InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "WHAT??"

Dr. Hannibal Lecter (poisonlittleboy) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2013-09-06 19:47:00

Entry tags:

hannibal lecter, samandriel

Who: Hannibal and Samandriel
When: 9/6
Where: Hannibal's office
What: A therapy session
Rating/Warning: PG-13 for discussions of violence
Status: Ongoing

Hannibal isn't really certain how to go about this, exactly. Samandriel had told him to pray, but Hannibal hadn't prayed since he was a little boy, kneeling by the side of his bed at night before he went to sleep.

After the last patient is gone, he locks his door and settles at his desk, trying to decide the best way to do this. Finally, he closes his eyes and bows his head respectfully, speaking out loud.

"I'm not sure if this is the right way to contact you, but I believe we ought to have another session, Samandriel." He pauses, then adds. "Please see me at your convenience."

(Post a new comment)

nearestvessel
2013-09-06 09:19 pm UTC (link)

And just like that, Samandriel is there, the sound of wings announcing his arrival before Hannibal can look up and be sure.

He's dressed finely in an expertly tailored, clearly expensive suit. Tonight he wears a white shirt and is busy putting his cufflinks in when he arrives. His coat has been left at Lucifer's along with his instrument for the time being, but his deep blue tie disappearing into the flattering lines of his waistcoat clearly state that whomever Samandriel is with, he's seeing that the boy only gets the best. It's almost as if he's being shown off and doesn't even realize it.

"It's a perfectly convenient time, Dr. Lecter. Thank you." He smiles at the other man.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

poisonlittleboy
2013-09-06 09:38 pm UTC (link)

Hannibal arches an eyebrow at the clothing, then gives an approving nod, "It's good to see that Abigail is friends with someone who has impeccable taste."

He stands and gestures for Samandriel to choose one of the chairs or the settee for himself; Hannibal will sit closest to wherever the young angel is comfortable.

"Thank you for arriving so promptly. I think you may have an idea why I called you here this evening, perhaps?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nearestvessel
2013-09-06 09:50 pm UTC (link)

Samandriel finishes putting the second cufflink in and sits on the settee. "I'm not exactly dressing myself these days, but I don't think Abigail has any cause to be on poor terms with the person who is. I'm sure you understand the desire of some men to have what's most precious to them displayed as beautifully as possible." There, right there was enough of a tell for Hannibal to know that Samandriel knows about him and Abigail so perhaps at least they can continue on the same page if Lucifer comes up. He takes a deep, steadying breath and looks up at Hannibal.

All at once he feels small again even all wrapped up in things that were a very visible expression of Lucifer's care.

Hannibal has that effect on him, and frankly so does Lucifer even if his relationship with Lucifer is wholly different. From time to time, even Dean manages to make him feel this way, but Dean's disapproval is a fire that burns hot and fast and runs its course before it does any lasting damage.

"There's a lot we should be discussing, but I think I have some idea." He wonders if perhaps he and Abigail hadn't seen his mother practically selling him to Lucifer at the concert. Surely they wouldn't have heard, but Samandriel wasn't too skilled at hiding his distress during that conversation.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

poisonlittleboy
2013-09-06 10:23 pm UTC (link)

Hannibal's smile is tight and thin at the mention of Abigail, and he settles in a chair across from Samandriel, hands folded in his lap. The acknowledgement of their relationship doesn't go unnoticed, and it's filed away with other information he's collecting as he talks with the angel.

"There's been a video that has been going around, I'm not sure if you're aware of it. But in it, you display some very impressive fighting skills. Do you know the video I'm speaking of?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nearestvessel
2013-09-06 10:40 pm UTC (link)

Samandriel catches the look in Hannibal's smile and dutifully finds himself averting his gaze. The mention of the video only reminds him more of everything that's been following him since he got back to school. He can't lie to Hannibal and say it wasn't him or that it was just some independent film or something.

Hannibal knows.

"Yes, Dr. Lecter," he says and hates himself just a little in his heart because that tone is the same one he gives Lucifer when the angel appears upset with him.

Here, he's supposed to be freer with himself, and since he already knows that Hannibal can see his wings without any ill effect, he lets them shift into the slightly visible spectrum. Hannibal can be aware as he is that Samandriel's wings are tight against his sides trying to do what his arms wouldn't and keep protect some of his soft bits.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

poisonlittleboy
2013-09-06 10:47 pm UTC (link)

Hannibal notes the body language, the way Samandriel curls in on himself. Small and shy, trying to protect himself. Poor thing.

