InsaneJournal

Who: Dani, Faiza, and Wrex.
What: Treatment plans, and breaking the news to her boss.
When: 08/25, afternoon.
Where: Urdnot Ranch.
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13, Mild triggers for medical stuff.
Status: Complete!



It had been unusually cool the last few days, and Dani opted to wear a long sleeved flannel shirt over her tank top. It was light enough not to be too warm inside, but the bigger benefit to her - as far as she was concerned - was the ability to hide the way her hands were nervously fidgeting underneath them.

She felt like the last week or so had been a whirlwind. Half a dozen times she’d had to talk herself out of doing something completely reckless (she wasn’t dying yet), and last night she’d nearly fallen off the bandwagon. She knew that the problem was the waiting - knowing something was wrong with no plan to fix it. Hopefully today would at least give her something to focus on.

So she waited for Faiza to step into the room. And prayed to whatever Gods were listening for the strength to get through this.

Faiza came in, and gave her a gentle smile. “Moira and I have been discussing options, and we think we can target this thing aggressively. It hasn’t spread from your wrist. Not yet.”

Dani let out a huge sigh of relief, and nodded, "That's good, right? It's better news than I was thinking it'd be."

If it was just in her wrist then they could probably get rid of it, and she could go back to being healthy. She was really glad that cutting her hair shorter was the only really drastic thing she'd done this week.

The doctor nodded. “We need to do some more analysis and take a sample. I don’t think I can remove it yet, not without severe damage to your wrist, but I can retard the spread so we can begin targeted therapy. This isn’t as easy as removing a lump on someone’s brain, unfortunately. I probably could do it, but I’m cautious.”

"So, targeted therapy. Radiation? Chemo? I would like to leave my wrist as intact as possible, yeah. I'm not right handed, but it IS my bow hand and my preferred hand for certain tasks." Dani chewed on her lip. The idea of her wrist taking severe damage wasn't one she was comfortable with, at all. She was way too active to be without two good hands.

"Radiation, first. I understand. We'll do everything we can to do the least harm while healing you." Cancer was such a terrible thing. Making someone sick just to heal.

"The ironic thing is that's what caused the cancer to begin with. Now it's going to heal it." Dani shook her head at that, and looked down at her wrist. She was certain it was going to blister and change color like it had before. That sure was something to look forward to.

"Isn't there a chance that it's just going to give me more cancer later on?"

“There’s always a chance of remission. However I think once we can kill most of it…” Faiza wriggled her fingers. “I may be able to lower that chance significantly.”

Dani nodded her head, "Okay. This seems simple enough. When do I start?"

“I’ve made an appointment next Thursday. You’ll get the full run up and check up, and then we’ll schedule the first radiation dose, probably the week after.” Faiza pulled some pills out of her pocket. “Start taking these, they’ll assist in the process.”

"What are they?" Dani caught them and looked the label over, "You'll get that sample on Thursday, then?"

This wasn’t going to be cheap. Did she even have insurance? She needed to check with Wrex, "How long do you think this is going to take and how sick am I likely to feel in the process?"

Faiza explained what the pills were for. “Several months. It won’t be as bad as full chemo, so hopefully we don’t need to resort to that, but there will be a lot of nausea, and those will help with that.”

"Remind me to write a very long apology letter to Moira, detailing how very right she was in every possible way and how stupid I ever was for ignoring her doctorly advice."

Dani tucked the pills in her pocket, then jumped down from the table she'd been sitting on, "This is really my own fault anyway. Thanks for not reminding me of that every three seconds."

“Fortunately, I’m not Moira MacTaggert. But she means well.”

Dani nodded, "I know she does. She always did, it's just that her patients are notably stubborn, and I'm easily as stubborn as they come."

"I think it's about time I let Wrex in on this," She added, with a long sigh.

“You should have from the beginning!” And that was the only admonishment Faiza had to give.

"I didn't want to freak him out over nothing. Now that I know it's something, it's time to talk."

She waved goodbye to Faiza, then headed out of there and to Wrex's office, stopping to pick up two coffees. It wasn't really that long a walk otherwise, and she wanted the time to think. She still didn't have a good way to start the conversation by the time she was knocking on Wrex's door.

