Today had been hell. It was all Castiel could think when he got off of work. He was tired, exhausted from the night before, and just emotionally overwhelmed. He hadn't been able to focus all day. It was probably ridiculous, he knew that, but it didn't make it any less difficult.
He had some time before Dean got off work. Normally he might just go home and read or play little video games (he had little creatures to catch and then index) and then maybe make dinner. But today he wasn't sure he wanted to go home, wasn't ready for it.
Instead, he found himself pulling up to the little bed and breakfast that they'd come to the weekend Dean had (sort of) proposed. He'd liked the tea. He'd liked Theo.
While he could get tea almost anywhere, he couldn't get Theo's kind, nonjudgmental smiles any place but here.
He hoped it was alright he'd come just for that.
When Theo heard the little bell above the door, she lifted her head. It was someone she recognized, and that made her smile. “Well, hello, Castiel! How’re you? How’s the boyfriend?”
"Hello, Theo," Castiel shifted a little on his feet, but offered a smile anyway. Really, he did love her smile. It was just so sunny and relaxing at the same time. "He's very good, thank you. Although we're married now." He didn't see fit to blame her residence for that quite yet. And answering questions about Dean was easier than answering them about himself.
“I thought… maybe I could have some tea.”
That made Theo bounce a little. “Oh my gosh, that’s fantastic!” She couldn’t help herself, she wanted to hug him and she moved to the other side of the counter. “May I give you a hug? We can have some tea and cookies to celebrate, of course!”
Castiel actually considered the question with the look of a man who was worried there might be a wrong response. Finally he nodded and shifted a little closer to facilitate the ease of the hug. “I would like that.”
She hugged him lightly, not too firmly, and not with too much body pressed against his. “Thank you,” she beamed. “But I’m just so dang happy for you boys. C’mon, let’s get the kettle goin’. Do you like sweets? I made some cookies a while ago.”
He wasn't generally one for hugs, but he'd been getting more practice in than usual. Hers was easy.
"In moderation," he said, like that was the most obvious answer ever -- because it was, to him. But Cas was feeling better already because Theo was really an excitable sort, and he liked that she just seemed genuinely happy for himself and Dean. So he followed her into the kitchen area, looking around as they went. "How are your -- boyfriends?"
She smiled. “They’re real good, thanks for askin’. We were gonna move in together, but we both live where we work, but they figured out a nice compromise.” She put a kettle on the stove before moving to hand Cas a small cookie on a nice china plate. “Lemon cookie, not too bitter, but it’ll go nice with the tea.”
"Thank you," Cas took the plate and held onto it like he wasn't sure where to put it until he had tea. "Compromise is good. It's nice to hear you get along like that." He eyed up the kitchen thoughtfully, but apparently found it to his liking since he didn't bother adjusting or straightening anything within reach.
He probably shouldn't have kept going. He probably should have just kept with his awkward silence. But apparently he just didn't know any better. "Is it strange? I mean. Does anyone get jealous?"
That was a fair question. “I think it’d be strange with any other two boys. Fred and George are twins. They’re a part of each other, so much so that really nobody can tell ‘em apart. If anything, I worry that I’m interruptin’ what they’ve had for so long. I don’t wanna get in the way.” She sounded fond, and she went to a shelf, taking a framed photo down and showing it to Castiel. It was the twins, looking smug and happy at the same time. “They’re extensions of each other. I just try ... I dunno, to be a conduit, to connect ‘em even more.”
Looking over the photo, Cas couldn't help but think that the two there looked happy, like they probably suited Theo and her pleased smile even more than she knew. That they were brothers -- well.
He went a little pink at the thought of it, but probably not for the reasoning he should have. "It must be very nice. I'm happy for you."
“Well, thank you. But this isn’t about me, I’m so happy you boys got married! What did you do for your honeymoon?” She nibbled at her own cookie, waiting for the water to whistle. Her shoes were toed off under the table, and she swung her legs slightly.
They could have made it about her. Castiel would have been happy to just listen for a while, because sometimes he felt he just did that better. He rolled his shoulders into a little shrug and broke his cookie tidily in half to nibble at it.
