Jefferson (lookingforgrace) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-08-31 12:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, alice ayres, jefferson (the mad hatter) |
Who: Jefferson Chapelier and Alice Ayres
What: Jefferson finds his courage.
When: Around 8/25
Where: Their house
Ratings/Warnings: R for non-graphic smut
Status: Complete!
Jefferson had allowed Grace to go over to her friend’s for a sleepover, after Grace had asked for the tenth time. In truth, it was nice to have the house to themselves. He thought Alice might be home that night - he hoped so - and maybe, just maybe, he might have a talk with her.
Alice was home that night. She returned with a tote bag of food over one shoulder, fully ready to make dinner. “Jefferson?” She called out, toeing off her shoes by the door. “I brought things to make dinner!”
Jefferson heard her call and came in smiling. “Hello.” He went to kiss her, taking a bit of extra time. “It’s just the two of us; I let Grace go sleep over at her friend Emily’s for the night.”
“Oh, that works, we’ll just have leftovers then.” Alice sighed as he kissed her a little harder, letting her bag of groceries drop gently to the floor. “I was going to make pasta and veggies tonight, if you don’t mind. We could always order in.”
“That would be all right with me, if you’d rather cook when Grace is home.” He smiled. “You had a long day, or at least it seemed it to me. Grace wanted to go, and I thought I could rub your feet later.” And maybe a few other things. It was hard not to make an idiot of himself; just, he felt like he might be ready for the next step; he didn’t know when he might lose his nerve.
“I don’t mind cooking, you know that. Honestly, standing up in flats for eight hours is easy. I used to do it for eight hours in six inch stilettos.” She shook her head. “But I’ll never turn down a foot rub.” Tiptoeing up, she kissed him again, letting her fingers splay against his cheek. “I love you, Jefferson Chapelier.”
“I love you too, you know.” Jefferson smiled, wrapping his arms around her. “You’re lovely, in every respect.”
When he said sweet things like that, it made her blush. She smiled, running her fingers through his hair. “I’m lovely because you think I am. I hope you never stop.”
“Me too. I’m hoping you never stop having your inexplicable crush on an awkward old widower.” Jefferson smiled. He’d been meaning to Talk to her, but he refrained; the more he held her, the more it seemed to be better if it happened naturally. He did kiss her again, though, drinking in that taste.
“You’re hardly old or awkward, Jefferson.” She closed her eyes when he kissed her, sighing and pulling him closer. Nope, definitely not awkward. He’d clearly done this a few times, and she couldn’t help but whimper a little into his mouth when he opened it.
“I feel like both sometimes.” Jefferson chuckled. She was everything young and vibrant. “I really feel like I should thank you. You really brought me out of my shell.”
“Well, you’re neither. I’m glad you’re out of your shell. I happen to like you, and so being with you is good.” She kissed his neck, having to tiptoe up to reach.
“I mean it, though. You should be thanked. You make me feel more alive than I have since Caroline and I were married.” He smiled, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit nervous.”
“About what, Jefferson?” She ran her thumb lightly over his lower lip, cocking her head. “For pasta?”
He just said it. “I may have asked Grace to sleep over at someone’s house. I wanted you to myself - because I’ve been thinking about taking our relationship to the next step.” He blushed hard as he said that - could he sound more like a 1990s after school special? - but he did mean it. “I mean. I feel ready. Maybe.”
That made her blush brightly, grinning. “Really. Really? You’re sure? You don’t have to rush on my account.”
“That’s just it. I don’t think I’m rushing.” Jefferson blushed just as hard. “That didn’t sound ridiculous, really? But no. I just ... I don’t know. The idea doesn’t scare me, or make me feel disloyal, or anything. It ... kind of scares me, if only because I don’t want to be awful, but other than that it sounds good.”
Instead of answering him, Alice just kissed him again, running her hands up his arms to his shoulders, letting them rest behind his neck. She was on board with this, had been for months.
Jefferson shivered pleasantly, returning fire, resting his hands on her hips, just peeking a finger or two under her shirt. He’d touched her skin before and been pleasantly surprised by its smoothness. It was as if he’d forgotten what a woman really felt like, even though he’d touched plenty of them in non-romantic ways.
“Here, we should - probably go to the bedroom,” she murmured quietly. She didn’t want their first time to be in the foyer amongst the groceries she’d brought home.
He murmured agreement, starting to two-step a bit clumsily down the hall with her. “Didn’t want to lose my nerve,” Jefferson breathed, smiling.
“Am I dreaming this?” She kissed him again as they moved, fingers clumsily unbuttoning his shirt. She’d wanted this from the moment she’d met him, seen how he’d shyly averted his eyes from the girls out of respect, not out of shame or fear.