“Come on in,” Wrex said, looking up from a bowl of fruit loops.

Dani stepped into the office, noting the fruit loops and making a face at him as she sat down. One of the coffees she placed on the desk, near the bowl, "I brought you some coffee to go with your fruit loops, you fruit loop hogging jerk."

“Fruit Loops are for Krogers,” he said gruffly, then took the coffee to drink it with his fruit loops. At least there wasn’t beer in that bowl.

“What can I help you with.”

Beer and fruit loops didn't go together anyway. Beer and rice krispies, on the other hand...

Dani plopped down into the chair across from his desk, and let out a long sigh. She still wasn't sure what the hell she was supposed to say about all of this. Of anyone in her life right now, Wrex deserved the truth.

She often felt like his office was a confessional, "I almost drank on Saturday night. A friend took me to get milkshakes instead."

“Good friend,” he replied, raising an eyebrow but not saying anything else. He left the air empty for Dani to fill, because now was not a time for Kroger rages. It was a time for Fruit Loops and listening.

"Well, we're trying. He's one of those friends who you're getting along with up until you want to punch his face in," Dani replied, with a bit of a shrug. She wrinkled her nose and took a long sip off of her coffee, then decided to just rip the bandaid off, "I'm going to need to quit, I think. Or take a leave. Or something. Not because of the drinking - Well, the need to drink is related to the reason but not directly."

Fuck it, "I've got Cancer. In my wrist. It's not... spreading out yet, but I'm going to need radiation treatments, and it hurts enough for me to be on medical marijuana. I don't need Lorna scolding my ass about smoking it on the grounds. I'm going to be on some pills for the side effects, but they have side effects too, and I'm not really sure how sick I'm going to get."

As an afterthought she added, "... and I really hope I have insurance."

“Shit.” Wrex had the spoon halfway to his mouth, and was staring at her over it. “You got insurance, and I’ll figure out something for the days the pain is too much. You don’t do too much that strains your wrist. I think.”

"I can get some of the kids to take over the horses when I can't handle that, but the big problem is archery. I took over those classes, and I think I can still teach them what's off with their technique, but I can't demonstrate as well as I used to. If we have to take a chunk out of my wrist, I might never be able to again." Dani swallowed back a wave of panic at that thought, and waved her hand in the air, "That's getting ahead of myself. It might not come to that. But you're going to want a backup teacher."

“I’ll look for one. I can think of some candidates and ask around,” Wrex replied, nodding his head. “What’s priority number one is getting you through this, and on the wagon at the other end.” He was stating a simple fact - it would be easy to fall off.

Dani pressed her lips together, and nodded. The news itself had been enough, combined with some other emotional issues. It would be very easy to just give in. She didn't want that.

Wrex almost wanted to give her a hug. Okay he wanted to, but that wasn’t professional. “I know you can do it. Just a good idea to lower the incentive.”

"I think I'll be okay now that we have a treatment plan. Everything was up in the air before, and it was hard to handle. I just need something to focus on," Dani replied, with a nod.

She took another long sip off her coffee, "And Obi-wan texted me. It didn't really help my mental health, but I need to handle my own reactions better."

“Do you want me to shoot him?”

"Eh. I'm going to shoot Logan later, get it out of my system." Dani shrugged. She might have been serious, or might have been joking. It was about a fifty-fifty chance, really.

“I hear that a lot.” Wrex replied, evenly.

"I'm sure that's true." Dani nodded, "But Neena says it's a lot of fun and after the weekend I'm having I'm willing to give it a try."

She looked down at her hands, a bit, and let out a long sigh, "So I'll need Thursday off - they're doing a full work up and pulling a sample out of my wrist. And then she thinks the radiation will start next week, and I think I'll probably need the first day off to see how I react."

“Done.” Wrex had had so much on his mind lately, but it was no question he wanted to help her, and it had nothing to do with her being an investment.

"Good."

Dani got up from the chair she'd plunked down in and picked her coffee up off his desk, nodded at him, and started to make her way out. But she paused at the door and looked back at him, "Thanks, Wrex."

“You’re welcome, kid.”