The Tomb Raider (lara) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-09-12 20:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, lara croft, renji abarai |
"What? No! That's disgusting. You're disgusting!"
Who: Lara and Renji
What: Renji catches Lara doing 'research'
When: late late Monday night/early Tuesday morning
Where: Casa de Croft
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13 for Renji
Lara hadn’t been sleeping well. Between confusion thanks to her roommates and their actions, and the increasingly violent nature of her dreams (she didn’t think she’d look at thunder and lightning the same way for the near future), she just didn’t want to sleep. So she curled up on the couch in the large, cushy living room, the tv set very low to some really terrible documentary about ancient aliens, and her laptop in her lap.
She’d started out innocently enough; printing out what little was known about Yamatai, and then expanding her search to other Japanese legends. Much like how a normal person would get sucked into TVtropes or wikipedia for hours, Lara found herself lost in research paper and artwork and artifacts.
The stripper would intrude on her thoughts every now and again, except her face was different, and far far too familiar. It became impossible to concentrate after an article on bisexuality on ancient cultures. The next thing she knew, her search engine was filled with images of women. This too started innocently enough. Research papers and studies, online blogs and personal accounts.
And then she found something else...and down the rabbit hole she went.
Renji usually slept like a log. That was complete with a slobber dribble out the side of his wide-open mouth, long fire-engine red hair loose all over the pillow, and one foot dangling off the side of the bed. But tonight? Not so much. Yet another dream of a big white baboon with a white snake for a tail. It was when the snake tail started bitch slapping him repeatedly along with a baboon hand slap in the opposite direction, that Renji had flailed awake and landed on the floor with a painful sounding KER~THUNK and a plain-as-day "GAWD DAMMIT."
Considering the house was roomy, he hoped he hadn't woken up the roomies, and maybe a trip down to the kitchen for a late night snack or a drink of water, might help him get past the weird dreams and go back to sleep. He headed down the stairs, which led him past the living area. He noticed the glow so he stopped and backpedaled a couple of steps, leaning in through the doorway and squinting, since he had just the right angle to catch sight of what Lara was looking at. And that sure as hell wasn't old dug up junk.
He crept in with a cheshire cat smile, tattooed brows drawn together in concentration, and moved as quietly as possible as he leaned in. When he was close enough to invade some personal space yet remain unnoticed, Renji opened his big mouth and said blaringly loud, "STARING AT SOME TITS, HUH? WHO NAILED IT? RENJI DID."
Lara jumped about three feet. Renji was lucky she wasn't farther in her dreams, or he might have ended up with a pen jabbed in him. She slammed the lid shut on her laptop and then promptly fell off the couch. "Oof!"
When she looked up over the cushions, her face was redder than an apple. "What do you think you're doing?!"
She sounded so indignant!
"Heh! Being victorious. What's it look like?" He was standing up to his full and very considerable height, with the smuggest of the smug looks on his face. "What'd ya think YOU'RE doing? Besides about being ready to cruise Red Tube for free lesbo vids?"
"What? No! That's disgusting. You're disgusting!" She got to her feet and brushed herself off. "I was just...there was this really fascinating article on human sexuality." That had eventually led to tits, ala getting sucked into a wiki.
"Pfft! I saw those boobs you were staring at. It's not a big deal. Why're you getting so bent out of shape over nothing. Get out of the closet and get over it, because it's not like some big major thing that anyone outside of the bible thumpers down south give a shit about." He was giving her the profoundly DUH stare of dumbatude, because no way was that finger pointing working on him. He crossed his arms over his chest. "One of my coworkers, that latino dude that flips the burgers seven days a week? He told me that fifty percent of women watch porn or have watched it, anyway. So I live with a couple of chicks who are into munching carpet? Big fuggin' whoop. Unless you take a piss on my toothbrush. Then we're gonna butt heads."
And thus concludes Renji's opinion on all things related to sexual preference. Flat out. Done.
"Frankly I never thought about it as an option. I was always too busy in University to really pay attention to boys. Some of them were pretty handsome, but Sam tended to jump them and I invested in ear plugs. There was that one time we snogged but we were drunk off our asses." Lara picked her laptop up and set it onto the table with a sigh. "I really wasn't looking for porn I just...have you ever clicked on links in Wikipedia and ended up somewhere really strange after a few hours? I was looking up..blogs and such. And eventually.." She was blushing, all the way to her ears. Renji's bluntness helped, a little.
