littlegreengirl (littlegreengirl) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-03-22 22:42:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, gaila, montgomery scott, varric tethras |
"I only wanted tae get a backpack, ye know."
Who: Gaila, Varric and Scotty
What: Gaila goes shopping. For a camping trip.
When: Today!
Where: Big 5
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
The Big 5 surrounded them, ominous with its racks of camouflage gear, camping gear, fishing poles, cold weather gear, skis, guns, and hundreds of other items. Gaila was holding up a pair of green winter socks with a matching scarf and fuzzy hat. She looked around for Scotty, hoping her voice wasn’t sounding echoey and distant from him being overwhelmed or something Which mental picture of overwhelmed I don’t want to be here Scotty is cracking this mun up , “What do you think about these?”
She’d already picked out a tent, a sleeping bag just big enough for two friendly people, and some other camping accessories, including backpacks and camping kits. She was looking for thermal underwear and other things to keep warm. And boots. She knew she needed real shoes. She had her eye on the pink ones, but only if she could find a matching jacket. She tossed a bulky red jacket in a flannel pattern at Scotty.
And she hadn’t forgotten a mesh netting that hooks to one’s belt for carrying whiskey water bottles.
Oh! Walking sticks!
It wasn't just that the place was bloody huge, which it was, but Scotty was currently finding that trying to shop with Gaila was like trying to herd a hyperactive puppy while trying to get from point A to point B, without it piddling all over the place with excitement because it saw something new and shiny. So he was left leaning and pushing a shopping cart along, which was steadily getting filled up. In fact, the jacket had landed right on his arms as he hunched forward and stared at her, jaw dropped open a little, and eyes glazed over with shopping trauma.
His idea of shopping was - unless it was for spare parts or an actual build - order part, or go directly to the place one could obtain said part, pick it up, buy it, leave. Done and done. It was not let's wander around and pick up everything and throw it in the cart and then run halfway across the store because one realized they needed a camping kit. How often were they going to go camping, anyway? Not after this, if he had his way!
This was especially painful, because they had come here for just one thing. The one thing he saw fit right now, to remind her of, "I only wanted tae get a backpack, ye know."
He smiled at her, and it was that male hint-hint smile, like he was ready to leave before she asked him if whatever she just tried on made her butt look big.
“But then we need things to PUT in the backpack. And we don’t know if he’ll have tents. And it might be cold so we’ll need thermal underwear and omg you have to feel this fabric,” She bounced over and rubbed it against his face. Indeed it was ridiculously soft and promised a great deal of warmth.
She wasn't. Oh, she was. Scotty stared straight forward and had some thermal underwear rubbed against his cheek. It wouldn't be so bad if she'd only rubbed it there for a few token seconds, but, no, she kept right on rubbing. Most likely, she was waiting for a response.
It wouldn't do to lose it in the middle of Big Fuck or whatever this store was called, so he tried hunching over more and shoving his hands down into the cart, his elbows practically the only thing that was keeping him upright. Nope, she compensated and was still rubbing. He couldn't get away with silent suffering.
"Gaila," he said, like he was reaching the end of his tether, "lass, they're fine. I think I'm just goin' tae wear what I've got, though. Also? I'm goin' through this cart, before ye hit the check out."
He prepared for the pout. And maybe a foot stomp.
He got neither. Instead she leaned in, kissing his lights out. Then threw some MREs in. Because you always eat MREs camping, right?
The kiss was good. It was grand, and qualified as made of 100% sheer brilliance. So he was left smiling the moment her lips detached from his, and hardly noticed her throwing anything else in the cart, until he'd managed to drift roll at least five feet down the aisle. Then the smile turned into a scowl and one accusing index finger pointed down into the cart.
"Och, what's that, then!" He picked one up and read it. "Why dae we need this? Put it back. Kirk said he was bringin’ steaks!"
“But what if we’re hungry on the drive up?” She turned and planted her hands on her hips, “We can’t eat chips and ho-hos the entire drive! Well I suppose we could pick something on the way...”
But...MRE!
Being Scotty, he - of course - quickly consulted the manual the instructions and proceeded to wag a package at her, as proof. "Ye probably need water or heat for this! How're we goin' tae make them in the bloody CAR? I’d rather have crisps."
