bad choices, bad days, and bad words.... Who: Alex Summers and Lorna Dane-Summers Where: The house What: Anger, annoyance, an anxiety attack, a breakdown, and reactions When: August 21st, evening Warnings/Rating: PG-13, trigger warning for all out anxiety attack Status complete
Lorna wasn’t at all expecting the texts she got from Scott. She was just sitting around working on a new commission when they arrived. A couple texts in she curled her knees up under her chin, leaving her crocheting to the side. She texted faster, her brow furrowing, her lips tightening. She shook after a few more texts, unable to look away from her phone.
This was what she’d been dreading. She had to put on ridiculous clothing and go fight ridiculous villains. Scott wanted a moral compass, and she was the only one available anymore.
Alex was in the other room , just resting, when he decided to make brownies. So, trudging there, and mixing the mix, took next to no time. But when he heard some sounds from the front area, he trekked that way the brownies now in the oven.
“Lorna, babe?” Then he saw her face. And he ran to her side. “What’s going on?”
Lorna handed Alex her phone, then hid her face in her arms. She didn’t want this, not even a little bit. She was afraid, and worse, she was angry at Scott for asking this of her. He knew what she was like, how could he even begin to put this kind of burden on her?
Alex read the texts, his face growing stonier by the minute, then he put her phone down, and hugged her tight, one hand pulling out his phone and sending a text. “I am sorry, love, that my brother was an utter and complete Twat to you.”
“I don’t want them to get hurt.” Lorna managed to say, curling up into a tighter ball. “But I can’t do this.”
“And he should not have asked you too.” He growled, then hugged her tight, stroking her back. “At the very least, he could have simply asked you to act as backup in a non-offensive manner. And not resorted to emotional blackmail.” He spit the words, and then kissed her hair and her neck, sighing and relaxing to try to calm her.
Lorna cried when he kissed her, clasping her hands tight around him. Emotions welled up inside her, overwhelming her. She was angry and afraid and sad all at once, and she couldn’t begin to process or handle everything she had going on right then. Her body convulsed as she cried, her sobs so powerful she was having trouble getting enough air.
Alex hugged her tight, stroking her back and her hair and rocked her gently, and close. “I’ve got you, babe. I’ve got you and it will all be okay.” He held her close, and wished, violently, that his brother would fuck off.
She didn’t so much calm down as she stopped having enough energy to cry. She held on to Alex limply, still shaking. “I can’t do it. I can’t watch people get hurt. I wanted to try, to see if I could be a hero, but I just can’t.”
“I know, love. I know. And he should have respected that.” Damn it. “We’ll work on alternative ideas of things not involving combat sometime, if you still want to try to help, then. For now, you just breathe and relax.” He kissed her hair and her forehead, still holding her and stroking her. “Drink some water, then light up.” If he had ever seen her in need, he knew he saw that now.
Lorna nodded, but didn’t move. She was afraid to let go of Alex. Luckily, she could get a bottle of water with her powers. It floated over gently, and she took long drinks of it. Up until her stomach rebelled, then she was out of Alex’s lap and dashing for the bathroom.
Alex rocked back out of her way, then slowly followed, unsure whether he should enter after her, or what sort of reaction her stomach would have,. but fetching her a towel anyway. He replied a couple more times to Scott and then shut off his phone to the net. Fuck that. “Lorna? Will you be okay?”
She nodded, rinsing her mouth out and taking the towel. “You’re right, I need to smoke right now.” She wobbled toward the back door, the bag with her pipe and stash floating after her.
Alex rose and followed her, hopeful that her smoking would help. This had been a bad one, and he would have to talk to the doc to see if there was any other way he could help Lorna in times like these. When they got outside, he gave her a big hug.
Darius was on the porch, trying to look like he hadn’t fled the house when Lorna started crying. He waved shyly to Lorna and Alex, and then got up to go back inside.
Lorna waved back, but didn’t say anything, either. She sat on the bench they’d put on the porch and began packing her pipe. After a moment of consideration she reached a conclusion. “I’m an enormous coward.” She put the pipe in her mouth and started to light up.
“No you are not. You’re a pacifist, and you hate violence, and even the idea of violence. You’re a good woman and strong, but you also have acute anxiety disorder, and if Scott was thinking, he would know that you do not belong in a combat situation, ever.” Alex nodded, fiercely defending her to even her.
“I don’t want him to get hurt. Or anyone.” She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down.
“I know. And really, the best way for that to happen is for you to not be in this fight. Lorna, you have a chemical imbalance, and a disorder that can take years to even fully balance out. Much less cure, if that is even possible! Your place is not in a fight. The closest I think you should ever come, and that is if you are insistent at it, is transport to and fro. “ He kissed her hair and hugged her from behind.
Lorna sighed. “I have all this power and I can’t use it. I can’t do anything great for humanity because I can’t explain how I did it. I could power California all on my own, greatly reducing our fossil fuel usage and price of electricity, but all I can do is work slowly, person by person, trying to fix a bunch of kids society’s mostly given up on. I can’t protect my friends or family, I can’t even handle the thought of seeing most of my family, in the dreams or otherwise.”
“Lorna. Life is not about doing great deeds. Life is about making it better, one step at a time. The price of you powering California would be worse than you not doing so. You are not a fighter. But there are ways you can help people, if you want to, if you want to sit down and work at it. You could be a help to a lot of people and right now you make a difference that is palpable to those kids. Maybe someone else could do it, but no one else could be you for them. You give them a gift and they need that.”
He nodded softly.
“I just feel like I’m wasting my potential, and that someone else could use my powers better than I do.” She squeezed his arms against her body, and took another long pull off her pipe.
“I think that you have these powers for a reason and that you’ll find it in time, one that works with you and for you.” He hugged her. “You just need to give it time, and maybe a good therapist.”
Lorna nodded. “The dreams are making it worse. I know that for a fact.”
Alex nodded. “I can understand that. You saw how I reacted to my latest dream, and I’m still having some nightmares about it.” he shivered. He was not too proud to admit he was afraid of what the dreams had ahead.
“If that’s an example of the dreams, I wish they had never happened.”
“That’s a fact.” She knew he was still disturbed by what he’d seen, and she couldn’t blame him. “You ever think of leaving Orange County?”
“Sometimes. Yeah. I would miss it and the people there. But yes.” He smiled wryly to her. “I haven't lived here most of my life. And I have a lot of contacts elsewhere. Heck, we could go to Japan.” He grinned.
“I was thinking about New Mexico, actually.” Lorna admitted. “We were going to go on a road trip that way anyway.”
Alex nodded. “We could do that. Go and check out where our house was in the dreams, and stay in the area for a day or so, then see what else draws us.” He smiled at her.
She nodded, shivering a little. “Sit next to me. I just want to snuggle for a little while and try to forget that some of the people I love are doing stupid, dangerous things because Orange County is made of bullshit.”
Alex settled readily next to Lorna and hugged her tight, stroking her back and her hair. “We can go swimming and floating in the hot springs a little later.” That would help relax them both, and hopefully let them sleep after this horrendous day.
She nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. “As long as it’s with you I don’t care what we do.”