Obi-Wan is aging surprisingly well (obi1) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-07-15 10:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, obi-wan kenobi, verity |
Who: Obi-Wan and Verity
When: 7/10 The day after this conversation
Where: [Address], a Thai place
What: Thank-You Dinner
Rating/Warning: Low/None (Poor Verity has a crush on every man she meets. I blame the hormones.)
Status: Complete
a wreck</i>. He was fortunate to be alive, let alone in one piece. Why his ship had suddenly dropped like a rock, he was only faintly able to piece together, mostly because the psychic energy that grounded him had also short-circuited his brain. But he’d since heard rumors of the Phoenix, a being that was spoken of in whispers and always meant a pounding headache for the Jedi.
But Faiza had put him back together, healing his cuts and soothing his neurons. He would arrive at the Thai restaurant with a few scattered bruises, but he did indeed arrive. On time, as always.
Verity was sitting at a table near the door, waiting for Obi to join her. She’d been early, a little nervous about meeting with him for dinner, but she did want to thank him. She felt like she needed to thank him properly, to do so when she hadn’t just been attacked by strange, alien zombie things.
She looked up at the sound of the door, and broke into a smile. It was short lived, though, as she saw the bruises and whatnot. A little gasp escaped her, and she sprang to her feet. “Obi! Are you alright?”
There was a rather broad mark on his cheek, one spread across his shoulder and chest that couldn’t be seen, and several scattered across his knuckles. He waved his hand to indicate that she needn’t worry. At the very least, he wasn’t dying just yet. “Minor accident,” he said. “Hazards of the job.”
He did not want to trouble her with the fact that his spaceship had crash landed.
Verity moved around the table, took hold of his arm and helped to guide him into his chair. “Minor accident? You should have phoned. We could have postponed. I’m so sorry that you’re here! You could be home in bed!”
“Then you don’t know me very well,” Obi-Wan replied, taking his seat. The restaurant smelled of curry, which reminded him of Faiza, whose skin was scented with it. “I never cancel on those indebted to me. Especially not when dinner is at stake”
“No, I don’t know you at all, really,” Verity said. She moved around the table and slipped into her own seat, running both hands over her baby bump to smooth out her maternity top as she moved. “But it wouldn’t be canceling if you need a couple of days to recover. We can just reschedule.” She was thankful he was there, though.
Again, he waved his hand, sipping from the glass of ice water that was already waiting for him. “I heal quickly. Don’t worry. How have you been holding up, since...? I do think the hoards are gone for good.”
“I think so, too. I haven’t heard about any of them since... well, it’s been a few days, anyway.” She was glad for it, too. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I had an appointment with the OBGYN, and the baby’s fine.” She added, running her hand over her tummy. “She’s a strong one.”
Obi-Wan smiled across the table. Although he sensed all was well, it was always better to hear it from a doctor. “So you should be due in... three months?” he asked, as a waitress appeared with menus.
“Early November,” Verity said, giving him a smile. “I think my mother is planning on coming to stay with me. Wherever I end up living.” She shrugged. That part was difficult. She didn’t have enough room in her current place, and affording a two bedroom might be tricky--well, Oliver’s support would help, but she’d still be alone. And that was even harder.
He knew it was too personal to outright ask what had become of the father, but Obi-Wan could not deny that he wanted to know. Clearly, he was out of the picture. And that made him upset. His hadn’t stayed long either, just long enough to get him started.
“It must be hard,” he dared to say.
Verity nodded. “It’s hard.” She paused for a moment, trying to figure out what she meant by that. What was hard, exactly? Everything, really, but... well, there were a lot of emotions that bubbled up at those thoughts. And the hormones were making them hard to control. “It’s hard knowing that he’d choose his career over us. It’s hard to imagine being alone for the rest of my life, having to take care of her on my own. It’s hard, the fear that I might inadvertently and illogically resent her for coming between him and me. Not that I think she did, but... It’s hard.” She felt like she was on the verge of tears, suddenly. “All of it is hard.”
Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if what he’d dared to say was very wrong or very right. Verity was clearly burying to a lot of very complex, painful fears and emotions. He'd tapped something like a well. He swallowed to work some moisture back into his mouth. "No, you can't worry about the future like that--" He caught himself, feeling like a hypocrite; since Anakin, he worried constantly about what might come. "Well, it doesn't do any good, I can tell you that.”
“I’m trying.” Verity missed being able to find a hug whenever she needed one. There was always Thor--he was a very good friend. But Oliver’s hugs were different. As hurt as she was, she still loved him. She was trying to find someone, or something, to replace that. Drinking was out of the question--sort of how she’d handled her last great break-up before Oliver--so she’d been burying herself in comfort food. Also probably not good, but better than poisoning herself and her baby. “It’s hard to live in the now when I spend so much time thinking about what’s coming in November.”
“Yes, of course,” he said. “But your mother will help--I hope that’s something you’re looking forward to, although obviously I don’t know your mother. And I doubt you’ll feel alone once the baby arrives. Think of all the wonderful things you’ll get to experience.” First steps, first smiles, the day you realize the baby really does have your eyes. Obi-Wan lifted his glass and took another sip. “I’m a wee bit jealous, actually.”
Verity found it hard to believe that anyone would be jealous of her. She had so much work ahead, so much she was going to have to do alone. But she didn't say as much. She simply smiled. "Well, you're welcome to come over and hold her anytime you want."
He could sense her fears: fears of her youth being over, that she would no longer be desirable, that she plain wasn’t ready. Obi-Wan felt he was looking through a mirror from the opposite side. Because he worried he was too old, that Faiza wasn’t ready, that he wasn’t meant to ever be a father by some cosmological design, as a punishment for Anakin. “I was serious,” he said.
Verity nodded. The brevity she'd put on slowly fading from her features. "So was I." She'd never imagined her life going this way. But now she was on this path, she could never turn back. She was going to need all the help she could get, all the friends who would have her. "I don't really understand anyone being jealous, but you are welcome to come and see us. Any time."
Obi-Wan looked down at his menu, not reading it but running his finger along the plastic rimmed corner, tracing it, sighing. “Well, I never had a dad around. Or a mum, by most standards. But I’d still like to have a go at it, if God allows. Or whathaveyou. I’m sorry, we can talk about something else.”
Verity was quiet for a moment. Then she reached forward to touch his hand. Tentatively. "I'm sure that you'll make an amazing father. If it's meant to be. And you never know. Maybe it won't be your biological child, but I bet you'll still have a chance."
Skin to skin contact, signs of friendship, were always difficult for him. As usual, Obi-Wan allowed it for as long as he could manage, before he politely moved his hand away. He picked up the menu and tried to actually read it now. “I never can predict what’s going to happen next,” he said. “Things really seemed like they were--well, who knows?”
Verity withdrew her hand. It was probably too much. Or too soon. Or both. She already knew what she wanted to have, she’d been thinking about it for days now, so she didn’t bother looking down at the menu in front of her. “Things seemed like they were what?” She asked, lifting her napkin to dab at her eyes. They were still wet from before, and her nose was burning just a little.
He shrugged a bit. “Oh, I don’t know. Just... moving in a particular direction, and then suddenly you’re not entirely sure where your path is leading.”
“Unsure of your path, or...” She wondered if she was being too bold. She’d just gone through something that could fit into his words. “Or unsure of the people you’re travelling it with?”
Behind his menu, Obi-Wan pressed his lips together into a thin line. He was not the sort to talk much about himself to anyone, but apparently something was trying to force its way out. “Both,” he replied, at some length. He placed his menu down on the table again and sighed. “A former girlfriend returned to town and I had a peculiar conversation about it with my current girlfriend.”
