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Pamela Swynford de Beaufort (walmrtsweatsuit) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-08-04 14:04:00

Who: Pam Swynford de Beaufort & Maia Amell
What: Making up
When: Evening of 8/3
Where: Pam's place
Rating/Warnings: R for fade-to-black smut and vampirism
Status: Complete



After Maia stopped responding, Pam started to feel sick. She’d run up and unlocked the door - three seconds of sun wouldn’t kill her - but now she was feeling it. She was lying down in her basement, which she’d fixed up a little, pulling out some couches and chairs so at least she’d have a fucking place to sleep if she got tired during the day. Her laptop worked, but there were no new messages. Would she even show up?

Maia stared at the door like she thought it might turn into a Pride demon and attack her. Or would this be a lust demon? So much of her interactions with Pam were lustful that she wondered if that’s all it was. She didn’t mind lust.

She wanted more. She didn’t know if Pam wanted more, but she wasn’t going to abandon the blonde over something as simple as a little blood sucking.

She was more worried the taint would make her taste terrible, than Pam killing her.

She wrapped on the door with her staff, then entered. “Pam?”

“Down here.” Fuck, her heart was in her throat already. She’d gotten past the little bit of sun poisoning, and was now pacing back and forth. She didn’t sound angry anymore, but who the fuck knew how this was supposed to go. Pam wasn’t good at dating people or relationships or whatever this was. She just liked Maia and wanted her to be safe and she wasn’t sure if this would work out.

Maia swallowed. She wasn’t afraid, but she was nervous, and upset. A little angry, though at who was up in the air. She came down the stairs, casting a light spell because she didn’t know if Pam had a light down there.

She really hoped that didn’t count as ‘sun’.

It didn’t seem to; Pam felt some of it hit her arm and she didn’t react. “Maia?” Her voice was quiet and frail, and she coughed. “Back here, Maia.” She looked up at the light source, not sure what to do.

She stepped off the stairs, moving the staff so the light was no longer blocking her face or potentially blinding her lover. “Hey. You should install a lamp in here.” She stopped a few feet away. “How bad is it? If you get sunned on?”

“I can see in the dark.” But for Maia or anyone who came over, she probably should get a lamp. Pam bit her lip, then cursed as her fang sliced in. “Shit. Um. Sun hurts. I ran up to unlock the door and had to lie down for like fifteen minutes.”

“Sorry. I probably could have gotten in anyhow.” She took some steps forward, looking over Pam as she got closer. She couldn’t tell if she was paler, or if it was just the light from her spell. “I was..it hurt, Pam. I didn’t know if I’d done something, or if you were hurt..”

“I told you it wasn’t you. It’s not my fault if you misunderstood.” Pam’s first response was defensive, but she shook her head. “Sorry. I just ... I ran scared. I’m not a fucking murderer, Maia. I don’t want to be.”

“There’s a difference between murder and survival.” Maia reached for Pam’s arm. “I’m sure there are things I haven’t told you about that other me that might make you want to never speak to me again. But I don’t want to run away from you. Or let you run away from me.”

“I’m sorry.” Pam said again. She was getting a little tired of apologizing, but she’d do it for this woman. “I just got so scared. I mean ... I’m basically a monster. None of that sparkle shit; I’m a vampire who kills people so I can live. I might be kind of a bitch, but I’m not a killer.” She didn’t want to cry; she’d found out she cried fucking blood.

Maia propped her staff up against the wall, and stepped into Pam’s personal space. she brought her hands to the woman’s face. “You’re not a monster. If you’re a monster, then a lot of people are monsters. You’re not a monster. And you don’t have to be a killer.”

“How’m I going to survive without killing?” Pam’s voice wobbled, and she hated herself for it, leaning into Maia’s hand.

“I hope you like pig’s blood,” she said, only half-jokingly. “Not that I’d mind being a wee snack now and again, if you don’t go too crazy.” She winked.

Pam tried to get herself under control; she didn’t like fucking crying. “I did meet a girl who said blood banks work. I just don’t know how I’ll steal from them. And fuck me, what if I get caught?” She looked up at Maia; she wanted to kiss the girl so bad, but she didn’t dare.

“I may not be a thief but I’ll have you know I knew some really good thieves with really nimble fingers.” Pause. “really...really nimble fingers.” And a songbird’s voice. Maia snerked. “We’ll figure something out. Rob a place if we have to.”

