draco_thegreat (draco_thegreat) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-08-09 21:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, draco malfoy, zuko |
Who: Zuko + Draco Malfoy
What: Body Swap plot
When: 8/4
Where: Their place
Rating: Lowish
Status: Complete
“Maybe this is payback for being such a jerk in my dreams?” Draco mused out loud as he sat on the sofa with his husband who was residing in his sister's body. It sounded like some sort of farcical comedy sketch but sadly it was just one in a long line of strange incidents they’d experienced.
It was awful. Seriously. If anyone thought that Pansy could look grumpy, they would have been surprised by just how much more effectively Zuko was managing it in her body.
Everything was weird. And felt funny and god he was afraid to do anything more than just sit there because really this was just bad. He wasn’t going to admit it, but he was scared shitless by the idea of having to go take a piss. This was his sister in law’s body, for fucks’ sake.
“This is awful,” Zuko was scowling. A lot.
Draco nodded, “I know” he replied, “Beyond awful. I mean of all people for you to get stuck in” He sighed, because of course it would be Pansy the world would find that fucking hilarious.
He lent his head back against the sofa, it was giving him a headache just thinking about it. I mean they were sat here which was weird enough but what about later when they needed to eat or go out or jesus christ they had to sleep yet. There was no way Draco was snuggling with his sister’s body, no he was in for a sleepless nights until this was all sorted. Sooner rather than later was the hope.
Zuko had just sort of assumed he’d stay planted on this couch until it was all over. What else could he do? He glanced at Draco, expression evening out to a blank not-quite scowl. “This is awful.” Was all he could think to repeat, and then flopped over on the couch away from Draco, which really fucking sucked, but he wasn’t going to lay on his husbands’ lap when he was technically his husbands’ sister.
“Fuck. Seriously. I’m sorry. We were just watching cartoons, and then...”
It was a good thought but it wasn’t particularly practical to live on the couch. Draco felt another pang in his chest when Zuko flopped down away from him, god this sucked.
“It’s not your fault babe” Draco said automatically, ignoring how weird it was to say the term of endearment when it was aimed at his sister’s body. “It’s just the world fucking with us, yet again”
"No one died this time, or ended up limbless?" Zuko wasn't exactly great at finding silver linings, but he was trying. "And I'm not possessed." He was just a woman. A woman his husband was related to.
God, this had better end soon, because he was fairly certain his body would go into shock and withdrawal without sex after too long a time.
"I'm fairly sure this city is trying to fuck with us. Personally. Everyone else is just vague consequence."
“That’s true. I guess it’s not as bad as it could be” Though really it was still pretty bad.
Draco would definitely go into withdrawal, they had an extremely good and healthy sex life and even without the lovemaking he liked simply holding Zuko, something which was now denied him.
“You know I think you have a point” he nodded, “Maybe I should use magic to set up some wards against anything like this. Not sure how exactly but there must be a way”
“Seems almost pointless. It doesn’t seem to matter where we are, you know?” Absently, Zuko checked out his nails and made it a point to tell Pansy she should probably get them done professionally more often.
“Unless you can build wards right into a person. Oddly specific ‘don’t let my husband be my sister’ wards?”
“Protection wards might work” Draco mused, “To stop anything harming or changing you. I’ll speak to Hermione about it, I’m sure she’ll want to do the same what with her own husband being inside a random blonde woman” he commented.
Zuko gave a sniff at that, as if finding the idea distasteful. “You know. Maybe we’re lucky. I think I’d get a bit of a complex if I was still in a body you’d be willing to sleep with.” He was only sort of teasing. At least Pansy was just an easy hands off.
But not really, even he didn’t want to do anything other than sit there. Fuck.
Draco looked at Zuko, “We’re lucky that it’s Pans and not a stranger maybe but you’re the only one I’m willing to sleep with, in any situation”
“Well, it’d still be me.” Zuko pointed out, as if that weren’t obvious. “I mean. I could just be a better looking me? Some hot guy without a scar or-- you know. Something.”
