Hermione Granger studies harder than you. (her_my_nee) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-08-07 23:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, hermione granger, zuko |
I’m my sister in law.
Who: Zuko (as Pansy) + Hermione (...as herself)
What: Coffee Date
When: That time of the month
Where: The usual
Rating: Low/No triggers
Status: Complete
Hermione couldn’t believe that she was sitting across the booth from Zuko. Well, s/he had the same mannerisms, sure. But it was Pansy Parkinson there. Looking just as smug and pug-faced as at school. Only slightly less... preppy. Slightly less fawning over Draco. (Because here they were siblings. Gross.)
She had her sweet coffee drink (she’d purchased both for when Zuko got there, and passed the second over to hi--her? him... when he arrived. Now she was sipping in silence, staring.
“Wow, must be weird.”
“I’m my sister in law,” Zuko (Pansy) was doing wonderfully at scowling, and hunching over in his chair as if in hopes that he might possibly be able to disappear into it. Or in general.
He was dressed like Zuko normally did -- but the t-shirt and jeans were ill fitting on Pansy’s body, despite the fact that Zuko was naturally very slender himself. He hadn’t known how to deal with hair as long as Pansy’s and had pulled it back into a pony tail that was both wild and slightly crooked.
“It’s definitely not the best.”
“No, I can see that.” Hermione said, giving Zuko an expression that was trying desperately not to be a smirk. She was failing.
“I can loan you some clothes,” she added. “I mean, if Pansy’s not letting you into her closet.” Pansy was a good deal more filled out than Zuko was. “...er, I can help you with other things, too, if you need.”
Zuko covered his face with his hands (Pansy’s face, Pansy’s hands) and sighed. “She’d probably let me. But it’s -- uh. Awkward.” Which part of it? Every part of it. “Er... what things?” He sipped at his sugary drink, and found himself extra annoyed because it didn’t taste as good on Pansy’s tastebuds as it might have on his own. Or maybe he was just imagining that.
“Oh, you know. Hair and make-up tips.” Hermione was mostly teasing. Because come on. This was funny. To her, anyway. She kinda got a kick out of the Draco and the Pansy from her dreams going through a bit of a rough time. It was evil of her, sure. She knew that this Draco and this Pansy were nothing like their dream counterparts, but still.
“I’m sorry. I meant... well... girly advice. Pansy’s not... on that time of the month, is she?” OH GOD. How mortifying would that be??
Zuko looked utterly horrified by that very idea as well -- eyes going wide, and losing any color there had been to his face in the first place. “Oh-- god. No. No.” He would literally cry if he had to go through that.
“I wonder how long this strange, Orange County experiment is going to last.” Hermione said, hoping for Zuko’s sake that it didn’t last too long. A few days was one thing. A full month would be something else entirely.
Zuko could only shake his head and sip at his coffee in silent brooding for a moment. He was still annoyed that it wasn’t as good as it should have been, annoyed that he was a woman, and extra annoyed that he was a woman he couldn’t snuggle up to his husband with. Because gross. “This sucks.”
Hermione frowned a little watching the scowl on Pansy’s face. Zuko’s face. Whoever it was. “I’m sorry. Hopefully you’ll be back to normal before you know it, and this’ll just be an awkward blotch in history.”
“One could hope.” Zuko sighed, and then set his coffee aside, it just wasn’t doing it for him. “Alright. I guess I do need some help with clothes. So.”
“That’s okay. I can help.” Hermione said, giving him a hopeful smile. “...so I got drunk and almost kissed a friend of mine.” She confessed, turning her attention to the coffee on the table in front of her. “...and my husband is a woman now, and... it’s a little confusing for me.”
Zuko stood, gesturing for Hermione to follow. He was tired of the way his clothes were hanging on this stupid body. They could talk as they walked. “Oh?” He asked, carefully. “Why?”
Hermione climbed up out of her chair and followed after him, bringing her coffee along with her. Though, now she’d lost the taste for it. “...because the friend of mine was also a girl. A soft and pretty one.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t think I swing that way, really, I just... I think it’s weird that I’ve had two homo-erotic experiences in a matter of a couple of weeks, and... isn’t that just... weird?” She followed him out of the shop, tossing her cup into a trash on the way.
“It isn’t that weird,” Zuko said, sparing her a glance, and getting a little embarrassed when Pansy’s hair swished over his...her.. shoulders as he moved. “I mean. You must have read about the Kinsey scale, right? It’s rare anyone is completely straight. But that doesn’t mean people always act on it. And I hardly think your husband in a different body really counts as homoerotic. When it comes down to it, it’s still your husband. Who is a man.”
“A man with woman parts.” Hermione said, blushing. “Yes, I know. And I never really assumed that I was completely straight. I just never thought I’d have two experiences in such a short amount of time. Though, I should have suspected. I felt an attraction toward Kitty the first time I met her.” She said, then shrugged. “Twenty years of nothing, and all of a sudden I want to kiss two women.” Only, she wanted one more. Obviously. He was her husband.
Zuko wasn’t really sure who Kitty was, but that didn’t seem to make a difference to him. He shrugged, stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Sexuality is fluid, I guess. I like women and men both, too, so I guess I understand.”
“I guess the old saying is right. When it rains, it pours.” ...Hermione actually cringed a bit. Had she really just said I guess the old saying is right?? Maybe she was turning more into the girl from her Dreams than she suspected.
“Anyway, let’s go get you some clothes that actually fit right.” She added, turning to walk with him to the mall.