She was calmer now, but the important thing was still in front of her. “You’re saying ‘we.’ Are we okay? I’ll keep apologizing if not, because seriously, I can’t have you pissed at me.”

Maia nodded, grabbing Pam’s shoulders. “We. Yes. I want there to be a we, and if that freaks you out, well fuck you, because that’s how I feel!”

Pam blinked, surprised by the gesture more than the words. But she was apparently forgiven, and because she was forgiven, she grabbed Maia and kissed her hard, choosing to bite her own tongue rather than scratch the girl she might possibly be falling for.

Groaning, Maia kissed her back, and tasted blood. It wasn't her own. She broke the kiss and looked at her quizzically, licking her own lips. "...You want a we? I don't want to bloody tie you down."

“I want you.” Pam murmured. “And not just like, for sex.”

She blinked once. Then twice, then abruptly sat down on the floor. She looked up at Pam, a shocked, somewhat scared expression on her face. "I'm pretty terrible at more than shagging."

Pam looked confused, but she sat right on the floor with her. “And I’m pretty terrible at not being a self-absorbed bitch. So fucking what?” She didn’t quite get it. Maia wanted her, but was trying to push her away?

Maia swallowed, then scooted closer. She took Pam's hands and threaded her fingers with the vampire's. "You know. I might be a slut, but I've always wanted....that. This. Being with someone. You. Shite.”

“I don’t know fuck all about relationships or any of that Hallmark crap.” Pam held Maia’s hand tight. “I been in love once in my life, and it just ... ended. Just fucking is easier, but I don’t know, when I woke up with the damn fangs and thought I might kill you I wanted to die.” It was a lot to say, and it hurt, and it felt weird, and she was fairly sure Maia was going to laugh at her, but it was out of her mouth now, and she couldn’t take it back.

"I trust you," Maia said, pulling her collar away from her neck and pushing her hair to the side. She tilted her head. "Maker help me, I trust you."

“No.” Pam shook her head hard. “No fucking way, Maia. Maybe I’ll dream more, and it’ll tell me what I need to know, but until then I’m not fucking biting anyone.” She’d ... She didn’t know what.

"See?" Maia smirked at her. "I trusted you not to bite me. Hell, I'd trust you to bite me. You'd probably spit it out..." She scooted closer to Pam, and then pulled her into her arms. "But you'll need to eat. Somehow. But I'm not going to...abandon you. Over something like this. You aren't a soulless killing machine. Believe me, I've known plenty of those."

“I’ve eaten in the last day or so.” Pam let Maia hug her, sighing and leaning on her shoulder. “If I was starving, you’d be in trouble.” She’d be able to breathe a little easier if she had a connection at the blood bank or something. “You want to hear that I wanted to protect you because I care? I wanted to protect you because I care.”

“Pam...” Maia leaned against the other woman. “You silly goose....You really do...? I’ve been fretting and getting my stomach all twisted up just worried about if you even felt the same way. We said we wouldn’t have strings. None. Just...shags.”

“I know, dammit, why do you think I didn’t want to tell you?” She was torn between being amused and pissed off at herself. “I thought you’d tell me that and laugh.”

"I'm not laughing, baby..." She rested her cheek on Pam's shoulder. "I...feel for you. It hurt so much that you'd just leave like that and...just realizing that made it hurt more."

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Pam was so tired. “I was just scared. I don’t want you to be in danger.”

Maia wet her lips, tongue sticking out between them for a bit as she thought about it. “I can deal with your job. I know you don’t actually shag anyone. But I don’t think I can deal with you being with another woman.” She rubbed the back of her neck, then her shoulder. “Andraste’s tits, I was guilty just with Dani.”

“Who’s Dani?” Pam tried to sound as judgment-free as she possibly could. They hadn’t been together, after all. It wasn’t cheating. “And who’s Andraste?”

“Dani Moonstar. Cherokee I think. Or Cheyenne. One of the ‘c’ ones. Really bloody fantastic, to be honest.” Maia wouldn’t mind having both of them at once, some time, if she was completely honest. “Andraste is kind of like Jesus. The wife of God, who led the uprising against the Imperium. Kind of a warrior goddess figure, but she really did exist.”

Pam nodded. “So Andraste is from your dreams, and Dani’s some ex-fuck?” She looked up at Maia. “I don’t fuck my clients, no. I might peg them, but that’s not body contact. And honestly, guys gross me out.”

“Everyone has flaws,” she joked, brushing aside some of Pam’s hair and playing with a curl. “Dani’s a very recent ex-fuck. I think I want to set her up with someone in apology. Because, really, someone needs to be tapping that.”