Verity gave a little nod. She didn’t want to assume things, didn’t want to try and give advice where it wasn’t asked for. She wished she could help, though, and it was possible that she might be able to give him some kind of insight. “It’s always strange when old flames come back into our lives.” She said, softly. “Did it cause problems with your girl?”
“No, that’s what felt so peculiar about it,” he replied. “She didn’t seem concerned at all... which I’d like to think reflects well on me; and it’s in her nature to be understanding and calm. But then we talked about people we knew from our respective dream worlds. Romantic connections. Is it alright to talk about the dreams? We spoke about the possibility of being reunited with soulmates from another life, and... I couldn’t quite get her to say how she felt about that one way or the other. It left me feeling... unsettled.”
“Understandably so.” Verity paused for a moment. That was one of the dangers of these Dreams, wasn’t it? That the relationships forged there would bleed over into this world, and cause problems with what they’d established in their waking hours. Verity hadn’t really had to deal with it, since Oliver was all over her dreams. She was still dreaming about him, dreaming about them dating, making babies together, getting married... “You both have them, then? Soulmates from another life? And they’re not each other?”
He shook his head, giving another small shrug at the same time. “We have people we loved, people we belonged with there. But our dream worlds couldn’t be more different.”
"...do you think it's likely that either of your significant others will be showing up here?" Verity asked. She didn't really know how common it was for people to find the others they dreamed about. Was her relationship with Oliver a fluke? "If it does happen, would it change things for you?"
“There’s no way to prepare,” he replied, “Except to know that anything is possible. But shouldn’t being in love with someone else, having a life with someone else... how could you let another person come between you, regardless?” Obi-Wan’s heart was loyal, and it was also easily wounded. “It shouldn’t matter if that person is from your dreams or not.”
Verity nodded. She agreed. She was loyal to a fault, really. She would never let anyone come between her and someone she loved, and after being cheated on, after having her own heart broken, she would never be the one to come between a couple. That didn’t stop her from having crushes on every man in her life from the Starbucks Barista to Obi himself, but she would never act on them. Not really.
“I guess... sometimes things change. People change. It’s possible for love to fade. It’s possible for new love to grow. But if two people are really committed, and they want to put in the work to keep their love alive and the most important things in their world... then it shouldn’t matter who shows up. From the dreams or from Milwaukee, doesn’t matter.” ...Random city name was random.
For Obi-Wan, it was the fact that his past wasn’t spotless that he had arrived at this way of thinking. He’d been married once and he’d hurt Emily beyond what could be mended. It still haunted him.
And it wasn’t that he doubted Faiza loved him, but the fact was that he had been her first. Maybe she needed more time before she was ready for marriage, children, and settling down, and maybe that was finally starting to show. Maybe Obi-Wan had been so eager to find love again after Dani had broken his heart, that he hadn’t considered falling for Faiza might have been very selfish.
Obi-Wan did not like maybes.
“I’m sorry to unload all of this on you,” he said.
"It's okay. Really. I'm here to listen." She could have been saved so much worry and hassle if she'd been able to talk out the issues in her life, she may not have made some of the mistakes she’d made. She may have been hurt a little less, a little less often. Maybe. “And if I can do anything to help... please let me know.”
He sighed, his shoulders releasing some of their tension. “I easily forget how helpful it can be to actually talk about something,” Obi-Wan said with a little smile, in spite of himself.
Verity chuckled softly. "I'm good at listening. I might not be the best at giving advice, but I'm pretty good at listening." She leaned back a little in her chair.
The waitress came by at that moment to take their orders. Verity ordered the Pad Thai noodles with tofu. She’d been dying for it for ages. And a sparkling water. She’d love one of those super sweet teas, but there was so much caffeine in there her heart might explode. She definitely didn’t want that to happen.
Obi-Wan ordered an item with two red chili peppers printed next to the name. And one of those teas, for good measure. His heart felt like it needed a kick start.