Montgomery Scott is a miracle worker (warp_speed) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-03-21 01:10:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, faiza hussain (excalibur), gaila, james kirk, leonard mccoy, montgomery scott |
Your lives will depend on me.
Who: Faiza, Scotty, McCoy, Gaila, Kirk
What: Robot is great success! Kirk suggests a 'trust building exercise' weekend, in the woods.
When: Today!
Where: Mad Monty's
Rating: PG-13, language
Status: Complete
Faiza had swung by Varric's, loading an old oven onto the lorry she'd rented, and was now backed up to Mad Monty's. She honked her horn!
Well, someone would come out, barreling down the steps, if the hadn't remembered they needed to put their boots on. So Scotty is hopping up and down trying to do that as soon as possible, haphazardly tying the laces, and then heading for the steps. "Aye, give me a moment, would ye! I'm moving me arse."
Faiza honked the horn again. Obnoxiously. She'd given him plenty of time for a tryst. There were ovens to smash!
"I'M...just...I'm RIGHT bloody well HERE, ye see?" he said after making his way to the driver side door and looking up at her. "Stop playing with that! Get oot an' ye can have a demonstration."
"How are we getting the oven off the lorry?" She peered down at him, "Varric was kind enough to donate something to destroy. Maybe we can cut it into parts for other things!"
That was when the form of help, or possibly that, pulled up in a battered truck. Stereotype though it was, McCoy actually loved the thing and kept it in good running order anyway.
"Need some help with that?" he called through his window as he went to park.
"Oh, right." Scotty's brows knit together as he thought about it, and he appeared to come to a solution. "Back it up through this door, there, and I'll unload it. I've got a trolley...hand truck...thing...oh, well aye, actually could use extra help. We got this!"
He gave McCoy a thumb's up.
Faiza stared at Leo, and immediately started fidgeting with her scarf, "Okay." She nervously stepped on the gas, and the lorry lurched backwards about 20 kilos an hour too fast before she hit the brake, looking sheepish.
"Lass," Scotty said, as straight faced as he could be without laughing his ass off at her, "get outtae there. I'll take it from here."
McCoy gave her a little smile all her own, and might've ducked his head a little, before that happened and...Heh. He was grinning, even if he wasn't laughing.
Faiza had a good explanation for that, "I'm a doctor, not a lorry driver!"#win
She hopped out of the truck and stepped to the side.
"Obviously. Keep it up, and ye'll need a doctor," he said, very much amused. Into the truck Scotty went, slipping past her, and he made sure she was clear before he slammed the door closed. "McCoy, be a good lad, an' spot me, would ye? Sae I dunnae run over the good doctor, here."
She might get flappy or flaily. Scotty was just being cautious.
Up the stairs, Gaila was standing and peering down, watching the goings on with amusement. Her eyes were at half-mast, she had a satisfied grin on her face, and as she walked down the stairs she walked with a certain lazy swagger.
He did not need to see that. In fact, Scotty probably didn't need to be leaning out the window, since it was rolled down, and grinning at her like she was covered in candy and unopened bottles of scotch. Oh, right. Eyedarting now. He just waved a hand at her like KNOCK THAT OFF and sat back, starting the truck and moving it so he could properly back that bitch up.
Gaila finished buttoning up her shirt. Oops.
Faiza squinted at her. At least it looked like they'd showered.
McCoy went ahead and started directing traffic, so to speak, making sure that everything went well, though he did glance over at Faiza and grin. "What am I, a coroner or a traffic cop?" he asked.
Oh, what if they'd done THAT in the shower? Faiza smiled at McCoy, "A little of both today, duck."
That truck? Backed up. And once Scotty turned the engine off, he'd popped out and ran back to open it up and take a look at the oven. "Oh, well done! That'll be good fun tae chop tae pieces an' pound on." He was off and running for a hand truck, already!
Faiza? Hopped in place and clapped her hands, then realized where she was and composed herself. Ahem. She adjusted her headscarf.
Gaila plopped down on a bench, winced, stood up again, and looked around. She grabbed a chair, turned it around and sat in it backwards.