Gaila took the package and pointed out, “See? You open this packet and put this thing here and prop it up in something sturdy and it heats up in thirty minutes!” The terayaki ones are actually pretty yummy.
"We dunnae need the package!" He was saying, taking it from her and pinching it between thumb and forefinger, then bobbing it at about one inch away from her nose. "Dae ye understand that, lassie? I'm not heatin’ up food in anyone's car on the way up tae the middle o' nowheres, aye? Put it back. Dunnae want.”
She scrunched up her nose, then took the MREs out and put them back. She left the beef jerky. Because no road trip is complete without the beef jerky, “All right, you win, no MREs. I’m ready to go.”
"Ready? Really?" He leaned forward even MORE, looking into the cart and starting to rummage through the eleventy billion things she'd lobbed in there. Pulling out his backpack, tent, and the flannel jacket, and putting them into one corner of the cart. Like a grade A smart arse, he 'cheerfully' asked her, "Brilliant! How are ye goin' tae pay for all of this other shite, then?"
She squinted at him, then added hand warmers, green boots, a green jacket, the socks and the fuzzy hat to the corner with the backpack and tent. She already had a pink, hello kitty backpack at home. Then she folded her arms. She was going to keep the hand warmers to herself!Keep 'em then! He'll just wear his own gloves and shove his hands in his pockets when he gets cold! Scotty gave her a look, and that look said he wasn't budging. No way, no how, no matter how cute her stuff is or how cute she'd look in it, or if she got cute, or promised him things, or let him pour scotch on her and lick it off. Or bribed him with a stack of technical journals.
Though he might waver at the journals. And that last bit with the scotch.
This is the stare she is getting. Not budging. Nope. Only went there to get a backpack and they've already stockpiled eleventy billion things, even if it was sort of cute the way she ran around going 'OOOH LOOK AT THIS' and stuff, he is not admitting it, because she would singlehandedly buy out the entire store and probably say they needed to take a tank along...well, wait, a tank wouldn't be a bad idea, if Kirk's there....but still, no, they did not need this much crap. He is a brick wall of willpower. Master of his domain. Ruling with iron fist. Best recognize.
So Gaila pulled out the big guns, leaning forward, arms close enough together to push her girls together and up even more than her bra did. She gave him her deepest, most intense stare, "Don't make me beg, lover."
He'd never been confronted with that, ever. What were they even doing there, again? Why'd they leave the safety of the impromptu pillow fort they'd build earlier, which was VERY well constructed, if he could take a moment to thought gloat about that. One of his eyebrows twitched upward, which didn't help the overall brick wall of obstinace expression on his face. It just turned it into a oh really, like you think begging would have any effect on me conveyance.
Too bad he wasn't looking at her face as much as he thought he was.
Gaila's breasts seemed to speak, "Please, Scotty? With whipped cream and a cherry on top?"
That's just silly, everyone knows breasts don't speak. He did give them an eyeing, a looking at, sternly, like he wasn't about to fall prey to those happy fun chest pillows of hers.
"I dunnae think ye answered the question," he said, nope, not budging. "How're ye goin' tae pay for all of this? Cannae ye trim it doon. Just a weeeeeee bit?"
Gaila threw up her hands, "I just did!" She pointed at the twelve thousand items in one half of the cart, and the items Scotty and she had just set aside in the corner. "See? I only kept essentials."
"Cannae ye trim it doon, more?" he asked, reaching down and poking around in the cart. "This still seems like a whole fat lot of stuff. I dunnae even go camping. EVER."
That was meant in the what other time will I be using this? way.
"Socks are cute, and warm. Good in winter!" She pointed out, "Hand warmers are one time use, there's enough for a couple of days. The hat is cute. I can wear that anywhere! I like the shoes, they're sturdy green hunting boots. " Just be glad she decided not to go pink because she wanted to match, "And I don't have any jackets."
"Ye have socks," he countered, without a smidge of hesitation. "Handwarmers? That's what pockets are for. Hat, that's a maybe, because, aye, ye could wear that anywhere. When're ye goin' tae wear hunting boots ever again? And ye dunnae have a jacket, at all? Not even a coat? Aye, fine, then that I can see why, but, ye know...we have'nae exactly made it tae the moon and back again. Faiza has'nae won her battle bot match yet. I'm only tryin' tae be cautious."
