Azula burns bright (bornoffire) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-06-05 22:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, azula, ty lee |
"I'm not scared of anything."
Who: Azula and Ty Lee
What: Aftermath from this dream
When:^^
Where: Their condo
Status: Complete!
Rating: PG-13 for freak outs and kissing
The emotion-riddled words cut through Ty Lee's dream, which was perfectly fine with her. Other people got to dream about being winged horses or making fire come out of their hands, but Ty Lee had been stuck in the realm of boring. Which was what she was officially calling the place she went to in her dreams, she'd decided.
She sat upright and blinked her eyes sleepily, then looked around her. Someone had been crying out her name. "Azula?!"
Whatever it was, it sounded bad. She bolted out of bed and through her door, down the hallway and into Azula's bedroom without a second thought. Which means she didn't even think to grab anything to defend either of them with if it'd been a break in, but at least you couldn't question her loyalty.
"Are you okay?!"
Azula struggled into a sitting position. She was wiping at her face when Ty Lee came in, and part of her was upset she had responded - she didn't want to be seen like this. The fire had been so close.
But Ty Lee had come back, and Azula practically launched herself at the other woman, hugging her. She might have to be extra mean later to make up for this. She'd been locked away, left to rot in a gilded cage, while her brother took all the spoils.
Ty Lee, and Mai..there was pain and anger there, but she couldn't remember why any more.
The worry that had driven Ty Lee into Azula's room was quickly erased by a mixture of elation and shock. Azula was actually hugging her, clinging onto her in fact, and that was wonderful! And terrible. Frightening in a sense. Why was Azula hugging her like this? What had happened? What was going to happen later because of it?
She let out a calming, "Shhh," and petted her hand through Azula's hair. Whatever had happened had clearly rattled her, that was certain.
"Never breathe a word of this," Azula whispered, her voice catching as a sob escaped her throat. Fire and flame and manipulating thrones and it could all be taken away, by her brother. And somehow he'd taken her friends away, too.
"Never," Ty Lee agreed. Her voice was gentle and filled with emotions she was never sure she should express. She held Azula against her and gently rocked her back and forth. In this moment, Azula was the one that needed someone to step up and be strong, though she would never admit it. Ty Lee was perfectly alright with being that person, knowing that in a few hours, when it was over, the roles would switch again.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Azula wanted to kiss her. Like in the dream. But she had too much control for that and was struggling as it was to not start crying again.
"I was locked away. Everything was taken from me. My fire, my friends, my birth right."
"Your fire? Oh, those dreams again?" Ty Lee nodded and kept on very gently rocking her, "I can see how that would be devestating."
"It's like this energy that..flows through me. I was kept chained, so I couldn't use it." She sat back on the bed, pulling Ty Lee down with her. She had no intention of letting go. Not just yet, anyway.
Ty Lee, now on Azula's lap, curled up against her. She hadn't let go yet either, and refused to do so until Azula demanded it.
"I feel like I understand what you mean, but I also don't," she admitted, "But I know what it is to lose everything you thought you had, and I'm so sorry."
Azula wouldn't normally do anything so undignified as sniffle, so she was pretending she wasn't sniffling in the slightest.
I know all your life has been pain. What did that mean? She felt like she didn't want to find the answer to that.
"I'm not like you," she said, harshly. Even when needing comfort, she couldn't help but cause pain. She tried to clarify that, "I have everything."
Instinctively, Ty Lee flinched a bit, then found herself trying to re-word what she meant, "No, I know that, what I meant was, that you were dreaming about it, and... I understand why it would be an upsetting thing to dream."
"They..chained me to the ground, because I was so dangerous." Azula sounded oddly proud of that.
"I bet you were the best fire-energy-making person in that dream place," Ty Lee sounded proud of her, too, and like it wasn't any doubt at all that whatever Azula was good at - dream land or reality - she was the best at. She squeezed her friend again, "It's only as real as you want it to be."
Azula freed one of her arms, and clenched her fist, willing fire to shoot forth in a river of flame, but there was nothing. Not even a spark. Her other arm remained firmly around Ty Lee's waist, as though she was afraid the girl would leave her alone.
"You came to visit me..and then you left. And you didn't come back." Azula was accusing.
"But that wasn't ... really me, Azula." Ty Lee frowned. Why would she visit Azula and then leave her like that? She couldn't think of any reason that would happen, and her own dreams gave her nothing to go on. She wasn't even sure they were connected, "I can't think of a reason why I'd do that."
"To say good bye." Azula's lips were dangerously close to Ty Lee's. Another half inch, any....she pushed Ty Lee out of her lap, before she did something she couldn't stop. She wiped at her eyes with both of her palms, like trying to erase the evidence of her shame.
"But you're not going anywhere. So I don't have to say goodbye to you," she said, after she'd been pushed off of Azula's lap. She'd been expecting to be ejected at some point, but wished it hadn't happened so soon.
"You were the one that was going, Ty Lee." Azula looked up at her and for the briefest of moments, she was that frail, half-sane prisoner, looking up as Ty Lee walked away.
"Well I'm not going anywhere now. Unless you want me to. Or... well I have to go to London, but I'll come back!"
To say Azula wasn't worried about Ty Lee coming back would be a lie. She was.
The woman rubbed her face, then grabbed Ty Lee's arm, "Tomorrow I need to fly up to San Francisco for a personal meeting with my father. I think he is going to let me in on the other side of the business."
It was about time, in her book, but.. "If I am this..out of sorts. It could ruin things." She pulled Ty Lee back to her, and gritted her teeth, "Help me."
The grip was painful, but Ty Lee didn't care. Azula needed her, and that was the most important thing in the world to her.
"Anything you need," She breathed, like her next few breaths were dependant on Azula's answer.
Azula had to know. She yanked Ty Lee the rest of the way into her lap and kissed her.
They were kissing! ... They were kissing? ... Ty Lee just hoped she didn't suck at it! But she wasn't pulling any punches on this one, either. All the emotions she'd been scared to hide went right into that kiss.
It was just like the dream.
Azula broke the kiss, not quite meeting Ty Lee's eyes, and swallowed a lump in her throat. She didn't know what she was feeling.
"You always knew me best...what..?"
"I know you." Ty Lee nodded.
Azula was hoping she'd explain what she was feeling. Because she didn't know herself.
She tilted her head to the side, "I think... there's lots of things that you could be feeling right now? But I think that you're scared of feeling anything at all."
"I'm not scared of anything." Except maybe what Ty Lee just pinpointed, "Anything at all."
"You say that because you are scared but being scared is ... well it's another emotion that you feel like you aren't supposed to have."
She'll leave, Azula reasoned. She didn't know why, but she was certain of it. Because she couldn't say the words that were lodged in her throat. She leaned in, as though she were going to kiss her, then turned her head away at the last moment.
Ty Lee frowned. This was ... well it was completely new territory for the both of them. She wasn't sure if she should kiss her or not.
Azula's voice was a low whisper, "I'm hungry. We should make breakfast. I doubt I'll get back to sleep."
"Let me make you something, I bet you'd feel better if you had a hot shower."
Exhaling warmly in Ty Lee's ear, Azula considered that for a moment.
"I'll cook you eggs, and pancakes, and bacon, and ... oo, how about an omelette?" she sounded so excited about the idea of cooking for Azula that it was hard to take it as any other way but genuine.
Azula actually smiled at that. She kissed Ty Lee's cheek, then slid out from under her. A shower was just what she needed right now. Because she had control over herself, her emotions, and her body.