he could just relax completely and not worry about anything too awful or overwhelming flowing through him in the muddled space he couldn’t quite control yet.
“Will you show me anyway?”
Samandriel must have known by this point that Lucifer would deny him nothing, particularly when he was being asked. "Of course," he murmured, dipping his head a little lower to kiss his angel. After the last part of the evening, his preference was for something much slower and sweeter.
Samandriel couldn’t help but bask in Lucifer’s affections. He returned that kiss like it was the best thing in the world (which, really it was,) and shifted just a bit more to tangle their legs lightly together. “Is it bad that in a way, I’m glad that the other one showed up to fuck up my old life completely?” Not because of the harm he did to the people Samandriel loved but because… “I was more tired than I knew pretending that I could manage lying to my parents or putting up with their shit.”
"It's… understandable," Lucifer said after a moment of thought -- he filled his silences with little touches -- fingers brushing against every curve and dip of Samandriel's skin he could comfortably reach. "Not that other thing, just -- you being tired of it. Your mother… didn't deserve you." Nor did she deserve the payments Lucifer was sending her, but some things Samandriel didn't need to know about.
Samandriel mirrored those touches on Lucifer’s body, dips and curves and planes of muscle that spent so much time hidden under suits instead of where Samandriel could best appreciate them. “You do,” he whispered. “Just as I deserve you.” Those were words that he was sure that the other part of their strange foursome would never be able to say to each other without extensive therapy and he tried not to let that make him a little sad.
"Exactly," Lucifer agreed, as if it were the most obvious, most simple thing in the world. To them, it was. Pointedly, he did not consider their other two, because right now was just about Samandriel and himself. They couldn't spend all their time thinking about everyone else.
Humming a pleased little noise he took an easy, nearly chaste kiss.
Samandriel returned that kiss, letting their breath mingle between their lips before he gave a bit more passionately than he’d originally intended. “Thank you,” he murmured, “for buying a smoothie you didn’t even want to drink to get at the one you did.”
"Was it that obvious?" It felt like a long time ago, but yes, he did suppose it was that obvious, for someone like Samandriel, even Lucifer hadn't been very subtle.
He rolled over just enough to grab some lubricant from the top of his nightstand and then returned to press himself close to Samandriel again. "You hardly need to thank me for that."
“Please,” Samandriel murmured, smirking against Lucifer’s mouth, “like I didn’t feel you checking me out. I might not have known sex was a thing I ever wanted at the time, but I knew what it felt like to be wanted.” He kissed his lover again. “I was just too blown away by wanting in return to call you out on it.”
Lucifer snuffed out a little laugh at that, running a light touch down his angel's thigh, curving in playfully around the bend of his knee. "And there I'd been thinking you some innocent little thing the whole time." Of course, he'd been proved wrong rather quickly.
Samandriel moved his leg with Lucifer’s touch, arching into it as he rolled to his back and pulled his beloved with him. “Were you more turned on when I was some innocent thing?”
Like being rolled over was one of the most natural thing in the world, Lucifer just kind of went with it. He arranged himself so that he was more straddling the younger man than anything else. "No, not really. It was a strange relief that you weren't."
“I’m glad,” he whispered. His fingers ran down Lucifer’s chest as far as he could reach and then dropped to his thighs to follow the bend and curve of them. “I still believe in destiny for us, corny as it sounds.”
"It's a little corny," Lucifer agreed, but didn't really argue or protest it -- basically, it was obvious where he stood on the opinion. Lucifer didn't stop to flirt with teenagers. He didn't even like teenagers. Or smoothies. Clearly, fate was dealing a hand because there was just no other excuse.
He leaned down to kiss Samandriel properly, and popped open the bottle of lube at the same time. While he was usually one who never minded waiting he saw no reason to do so currently.
Samandriel stole another kiss and found himself not only safely ensconced in the dark, but collected in Lucifer’s presence saying, “we need to find me a therapist again.” That he couldn’t go back to Hannibal was obvious in so many ways.
More than obvious, really. Lucifer considered that for a moment, making a thoughtful little noise even as he traced fingertips along the curve of Samandriel's thigh again, scooting his hand lower.
"We will. Perhaps it might be good to scout someone on the network. They seem more accepting of…whatever all this is."