McCoy laughed and moved around where he could help get the thing down. "So. Destruction and mayhem." he commented. "Ever been to a demolition derby, either of you? It's a real hick thing to do but fun."
A loud clatter and clang and Scotty was running back with the trolley, lobbing a smile over at Gaila as he passed by. It was not sloppy. IT WAS. Ramp down? Up he goes and there he goes, trying to get the thing down the ramp with McCoy's help, without it falling out...not that it mattered. It was going to get wrecked anyway after all. He did shake his head at the derby thing, since he'd never been. He needs no help blowing things up at this juncture.
"Isn't this sort of like a demolition derby? Except its all remote controlled and there are chainsaws and fire." Faiza made her way towards her robot. HER robot. Oh my...
It has an arm to go smash! Another arm with chainsaw hand to mess things up like bzzz! Bumper boobs that knock things back into smashing range! And fire that flies out of it's face, like the mother of the guy that built the damn thing! All painted like a Union Jack too. Shiny!The hou-robot that Scotty built
Scotty would've rather painted it all blue and white but it's not his order and he's not keeping it, so...more power to you, tea swilling, biscuit eating lass!
"This thing's amazing." McCoy said, leaning over to get a closer look at the robot. So many features he'd never start to understand. It was kind of amazing, really.
Oven thing in place, Scotty closed in and put his hands on his hips, chest puffed out a bit, nose raised high in the air, looking like he was swelled up with pride. Not even alcohol induced. "Aye, it's turned out better than I'd thought it would. I just hope it dunnae explode!"
"But," he added, mindfully, "I put the propane there up high enough, with enough buffers that it should take several hits before anything goes tits up."
"Well, there's a comfort." McCoy said dryly, shaking his head as he tried not to laugh. "I'll know you did your best not to end us all, even if it does happen." Little nod.
"I think this one will hold," replied Scotty, giving it a nudge with the toe of a boot. "Oh, before I forget. Guess who I'd phoned up and screamed at?"
Scotty smiled, and the smile was slightly maniacal!
"Did you really now?" McCoy looked pretty impressed. "I was getting close to that myself. Well, I don't scream but...you know. How'd he take it?" he wondered, curious about that.
"I think maybe he got a bit serious, for once. Maybe. I suppose I'd have tae see that meself, but he was minding his manners when I'd gone an' met Gaila's friend at Mad Dog's, afterward." He shrugged like it SEEMED okay. "Ye still goin' tae talk tae him, then?"
"Still do, yeah. I wasn't sure what tactic I was gonna take." McCoy admitted. "Field trip down to the 'office' as a demonstration, or some sort of just concerned friend card or what." The thing was that he WAS concered. "But I think i've gotta deal with it in my way too. Maybe if we all say it..."
"Office. OH. Oh, that. That might be a bit much, dunnae ye think?" Scotty was wincing, like he could only imagine the sort of stuff that McCoy must see on a daily basis. "I think, aye, maybe we all need tae. Just pull him aside somewhere quiet. I havenae talked tae Sulu though, not in person or over the phone. Not yet."
"I'm not sure showing someone a pack of corpses is the best idea," Faiza interjected, while running her hands up and down her robot. "Maybe just one."
"Well, yeah, it'd have to be a slow day." McCoy agreed. "Don't want to scar him for life or keep him from enjoying himself at all. Your ways probably best." he nodded at Scotty. "Demonstrations can be kept in case we need em later. Which I hope to God we don't. Damn kid." he added, affectionately.
"Maybe it'd require something blunt like that, I dunnae know." By that point, the Scotsman had folded both arms over his chest, defensively. He gave Faiza the time to inspect the robot. "He's a right mess, innae he. I'm not even half as reckless as he can get. Mostly I just shoot me mouth off, an' it's over an' done with. I worry instead he won't just get us busted up and bleeding, but will kill himself. And that'd be a pitiful shame. He still seems like a good lad, all other things withstanding."
"You're sweet on him," Gaila said, from her chair. She looked like she wanted to curl up and nap, like a sated tiger.