Pam managed a smile. “Just, I have to say it; if I don’t get any pussy on the side, neither do you.”

“How about sharing?” she asked, innocently.

Her first impulse was to make a face. But she had to admit, never say never. “We’ll discuss it first.” Pam nuzzled in, starting to press light kisses around Maia’s collarbone. “I’m bad at sharing sometimes.”

“Mm...well if you don’t want it...ooh..” Maia’s eyes fluttered closed, and she tilted her head back to expose more of her throat. “Mm...all yours.”

She didn’t say no, if only because they might actually find a woman who was that hot. But for now, Pam concentrated on remembering Maia. She kissed instead of bit, just to be careful, but Maia was here and apparently not leaving, and they had catching up to do. “If it’s safe,” Pam murmured in between kisses.

“Safe...” Maia promised, fingers tightening in Pam’s hair. “Just me and you, and Maker I’m...very fond of you. You should meet my mother.”

“God, already?” But Pam was smiling; hopefully Maia would get she was teasing. “Speaking of safe ...” She kissed up Maia’s chin until she’d caught her mouth again. “If it’s safe, do you want me to bite you?” When or if she found out it was okay. She did wonder if Maia tasted any different than the blood bags.

"Yes." Maia didn't even hesitate. "I'm a kinky girl, haven't you learned that yet? Besides." She kissed her again. "What kind of woman would I be if I said you weren't a monster, and then was afraid of that?"

Damn if that didn’t actually make Pam feel a little better. She nodded slowly. “Then I hope I get to dreaming.” Because the idea of biting Maia was kind of hot.

For now, she rested her hands on Maia’s hips, maybe copping the smallest of feels. “Thanks,” Pam finally said. For forgiving.

"Don't thank me until you've gotten a mouthful," Maia pointed out. "I have that taint, remember? What if I gave you just a sample?"

“I meant for forgiving me.” Pam looked down, but when Maia mentioned a sample, she looked up swiftly again. “I don’t know ... I mean, I guess if you cut yourself it wouldn’t be my doing.” She just hoped Maia didn’t taste so good that she couldn’t control herself.

She nodded, and pulled a knife out of one pocket. She popped it open and made a small incision on her wrist. She held it out. "Here."

It took absolutely every fucking ounce of self control Pam might have ever had not to just grab and start drinking. Instead she took Maia’s hand, licking lightly. She blinked. “It tastes ... I don’t know. There’s a bite to it.” She kept licking until the cut had ceased to bleed, liking the little dizzy feeling that cropped up when she stood up straight again. “I kinda like it.”

Maia felt relieved. “I was so worried the Taint would make me some kind of...well that it would be horrible. You like it?” She’d been so focused on Pam that she’d scarcely noticed what it felt like. Pleasant.

“Yeah.” Pam smiled, surprisingly fragile. “You did too?”

“Didn’t hurt. Felt kind of nice. Always liked getting loves bites there...Even made the sting of the knife hurt less.” She grinned, blushing.

“You are kinky.” Pam teased, kissing Maia once more. She sighed. “I should have just grown a pair. Having you around just makes me feel so much better.” Though at this point she was kind of dying to rip the other woman’s clothes off, she’d be good until Maia let her know it was okay.

“Kinky and you love it,” Maia said, almost saying ‘me’ instead. She exhaled, and closed her eyes. There was a long pregnant pause, before she added, “Why aren’t we naked?”

After another beat, Pam had to laugh. “God, I have no fucking idea; I’ve wanted to rip your clothes off for like a half hour.” She kissed Maia hard enough to draw blood, going to do exactly that.

Maia rolled Pam onto her back, returning the kiss and letting her taste her blood. She worked her hands into and under her shirt. There was a soft growl inside her throat.

Pam sighed, licking that blood off Maia’s lip, fumbling to get Maia’s pants undone and slip a hand inside. It was weird; Maia was a great lay, but at this point, Maia wasn’t just pussy anymore.

The Warden groaned, hands closing in onto Pam’s breasts. She was almost gentle. Okay, she was a whole lot gentle, and it felt like the dynamic was different. It was terrifying.

Pam reached down, sighing, snaking a finger up around Maia’s most sensitive places. “Aw, you did miss me,” she murmured, smirking. Either that or it didn’t take much to get her good and wet.

“So much...so much..” Maia gasped. Oh god, she’d missed Pam.