Samandriel raised his hips for Lucifer, quietly amused that the other man thought he needed the extra lubricant, but not at all contesting it. “I’m not sure if I can be the one to do that,” he confessed. “I’m not sure how to go about talking about things at all.” He kissed Lucifer mostly to shut himself up, but also because sometimes kissing Lucifer was the only thing that made sense.
Extra could never hurt. Anyway, it was a little like pretending they were starting fresh, instead of just continuing along from earlier. The kiss was nice, like they always were, and Lucifer was grateful for it just because it gave him a little time to think. Well, that and slip a finger inside of Samandriel. Lube really wasn't needed, and neither was prepping, but that didn't make it any less appealing.
"I can look around. If you'd like."
Samandriel stole another kiss in thanks in lieu of words right away, his hips rocking gently back against his own personal devil. “Please,” he said, both in response to the offer and because he really did want Lucifer in him. “My brain’s getting all muddled and it’s getting harder to just...be yours.”
That was hardly all that Samandriel should have focused on being, but Lucifer knew what he was saying; he got it and wasn't about to argue. Especially right now.
"Alright," he said, and it might as well have been a response to anything Samandriel was saying please to, because he gave up on prepping, rearranged the both of them properly so that he could ease into his lover.
A low groan found itself rumbling in Samandriel’s throat. “Love you,” he whispered, gasped, really, as Lucifer pressed into him. This man was his and he in turn was Lucifer’s. Together, they would heal from this and all other things properly.
Lucifer only smiled in response, kissed the side of Samandriel's jaw and pulled back only enough in order to properly put his hips into the next thrust. Slower and sweeter didn't mean he was going to be completely gentle -- and he suspected that Sam wouldn't mind so much anyway.
Samandriel rocked back up into those thrusts, focusing only on the way their bodies moved together. He was glad forever (and a true forever at that,) was in store for them, because he couldn’t imagine ever giving this up. “Stop,” he whispered against those lips. “Lay on your back, I’d like to see your face better.”
"Such demands," Lucifer murmured, kissing Samandriel one more time before doing exactly as asked -- easing off and moving to lay down properly. He never really stopped touching Samandriel as he moved. "Will you keep your wings out?" Not that he didn't know they weren't always there -- but he couldn't always see them.
“No,” Samandriel said, settling over Lucifer again. “I need to be with you as me. Just Samandriel, the boy who loves you and not an angel of anything.” He would wait until Lucifer allowed him to keep his wings away before he settled on him again. “And maybe selfishly I’d like to treasure however much time I have where you see me as this and not as what I’m being forced into becoming.”
"That's hardly selfish." Lucifer sounded understanding about it, even if he could only relate by watching the others around him and how they changed, since he seemed to stay the same in terms of humanity. He settled his hands on Samandriel's thin hips, did not feel the need to give permission for something that was fully the younger man's decision.
"You're you though, and I doubt highly my view of that will ever change."
Samandriel lowered himself slowly onto Lucifer’s cock. “Likewise,” Samandriel promised. “But I’d like to be just like this for a little while longer anyway.”
"Whatever you like," Lucifer said, a little breathlessly, rubbing his thumbs against Samandriel's hipbones. But he meant it, and did not say it just to be appeasing. If it wasn't clear by now that Lucifer would do anything within his power to keep Samandriel happy, then it never would be.
He rocked almost painfully slowly down onto Lucifer. “Not quite,” he murmured fondly. Samandriel reached forward to touch his face, memorizing him all over again. “But Christmas isn’t too far away and then I’ll have what I really want.”
Almost, he wanted to roll his eyes at that, but in a fond way. Samandriel brought it up so often, that Lucifer felt a bit silly for having ever been nervous at the idea.
"That isn't far away," Lucifer placated needlessly, rolling his hips up against Samandriel's. He was patient, but sometimes slow was just slow.
Samandriel shifted his hips enough to try to make sure Lucifer kept to the younger angel’s pace. “I’m sure whatever puppy you pick out will be the most adorable thing,” he said, smirking.
"It will be," Lucifer countered, biting back a laugh and gripping more firmly at hips, "so long as you're aware it's a Christmas and a birthday present."
Every attempt Lucifer made at getting Samandriel to move more was met by the younger man stubborning slowing down. “That always happens,” he whined.
"It's the curse of --" Lucifer let out a little sigh, wanting but not yet impatient. "--a December birthday." He moved his hand to circle his fingers around Samandriel's cock, still slick fingers stroking just as slowly as he was getting.