"Get aff! Shuttup, I am not," he shot back, in what sounded like anger but really wasn't. He even rolled his eyes upward, like that was ridiculous in the extreme. "I like Kirk in that 'he's a good lad tae have a drink with now an again' way. I dunnae want tae give him kisses and have him hold me while we drift off tae sleep at night. Ye arse."
"A big mess." McCoy shook his head. "Can't help but feel like it's my job to keep an eye out and..." He snickered.
"I was talking to Leo." Gaila gave them a big grin.
Faiza picked up the remote. It was smashing time!
"Aye, he's a big mess. I dunnae know. I worry if we try tae gang up on him and he takes it the wrong way, it could lash back an' smack us all in the bloody face. Collective. Face. Faces. Plural. Oh. Ye were?" He blinked and then eyedarted, ending up staring at McCoy. "Yer really sweet on Kirk? Ye like tae live dangerously."
Speaking of dangerous things? Scotty moved waaaaaay out of Faiza's way. And gave Gaila a look like maybe she should explain the controls a little bit, since she set them up.
"Not like that." McCoy assured Scotty. "He's pretty sure, but more..I don't know. Sibling type instinct kicking in. Contrary to the cuddling thing, it doesn't mean...well lots of people cuddle."
Gaila got out of her chair and walked over to Faiza. Where she stood too close while teaching her, and touched her too long.
Being a total asshat, Scotty smiled at McCoy and asked, "Did ye bring the candles?"
"Oh yeah." McCoy snickered at him. "Midnight fantasy or some shit it's called." he added, making a name up off the top of his head. Sounded like a candle name to him at least.
"Oooh, fancy! I hope it wasn't tae expensive. I got the champagne off the discount shelf. Probably tastes like stars and vinegar," Scotty joked while trying not to crack up laughing, and watched Faiza and Gaila for a moment. "Is she touching on the doctor tae? Jesus, Joseph, an' Mary riding comet, naked." Squint.
She was, mostly to annoy him!
The robot suddenly revved to life! It swiveled and spun, then raced down on the defenseless oven like a tiger on its prey. The chainsaw cut cleanly through it, the breasts jutted out, finishing the splitting of the oven and then came the fire and the sword chopping down. The bot rolled over the wreckage, and spun around in victory. Through it all, Faiza had a maddened gleam in her eyes.
McCoy watched, let out a little whoop that sounded a bit too good ol boy to be shared often and was clapping. What? That had been cool.
Gaila just stared.
Scotty stood there, both arms held high over his head in the classic cheer pose of massive winnage. Yay!
The robot spun, spitting fire!
It wasn't done with the oven, and started tearing into the wreckage like a thing possessed. Faiza could only admit one thing - this was FUN.
Scotty could tell. He was also backing up just to play it safe, before wreckage started flying. "Well, at least she's having a good time!"
Hang of it? Scotty would say she's got it. Definitely.
This was pretty amazing for McCoy. It WAS kind of like the demolition derby, or actually. "Monster trucks. that's what this reminds me of."
Scotty nodded!
Powering the robot down, Faiza giggled.
Then she ran over and threw her arms around Scotty, kissing his cheek, "Thank you! This is amazing, its perfect!"
He laughed and gave her a hug in return. "Aye, not a problem. Make sure tae win! I dunnae think yer goin' tae have any problems there, though. Ye ripped it a new one."
"That's..so FUN! I think I understand American Football now."
"Brilliant! I dunnae at all. But yay, ye understand it now!"
She hugged him again, then for good measure glomped onto McCoy.
"About all it looks like to me, even growing up here's..." McCoy stopped talking at the glomping, and was obviously very happy about this. She got a hug back for her troubles too.
Gaila covered a snicker.
"Hell, I missed the good stuff!" Kirk strode into the garage, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He looked at McCoy and gasped, "Bones! Betrayer!"
"Divorce incoming," quipped Scotty, with a shrug. Not his fault!
"Aw honey, I can explain." McCoy said, which, no, he couldn't have, actually. "How you doing, kid? Here for the crashes?"
Faiza quickly separated herself from McCoy, and gave Kirk a stern glower. Then folded her arms.
