Verity (jokeshopgirl) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-09-23 11:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, charlie pace, verity |
I thought you only craved bacon.
Who: Charlie Pace and Verity
When: Circa Sept 16
Where: Verity’s (and River’s!) Place
What: BBQ for the pregnant gal
Rating/Warning: Low/None
Status: Complete
Just past 32 weeks. Verity was nesting like crazy, felt as big as a house, was having even more trouble getting around, and couldn’t wait for this whole pregnancy thing to be over. But then came Labor and Delivery, and that was even more terrifying. But she was taking things one day at a time now. And today she was excited to have BBQ with Charlie. There were a few things she wanted to talk to him about, anyway. She wanted to be honest with him. From the start. Not only because she was an honest kind of person, but because she really liked him. She found herself thinking about him pretty much nonstop lately.
Verity was in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and raw chicken, getting things ready for the BBQ. She had some music playing, and was bobbing her head to the beat as she prepared things.
Charlie rang the bell using his nose. In his hands was a grocery bag, smaller than the one he had brought before, since Verity was providing most of the ingredients this time. A much larger accessory was the guitar strapped across his back, which he’d brought just in case inspiration struck him. It was their third date and maybe it was time to take it up a notch, whatever that ultimately turned out to mean.
He bounced anxiously on his heels while he waited.
Verity had hands covered in raw chicken. She set down the knife, and moved through the small kitchen to the front walkway, then called through the door. “It’s open!” She didn’t want to waste time washing, or get yucky chicken all over the knob. Once he was through she was planning on planting a kiss against his cheek, without getting her chicken-y hands all over him.
Charlie shifted the weight of his guitar so that his hand was free and he could open the screen door. There were plenty of things going on in the kitchen, but no smells, since it was all raw stuff they were going to take outside. “Looks like you’ve been busy today.”
“I have. It’s a good day.” She did what she’d been planning, and leaned over to tap a kiss against his cheek. She lingered for a moment, though. Being close to him felt really good. It was as if she could feel warmth radiating from his body, his cheek, neck and shoulder. But she pulled back after a moment and gave him a bright smile. “I’ve got chicken all over my hands. Come on in.” She turned to lead him into the kitchen where he could put things down.
He’d put two and two together, seeing the chicken on the countertop and the wet glisten on her fingertips. He positioned himself so he wouldn’t taint his clothes with salmonella and then set his bag down on the table. Inside: s’mores ingredients. “I brought dessert.”
“Oooh.” Verity said, then moved over to finish up with the chicken as quickly as she could. “I hope you brought plenty. I think Christina has a bit of a sweet tooth. Or maybe that’s just me.” She grinned at him over her shoulder.
Charlie took a seat at the table, figuring he’d stay out of the way while she was working with knives. He placed his guitar behind his chair. “I thought you only craved bacon.” She was slightly rounder than the last time he saw her, but he wasn’t about to say so out loud. It didn’t bother him, anyway. Pregnant fat didn’t count.
Verity’s eyes followed the guitar for a moment, then she finished chopping the Chicken into bits. With her clumsiness in the kitchen lately, it was a good thing he was staying out of the way. Once it was all in the bowl, she moved to the sink and started to wash the chicken off her hands, knife and cutting board. “I’m craving everything lately.”
He laughed. There was something so sweet about the way she talked about her pregnancy, although Charlie was sure that Verity didn’t realize most of it, because she spent so much time worrying. He hoped she’d look back one day and realize the worrying was a waste of time.
Once the dishes and her hands had been washed and set in the drying rack--well, the dishes were in the drying rack. Her hands she dried on a towel--she turned back to face him, wearing a smile. “I got the charcoal started. I hope I did it right. That was always my father’s job at home.”
Charlie moved, as if he was ready to stand and get started. “Did you want to get cracking? Or just chill for awhile?” Chill might have been code for snog.