"We went to -- Catlina Island. It was very nice, although rather short. It was all a bit shortly planned." He tilted his head to the side. "Really, only a week after we'd been here."
“Sometimes you just know, right?” She let her hand rest on Castiel’s for a moment before the kettle began to whistle. Standing up, she moved to put some herbs in a teapot, pouring the hot water over it. “Even I could see that you two were meant to be together, and that was just from helpin’ you two with your bags.”
Watching her work, Cas finished off the rest of his half a cookie and then sat a little straighter in his seat. "We have a profound bond," he agreed, and knew it sounded stiff. But there was no other way to put it. "In those dreams, I freed him from Hell. Do you have those dreams?" If not, man, he'd just made this really weird. Weirder.
Theo smiled. “I do have those dreams. You’re an angel, and Dean’s the Righteous Man. Am I right?” She’d touched Castiel’s hand, and those words had just stuck out.
Looking shocked only really resulted in Cas's eyes going from too wide to narrowing down into a squint in no time flat. Not wary, just -- curious. That was his curious and thinking really hard look. "Yes," he agreed. "That's exactly right." Not that Dean had been quiet about it on the internet, but he suspect that wasn't how she knew.
“You pulled him from Hell,” she murmured. Their tea was steeping, and she moved to assemble sugar and cream and lemon if he wanted it. “I ... when I touch people, sometimes I know things I don’t have any call to know.”
"Yes," Cas said again, and couldn't help but wonder what else she might have seen. "It's very difficult to not wed someone when you save them from perdition." That actually made him smile, pleased as could be. "That's an interesting gift, you have. I hope it isn't too much a burden?" Some secrets were not meant to be known.
“I don’t like it much, no, but ... I try to control it.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’m a witch in my dreams. I guess here too.”
It was very strange, the idea of angels, demons, witches, wasn’t it? Stranger yet that it seemed perfectly acceptable for Cas to believe it. So many people he spoke to these days were the kind that in another life, Dean and himself by some proxy might have been hunting.
“There are worse things to be.”
“Oh, that’s true. I get to heal people, to help them.” She hummed as she poured him a cup of tea, moving to the fridge. “Sugar, cream, lemon? What do you take in your tea, Castiel?”
“Cream and lemon, please.” Castiel was very poor at things like small talk, and rather embarrassingly felt like he’d run out of questions to ask or things to point out. Instead, he just sat in silence, and pointedly hoped it would be all right with her. Hopefully he hadn’t taken her away from any work.
She poured that into his tea, then put honey and cream into her own. Handing over his mug, she smiled. “Some dandelion root is in there, keeps it from bein’ too sweet.” She sat back down, feeling ridiculously maternal toward her friend. “How’s work goin’?”
He wondered idly if she got the dandelion root from the place that they'd originally met. He supposed it wouldn't surprise him very much if that were the case.
"Alright. I am often the subject of some teasing where my husband is concerned lately, but I suppose it is to be expected."
“Why would anyone tease you ‘bout Dean?” If anyone saw Dean and Castiel together, they’d know that those two boys went together like peanut butter and jelly, like oxygen and breathing.
Castiel looked a little abashed, lifting his tea and just holding it while waiting for it to cool enough to drink. "It isn't Dean in particular, so much as after a decade of working there, I'd never dated before. So. They cannot really be blamed for their fascination."
“No, but they could be adults and respect your privacy.” Theo shook her head. “‘Course, grownups are really just big kids anyway,” she sighed. “I’m angry on your behalf,” she smiled. “It’s what friends do, I think.”
Cas let out a little snuff of laughter at that, and dipped his eyebrows down a little in vague agreement. Never mind that Dean prompted half of it by showing up and making a scene half the time anyway.
"That seems fair. Is there anything I ought be randomly angry for in concern to you?" He felt pleased. Theo offered easy friendship, but he found he could definitely use some of that.
That made her giggle, smiling delightedly. “Not that I know of! Fred and George’s family like me well enough, and I’m the boss. My coworkers have to be nice to me or I can fire ‘em.”