"I'm just not a very sexual creature, at least not... in public or anything like that. That strip club was mortifying." Pause. "But I appreciate it."
"Nah, no prob." He waved it off and blew a few locks of hair out of his eyes. At least when his hair was down, it covered the tattoos and the fact his hairline was heading north. "I mean, the only one who was really making a huge deal over it was you, so it was kinda obvious. Just do whatever and stop giving a rat's ass what other people think. It doesn't matter anyway. Only one who has to live your life is you. So. Why're you up this late anyway?"
She thought the tattoos were rather fetching but knew enough to not tell him that to his face. Tattoo ninja and all. "I couldn't sleep. I keep dreaming about this storm taking out our ship." She wrinkled her nose. "The first night I had a bump on my head, and blood."
Just wait until he had more than his eyebrows and forehead tattooed. Those things were everywhere. At least they're going to be, when the 'tattoo ninjas' strike again. *eyeroll* GDI Renji, u stubborn ass.
"Huh. That sucks." There was about two seconds of blessed silence before Renji snarkily informed her, "I got bitchslapped repeatedly by a monkey and a snake until I woke up. I'd take a shipwreck and a bumped head over that, any day. I'm gonna have some sleepy time tea and hit the hay again, since I have to work during the lunch and dinner run. Ya want some?"
“Well, snakes can be problematic, it depends on where in the world you are.” Lara made a face. She’d take that over a shipwreck! “Some tea would be good, thank you. It’s probably too early for coffee.”
"Yeah? Next time I'm gonna dream up a knife and cut that damn thing's head off. Hissing sonnuvabitch." He'd still take the shipwreck. He watched those survival shows before, so he had a vague idea of what to do. If he remembered it all, past drink your own piss if things went totally south. Eww. "Coffee in the middle of the night is stupid. Last thing I want while I'm sleeping is to have the jitters."
Renji did have a lot of rational sense sometimes, when it came to work related things. It was probably the only area of his life that applied to, considering he's blaming tattoo ninjas for the upper half of his face being tribal themed.
He walked into the kitchen area and started boiling some water. Seeing as how Lara was one of those snooty talking people, she had one of those electric tea kettles, that snooty talking people from an island liked to use for making cups of tea. Luckily they're so easy to use that a monkey could do it, blindfolded, and therefore even Renji could use it. Without breaking it.
He leaned against the counter and yawned so hard that his jaw made a popping noise.
Coffee was just...a really amazing thing and had ensured she had survived University. Both for studying and recovering from binges. Sam had been (and still was) a party girl.
But being properly british, she still liked tea. Just didn't fetishize the stuff.
She padded into the kitchen. "I'm just hoping I get back to sleep." She looked over at the kettle. "I really should expand my tea selection."
"Considering that I had to buy the green stuff? Yeah, you probably should. Everything you had was brown." While leaning back, he folded his arms over himself and rolled his head around in a slow circle, like he was getting a crick out. "Anyway, I'm sure you'll zonk out soon."
“Green stuff.” She added ‘green stuff tea’ to the list on the fridge. “Thank you. I’m sure this will be enough.” At least until she got that text from Dani. “And thank you for not making a big deal about things.”
He made an 'eh' noise like it wasn't ever going to be a big deal.
"Anyone who freaks out over that stuff is an asshole. The only person that anyone should concentrate on bettering or making happy, is themselves. It's not like you have to live with the assholes, just tolerate 'em. You've gotta live with yourself until you're dead. So it only makes sense."
“You’re just a regular old asshole, Renji,” Lara said, fondly. She winked at him. “I still don’t know what I am and I’m not particularly fond of labels, so I suppose I’ll just take it as I go. And be a world famous archaeologist, first!”
"Sounds good. And I'll be a regular asshole who kicks ass," he said with a maniacal grin and a gleam in his eyes. For added emphasis, he held up one arm and flexed it to show off his guns. "Even during shipwrecks or when the monkey house at a zoo attacks."
Aw yea!
“Or the killer monkeys on the island,” Lara suggested. She didn’t think there were killer monkeys but she was trying to play along and humor him.
"Heh! Killer monkeys." He sounded and looked supremely confident. "I could take 'em."
Lara smiled at him, then took the tea. "I'm uhm...going to do some more reading. In my room."