“No.” Jefferson chuckled. “Though I’ve wondered the same. And I’m not saying so to be cliche.” He waited until she’d gotten his shirt off before going for hers, lifting it gently over her head. Her hair mussed - which was charming - and her underthings were so, well, Alice - sweet, but not innocent by any stretch.
“I just ... I never wanted you to feel pressured or worried or rushed.” Alice smiled, kissing his chin and running her hands lightly over his chest. He was more muscular than she’d thought; they were swimmer’s muscles, taut and lean, and she couldn’t help but move closer to him.
“It matters.” She was so patient. Jefferson nuzzled his nose into her neck, breathing in her scent and sighing. They managed to get in the bedroom door, after which he clumsily nudged the door shut with his foot.
“I’m glad you think so.” She continued kissing him as they walked back toward the bed, sighing. “I just want you to be happy, to help make you happy.” She ran her fingers through his hair, closing her eyes at how soft it was. “I’ve loved you for a long time, but that I’ve wanted from the get go.”
He took a breath before reaching for her jeans. “It’s a relief to hear,” Jefferson said, “even though I know it.” He smiled shyly, getting her buttons undone and slowly sliding the cloth away. He’d obviously seen her with very little on, and yet he couldn’t help but be nervous this time. “I feel like I’m seventeen again.” He joked, laughing a little.
“Me too,” she laughed. “I keep expecting my mom to bang on the door, asking what we’re doing.” Not that her mother would’ve cared too much; Alice had been the sort of teenager to have free range from a young age.
“Mine would have told me to take it to my car.” He laughed, letting a hand reach around to unclasp her bra. It took him more than one try, and Jefferson couldn’t help but laugh, embarrassed. “Damn.”
“Your mom was really liberal, then?” Alice chuckled, letting it fall to the floor before reaching up to kiss Jefferson again. While she was on her tiptoes, she reached down to undo his belt, fingers fumbling as well. It wasn’t that Alice was out of practice, just more that she was nervous.
“Yes.” Jefferson smiled against her mouth. Mother of God, they were actually naked. She was even more beautiful - it sounded stupid, but she really was. This was new and exciting and he really wanted to touch her. Everywhere. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little nervous.”
“My mom wasn’t that liberal, but she trusted me. It was nice having that. I shouldn’t talk about this while we’re naked. Oh, god.” She bit her lip as she eyed him up and down, staring and grinning. “You’re gorgeous.”
“I was just thinking the same. About you. I mean.” She was perfectly in proportion. And this was not helping his awkward half-erection. Jefferson took the proverbial bull by the horns and kissed her again, this time a little harder. A little more possessively.
She would’ve smiled and retorted, but the way he was kissing her made her moan into their partly open mouths. Alice wanted to help him out with his erection, but she wanted this to last. Even though she knew it wouldn’t - no man ever did the first time with a new partner.
He knew that, logically, but he still held out a hope for it. Jefferson managed to lift her, picking her up and setting her on their bed. He smiled, still a little nervous, but also excited. It was a relief that he was looking forward to it.
She couldn’t help but giggle when he lifted her up. He was deceptively strong, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, kissing him again. “I love you, you know.” It was her way of telling him that if he had any reservations, if he was still nervous, he could back out.
“I know. I love you, too.” Jefferson leaned her onto her back, looking down at her. He had protection in the nightstand drawer, but he wanted to look at her. Take his time. He smiled, moving to kiss over every inch of her.
Her hands ran over his back, lips over his shoulder, his chest, anywhere she could access. She’d waited months for him, and she’d wait years longer if she had to. “I used to dream about this,” she smiled. “Still do sometimes.”
“Why?” Jefferson had to be honest, blushing faintly - only faintly; he only had so much blood. But he still wanted to ask. It wasn’t as if he was that special. But he also kept kissing her skin. He liked doing that. Quite a lot, really.
“Because I’ve wanted you since I first saw you, obviously.” Alice laughed and blushed herself. “You’re gorgeous. But I never wanted to push you.”
“That means quite a lot,” he said, getting up with reluctance, leaning over to nudge the nightstand drawer open. “That you’re so patient. Though I would like to reward you.” He couldn’t help but smirk a little. His sense of humor tended to come through at odd moments.
“You can’t give me a raise as a reward, Jefferson, we’ve talked about this.” Nibbling at his earlobe, she wrapped her arms around him. “Favoritism.”
“I wouldn’t give you a raise for this, my dear.” Jefferson laughed. He got the condom from inside the nightstand drawer, shoving it closed awkwardly with a forearm. He handed it to her, not sure if it was impolite, but hopefully not.
It wasn’t. She was good at unwrapping them, and she rolled it down over him with gentle fingertips. “Good, the other girls would talk.” They’d have the rest of their lives to explore each other, and she planned on waking him up on languid Sunday mornings with her lips and tongue and fingers, but for the moment, they were going to do what they’d only thought about for months.