With the moneys, he means. With the moneys.
She gave him a dry look, and picked up one of the hand warmers, "See, you shake them out, and stick them IN your pockets and they keep your hands warmer for hours." Scotty obviously didn't have any when he was stuck with the artichoke and the tribble She smiled at him, "See? They work in conjunction with your pockets, for optimal warmth! And I have light jackets and stuff. I don't have far to walk to work." She eyedarted, "And the only shoes I have that aren't heels are either open sandals or platforms. I suppose I could camp in stilettos and break my neck..."
"Its a bloody pocket, if ye have gloves on already, then ye dunnae need warmers stuck IN them," he tried to counter-argue. Though he did glower at her at the stilettos thing. "Oh, ha haaaa. Aye, ye should dae that! That's if the bears or mountain lions dunnae kill ye first. Or Kirk."
"I'll pay you back!" And she would, once she got a paycheck again.
Here it comes. The 'ughhhhhhh' exhale, but the look he gave her was one where he was relenting, a smidge. Just a smidge. Because, he was about to point out that he did kind of sort of maybe part-time hire her, just to save him one minor headache where data collection was going to be concerned, "Well, I suppose I dae owe ye for the help, with the programming."
"Yeah!" She pumped her fist, then set about putting everything else where she'd found it. Except a pink, metal flashlight. Because. Pink. Flashlight.
He eyed her, warily, while reaching into his pocket and taking out something he only barely ever takes out, unless it's for major purchases for a build. It was...the almighty debit card. And if he had to call his sis one more time and have her ask their mother for money so she could transfer it to him, again, then he was going to cut his face off with the card. It was dull, but he'd manage, somehow.
Gaila watched him, then frowned a bit. She put the flashlight back. And the boots. And the socks. But she was keeping the handwarmers and the hat, damn it!
"What're ye doin'?!" Scotty paused to scoff at her like he couldn't believe that she got him to at least admit that, yes, he owed her, and was going to actually PAY for the stuff. Then she went putting it back? "Put THOSE things back in here, but we dinnae need things for cookin’ and...fine, everything but the torch. Ye dunnae need a torch."
"No, I'm just getting the necessities, Scotty. I'm not going to make you break the bank over a stupid weekend trip.
"Get AFF! It's not goin' tae break the bank. Not entirely," he was saying, as he picked the things up and put them back. Then he hesitated, and picked up a BLACK flashlight and dropped it in, because no way did he want to get stuck in the middle of the night, without a flashlight, if he needed to run off and tinkle. That would be idiotic. Off he went at a run, driving the cart, toward the nearest checkstand. Before she could protest. Debit card clenched between his teeth, like a pirate's dagger.
Gaila shouted his name and chased after him, trying to tug things back out of the car. A role reversal of sorts!
Nope, he was faster. And he had wheels so he could swerve it out of her reach. Which he kept doing all the way to the checkout person, when he came to an abrupt halt, and hauled everything out. If he could have, he would have dump truck dumped everything onto the counter, because that was the only thing faster than how graceless he was being, at that moment. That done, he gave the cashier a curt nod like they could start calculating, and finally took the debit card out of his mouth, so he could protectively press it to his chest with both hands, so she could no stealsies.
The cashier stared at him, then started to ring him up. Gaila caught up, sighed, then tosses beef jerky onto the belt, "You have to have beef jerky for any road trip. Its the law."
The cashier looked at her and nodded, "Code 15432."
"There's a code? Whatever happened tae a packet of crisps?"
"Code 14-43." The cahsier said, "Are you going longer than a day?" Gaila nodded her head. The casher clucked her tongue, "Then you need chips too. Or crisps. Or whatever. Salty, crunchy goodness."
"Again. There's a code?" Scotty was tennis match looking between them both, blank faced.
"The code of road trips," Gaila said, nodding her head. The cashier nodded as well, "And the subcodes for camping."
"...ye're serious," he was saying, looking at them both like they had taken a dive off the deep end, and were about to go splat right in the middle of Crazyshire. He tried to smile to off-put being dragged over the ledge, with them. "Look, I havenae gone camping, or on tae many road trips...." And there he had paused to do air quotes with his fingers. "...this isnae something we're goin' tae be doin' on a regular basis. I hope. If we dunnae die this time. Sooooo~oooo, can ye simply be a good lass, an' ring this up, sae I can weep a tear inside an' hand ye me debit card?"