"That's a relief," Cas admitted, "I wasn't sure how well unprovoked anger would have really worked." A paused. "But I would have been willing to try. It's mostly just a blessing I didn't have to." Was that humor? He'd really been trying for humor.
That made her laugh again. She was particularly delighted to see him teasing, and she squeezed his hand. “You make me laugh, Castiel.”
"It's a gift," Castiel said, wryly. He knew very well that it wasn't, but he certainly had been trying and making some few strides lately. With a lot of things. "Cas. If you want. I realize it's easier."
“Which do you like better?” Theo understood the trials of having a long, difficult name.
Never having considered it before, the brunet angel only tilted his head to the side in thought. "I have no real preference. Cas seems more informal. It's a bit new as far as first names go." But she knew that, since he'd just been James before. It seemed like a very long time ago.
“I’ve always been Theo. Only Mama called me Theophilia, so I understand that. Cas it is.” She sipped her tea, sighing happily. “I’m glad you came to visit me, y’know. You’re sweet, I was hopin’ we’d get to be friends.”
There was something about hearing one's full name used in a particular tone that implied a world of trouble. Cas got that, and only nodded a bit emphatically as if to say he was well aware.
"I hadn't seen you at the park, lately. I thought -- well." He wasn't sure what he'd thought. It'd been a bit impulsive for him to stop by, but he found he didn't mind. "I appreciate it." He didn't have a ton of friends. Sure, coworkers he spoke to. Dean of course. Garcia, as well, but she'd been Dean's friend first, and he wasn't sure how that was meant to work.
“I’m glad you thought that.” She stood up to get them brownies, putting them in the microwave for a few moments to warm up. “So, did you move in with Dean, or the other way ‘round?”
“He moved in with me. I already owned a home.” And it was nearly paid off too, because he was diligent like that and also had no life. “It seemed to make the most sense. What is the compromise that you made with your boyfriends?”
Theo nodded. Castiel seemed to be the sort of person to be steady and to own property at his relatively young age. “Oh, m’boys connected my house to theirs via magic. They’re so smart. I’m the luckiest girl I know.”
Theo was awarded with a narrow eyed super squint before Cas finally just deemed that very strange sentence acceptable. Even if it was weird and should have been impossible. Who was he to judge, considering his own circumstances? “Double the space could certainly be helpful.” Not that it seemed like Theo needed more space what with the size of this place.
“Well, it means we can do sleepovers and be sure to be home in time for work the next day.” She chuckled, knowing that he thought what she’d said was unlikely, outrageous, crazy, or a mix of all three. She didn’t disagree. “I could show you if y’wanted.”
A mix of all three, please. But he didn’t think it was impossible either, considering. He finished off his tea, and then the other half of his cookie before giving a nod. “I would like to see.” A pause. “Please.”
That made her smile. She moved to rinse out the cups before putting them in the dishwasher, small plates tucked away as well. “This way,” she beamed, motioning him to her room. Pointing to the large wardrobe, she laughed. “That’s it. If we walk through it, we’ll be at their place halfway ‘cross town.”
Castiel very pointedly did not look around her bedroom -- did not want to look curious in someone else’s most private of spaces -- but did peer very thoughtfully at the wardrobe, even taking a second to look at the wall behind it. “That’s very… CS Lewis,” he said finally, rather proud of himself for making any kind of pop culture reference at all. So what if this particular reference was seventy years old?
“I thought so too, only it’s less Narnia and more messy twenty-something boy bedroom.” She hopped into the wardrobe, stepping through and checking to make sure the twins were at work. “C’mon!”
There was nothing stranger than stepping into a wardrobe and ending up in a different room. Castiel blinked, expecting to have felt something -- the passing of distance, or time, or something -- but found he hadn’t. It was just like stepping through a doorway. He looked perplexed for a moment, turning around to spy Theo’s room through the closet door before turning around to look around this new room.
It was sort of a mess, and it was very hard to ignore the piles of unfolded clothing mounting on a bed. It occurred to him that upon seeing that kind of magic first hand, he should not have been so bothered by the disorder of the room. But he was, and it wasn’t something he could help. “This must have taken a lot of talent,” he said, eyes studying anything but the beds or the messes. Mostly the ceiling.