“Whatever you wanna do.” Verity said, giving him a smile. She didn’t know the code yet, he could tell because she wasn’t blushing. She stepped over to where he was at the table. “...there’s a really nice... swing chair bench thingy outside.” She couldn’t think of the name of it. He’d likely seen it the last time he was over to cook.
He knew exactly what she was referring to. It was a detached swing, like a plush love seat, that had seen some weather here and there, but was still in excellent condition. Charlie rose, leaving his bag of chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers on the table for now, and held the door open before Verity as they moved outside.
The charcoal in the barbecue was going. It’d be hot enough to cook in no time, and would stay hot for quite some time, in case they had other things they were doing. Verity gave Charlie a gentle “thank you” as he held the door for her, then moved over to the loveseat thing and sat down on it. It felt like quite a load off of her poor feet when she did so, and had to suddenly reach both hands out to the side and back because the thing started to swing under her.
Charlie quickly took the seat beside her, to steady the rocking motion. They moved gently back and forth. He playfully pumped his legs, like a kid on a swing, even though it didn’t have any affect on the chair. The air was cool and sweet. “Nice evening,” he commented, looking upward.
"It's cooling down," Verity commented idly. Her hand reached over to take hold of his as he swing his feet playfully. She gave him a smile. Somehow side by side wasn't close enough. "Your hands are warm."
“Uh, yeah,” he said, his voice sticking in his throat as he looked down at their palms. “I use them a lot, so… good blood flow.” He chuckled. It was the truth.
"Good blood flow?" Verity repeated after him, smirking a little. "You use them a lot, do you?"
“Yeah…” he said slowly, lifting an eyebrow. It hadn’t dawned on him yet, but it would soon. “You know. Guitar. Oh wait… I see what you did there.” When he laughed, he snorted a bit.
Verity laughed with him, then laughed harder when he snorted. She wasn’t laughing at him, but with him. He had a nice laugh. And it felt wonderful to giggle so, until a stitch in her side pained her. She squeezed his hand.
He reached over to touch the spot that seemed to bother her. He wasn’t worried, he just enjoyed the contact, and he didn’t think too much about being forward. He was like a kid. “Feeling more at ease… at all?”
"Yes." Either or was the laughing, or the contact, but Verity's face was rather pink. She leaned in close against him, shyly. "Thank you." Her free hand lifted to his cheek, and she pulled him in to tap a little kiss against his lips.
It was a quick kiss, but it was just enough so that his eyes drifted closed. Charlie hummed against her lips. “You know, if there’s ever anything I can do… not just cook, but anything,” he said, no more than an inch from her. “Just name it.”
“We’re off to a pretty good start, don’t you think?” Verity spoke softly, her own eyes closed. Her fingertips traced down his cheek, very gently. She wasn’t sure what he was offering, really, but there was a part of her that wanted to take him up on it. Not just anything but everything. She was falling for him. His kindness, his sense of humor, his handsome face. Her eyes opened to look at that face, only an inch from her own.
He blushed. Maybe it was partially the heat from her face hitting his own. He might have been a one-time rock star, but he’d never indulged in a lot of what that lifestyle had to offer. Not like his brother did. A beautiful woman could still make him blush. “A very good start. Can’t remember the last time I was off to a start as good as this.”
It may have been how hard and fast she was falling that scared her into action. Into speaking. She cleared her throat very gently. "I'm going to have a baby, Charlie," she said, softly. "I think this is a great start, but..." was he really interested in something more than a great start? Did he have any idea what he was getting himself into? Did she? "I really like you." Thinking was hard when all she wanted to do was kiss him. "I want to be honest. I... I'm probably in the worst place in the world for good starts."
Okay… that was a bit of an unexpected turn. Charlie clenched his jaw for a moment, trying to swallow but unable to relax those muscles, so instead it felt a little like he was choking. Finally, he leaned back and managed to clear his throat. To be honest, he wasn’t sure what Verity had meant by all that--was it just anxious babble, or… ??
