Tate Langdon was the darkness. (noble_war) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-08-25 16:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !trigger warning, tate langdon, wrex |
Who: Wrex, Tate
What: Tate seeks out a place to haunt stay.
When: Right after this convo
Where: Urdnot Ranch
Rating: Medium, just to play it safe, for language and passing mention (without gory details) of shooting sprees, rape, murder/suicide, etc.
Status: Complete!
Wrex tapped his finger on the desk as he looked over some files. He was in a grumpy mood, but as a Krogan, he usually was. He decided it was time to take a break, and stood so he could get some grub.
He wanted fruit loops.
Noooope. Tate didn't bring frootloops. He was a ghost, so the need for food kind of went out the window. It sure as hell made hopping into the backseat of cars at intersections a whole lot easier, not to mention a whole hell of alot of free bus rides. So getting to the ranch was easy, but Tate wasn't so sure if this was still the right thing to do or not.
He was sure he didn't want to injure or kill anyone anymore. And to do that, he was going to have to do the group thing, and not be left on his own, wandering around aimlessly, being a pissed off anarchist. Hey, grumpy Krogan and a pissed off 18 year old ghost. What could possibly go wrong?
He knocked on Wrex's office door after he was directed there, and waited for a response.
The kid was here sooner than he’d thought. Wrex sat back down. “Come on in and have a seat. Tate?”
Food would have to wait, and he just hoped he didn’t bite the poor kid’s head off. A break would still be nice. This would have to do.
"Yeah, I'm Tate," he said, closing the door behind him and dropping his bag down by the chair, before he sat down. Dark eyes skimmed around the room like he was checking out everything in there. Not to case the joint, but more done out of wanting to make sure it was secure and no one was going to be listening in. "I'm dead and I'm a fuck up and I can't ever go home, because my mom's a cocksucker and people keep ditching me, because I’m an asshole."
Well, he's also blunt, too. So there's that. Enjoy.
"Wrex." Wrex nodded his head at the kid, and then nodded again and then blinked and shot a sharp look at Tate. "Wait, go back to that first one. Dead?" Like Alma dead.. or?
One second, Tate was sitting there looking like an overgrown innocent blond cherub, and the next he was gone. Entirely. Vanished into thin air. A few more seconds ticked by before he was 'solid' again.
"I'm dead. I'm a ghost. I had some shitty dreams where I killed and hurt a lot of people. Then I killed my girlfriend and myself, here, because I was afraid she'd push me away again like she did in the dreams. But she got her body back and ran off with some other guy. So, yeah. Even in my dreams, I had rejection and mommy issues. I'm a mess here, too." After a brief pause, Tate let out a flatly spoken and profoundly enthused, "Yay."
Wrex stared at him for a long moment. He couldn't exactly point at the kid and say anything about killing people, when he himself had killed a whole lot of people. But he clearly needed help and he looked like he wanted help. Wrex figured if people were keeping an eye on him it would prevent more bad things from happening.
"Do you at least feel bad?"
"Honestly? I’ll be up front with you. I highjacked some dude here and we went on a shooting spree. I felt like I had nothing to lose anymore. In the dreams, I shot up a school. I killed people I liked. I killed people I didn't like. I raped my girlfriend’s mom and I shoved a fire poker up a gay guy’s ass. I didn't feel much of anything when I did it, until afterward. It was like I was on autopilot or something...."
For a long moment, Tate sat in silence with a thousand yard stare. He finally blinked and seemed to bring reality back into focus again.
"I lost my girlfriend a little while ago, because of all that stuff. I lost her for good. I was tired of hurting people there, because I wanted to be better for her. Now I'm just tired, here, and the shrink didn’t do jack shit. I miss her, people always leave me, and I'm always alone. I wish I hadn't done any of it. So yeah? I feel bad. I feel fucking rotten as shit. I want to be better. I’m not sure how to do that."