Gaila threw a couple of bags of crisps on the belt, then signalled Scotty like she was all done. The cashier finished ringing up, before explaining, a wee bit, "Snacks for the road, hon." She had a smoker's voice, and curly gray hair. She looked like she belonged in bingo while chain smoking.
Fair enough. Everyone has their vices. Or so that was what Scotty was telling himself, and didn't think much of how the lady looked, or if she was going to light up and start puffing away right there and then. He simply held out the card to her, trying not to look at the grand total.
The cashier rattled off a low three digit number, swiped the card, and then handed him the receipt. She'd ninja bagged the whole time.
In response to that three digit number, Scotty was silently saying a prayer to the great robo gods, that Faiza won, otherwise it was going to be another stockpile of ramen. And liquor Stuff in the cart? Great. He put the card and the receipt into his wallet and numbly steered the cart out the door.
Gaila bounded after him, kissing him on the cheek, then the lips, then the nose. Waiting for them outside was their ride. Varric actually had a car. It was a small car, barely enough for the three of them and their good, but it'll do. He waved at Scotty.
Okay, the kisses lessened the brunt of frivolous money expenditures. He grinned at her and then stood on the lower rung of the cart and let it roooooolll toward the car, waving one hand at Varric as they approached. He stopped the cart before it could do any damage, and pulled it back against him, to a halt.
"Cheers! It took longer than I thought it was goin' tae," Scotty said, packing everything into the car wherever he could fit it. It was still a fair amount of stuff, after all. Camping stuff and rolling the cart off toward it's little cart corral taken care of, he came bounding back and into the backseat he went, so Gaila could ride shotgun. Fine enough because he didn't seem to mind being crammed into tight spaces, like that. It was oddly comfortable. He was thinking he'd have a brilliant career, crawling around in air ducts, like a secret agent ninja.
Even better, Gaila crawled into the back so she could sit in Scotty's lap. Varric shook his head, "Bought the whole damn store, eh Tinker? Might do you some good, get some fresh air, that way when you get back you'll be even more motivated." To have excuses never to do that again.
"I dunnae want tae gae in the first place," he was grouching, despite the fact that he had both arms around Gaila's waist, and was tipping his head so he could see Varric and talk around some boobage. "I think the entire thing is shite, an' I dunnae need any trust exercise camping trips. If we get lost out there and dunnae come back after four days, call the authorities and tell them tae send search doggies for our corpses."
"You'll have fun," Varric assured him. "I've been camping before. Nothing but sky and woods all around you. Birds and other animals. I saw an elk." He nodded his head, "Good idea. Let me know general area too."
"That sounds like me idea of hell," said Scotty, and he meant every single word of that. "I dunnae like birds an' elk. Give me spare parts, something tae fix, an' a quiet night of schematics an' tech journals, indoors and I'm happy. Did ye mention the area? Well, I have nae idea either what area we'll be in, because we're following Kirk."
Which was a horrifying thought. Sulu was right, when he'd commented on the valar-net about bear repellent. Maybe he should've looked into that.
"I'll call Playboy and get the location, " Varric assured him. "If he's in anyway responsible, he'll have map and timelines for people."
"Kirk? Responsible?" Gaila giggled.
"That'll be the bloody day," grumbled Scotty, miserably. Words could not express properly, just how much he did not want to go out there and do this. Even if misery loved company, and Sulu and McCoy would be suffering through, also.
Gaila looked to be the most excited in the car about this whole thing. Varric glanced at them in the rear-view mirror, "Just make sure you're at Mad Dogs Monday afternoon."
"You got it, boss!"
"I'm bring wrenches," Scotty was thinking aloud, and not realizing he was doing so, "if anything comes at us, and is furry, then I'm throwing them. I dunnae care. I'll crack their bloody skulls if I have tae. Even if they're squirrels. Squirrels have rabies. They also chew through wiring. We'd better dae a motor check every day, tae make sure we are'nae stranded, because they fried themselves on a the batteries."
He is, sadly, being completely serious. About the rabies and the wiring.
"Honey, they're not going to strand us in two day." Gaila rolled her eyes, "Are you serious? You're serious."