"You don't have to be nervous, Samandriel. I'm not here to judge you, or to harm you. I just wished to speak about this display of aggression, and see if we could trace it back to its source. From everything I've seen of you, you're a calm sort of person.

What made you lash out like that?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nearestvessel
2013-09-06 10:58 pm UTC (link)

He's already spoken about this with Lucifer, but there are other things he needs to talk about that he can't bring to form into words with his lover.

He looks at his shiny black shoes on the floor and answers, "I was sick of being treated as less than anything, of being seen as weak, someone that can be walked all over because he isn't even a person. He's a commodity. They were the final straw."

Samandriel's gaze meets Hannibal's even as he tries not to look nearly as haunted as he feels. "My partner and I worked out a plan where I could quit working food service and do what I love playing music for people. The problem was that there's a bit of an," he clears his throat, "age difference between the pair of us and informing my mother of any pre-existing relationship might end spectacularly awfully for him. So after the concert the night I last saw you, we played out the plan and I watched as my own mother treated me as a rather lucrative business deal instead of a human being and my father simply stood there and stammered and offered not a single breath of opposition to her behavior. To realize one parent doesn't love you and possibly never has and that the other completely lacks the courage to stand up to that behavior is...distressing. So a couple days later, some asshole spat at me and called me names and I taught him and his friends a lesson. That it was caught on film is regrettable and...I'm very much paying the price for it now."

Very, very much. Every single day. School was a nightmare. Eventually, he feared he would snap there too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

poisonlittleboy
2013-09-06 11:48 pm UTC (link)

"I did see you and your parents talking to an older man I can only assume is your lover, but it did not seem something I should intrude upon. I'm deeply sorry for the way your parents have treated you.

I could tell you to look on the bright side, that now you're able to be with your lover without hiding it. But that doesn't make the circumstance with your parents any less hurtful.

With that, and with what you've told me about your own disconnect with the rest of humanity, it isn't any wonder that you have a great deal of anger inside you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nearestvessel
2013-09-06 11:59 pm UTC (link)

"I still have to hide that he's my partner." Not lover. Lover's too...fleeting. Samandriel had no intention of walking away from Lucifer ever. Samandriel looks down again. His wings are still close against his body, still protecting the soft bits. He looks at his cufflinks, hands still in his lap. "I think you should come to Lux one of these nights if not simply to listen to me play, but because I think you would genuinely like Lucifer and appreciate his establishment." That isn't what they're here to talk about though, and Samandriel knows it.

"It's more frustration than it is anger. Like an animal backed into a corner with no choice but to react before it either dies or flees." He turns his hand over, eyes on his palm as though he knows what strength he's capable of and yet still can't quite fathom it.

"Does it count as being bullied if you're simply choosing not to react even though you know you're more than gifted enough to end it with barely batting an eyelash? I find myself both proud and distressed that today they ran off with my viola and I simply let them."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

poisonlittleboy
2013-09-07 01:21 am UTC (link)

"I would be more than happy to meet him, and to hear you play."

Hannibal thinks back to his own experience with bullies, rubbing his thumb over the scar on his cheek. A souvenir from his time at boarding school. "Being bullied has nothing to do with how you react and everything to do with the actions taken against you. You are bullied if you feel violated, or abused, or put upon in some way."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nearestvessel
2013-09-07 01:34 am UTC (link)

Samandriel is notoriously bad at being still. The fact that he's remained in this one general position for as long as he has is just a clearer sign of how uncomfortable he really is thinking about it.

He does finally move, though. His legs end up over the arm of the couch and he finds himself on his back. It's rather stereotypical therapist's office behavior. He doesn't like that aspect of it, but he supposes it's fine. They can ignore it.

"That sounds more like being alive in general to me."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	poisonlittleboy 2013-09-10 03:53 am UTC (link)
	Hannibal tries not to flinch at the sight of shoes so close to his upholstery. "Then I would certainly say you're being bullied, if you constantly feel victimized or violated. Which begs the question why you don't lash out more often." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

nearestvessel
2013-09-14 02:17 pm UTC (link)

"There's a difference between constantly and consistently," Samandriel says, keeping his feet a good six inches away from the upholstery. "if I waste my time lashing out, they might move on to someone who actually can't handle it. They're thugs. They're not going to stop being what they are. Me lashing out is only going to make them find a different target and I'm much more comfortable taking the heat off of other people."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	poisonlittleboy 2013-09-25 03:49 am UTC (link)
	"It's very noble of you, to take that point of you. Most people would not look at your situation quite that way, do you realize that? You're a very unique individual. Not only for your physical abilities, but for your emotional strength." (Reply to this) (Parent)