Lie Ren (strongsilentype) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-08-23 10:07:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, tiffany maxwell, wall-e |
Who: Tiffany and Wally
When: Recently
Where: Bar
What: Meeting for drinks
Rating: Low/None (some swearing?)
Status: Complete
On a scale of one to ten... No, Tiffany couldn’t really place how she felt about seeing Wally after everything that had happened. She felt responsible for it, responsible and a little ashamed. Cos throwing someone out of the house wasn’t a normal response when that person said they loved you. It was pretty damn messed up, especially since the guy was Wally, a guy who seriously deserved better. She had feelings for him, too. Love was just a scary word...
But she owed him an apology, that much was pretty clear. Just because his timing was bad and she was a mess, it wasn’t an excuse for what she’d done. She was nervous, though. It had been a long time since they last saw each other and they hadn’t really spoken in between. There was no way this wasn’t going to be awkward, with or without alcohol, since she was waiting to meet him in a bar. Still, Tiffany ordered and other vodka tonic, just in case.
Wally really didn’t have any idea what he’d done wrong. But there was a part of him that thought it was over. He’d been moping since she kicked him out of her place--well, aside from the part he spent in Frodo’s body. Still, he was moping, just in someone else’s skin. But when she’d asked him to the bar, he was secretly hopeful. He had no idea what he was hopeful for, but that was a better emotion than being angry.
He showed up, dressed nice, but not too nice, and looked around for her.
Tiffany leaned back from the bar as she heard the door open, catching sight of Wally over her neighbor’s shoulder. She smiled, even though it was one of those small, nervous ones, and hopped off the stool. They’d sit at a booth, now that he was here; something a bit more private.
He'd been looking for her, so the movement caught his attention. Though his expression was soft and unassuming, he wasn't smiling. He moved over to her, looking more concerned and wary than anything else. "Hi."
She waited where she was, between the bar and the tables. holding her drink tightly so it wouldn’t slip out of her hand. Her heart picked up speed. When Wally was close, Tiffany nodded to one of the booths and sat down. “Um, you can get a drink first, if you want.”
“Yeah.” He watched where she sat, then moved to the bar to grab a beer. One of his hands ran through his hair as he waited, purposefully not looking back at her. She was one of the most beautiful creatures he’d ever seen. It was hard not to look, but he managed. He was terrified that this was more of the end.
He came over a moment later and slipped into the booth opposite her, setting his pint down in front of him.
A few seconds of silence ticked by. Well, there was music on the radio and a tv in the corner, but it still felt like silence. As usual, Wally was declining to speak first, but that was okay. Tiffany knew she was the one who needed to say something. “So… thanks for agreeing to come. I would have understood if you said no.”
“Well, I wanted to see you.” Wally said, simply. He was really, really trying not to be hopeful. It’d hurt when she kicked him out, and then the lack of contact… well, he’d been sad. Really sad. And sad wasn’t something Wally was used to. He turned the pint glass around on its coaster.
“So, you’re welcome.” He added. Too many words. His head hurt a little.
Tiffany sighed. She leaned back against the booth and let her hands slide from the table into her lap. “Things got… kinda messed up there, for a while.”
Wally was watching her face. Trying his best not to watch the rest of her body as she moved, and a little frown crinkled the lines of his forehead. “What happened?”
Some of it, Tiffany really didn’t want to talk about--like the stuff about how she fucked a bunch of people in the office. “I got fired. I spiraled the drain.”
Wally’s frown was more concerned than anything else. He hated to see her upset, even after… everything. She’d kicked him out of her place after he’d confessed that he’d fallen in love with her. But that didn’t mean he’d stopped loving her. “What? How?” He asked. “Why?”
Tiffany pressed her hands against her cheeks and, drawing the skin along with them, moved toward her mouth. The result was a momentary smushed pair of lips. Then, she shook her head. “I did some stupid stuff. Sexual stuff. I sorta… freaked out, after the whole body swapping thing.” Kill me now, she thought.
Now he looked more shocked than concerned. How on Earth was he supposed to respond to that? Sexual stuff? Did that mean… well, if she was doing sexual stuff in her office… it must mean that what they had together wasn’t as important to her as it was to him. The shock fell into a frown, a sad one. A confused and sad one. “I see.” He said, turning his eyes to the pint in front of him. Now he didn’t have much desire to drink it.
Tiffany wanted to let her head drop to the tabletop. Wally didn’t say much, but it was really easy to see she’d just snuffed out all the light in his eyes. This was a guy who’d told her that he loved her. And even though right now she felt like sex and love were two really different things in her life, there was no room for her to argue that. She didn’t want to, anyway. “It was really stupid and I wish I could take it back.”
There was no trying to deny that he was disappointed. He’d obviously thought very differently about their experience together, whatever it was. Wally now felt incredibly foolish. Of course it wasn’t… he wasn’t… He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.” It was all he could think of to say.