"Actually, I stopped by to talk to Scotty, but you're here and that's perfect because I wanted to talk to you too!"
Scotty's eyes bulged out a wee bit, in that classic impending horror type of way, where it was something that was seemingly unavoidable. And scary. He looked frozen in place, and turned that O.O expression onto McCoy, like 'what do we DO?'
"Oh yeah?" McCoy asked him, raising an eyebrow. "That's pretty mature, considering what I think this is about." Pause. "We should find somewhere more quiet we can do that part.
"Nah," Jim replied, waving a hand. "Nothing about our dirty laundry and dirtier phone calls." He ignored Faiza's squint, "I've been thinking. Dangerous, I know. But I do a little thing on the side where I take soccer moms and hockey dads out into the woods and teach them how not to die. So, I'm going to take us!"
Blink. Stare. "What?" McCoy asked him, looking horrified. "Like...camping only playing survivor too?"
"Robot first. Dunnae want tae put the lass through any troubles," Scotty was saying, getting ready to load it onto the truck. Kirk might sneeze and then all their hard work would be destroyed when ninjas or zombies showed up, en masse. Scotty already was shaking his head like OH HELLS NO, at the mention of being taken out to the woods like a soccer mom around Kirk. Hell only knows what would happen then.
"Sulu's on board. We won't even rough it that much. I'll bring tents. Steaks. Some booze but not too much. You don't want to be entirely snockered out there." And Kirk sounded confident. More so than some of his other schemes, because he sounded serious.
Gaila wandered over, "I've always wanted to make love in a sleeping bag."
"There is that, yes," Kirk replied, grinning at her.
He did sound serious, and McCoy had to give him credit for that, he guessed. "I..guess I could stand to review my first aiding in the middle of nowhere." he concluded. "Just in case, and all." He'd do it. "Speaking of first aiding, how's the hip?"
"Nae, absolutely not. I'm allergic. Tae the outdoors," said Scotty, loading up the robot, he so is, by driving it up the ramp into the back of the truck. "The outdoors is lacking a few things that I happen tae like, very much. Electricity. Machinery. Being able tae take a tinkle without some small critter latching on an' me gettin' rabies. Cheers, but I'll pass. Send a postcard."
"Hip's fine," But he did pull that part of his pants down a bit to peek at it, "Come on, Scotty. Practice. For being stuck in a tube for 6 months with the rest of us." Gaila looked at Scotty, "It sounds like fun, why can't we go?"
Faiza looked a them all like they were nutters.
Scotty was also pretty much looking at them like they were nutters, the minute the robot was loaded in and he was handing Faiza the remote. "Lass, if ye know what's best for ye? Ye'd run, get in, an' drive off. Fast. Oh, and win!"
That done, he announced, "I'M NAE GOIN'! I dunnae want tae. Ye cannae make me, either. There's likely piney needles. There's nae piney needles tae poke ye, in outer space. Dumb arse." Scotty waved both hands like HELLS TO THE NO all over again, and was ready to head up to his quarters loft, like he was not entertaining this craziness. "He'll probably arm wrestle a bear!"
She gave him a thumbs up, and another kiss on the cheek, "Oh, I will, I promise." She hesitated, then wrote something on a card and handed it to McCoy, "You obviously have things to deal with. Thats my flat, just call me before dropping by. We can walk to a coffeeshop."
Scotty had given Faiza a grin at the kiss on the cheek, for what it was worth. Then off for the stairs, he went.
Kirk laughed. "I wouldn't arm wrestle a bear. It'll be fun, Scotty. You're worried about the shit I pull, right? Let me prove I know what the hell I'm doing. I know this kind of thing. I could make a gun from indigenous materials if I had to."
The look Scotty gave him over his shoulder, as he marched up the steps, was one of him highly doubting he could make a gun from materials laying around in the wilds of California. "More likely tae be mauled by a mountain lion."
Kirk followed him up the stairs, leaving the women McCoy included downstairs, "I'm not going to bribe you, or cajole you. I need to do this. We need to do this, all of us that are going to be involved in this."
McCoy gave her a little smile and a nod. "I'll be sure to program you in." he told her, and started doing that right then. You know. So it'd be there when he needed it and all.