"You're in the right place then," Wrex replied. "It won't be easy. There's a lot of hard work, and there will be times you'll want to bash your head in on the wall and scream, but we can get you through it. That's what we do, and what I do."
The expression on Tate's face was one filled with hope. It was also a little reluctant, because he had been burned too many times from the time he was a kid to put his trust in adults.
"Cool," he finally said, with a tentative smile. "What kind of stuff do I have to do? I know I can chip in and help out. No prob. But there's not like drum circles and shit out here, is there? No offense, dude....but that's kinda lame."
Any drum that Tate was beating on, was going to be accompanied by super sarcastic eye rolling along with the beat.
Wrex knew that look. He knew how easy that look could be crushed, so he thought about how to proceed. "We do have those. But mostly we have classes, training, and working with animals. Horses and farm animals. There's a science lab, a small library, a computer lab. There's crafting classes as well if you want to make things with your hands.If you have any useful skills you can mentor other kids, or receive mentoring."
"I'm not doing no drum circles, man. No way." Tate was smiling when he said it, because the thought of doing that was so dumb, it was funny. He has also never really been around anything other than his mom's dumb excuse of running a doggy daycare out of her house, which was mostly her walking them on leashes while chain smoking a lot. As it was, he already ran into instances of animals freaking out because of knowing something was off and he wasn't human, so having big dogs bark at him and other animals freak out was a pain in the ass. "I'm down with being mentored or mentoring little kids. My older sister had Down's syndrome, so I'm used to being around kids like that. I ran track in high school and I read a lot. The library sounds good. I could help out in there if you want?"
...and not shoot the place up. That would be nice. Seriously.
“Could use someone at the library,” he agreed, deciding that if Tate wanted to do something it was good to encourage it. “And we don’t have anyone for track and field.”
"Hell, I'll do both. Starting with the library." Tate's smile was infectious. "Thanks. Is there a place where I can put the crap I brought with me, and any rule books or anything I should look at?"
Wrex got to his feet. “Let me show you to the dorm. There’s an empty room right now you could use. Make yourself at home.”
"Ok." He stood up, grabbing hold of his bag and looking ready to go. What he said next probably would have caught most people off guard. "Have you ever killed anyone? I mean, most people would probably say shit no, get the fuck out of here, psycho to someone like me. Unless they went through something kind of similar. Or they’re really into fuck up fixer-uppers."
“Yeah. I have. A lot of someones. Most of them were shooting back at me. But not all of them.” His expression darkened into something resembling remorse. “Was simpler in the dreams. There, you knew who your enemies were. You didn’t have to give any fucks when you killed them.”
"If there were enemies, then it sounds like a war where you racked up a body count." Tate was quiet and contemplative what seemed like a painfully long time, before he mumbled under his breath, "Its way easier when there's no fucks to give about it. It's when you start giving a fuck, that makes you never want to do it again."
“I started giving a fuck. And that’s where Urdnot Ranch came from. I thought I’d pay it forward.” He smiled, a genuine, warm one. “I like to think it’s worked out.”
"If no one's gone postal," replied Tate, "then I guess it's worked out."
“If past patterns hold, you’ll get a chance to let out aggressions in a mostly hostile matter.” Against husks, Cerberus grunts and who knows what else decides the ranch has a target on the roof.
"I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore, but if can be something...I don't know? Constructive? To protect someone or something?" Tate shrugged. Doing something good with his destructive tendencies and having a way to channel it out so it didn't hurt innocent bystanders appealed to him. "Hell yes. I'll do it. Until then, I'll keep my target practice to first person shooter games. Unless you have a firing range...then maybe I'll do that, but only under some supervision."
Wrex nodded. “We have an archery range, and you can have supervision. Welcome to Urdnot Ranch, Tate. You’ve taken a big step.”
"Archery isn't my style, but ok." He grinned at Wrex and nodded. "Thanks. For letting me stay and try to get better when nothing else worked. Maybe this will."