"...hm?" He blinked and tipped his head up to look at Gaila, since that thought bubble just popped. "Serious about what? Bugger, I did it again. Aye, I'm serious about the squirrels. They start fires in houses, ye know. They're HELL on wiring. Ye have tae make sure they dunnae crawl intae things, an' start gnawing!"
"I once knew a man," Varric said, smiling mischievously to himself. "He went out into the woods, and woke up with a pack of squirrels trying to find a place to hide their nuts."
"Furry wee bastards," whispered Scotty, now ready to slay squirrels on sight.
"That was nothing compared to the woman I knew who woke up surrounded by rattlers."
Gaila shrieked!
"Are there a lot of snakes, here?" Scotty was compelled to ask, scrunching his face up like he'd never seen one and would much rather avoid them at all costs.
Varric just chuckled ominously, "Depends on where he takes you, I think."
Scotty was making a mental note to bring a blowtorch.
"One thing you probably don't need to worry about just yet, is bears," Varric assured him. "The probably won't start coming out until April." He rubbed the back of his neck. Unless the unseasonable warmth woke them early.
It took Scotty about two point five seconds to flat out say, "I dunnae want tae gae camping."
Gaila kicked the back of the short man's seat, then promptly started sucking on Scotty's neck, distractingly.
That was...helping a bit, yes, but the depths of just how much he didn't want to go do this, were pretty deep. It would've taken a military command - someone literally ordering him - to get him out of his workplaces and living spaces, and actually do anything related to going on any sort of holiday. Which was why it was so mind boggling that he'd even agreed, at all.
Gaila was just looking forward to a bit of fun with friends away from the city. It was starting to feel claustrophobic.
Exact opposite for him, he starting to feel agoraphobic. Not of the outright panic variety, but more of the slightly unnerving, simply didn't want to do. But ye was, because he finally let Kirk talk him into it. And Gaila had seemed to think it was going to be fun, and he? Did not like diappointing the Gaila. It made him feel wretched. And it was vastly unfun.
At least she'd be there, so that was a bright spot. And, he kept telling himself, Sulu and McCoy would be there also. So that was a very good thing. It meant that there was safety in numbers. In case things went horribly, horribly wrong.
He smiled suddenly and apologetically, and tipped his head away to show Gaila that it would be fine. He was just being crabby.
Unrelated to crabs, which he did not have, because the wing-man rescue cover story was supposed to be Victorian and syphilis. Not crabs. Ugh.
Things weren't going to go horrible wrong. Gaila was positive about that. She was going to have sex under the stars, she hadn't done that in YEARS and here she was going to do it with someone she genuinely loved liked! Glee!
Well, that was nice, and it did tip the balance into her favor, as a reason to go. After all, such opportunities to do things with wonderful, geek smart, fun and funny bonnie lasses - that one loved got along with really really well - didn't happen all that often. So he hoped it was going to be not quite so bad as he thought the rest of it might go.
It was the 'trust exercise' portion that had him on red alert.
They could even discuss astrophysics! Or at least he could and she could listen and add salient points from her much more limited knowledge. She wondered aloud, "Will we be doing like...falling backwards and crap?"
"I'm not falling backwards." He shook his head like OH NO DO NOT WANT.
Varric laughed, "People really do that shit?"
Scotty shook his head. "I'm not!"
"We're not!" Gaila protested along with him, "You know, we really should put down some ground rules on what we will and will not do on this trip."
"I'll come up with those, the second he suggests anythin' I think is dangerous." Because Scotty don't play that.
Or, well, he didn't shy away from conflict, rather, but it wasn't like he went out looking for it. It just seemed to find him, most, when Kirk was there.
Kirk did seem to attract trouble, and not always his fault! Even Gaila would defend him. For no apparent reason. She shook her head, "We need a list to start with."
"Nae," disagreed Scotty, "because if we dae that, then I'll start thinking on the entire situation, an' then there'll be outlines, and precautions, and safety rules, and I won't want tae leave at all."
"You really don't want that, Irish," Varric confirmed. The looks on both men's faces made her quiet down. They seemed to be super serial.
At the very least, Scotty gave her a very apologetic look, and rubbed one hand between her shoulders, down over her back. Just to let her know it'd be okay, and he wasn't going to let a bear gnaw on her skull.