It was hard to keep his composure even when she just touched him. Jefferson sighed. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “if this is awful.” He kissed her again, then her jaw, neck, collarbone, everything he could reach, with a steady stream of tiny kisses, as if to plant a boundary line.
“Jefferson, I only want you,” she murmured, closing her eyes. “And you’ve managed to last through me getting naked, so you’re automatically not the worst I’ve slept with.” She closed her eyes, arching into his touch before returning fire with kisses of her own.
"Oh?" Well, that was somewhat comforting. "That happened with Caroline, but I chalked it up to being seventeen." He reached one hand down to touch where he'd kissed, running down to a breast. He wasn't afraid to actually do this, he was just afraid of Alice deciding afterward that she'd made a terrible mistake.
“Mmm, no, that’s just being a man.” Gasping, Alice pulled him closer, kissing him hotly. She was surprised at his forwardness, but she liked it very much.
The reassurance had helped. Jefferson quit talking, sighing into her mouth instead. She was soft and lovely and he just reacted. He spread her legs and slowly started to edge inside her.
Alice ran her fingers over his cheeks, leaning upward to kiss him as he pressed forward. She loved him; nothing he could do would disappoint her. “I love you,” she whimpered, wrapping her arms around him.
At least he didn’t have to ask if it was in yet, dear God; he felt that. Jefferson sighed loudly when they came together. He settled a little before starting, slowly, to move.
Grinning at him, Alice could already feel her breath starting to speed up. “And you were worried,” she panted. Squeezing herself around him, she rocked into his thrusts, coaxing him deeper.
He managed a smile, trying to get into a good position, but then he leaned on one arm and caught her hair underneath. “I’m sorry!”
That made Alice giggle. “It’s fine, it’s fine, just breathe. Don’t be so nervous, sweetheart, I love you.” He could do anything and she’d stay.
It threw him off, though; he tried to get back in rhythm, but it was difficult. Jefferson grunted, speeding up a little. He felt himself coming, and his first coherent thought was something close to shame. “Damn it.”
She smiled, kissing him and cupping his cheeks. She didn’t stop, either; Alice planned on making out with him until he could go again and reclaim whatever dignity he thought he’d lost.
It helped; he might otherwise have spontaneously melted into a puddle of shame. He rationally knew that things happened, but he was disappointed; he’d wanted it to be good for her. “I’m sorry.” Jefferson murmured, leaning onto his side so he didn’t land on her.
“Shhh,” she murmured. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you, and all I want is you. Shhh.” Her hands moved over his back and she resumed kissing him deeply.
“How did you ever get so patient.” She’d been nothing but patient with him for months; he hadn’t wanted her to have to be patient anymore.
“Shitty boyfriends,” she chuckled. “But you know, they were all practice for meeting you.” They hadn’t seemed so shitty after she realized that.
He just hoped the next time wouldn’t be as horrible. Jefferson stroked her face, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you,” he said. “I just ... want to give you a relationship.” Not a friendship. He loved her more than his friends. He loved her more than anyone except Grace.
“We’ve had one for a while, Jefferson. Physical connection is great and all, but in my life I’ve never had the emotional connection that I have with you.” She kissed him gently, running her hands over his chest. “I’ve wanted to make you happy since the moment I met you.”
“I feel the same way about you, but healthy relationships do include the physical.” He was trying to calm down; he might be able to try again if he was calm.
“It does now. We’ll figure it out.” She kissed him again, smiling against his mouth. “I’m glad you never looked down on me for how we met, you know.”
“Why on earth would I?” Jefferson honestly didn’t understand that. “I’ve never understood the ridiculous shaming women get for expressing a natural bodily desire.”
“It was never about my desires anyway. Most of the time, I desired some hot chocolate because I was cold.” Alice smiled lopsidedly, snuggling closer to him.
“You know what I mean, though.” Jefferson kissed her again gently. “I would feel silly casting judgment on someone for that reason.” He was starting to mellow out again.
“I just didn’t want you to think I was a floozy for stripping. You’re one of the few people in the world whose opinion I care about.” Alice rolled over so she was straddling him, reaching down to massage his shoulders, his chest. That year of massage therapy school had taught her quite a bit.
Well, that was rather wonderful. Jefferson couldn’t entirely help a happy noise, eyes fluttering closed. “Mmph.”
“Good?” She smiled and kissed his forehead, resuming her ministrations to his shoulders. “You’re so tense,” she smiled.
“I am.” Jefferson would be the first to admit it. He enjoyed her strong, sure hands.
“About anything specific?” She smiled, leaning down for a kiss before rubbing more.
"I think I psyched myself out," Jefferson admitted. "I was so worried about making a laughingstock of myself." and so, he had. The next time would be slower and he'd try to relax.
“Oh, all men do that, Jefferson.” She smiled and nibbled his lip. “Women would too if you could tell. That’s why we have it easy when it comes to sex. Sure, we might not orgasm every time, but we have vibrators for that.”
