Mary Alice (mary_alice) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-09-20 14:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, alice cullen, jasper hale |
Who: Jasper and Alice
When: Sept 16, after dinner
Where: Jasper’s place
What: A long overdue talk
Rating/Warning: Low/None
Status: Complete
Alice knew where Jasper lived. She’d been there a handful of times, but almost always with her mother or father or brothers or sisters. This may have been the first time that Alice was going to Jasper’s place on her own. But the two of them had things to discuss, things that she was fairly certain she didn’t want any of her family to overhear. She’d changed her clothes about five times after finishing her work for the day, and then got into her car (the car her parents owned and let her drive) and headed over to Jasper’s place.
After a few minutes of simply sitting in her car, trying to collect up her courage, Alice headed up to the door to knock. She hoped that he was there, that she hadn’t confused his days off. Not that she knew his schedule, or anything. Okay, so maybe she knew his schedule. She paid attention where Jasper was concerned.
With breath held in her lungs, Alice lifted her hand and knocked.
Jasper had just finished dinner, a near raw steak that he’d practically devoured. It was disgusting, or it should have been, but it had been more delicious than Jasper cared to admit. After dinner, he’d showered and was walking back out in his pajama pants and a t-shirt he’d gotten from the Army. He wasn’t expecting visitors and hoped that the knock at the door wasn’t an emergency.
With everything that was happening outside, he wondered about his family and whether or not they were being attacked by plants or had developed some sort of power. When he looked through the peephole, he was surprised to find it was Alice. Surprised and a little nervous. He’d been avoiding her, but he chose to think of it as he needed to focus on work and his life than a girl. Any girl, not just Alice.
After a deep breath, Jasper opened the door. “Hey,” he said, opening it wide enough for her to come in.
“Hi.” Just the sight of him standing there in the doorway made Alice blush. She was so abnormally pale--even shimmery in the late afternoon sunlight--that the pink creeping up her cheeks was quite obvious. She took a moment to enjoy the look of him, then stepped through the doorway carefully and moved into his home. It was so weird that he had a home away from hers and their parents. Though, that thought shouldn’t be so weird. He hadn’t lived with them for years when he was away. She’d barely seen him before he came home.
“How’re you?” She asked, turning back around to face him once she was fully inside the house.
The door was shut behind her. There was a distinct awkwardness between them that was most unwelcome, but also a bit reassuring to Jasper, that he wasn’t the only one who had questions and doubts. He didn’t answer the question, mostly because he didn’t know how to just then.
Instead, he moved to her, stepping into her space where he could practically feel her breathing. The rise of color that was in her cheeks spoke for her. Jasper’s arms went around her, more than brotherly, more than he had before. The action was almost a promise; it very well could have been.
There was a tease on her lips. That bad, huh? or You’re not gonna bother answering? or something along those lines. But every thought about teasing her husband brother husband Jasper was gone from her head the moment she felt his arms wrap around her. Warmer than the dreams. Not as hard, nowhere near the marble that his body felt in the other life, but just as strong, just as meaningful. She couldn’t stop her heart from thundering, her arms from wrapping up and around him in return.
Jasper could have stayed like this, for however long it took before he was satisfied. As it was, he tucked her more against his body, feeling the curves of her spine and waist with his hands, as if he had never felt of them before. In his mind, he hadn’t. All he’d felt was Maria, but she’d felt decidedly different. She’d felt wicked. “You feel good,” he thought out loud. “Nothing ever felt so good.” And he was troubled, because he didn’t understand why. He’d been with a handful of women and they’d felt good to him, but not like this. Nothing like this.
Alice turned at the sound of his words, and buried her face into his neck. She breathed in deep, pulling him into her lungs, then exhaled fully, relaxing against him. Her body was flush with his. She'd had boyfriends before, but none had ever held get like this. "It's good for me, too." She whispered, feeling lame at the words. "I mean, you feel really good." She was mumbling against his neck, fighting an urge to kiss. Or bite.
Biting would have been more than allowed just then, as long as he could return it. For now, he remained as he was, his fingers buried in Alice’s hair, the other arm secure around her waist. They needed to talk, he knew it, but he still didn’t move from where they stood. “You’ve been my sister,” he told her. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t stop this.” And it was too difficult to fight off.
She didn’t move. The Dreams had that effect on her, too, along with everything else they’d given her. She could be perfectly still, barely breathing, her heart rate slowed. Like a statue. She was now, cuddled close against him, lovers chiseled out of marble. His words sank deep into her heart. “...I barely knew you as my brother,” she spoke softly. “You were just… a guy who lived in the same house as me. Then you were gone for so long.” He smelled amazing. She felt like she didn’t need to breathe, but she wanted to. To breathe him in.
With great effort, she pulled her head back a little to look up at him. “...do you want to stop this?” She wasn’t sure they could, even if he wanted to. But she could stay away from him. She could try, anyway, if that’s what he wanted. She’d do anything he told her to.
For a moment, all Jasper could do was stare down at her, bemused. He didn’t understand why she was asking such a thing, but at the same time, all of this was so sudden that he did understand. They were young, much too young to jump into uncertainties. Jasper frowned, unsure of how to answer it. He was loathe to pull away from her, but he knew it would be easier to think if he did.
Reluctantly, he let go and went to his couch to sit, elbows on his knees, his chin resting against his fists. “I don’t want it to,” he answered truthfully. “But I don’t know what’s going to happen, or why this is even happening in the first place.” He looked at her, trying to keep anything that would make him appear weak from his expression. “Who am I to you in your dreams, Alice?” he asked.
Alice let go of him, though it took every ounce of strength age could muster. He moved to the sofa and she moved with him, but she sat on the arm, giving him space.
There was the question she'd both been longing for and dreading at the same time. She took a long moment to consider the question and her answer, then spoke softly. "You're my soul mate."
It should have been laughable to hear that term. Soul mate was something a sixteen year old used when they were in love for the first time, not something adults used. Or vampires. Did vampires even have souls? But Jasper wasn’t laughing. He looked at her, thinking of Maria and how he’d do anything for her, but the pull of Alice was much stronger here. “Maybe that’s why I don’t need to dream about you,” he said at length. “I already know it.”
Was it possible for a heart to swell and burst inside? Alice’s chest hurt. It physically hurt to hear him say those words. It felt good, but it hurt. She couldn’t stop a little sob from escaping her, and she lifted a hand to cover her nose and mouth. Her eyes were burning with tears. She couldn’t remember the emotions being like this in the Dreams. Not as strong, not as… burny. She nodded, swallowed, and tried to regain control over herself.
He hadn’t meant to make her cry, but he understood that maybe she was overwhelmed, because he was, too. He just didn’t show it in the same way. As her tears came, Jasper’s thumbs gently pressed at her cheeks. He didn’t understand what was happening. Maybe he didn’t need to. All he wanted was for her to stay and be his. “Whatever happens,” he said at length, “we’ll figure it out together.”
Alice lowered her arms and wrapped them around his middle, moving practically into his lap as she hugged and cuddled close against him. She wasn’t crying much anymore, not sobs or shaking. The burn faded from her nose slowly, though she did leave a little wet spot on his shirt. “Okay,” she said. It came out a little nasal from the crying and a little muffled from her mouth’s proximity to his chest. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. She decided now might not be the best time for that.
They stayed together like that, cuddled close and silent, until Alice fell asleep in his arms.