Draco shook his head, "You think that would honestly make a difference to me?" he asked, "I love you. Mind, body and soul. My incredibly hot husband with a scar, which just reminds me what an incredible person he is and how lucky I am that he loves me too"
Zuko’s smile was a shy twist of the lips, and it was probably a pretty weird look for Pansy’s face. “Well, that’s -- I mean. Thanks.” A pause. “Fucking goddamnit, I can’t kiss you.”
"Yeah I know, this shit better get fixed soon" Draco was painfully aware that he was a very tactile person, particularly with his husband and he wouldn't be able to show affection until Zuko was back in his own body. "Save it up until you're back okay?"
“The hell else was I going to do?” Zuko made a face, but then sighed again. There was no use taking it out on Draco, after all. “Well. Just wanna... get drunk, or something?” He could use a beer.
Oh. That was weird. He didn’t even like beer.
Draco would let Zuko take it out on him if it helped. He did have it worse after all, being the one stuck in Pansy. "Sure" Draco agreed standing to fetch the drinks, "if you want to" It wasn't like Pansy's body couldn't handle it after all. She could drink anybody under the table.
Which was going to be a strange experience all on its’ own for Zuko, who had two or three drinks and suddenly thought everything in the world was very funny, and that sex was a great idea (until he passed out in the middle of it). “I kind of do. I think Pansy’s liver is angry that I haven’t fed it in a while.” She might need to look into that.
Draco laughed as he went to the kitchen, “I’m sure you’re right. She drinks beer like water” he joked, retrieving a couple of bottles before coming back and handing one to Zuko.
Zuko took it, and gave a sniff of distaste. “I don’t know how she drinks these,” he admitted, but sipped at it and seemed to like it anyway. This really didn’t make sense, and Zuko was mostly mad that a situation like this might generally be fascinating to observe -- if he didn’t have to live it.
“So...” he hedged, feeling a little silly -- silly enough to look down at his beer bottle, and draw little shapes in the condensation there. “Should I sleep on the couch tonight?”
It probably would be fascinating for those not involved but for those that were it was mostly frustrating and annoying.
“I don’t think so” Draco said, “unless you want to. I mean we’re adults we can handle it” It would be strange to sleep next to Pansy even if it was Zuko inside but it would be stranger to sleep alone.
“Just making sure,” Zuko could think of it like... camping. Or. Something. Sleeping close but not cuddling. Because... of reasons. “It’s fine. It’ll be fine.” It sounded like a mantra he needed to repeat to believe it himself.
"It will. We'll be fine" Draco said, more confidently than he actually felt. They could do it, they'd have to. He knew neither of them would sleep well without the other. They just couldn't snuggle. That wouldn't be as hard. Right?
Right.
Until they woke up in the morning, totally in each others’ arms anyway. And then there’d be a freak out to worry over. And the frantic promises to never tell Pansy what they’d done. Dear god, never, ever tell Pansy.
“You’re right,” Zuko said, instead of all that.
“Okay so we’re sorted” Draco said, also knowing all of that. But if they just didn’t say it out loud they’d be fine. At least that was his view and he was sticking to it.
No worries there, Zuko was raised on healthy doses of ignoring issues until they were, you know, burning you in the face. Or whatever.
Not that that was anything like this. The Japanese boy who was no longer Japanese or a boy, drank more of his beer. “Fuck,” he sighed again. No getting past it, it was all pretty rough, buddy.
“Yeah” Draco said drinking his own beer. Sometimes life simply sucked and not even his more optimistic view on things could see a way of turning this situation into anything other than complete rubbish.
“Well.” Zuko said, finishing off one beer, and annoyed it hadn’t done much to make him feel better. “Maybe we should just watch a movie.” Distractions were awesome.
“Something light might be good” Draco suggested moving to the player and selection of movies they had, “Or action maybe?”
Zuko waved a hand in vague acceptance of whatever. Draco was always better at picking movies to suit the mood, so he’d just let him now. “Just no Bruce Willis. I can’t handle that guy tonight.”
“No problem, Bruce is easily avoided” Draco assured him and ended up sticking in Beverly Hills Cop. It was funny, had pretty decent action scenes and no Bruce Willis.
It’d do. Zuko sat back, lounging lazily and sticking his feet up on the coffee table. Pointedly, he ignored the fact that they were not his own feet. It was easier with a movie to watch.