Who: Hermione Granger and Jim Kirk When: During the Body Swap Where: Their place What: Surprise, I’m a woman? Rating/Warning: Low, ends before the smut/None Status: Complete
Jim snuck into their home, rubbing at his (her?) face, and quietly putting his keys into a tray next to the door. He still wobbled a bit when he walked, and had absolutely no idea what he was going to tell his wife. Hi honey, I’m a hot blonde now. Surprise?
Hermione was in the bedroom. She’d given up on the church idea, though sometimes she still thought she should be going. And it made her feel guilty. She was at her computer, playing some MMORPG or another. Perhaps she was playing with Garcia on the other end of the internets? Either way, that’s where she was. At her computer.
Darting his eyes, Jim snuck into the kitchen to get a drink, then leaned against the counter while considering his options. He was in a smart and sexy dress skirt (with more knives than should be necessary hidden within), and Hermione had no idea what was coming. So he texted her.
>> Don’t panic
Hermione’s phone buzzed, and she reached over to pick it up off the desk. A little smirk broke across her features.
>> Thank you, Zaphod Beeblebrox. >> Or Ford Prefect. >> Or Arthur Dent.
He muffled a snerk.
>> Try Trillian.
Hermione cocked her head to the side. She hadn’t checked Valarnet yet, she didn’t know what was happening.
>> What does that mean?
Jim sighed, deciding it was time to face the music.
>> The OC is at it again. >> I’m in the kitchen >> I might not look the same.
At those words, Hermione closed down the game and clicked open Valarnet. Of course, it might have been a little rude to open a website instead of running into the kitchen to see her husband, but a quick scan was all she needed to know that people were in the wrong bodies.
>> Oh, dear. I’m coming.
She sent the text, then climbed from her seat and slowly walked from the room into the hallway.
“Hey,” A too high pitched and feminine voice came from the kitchen. “So... Hey.”
“Hey?” Hermione said, tentatively, as she rounded the corner. She blinked at the beautiful woman standing in the kitchen. “...Jim?”
“The one and only, Captain James T Kirk of the USS Enterprise! Surprise?” Jim smiled sheepishly. “I always knew I’d look good in heels.”
Hermione wasn’t sure how to respond, really. She gaped at him/her for a moment, then took a couple steps forward. “You’re... this isn’t your body?” She asked, wondering if someone was playing a prank. It was a sick joke if they were. (It’d also be a really really good one to get so many people on valarnet to go in on it. But she wouldn’t put it past Fred and George.)
“No, it’s not my body. Her name is Belladonna. I ran into her when I was getting coffee, and the next thing we knew, transporter malfunction. Or something.” He shrugged, and took another sip of water.
“Oh. So... she’s got your body? She’s wandering around in a Jim suit?” ...that made Hermione feel rather jealous, to be honest. She didn’t want her husband’s body off doing God Knows What.
“I think I can trust her to not go too crazy. I suppose if my body is going to have one last hurrah does it count if I’m in it?”
“So long as she doesn’t catch any viruses or anything.” Hermione said, frowning a bit. She stepped forward. “...It’s really you in there, is it?” She thought she could see something--some familiarity--behind his/her eyes.
“Go ahead,” he said softly. “Ask me anything?”
“Who was my maid of honor at our wedding?” She asked. Trick question, really. She didn’t have one. But if someone was trying to impersonate Jim, they might not know that one. Unless they’d done their homework...
“No one, we got married in Vegas after beaming down from the Enterprise to spend New Years there,” He replied, without missing a beat.
Hermione took another step forward. “...it is you.” She said, then stepped forward again and wrapped her arms around him. Her. Him. That was weird. But not completely weird.
He hugged his arms around Hermione, a little relieved. He supposed she’d seen plenty of weird, crazy things in her life. This was just another one. And really, he’d taken it pretty well.
Hermione just kept thinking, if it was her in someone else’s body, she’d want all the support she could get. “So... you’ve got permission to do... whatever you want in this body?” She asked, lifting a hand to run it over the hair on the back of Jim’s new head.
“Pretty much,” Jim’s voice caught as he spoke. Hermione’s hands were wonderful thing and Belladonna’s body was not repulsed in the slightest. It was pretty responsive.
Hermione took a breath. “Then we should go get you out of those clothes and into something more comfortable.” She would have needed it, if it was her. She would have needed the comfort. So she took hold of both of Jim’s hands, and tugged him with her toward the bedroom.
Jim got a huge grin on his (her?) face. “This ought to be a learning experience.”
“I just hope I don’t disappoint you.” Hermione had never done anything like this before. She shouldn’t have a problem, really, since she knew how it all worked in theory. Her cheeks went pink. “Besides, Kitty was right. Women are soft. I’d like to experience it first hand.”
“Guess we can both experience it first hand,” Jim noted. He got to be his wife’s first time with a woman. Who could beat that?