Literally Pirateninja (shadowcat) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-06-04 16:27:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, kitty pryde (shadowcat), xi'an coy manh (karma) |
"I'll be here"
Who: Kitty and Xi'an
What: Nightmares and comforting
When: Early this morning, day after Kitty ran into Wisdom at the Green Maid
Where: Their apartment
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13 to R
Trigger: sexual assault
She was on a small boat. There were too many people--it was dangerously overcrowded. Her parents were there, and so were the twins; Tran was alread in the United States. Xi'an felt so tired. She'd overtaxed her powers to get them safely to the boat, and now she was sick. And there was nothing to eat on the boat, not really.
Suddenly, the boat was surrounded. Pirates swarmed over the sides! Xi'an hid the twins, telling them not to make any noise, no matter what happened.
The pirates killed all of the men. She saw one slit her father's throat. But the atrocities did not end there. She could hear the screams of the other women and saw one of the pirates grab her mother. She screamed, only to have a large hand clamped over her her mouth. The pirate pawed at her clothes and shoved her to the deck...
Xi'an awoke with a terrified shriek, but quickly clamped her hands over her mouth. She curled into a fetal position as uncontrollabel sobs began to wrack her body. That wasn't right. That never happened. But it...it felt so real. All of it felt too, too real.
Kitty was dreaming about Pete Wisdom. Of course she was dreaming about him, he'd waltzed into town and she hated him for it. And hated herself a bit, for what she'd done to him.
So of course she'd dream about breaking up with him.
You said you loved me. She remembered how difficult love was for him.
I thought I did. She watched him walk to the docks on Muir Island.
A shriek jolted her awake. She pushed the dream to the back of her mind and bolted into Xi'an's room, straight through the wall. Kitty was tense, but there was no one else in the room, except her girlfriend sobbing in the bed. She put that she'd had another repeat of her powers to the back of her mind.
She crawled into the bed and pulled the woman into her arms, rubbing her back as her heart thundered in her chest. She rocked back and forth, ignoring a lump in her throat.
Xi'an tensed up for a moment at the first touch before she realized it was Kitty. It was Kitty. Kitty was real. Kitty was there, and there was no horrible boat where horrible things happened. It wasn't real. It wasn't real, even if it felt like she just lived through it.
She buried her face against Kitty's neck and clung to her, half afraid to let go. She was so, so glad that the twins were sleeping at friends' houses tonight. She couldn't have explained this to them. She didn't want to have to try. Because 'just a bad dream' didn't begin to cover it.
"Xi'an..." Kitty tried to keep her voice soothing, stroking at her hair and continuing to rock her. She made comforting noises, not sure what had happened. Just that it was bad. Xi'an's tears practically burned against her skin, "It's just a dream. That's all, just a bad dream. You're okay, you're safe."
Xi'an took several deep, shaky breath and, gradually, the sobs began to subside. Why would she dream about something like that? Something so...unspeakable? She shuddered at the thought.
"Stay with me, please? For the rest of the night?" Xi'an needed an anchor to the real world, she felt. At Kitty was the best for that. "I...if I dream it again...I want you here when I wake up."
"I'll be here," Kitty promised. She wiped at Xi'an's face with her thumb, then kissed her forehead. She didn't ask what Xi'an had dreamed about - it was too soon and fresh to bring it up, she thought. She could be her anchor.
"Like a security blanket."
That got a short laugh from Xi'an. "Thank you. I don't know if I'll manage to go back to sleep, but just having you here will be good."
Nodding her head, Kitty shifted into a more comfortable position, practically pulling Xi'an into her lap, "I've got you.." She squeezed, maybe a little too hard. She thought it must have been too much to wish for non-shitty dreams, as she blinked tears out of her own eyes.
Xi'an just clung tighter. Eventually, her breathing steadied and she drifted off to sleep in Kitty's arms.
"I love you," Kitty whispered in her ear, once she was sure the other woman was asleep. "Not going anywhere..."