"Oh, I'm used tae living in cramped spaces. Been doin' that all me life. Shoved in a dorm room for the entire time in university, with two other poor bastards. We managed tae survive. If we are in space, there's less chance of YEW doin' anything tae cause troubles. I think I'll live. An' take me chances being in the comfort of home, with me technical journals, internet, and the pub that ways," Scotty said, pointing in the precise direction of Mad Dogs. He poured a little scotch into a coffee cup and swiftly drank it down.
Faiza fidgeted, watching his fingers dance on the phone, her mind being rather annoying and thinking THINGS. He was so...so nice, and not disgusting or vile or foul mouthed in the slightest! His friends might be a little crass but she'd been around worse, and who was she, miss robot mad,to talk? "oh bugger..." She murmured. Then she kissed his cheek, ran to the lorry and drove off like a madwoman.
Jim leaned on the counter, "You can bring a couple journals to read, and there'll be a cooler of beer. Good stuff. I do this to make MONEY Scotty. Peoples' lives depend on me. Your lives will depend on me, I just have to prove to you that you can put your lives in my hands."
"Cannae I simply put me own life in me own hands, an' fall asleep in bed, here, happily, with me manuals? Because, nae offense, lad, but I'm gonnae say that between the two, I know which one sounds more appealing." He poured them both some whisky, and slid the other cup over toward Kirk, but was still eyeing him warily. "Aye. It's the 'lives depend on Kirk' part that has me eyeing you with suspicion."
McCoy stood there stupidly gaping for a long, long moment. Because wow. Just...damn. He hadn't expected that at all. Just, you know. He'd assumed from the scarf and all that she wouldn't be the type of girl to kiss you before you'd even had a date. "Damn..." he muttered, grinning.
"That's what I need to prove." He straightened, folding his arms, adopting a pose and a voice that had nearly gotten him a commendation instead of simply discharged, "Wilderness is serious business."
Gaila walked past McCoy, elbowing him playfully, then sashayed up the stairs.
"I've fucked up lately, I know you're me-shy," Kirk added.
He was, of course, giving that pose and voice to a notorious stubborn arse Scotsman, who - while back in Aberdeen and Glasgow - had made it a point to mouth off to people twice his size and still manage to survive. Mostly about physics and mechanics, but still, an argument is an argument. Scotty didn't look too impressed. However, that last bit did cause him to quirk one corner of his lips up a bit, in a half smirk. Like maybe that was the case.
"I dunnae hold a grudge for what happened before, at that party. But at the same time, ye kind of get the measure of people the more time ye spend with them, lad. I dunnae think ye know when tae quit," he finally said, after some thought. And it was there that Scotty gave Kirk an apologetic shrug.
"Sometimes you have to take a stand," he replied. And then he did something unexpected, "Please, Scotty. Come with me on this."
"Ye arenae begging, are ye?!" Scotty said, leaning away and giving Kirk a stare as though he was wondering what the hell that was about. "I'm more worried about ye an' Sulu not being able tae handle being cooped up. Honestly!"
That was when McCoy wandered up on the end of that bit of the conversation. "That IS something of a problem, true." he agreed, not mentioning why he looked like a pig in a poke right now. "I've been looking at a couple studies. Not extensively, just what you can find at Jstor but..."
"I survived boot camp." Almost, "That's not a problem."
A fellow voice of reason. Scotty just pointed at McCoy like he might have some backup. With age, comes...well not wisdom, per se, but more of a recognition of the 1001 things that can go wrong. And Kirk ought to listen! That's right, listen to...well...he's not a doctor doctor but...forensic doctor. Yes.
There Scotty went, pouring some whisky into a cup for McCoy, and holding it out to him.
"I want to go to the woods." Gaila folded her arms, stubbornly. She had visions of snuggling Scotty, and all the other assorted things that came with that.
"Why thank you." McCoy took the whiskey appreciatively. "I'm thinking we're gonna have to get creative. And we'll be wanting to consider exercise in all of this. I'm not having anybody get a blood clot in the middle of space."