“Oh go on,” Samandriel said, leaning forward and relaxing so that Lucifer could move his hips as he pleased. He kissed under his jaw, nestling as best he could just there. “You’re amazing, you know. Fucking stunning.” He nipped at his pre-fiancé’s neck, “and mine.” The last words were soft, but like every other claim between them, they didn’t need to be shouted from the rooftops to be true.
Instead of agreeing, Lucifer only adjusted his grip in order to make it easier to Samandriel to lean down while he worked out a quicker pace and roll his hips up a little sharper. "Don't swear," he said fondly.
“Fuck,” Samandriel gasped, not only because Lucifer felt that good, but also partly to be contrary. “Harder. Please, Lucifer.”
What a terrible brat. Lucifer licked his own bottom lip and only half complied, guiding Samandriel down a little harder with the hand still on his hip. "You're on top, you could certainly put some effort in," he told the younger man, equally contrary.
Samandriel caved to Lucifer’s earlier demands, bringing his wings out to help him move faster and harder onto his lover’s cock. “Lucifer…”
Responding not with words immediately, Lucifer only made a little gasping noise - appreciative, interested. He brushed his thumb over the tip of Samandriel's cock, gripped tighter to his hip with his other hand. He liked the way they fit together, the way rolling their hips was like some sort of fucking art. "Yes," he murmured after a beat.
“Do it,” he whispered against Lucifer’s mouth. “Please Lucifer, come...come in me.” He moved away from the kiss to drag teeth roughly down his boyfriend’s neck, to shift his weight to thrust harder down on him.
Considering that Lucifer had been holding off all evening, that wasn't a very difficult request on Samandriel's part, and he certainly didn't object. "Fuck," said Satan, completely ruining his own argument about swearing from earlier and not minding one bit. His hand moved from Samandriel's hip in order to twist through his hair instead, holding him there against his chest. "Close."
Samandriel’s response was to whine loudly as he drove harder down onto Lucifer as much as the angle allowed. His wings worked hard, a counter to the minimal leverage he had. “Please. Please, Lucifer.”
It really wasn't something that Samandriel had to beg for, but Lucifer would be the first to admit that it sounded good on him, and definitely helped things along. And, of course, Samandriel got whatever he asked for. So Lucifer came, grip tightening on his boyfriend's erection even as he did so, as if to coax the same response from him.
He wasn't generally very loud when he did this -- mostly just jumbled whispers of approval and small gasps. But he held Samandriel close, buried his forehead in the curve of the younger man's neck.
Samandriel didn’t, but that was okay. He got what he wanted. Gingerly, he moved Lucifer’s grip from his cock back to his hip as he lifted his head to kiss him slowly. “Good,” he murmured against those too tempting lips. “Thank you.”
Lucifer laughed at that, tone a little shaky, but clearly amused. "Samandriel," he said, between kisses, "you hardly need to thank me for that."
“Shh,” Samandriel whispered. “You shared part of yourself with me, and no matter that it’s part I’ve seen before….it’s no less precious and worth being thankful for than the first time you allowed me this close.” He snapped his wings quietly out of view and slid off Lucifer to curl against him. That he didn’t come wasn’t a thought in his head at the moment. All that mattered was that he’d done well for his eventual-angel.
Giving a thoughtful little noise in response, Lucifer only pulled Samandriel closer and waited for his breathing and heartbeat to even out a little, burrowing his nose into the curve of the younger angel's shoulder.
He let the silence sit for a while, because it seemed fitting in this moment -- practically perfect. Good. Like things always seemed to be with Samandriel. After a while though, he huffed a little half laugh out. "I'm not getting you a puppy, though."
“Why would I need a puppy when I have you?” Samandriel asked, nudging closer to Lucifer as though to sleep even though he was certain that wasn’t on the table that night. “Big furry lug who lights up whenever I’m in the room and can’t get enough of his mouth all over me? Seems close enough.”
"Did you really just compare me to a pet?" Lucifer couldn't even begin to hide his wry amusement, only pulled Samandriel closer yet (just because the younger man didn't need sleep that often didn't mean the same went for him). "You really are a perfect brat."
“Your perfect brat,” Samandriel corrected. He kissed Lucifer slowly. “Get some rest and I’ll take you to the dog park in the morning.”
"Shut up," Lucifer said, taking another kiss before settling a little further into the pillows. He'd worry about cleaning up in the morning, content for the moment to lay there with Samandriel in his arms. Especially because the younger man was his perfect brat.