“What, the laundry explosion?” Theo giggled, taking his hand and guiding him back through the wardrobe. “M’boys are gifted, it’s true.” She knew what he meant, but she liked teasing everyone.
Just so long as she was aware. His fingers curled easily around hers as they exited, and wasn’t it just strange, to step through a closet, close the door to a wardrobe and realize there was another place behind it? It made him miss things from his dreams he hadn’t yet seen here. His wings, heaven and all its endless facets.
“Thank you. That was very enlightening,” he told her, feeling strangely solemn over it. Sometimes he couldn’t help but just ache over what he wasn’t, yet. Particularly when others seemed so fully realized. “I shouldn’t keep taking up your time, though.”
“You’re not takin’ up any time of mine,” she smiled. Then her hand tingled a little, and she cocked her head to the side. “I reckon’ you’ll get your wings sooner or later, Castiel, not to fret.”
Castiel felt his face go pink with the burn of slight embarrassment, and he had only the sort of grace that would allow him to look abashed (but not the kind that gave him anything else). "I know. But it's very strange," he admitted, "to wake up feeling like I'm not completely here." Strange wasn't quite the right word, but he wasn't sure what was. He'd only spoken about this shortly with Samandriel, it seemed too hard to explain to anyone else.
“You feel like part of you’s in Heaven still with your daddy?” She squeezed his hand again. “I think knowin’ humanity’ll serve you well, sweetheart. It’ll help you help other people and to connect better with Dean. I reckon’ you won’t have too much longer to worry.” She’d liked getting her telepathy well enough for the same reasons.
Even after thirty seven years of it, Castiel didn't really understand humanity. He saw no point in arguing that though, since he was well aware it was because he was strange and not anyone else. She had a point though -- about Dean. Dean, who was always a bit unpredictable, even to him. He could stand to know the other man better than he already did. He wanted to.
"You're right," he decided after a moment. "All in proper time." God did work in mysterious ways, after all. "You give very good advice, you know."
“I think that’s half’a my job,” she smiled. “And you’re my friend, I’m glad to do it.” She kissed him on the cheek, pleased to have someone so sweet, so obviously good in her life.
Cas didn't quite blush so much as look momentarily uncomfortable at such a show of affection. It was an innocent thing, and he realized it. "I will remember that," he said, honestly. Sometimes he did need someone to talk to. Theo was fairly nonobjective -- in a way that Garcia might not be. He liked that.
"I'm not. With advice. But I do listen very well." Hey, he had to make his own offering, right?
“A good listener’s worth their weight in gold, Castiel. Remember that. Pretty much everyone in the world can talk, but not as many can listen.” She smiled at him, hoping he felt better about himself.
He did. Nodding and looking solemn, he stepped away a bit and looked toward the exit of her bedroom. It was clear that he'd had enough social interaction for one day, but was taking to heart the fact that it had happened at all.
"I'd better be off." a pause. "But I think Dean would like it if I bought him a pie."
“He’s an apple fan, right? Cheese or no?” Theo smiled, moving to assemble a sturdy cardboard pie box.
What cheese had to do with pie, Cas would never figure out. "Yes. But no cheese." That didn't make sense. He shouldn't have had to say so.
She smiled, putting a plain apple pie in one box, and one with cheese baked into the crust into another box. “Take two,” she smiled, labelling both of them with a cheery purple Sharpie on top of the boxes.
Well, fair enough. Dean would probably eat them all in the space of two days, anyway. Castiel had never been particularly fond of sweets, but figured he'd probably be coerced in a slice anyway. "Thank you," he said. He had a feeling she was about to tell him not to worry about the price, but he pulled out his wallet anyway, neatly organized and thin because he had no need for constantly pushing useless receipts into it.
She shook her head. “You’re a friend, so don’t worry about it.” She waved him on, smiling to herself. “You just say hi to your husband for me.”
There was something to be said about being able to read people at least sometimes, anyway. Cas gave her a wry expression before taking his pies. "I'll do just that. Thank you. For the -- tea." Or friendship. You know, whichever.
And then he was off. He'd been right though. Theo's smile had helped.