"Blood clots," said Scotty, pointing some more, and taking a drink out of his own cup. See? That's why listening to McCoy was good. No blood clots.
Kirk raised an eyebrow, "See I knew it was a good idea bringing you on. But you won't get blood clots in the wilderness."
Gaila opened her mouth to say something about sex being enough exercise.
Oh it's fine, he can't stop her from saying it, because Scotty was too busy trying to find her a cup to pour some of the scotch into, because he can't go forgetting her. Cup! Liquor! Holding it out to the girlfriend. You takes? Yay, you takes.
"Sex is enough exercise!"
"Gaila! What the bloody hell!"
"She has a point," Kirk said cheerfully.
"Ye cannae dae that with everyone," Scotty whisper hissed under his breath to his girlfriend, like 'no, bad!' Then he added in a low murmur, "Find sparkle knickers." Cough cough, taking a drink of scotch now, didn't say a thing. But he looks like maybe he's thinking about...avoiding blood clots. Damn right that's what he's thinking about.
Kirk grinned!
Gaila snuggled up to Scotty's back, purring in his ear, "One sleeping bag. Me naked. You naked."
Nooo! He wasn't about to cave into a pit of primal sexy tendencies! He's strong, he has willpower!
"I dunnae want tae gew," so says Mr. Scott, very stubbornly. "I dunnae want tae, it'll be a disaster. Can I at least think on it...and....what would I have tae bring, exactly? IF I did join ye for this holiday that I'll absolutely loathe the entire time I'm stuck outside, being miserable."
"What's the point of it as it is? I could be here, working. Planning. Researching. Cannae we simply dae this thing...here?" Scotty smiled hopefully at EVERYONE present.
"It sounds like ah..team building. Trust exercises and shit." McCoy said, looking at Jim for confirmation. "Only please god, don't let it be the one where you have to fall back onto a lot of people and hope they catch you. That game's freaky."
Kirk tilted his head, "Technical manuals. I want you to give us a lecture on some of your ideas, if you're willing. Couple changes of clothing, warm clothing."
"Oh hell no, no falling!"
"I'm shite at lectures," Scotty admitted. "I'm a hands on doer, Kirk, an' me brand of lecturing means I'm about tae make me point with a fist. Or a wrench. I suppose I could give a wee talk on this or that, but I more or less need input on other things besides engines an' propulsion an' structure, ye know, from other people. Sae I know what I need tae work on."
"We can do that too," Kirk replied.
"Cannae I simply tell ye that I trust ye and we both just move on with our project? Would that work?" Someone's getting desperate.
"I don't know, does that work for you, Bones?"
Scotty looked over at McCoy hopefully, like :D and everything, because the woods? Not appealing, really.
Gaila, meanwhile, was still whispering the sort of things they could do in the wilderness together. Like skinny dipping beneath a water fall.
Scotty thought that would be cold, so he's trying to bump his butt back against her like she can stop that!
"As much as I don't like nature, it seems like it'll be a good idea." McCoy admitted. "Chance to see what you can do and all, Jim." he added. "And well, to see what we're all good at as a team, yeah?" He was for it.
At least it would be just them, and Gaila it looked like. Kirk wasn't ready to integrate whoever Sulu found yet, at least not in this extreme way.
"Bloody traitor. Only saying that because ye two probably picked out curtains together, already." Scotty shook his head, before waving one hand toward Kirk like 'whatever!' It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't him being stubbornly saying no anymore. It was a reluctant acceptance that he was going to get talked into it, and he'd probably be complaining off and on.
"This calls for alcohol," Kirk declared. "Got any beer, I need to get home coherently!"
Scotty had an expression that could dry out the sahara even more, as he took Kirk's cup and filled it up with coffee, then held it back out to him.
See the face? It is the face of an unhappy Scotsman: >:|
McCoy looked at Jim and gave him a little tiny nod. Good for you Jim, being responsible. Maybe this camping thing would really help a lot with that.
Kirk toasted him, then drank the coffee, "Thanks." He clapped the man on the back, then kissed both Gaila and McCoy on their cheeks, "Trust me, this won't be anywhere the roughing it I've done in the past. Its more of a lighting it. There'll even be inflatable beds." He usually just used whatever he could find.