“Yeah, I know you’re going to have a baby. But if that’s part the deal, then… that’s part of the deal. I like kids. It’s not a turn off.” Now was the one babbling.
"Are you sure? Like, really, really sure?" Verity asked. She looked up at him, feeling suddenly cold as he leaned back. "Because... Well, I'm terrified of going further. I got my heart smashed up a couple of times recently, and I just... Can we just... go slow?" As much as she wanted to go fast, as much as she wanted... poor girl wasn't really sure what she wanted. "I mean, I'm not ready for serious. I'm not in a good place for it."
Charlie felt a little foolish, to be honest, like he had egg on his face. Getting involved in Verity’s unique situation, he thought he’d known the risks from the start. But apparently he hadn’t fully prepared himself for… well, he wasn’t being rejected, but it still felt that way.
“I thought we were going slow. What would slower look like?” He didn’t sound defensive--yet--but unfortunately, when things began to crumble, Charlie took on the behavior of a hurt child.
I don’t want either of us to get too attached in case something bad happens. No. That wasn’t right. I don’t want to fall for you in case when Christina arrives you decide it’s too much and leave. That wasn’t really right, either. I feel guilty because I’m falling for you while I’m still seeing someone else that I like very much. That was much closer. When she added I don’t want to have to decide who I want to be with when everything else in my life is changing so drastically, and what if I make the wrong decision? it felt even better. But how to communicate it effectively? Verity sighed.
“I’ve been seeing someone else,” she said. “It’s not serious with him. I don’t think I’m going to be ready for anything serious until after Christina is here, and things settle down for us,” saying the words aloud made her realize how much she meant them. She hoped he would understand. “I don’t want to stop seeing you, I just… want to be honest about everything.”
His brain pretty much flatlined after the seeing someone else part. Part of him knew it was irrational, and that he was as free as she was. They’d never set anything in stone. But his heart knew better. “Someone else?” he repeated, as if he hadn’t heard any other part of it.
Verity nodded. “I’d been seeing him when I met you. It’s just… he’s a good friend, and… he’s been really supportive of me.” She felt like she wasn’t describing it right. Honestly, she wasn’t sure she could describe it. She had no idea what was really going on between herself and Roland. “I’m not tied down to any one or any thing right now, and I really… I think that’s best. For now.” Not forever. But she’d understand if he didn’t like that, or didn’t want to wait for things to change.
It was slightly better to hear that he was the one who had come along, and not the other way around. He nodded. Very slowly. The hurt he felt was partly irrational, but there was no stifling it, except by sheer force of will, and Charlie wasn’t sure he was up for that. “Okay… that’s… that’s okay,” he murmured, not sounding at all convincing, or convinced.
He'd pulled away, but his hand was still in hers. Verity squeezed it. "I wasn't lying when I said I really like you, Charlie.” She said, softly. She loosened her grip on his hand so he could pull it away if he wanted to. “I want to keep hanging out together. I just want to be honest. I don’t know where my head or my heart are right now.”
Charlie did pull it back, and used to to scratch the whiskers on his chin. He felt like he’d been clipped by a truck--and further down that line of logic, he wanted to leave the scene and go to the hospital or something. Staying here, he’d just bleed out.
But running away (to lick his wounds) would be rude, possibly even the end , and he reminded himself again, she hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact, she was doing the right thing right now. He’d just gotten too invested too soon.
The way Charlie’s mind was going back and forth was reflected in his eyes, which flicked from side to side. He was quiet for a little too long. “Okay then, let’s hang out. And get grilling.”
Verity was praying that she hadn't ruined everything. He was quiet for a long time, and that made her even more nervous. Charlie had weaseled his way into her heart already, and the thought of losing him now was terrifying. Then again, her hormones were going insane, maybe that was a part of it. She gave a tentative smile, though, when he spoke again. "Okay," she said, heart still thumping, "Let's get grilling."