“Shit…” Tiffany muttered. It sort of slipped out. “I wasn’t gonna tell you, but I didn’t want to not tell you… It was slutty of me, but it didn’t mean anything.” Yeah, that was a great explaination. “It was just sex.”
“Uh huh.” Wally said, nodding. It was just sex. He’d had sex before, sure. Before Tiffany, obviously. But nothing was ever just sex to him. The poor guy. He didn’t have just sex so he didn’t understand it. Not really. “I’m sorry you lost your job,” he said, and that part he meant.
“Ugh,” she groaned audibly, clenching her jaw. “Look, I know you don’t like to talk a whole lot about things, but right now, it would be really helpful to me if I knew exactly what you’re thinking. I don’t want to just guess. If you’re mad, tell me you’re mad.”
Wally shook his head. “I’m not mad.” He said, then took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m … disappointed?” His eyes did that squinty thing when he wasn’t sure those were the words that he wanted. Asking the poor boy to put his thoughts into words? Honestly, Tiff, you should know better.
Disappointed was way worse that mad. She’d heard it enough from her own mother and sister. Sometimes, Tiffany felt like her brain was making a list (on its own) of all the people she was a disappointment to. The word really hurt.
“Well, I didn’t… I mean, I didn’t have my own body for a week and when I got it back, I went a little crazy. I didn’t think I could call you. And I did something stupid.”
He wasn’t disappointed in her. He was disappointed by what she’d done--what it meant. By the idea that it meant… well, that it meant the end to whatever it was between them. That she obviously didn’t feel anything for him--as if kicking him out after he told her he loved her wasn’t enough, now he had more proof. She really didn’t care about him the way he cared about her.
“You could have called me.” He said, though, it was… awkward. Now it was awkward.
Maybe someone could have called him, maybe some other girl, but not her. Tiffany pressed her face against her hands again. Even if she wasn’t crazy, she’d done things she couldn’t take back. “I don’t know. I thought about it…” she said quietly. “I wish I had.”
He wished the same thing. But now he didn’t know what to do. What to say. He leaned back a bit in his chair, not looking at her. It was hard to look at her. And a little painful.
Tiffany took a breath to collect herself. In spite of all the pain and awkwardness, it did feel good that she was getting some stuff off her chest. Well, not good. A relief, though. “Anyway, I wanted to see you cos I wanted to apologize. And tell you that I’ve missed you.”
Wally blinked, finally turning to look at her. As if the rest wasn’t confusing enough. Now she missed him? Or she missed just sex with him? She could get it from anybody, really. So… why him? He simply stared, trying to figure out what she meant by that without jumping to conclusions.
Tiffany watched him blink. She blinked in return. “You look surprised.”
“Well… I am.” She had kicked him out of her place. Then relative silence for a while. And now she’d gone and got herself fired for… sexual acts? For just sex. The kind that she’d been having with him? Question mark? Yeah, he was surprised when she said she missed him.
“Surprised that I missed you?” Honestly, Tiffany was a little surprised. Even though she did stupid stuff, she was still honest about it. He had missed him and she wanted him to trust that she was telling the truth. In her eyes, kicking him out made a lot more sense than saying “I love you” before she was ready.
“Yeah.” Wally said, nodding. “I figured you never wanted to see me again after…” Y’know, kicking him out and everything.
“I just needed time to process the whole… thing. You know, the whole love thing.” She gulped as her voice trailed off.
"Oh?" Wally finally turned to look at her again. Suddenly his heart was beating very fast.
Tiffany reached for her drink, even though she didn’t ultimately lift it to her lips. “...I like you alot. But love kinda freaks me out. My parents got divorced. My mom and sister are ultra old-fashioned… Love has never really seemed… real, to me.”
“...I’m sorry?” Wally had been alone for far, far too long. Ever since he moved out on his own when he was a teenager, he’d been alone. He watched people, and listened, but he didn’t understand people. This was all new and crazy territory. “It feels real to me.”
“I know it’s supposed to feel real,” Tiffany sighed again. “It’s just that people break promises and they lie to keep up appearances. That’s my experience with love, except for in my dreams--so I know what it’s supposed to be like. But even then… life can be one big car accident.”
Wally nodded, watching her face as she spoke. He looked at her eyes, her lips. He considered her words carefully. “...I’m not lying.” He said, softly. “And I don’t make promises that I don’t intend to keep.”
She didn’t think he was lying, because this mess wasn’t about him--it was all on her. Tiffany knew that. She nodded softly. “Well, I’m not lying about missing you, either. So if you’re okay with me not being ready to talk about love, yet… maybe we could try going out again.”
It took him only a moment to consider it. There was a part of him that was nervous he might say something that would make her kick him out again. He wasn’t sure he could handle it. The last time had been… incredibly awkward. Painful. But he did love her. Very much. And he wanted to try.
“All right.” He said. “I just hope I can hold it in.”
Tiffany couldn’t control the fact that her cheeks went bright red for a moment. She looked away, fighting the smile that threatened to crack her.