"I'll hate it," Scotty said, but he looked a little less irritable about the whole thing, like it was settling with him that he was going and it was inevitable. He'd give Kirk the benefit of the doubt. "Sulu's gotten himself talked intae this, I'd bet."
Sulu didn't strike Scotty as being well versed in the outdoors, either. So at least there was someone else to suffer well with.
"A little bit," Kirk admitted. "We had a good talk. I apologized, a lot."
"Well, that's good, I suppose. Tried tae clean up. Felt terrible." Scotty even looked a little distressed, if it was possible to scowl and look distressed at the same time. He was managing it. "Sae, it's only us....what....five, then?"
"I felt terrible too," Kirk admitted. Lets see, him, Sulu, Scotty, Gaila, and McCoy, "Seems like it, unless someone else invites themselves along."
"Fuck, that party." McCoy winced a little at the memory. Not because of Jim being there or anything. "Guilt doesn't even start to cover that." Then he patted Jim's shoulder a little. "We can't do that again."
"I don't plan to!" Not like that anyway.
"Nae, not again," agreed Scotty, wholeheartedly. "Sorry, lad. Porn parties at Sulu's, terrible idea. Let's just stick tae pubs, without wee people. I hope."
"I can host the next porn party!" The words flew out of Gaila's mouth before she could stop them.
And, Scotty supposed, it made sense for the people who were going to be crammed into a small space for however long, eventually, to maybe...spend time....Scotty turned his head and gave Gaila a look that PLAINLY said NO WAY.
Wait, the look wasn't enough, "Ye cannae be serious!"
"Definitely no more small people." McCoy agreed, quite firmly. "And uh. Porn parties just lead to other things so I'm not thinking that's a great idea. "
"I'd say it's not. It's a bloody awful idea, Gaila!"
"But I have a whole collection! I get girls gone wild free for life!"
Kirk's porndar klaxons started to go off, "Wait....how?"
Scotty did the WHATSAMATTERYOU hands gesturing at her, because he can't just ANNOUNCE the reason WHY.
Gaila's eyes darted, "Uhm. Nevermind."
"Relative’s....a production...assistant...she gets free Girls Gone Wild, forever." Scotty looked at her like maybe that would cover it? Then Scotty helped by holding both arms up over his head and saying "yaaaaaaaaaay" for as long as he had breath to do that.
Kirk suddenly knew why Gaila looked so familiar. By some miracle he kept both silent, and a straight look on his face.
Well it's pretty obvious that Scotty knows! Something, at least!
It wasn't Gaila's fault she'd been in New Orleans at Mardi Gras and staying with a smooth talking man with the sexiest accent, ever.
Gaila shook her head, "ANYWAY. Maybe sometime."
"Yaaaay, maybe sometime." Scotty smiled like that was great, what a treat, awesome times! Maybe everyone will forget it!
"I'd love to see those videos sometime, but I think Scotty would kill me." Kirk had another cup of coffee, "Alright, I'm gonna head out."
Forget it and not be staring at his girlfriend's knockers! Yay! Scotty dropped his arms down because Kirk pretty much shattered that hope and dream. He just waved at Jim with one hand.
"Aye, well, I suppose I'll get packed for the weekend, then."He's bringing tools. Because they make him feel safer.
Kirk slapped McCoy on the back, and then skedaddled out! By sliding down the railing.
"I hope they find our bodies and notify our next of kin," Scotty said under his breath, with one hand planted firmly over his face.
"Jim! For Fuck's sake, be careful!" McCoy called down after him, even though it wasn't doing that much good just now. "That's not a..." Sigh. And then he turned to Scotty. "Well, What's the worst that can really happen?"
"I hope they find our bodies and notify our next of kin," repeated Scotty, dryly.
"Don't worry." McCoy assured him easily. "I'll bring along toe tags, just in case."
"Oh? Well, that's brilliant then. I feel sae much better."
"Don't worry!" Kirk shouted up the stairs, "I've only ever had to wrestle a bear once!" And then he was gone.