“Fair.” Jefferson chuckled. He kissed her again, smiling. “And we can always try again.”
“We can try again every day for as long as you want,” she murmured, kissing his neck and shoulders. “As many times as you feel like.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” Jefferson laughed. “Grace does live here.” But he ran his fingers through her hair, stroking lightly, closing his eyes. “As long as you know that you’re beautiful, and I love you.”
“And she does go to school.” She chuckled, curling closer to him. “I’ve always known that, Jefferson. I promise you.” She ran her fingers over his spine, gently rubbing at the knots there.
“Well, good.” Jefferson groaned softly as she pinched at a knot. “Could we ... maybe try ... again?” The back rub was certainly getting him in the mood.
Laughing giddily, Alice nodded. “Of course!” She figured she’d help him along as well, taking a condom and disappearing under the covers.
Jefferson hadn’t expected that, and blinked hard when she settled under the blanket. “Oh ...”
Nothing like her tongue to coax him along, right? She teased for a few minutes, the goal to get him ready rather than to finish him off.
It didn’t take too long. It had been a very long time since any woman had done this for him, so after only a few minutes Jefferson tried to tug at her hair to tell her that was enough. Once she seemed to get the message, moving up the bed, he took her hips between his hands and helped her sink down onto him. Maybe this was a better position to start with.
Smiling once she was in position, she moved slowly, able to tell when he was too excited by the way he breathed. It let her stop, just settle onto his hips and breathe, lean forward, and kiss him. She didn’t mind helping.
Jefferson immediately felt better, arching up to meet her. This position gave him more time to react, and he could still do his best to get her to react to only him. “Oh, Alice.”
She liked how happy it seemed. It was like watching years fall from around his eyelids, and she smiled down at him, grinning and kissing him as they moved. Yes, this was probably the best thing in the whole world, better than any other time she’d done it with anyone because she actually loved him. It was sad, really; this was the first time she’d slept with anyone she’d been in love with.
He definitely felt happy, and relaxed more the longer they were at it; even though he trusted her not to mock him or anything like that, he still wanted to be good for her. He still wanted to please her. Jefferson stroked her cheek as she kissed him, reaching down to run a hand over the small of her back.
Arching into that touch brought them into some sort of perfect contact. She whimpered into his mouth, eyes closing tightly. “God,” she murmured against his mouth.
That instantly made all the difference in the world. There was not much he could think of that was better than watching her get turned on. He reached up and ran a hand over her small, neat breasts, sighing as he pushed up at the angle she wanted.
Her eyelids shut tighter as she whimpered loudly, forehead against his as she kissed him hungrily again. She’d wanted this since she met him, but was smart enough to know that if they’d had sex any moment before this one, the one he’d picked, it would’ve been uncomfortable and strange.
Watching Alice get more and more aroused was doing wonders for his libido, and Jefferson groaned into her mouth as she kissed him hard. He reached down, fingers scrabbling at her hips, hoping she might actually get to climax this time.
With him actually finding her g-spot? Yeah. She leaned backward, shivering a little as she found the spot again herself, moaning his name as she moved faster.
Jefferson blinked when she leaned, but quickly understood why; the angle felt amazing and the view was just as good. “Alice - ” It wouldn’t be much longer now, but at least this felt like a respectable length of time. He forced himself to think decidedly un-sexy thoughts, if only to hold on a bit longer.
He didn’t have to do that, she was climaxing and she wouldn’t have held herself back if she’d wanted to. Groaning, she shuddered and moaned his name. This had been more than worth the wait.
It was perhaps a minute after she’d lost control that he followed. This one felt much more satisfying, and he felt relief when he caught his breath. Watching her was something he’d keep in his memories for a long time. “I love you,” he managed, closing his eyes and smiling.
That was enough to make her smile, eyes tearing up a little. It made her glad his eyes were closed. Leaning down, she kissed him again, letting her head rest against his chest. “I love you too, Jefferson.” She didn’t move for a moment, wishing she could stretch this part out longer.
They lay like that for a while, before Jefferson leaned up to kiss her. “Let me clean up,” he said, “and maybe we could watch a movie or something?” He really just wanted to keep being close to her. “Order in.”
“Can we eat in bed?” She looked at him hopefully as she rolled off of him, knees to her chest. For some weird reason, she felt a bit vulnerable; it was likely mostly due to the weird thought that she wished they weren’t using a condom, that she was jealous of Verity. Oh, shit. Inwardly, she squished the thought down. They’d just started shagging, no need to terrify him with the “I wish to bear you more children” talk.
“I suppose.” He smiled, going to kiss her once more before going into the bathroom.
Alice couldn’t help but grin at his smile, rolling over to pad to the kitchen so she could find their menus. She felt like she was floating.