A long pause, and then Scotty told both McCoy and Gaila, "We're fuckered."
Gaila giggled, "Maybe you are. And Bones here." She elbowed McCoy, "The neurotic doctor fancies you."
"Aye, I think she does."
"Do you really?" and he looked, well, really pleased at that. Almost too pleased really. "That's a good sign, right?"
"I suppose. She seems nice enough," Scotty was saying while looking unsure. "Flighty though." Then he proceeded to do the whole cuckoo clock twirly fingers waggy hands flippy flappy gestures like she could be a wee bit...? "She's a wee bit squirrely."
"Duh? Now I don't know how it works with...the British..." Gaila chewed her lip. "If she's a fast mover or a slow mover,but she did try to..help me with Scotty?"
He was making a bird with both hands, and all he was missing was a flashlight, and the finger wings are flapping. But he blinked and looked back at Gaila, and stopped wing-flapping before he got smacked.
She smacked him anyway.
"Ouch! What'd I dew?" He rubbed at his shoulder and glared at her.
She gave him a grin.
"Ill tempered lass. Ye couldae left a bruise." Like he bruises that easy? As if. "Any waaaays, McCoy, if ye fancy the lass, might not hurt tae see if anything's there. She's probably goin' tae move slow as sludge, but...ye can always gae over tae Sulu's an' order more pornos tae tide ye over."
Scotty? Is helpful.
Gaila might be in love.
"Slow, I don't mind." McCoy assured him, glad that he was being so helpful actually. "Slow can be good when it's worth it and I'm thinking she is."
If Scotty were psychic, he'd have to ask if it was the porn she was in love with, maybe, or something or someone else. But he'd only get smacked again. Otherwise, he's nodding at McCoy like he agrees, totally, 110%.
"Ee, have fun picking out curtains!" Gaila hugged him!
Scotty was shaking his head like NO no no no and waving both hands around, because that? Right there? TRAUMATIZING.
"Run while ye can," he warned McCoy. "An' good luck with the lass, if ye decide tae...I dunnae know...pursue the whole thing, if ye want."
"Why thank you.," McCoy told Scotty with a nod. "I do intend to do my best."
"Ye dunnae have tae worry that much. Ye seem like a good lad, after all." There was a huge grin on Scotty's face and he patted one hand on McCoy's shoulder a couple of times. Not as rough as Kirk, but more a mere pat pat, good lad, ye poor bastard goin' tae be picking out curtains. "If she wears that scarf though, she's probably good at picking out things tae cover windows with. Bonus points!"
Scotty. Still helpful.
"I'll keep that in mind. Let the woman do all the work when picking out things for the house." McCoy said sagely. "Then you only have to worry about doing your part to keep them clean and helping take care of the bills."
Except when the woman expected 100% cooperation.
"I clean up me own messes," Scotty said, like it was insulting to think of anything else, otherwise. He didn't leave clothing bombs all over the place. Sure, might be some dust here and there, but he got to it, eventually.
Gaila? Had clothing bombs.
"Of course you do." McCoy agreed. "That's cause you know the secret."
It drove Scotty nuts just the one night he spent in her room. "There's a secret?"
Gaila almost asked the same question.
"Ways to keep the woman you love happy." McCoy nodded. "I'll send you a copy once I write it."
"Oh, that'd be brilliant. Aye! I'll take a copy." That done, he stopped looking so blank faced at McCoy. He even gave the other man a big thumb's up!
"The problem," Gaila said. "Is the secret changes by the week." She grinned.
"Ye just have tae ruin it, dunnae ye." Scotty looked like his home had just been invaded by unexpected guests, and they did not bring sandwich offerings.
She laughed.
"Any~hoo!" Scotty was saying, to McCoy. "If ye want tae talk about that life support stuff, just let me know, or we can discuss it this weekend. If ye want tae."
"Weekend sounds like a good time for me." McCoy agreed. "I'll bring along what I've found, run some ideas by you. Meantime, I should see about calling that number." Hopefully he was on the way.
Gaila smiled after McCoy left, then took Scotty's hand, "Now where were we?"