InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I love you, Castiel."

shane collins (fistsfirst) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2013-07-12 19:00:00

Entry tags:

claire danvers, shane collins

Who: Shane Collins & Claire Danvers
What: Surprise visit from the ex
Where: Stefan & Rebekah's, where Claire is staying
When: Thursday, time TBA
Rating/Warnings: Low/None

It had been months since Shane had seen Claire. He was more than a little nervous about seeing her again. After the things he said, the things he accused her of he wasn't sure if they could work things out. He had been a world class jackass.

After a little prodding and a little convincing from his sister Shane hopped on a plane and made his way to California. She talked him into winning her back despite his protests that he didn't deserve her. That she deserved better than him. She was smart and beautiful and he was a slacker and a jackass. From the beginning it never added up, never made sense. Frank made sure to remind Shane of that anytime the opportunity arose.

Tentatively he reached his hand up and knocked on her door. He wasn't so sure about this plan now. And silently he was cursing Alyssa who was sitting in their hotel room.

Posted via Journaler.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

tinygenius
2013-07-14 07:35 am UTC (link)

There was a part of Claire that wanted to reassure Shane when he had that look on his face. She hated seeing him so down on himself. Claire knew he didn't have the greatest family situation. She knew what a jerk his dad could be. But she also knew Shane was better than all of it. Yeah, he'd messed up when it came to them and maybe that hurt so much because she knew how amazing he could be.

The thing was, though, that Shane needed to know it, too. He couldn't just accuse her of messing around on him every time he was feeling jealous and insecure. If he loved her, he had to trust her. He had to know that she loved him just as much as he loved her.

Everything he was saying was true, but she didn't really know what to say, how to react. "I can't argue with you, because everything you're saying is true," she began. The was a but there, implied in her tone, but Claire trailed off, unsure of where she was going with it. She didn't know how to fix it, whatever it was.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fistsfirst
2013-07-17 02:11 am UTC (link)

Claire might have thought that Shane was better than that but it was never something he was entirely sure of. He spent all of his life believing that he was no good. His father was very good at beating his thoughts into Shane. Both emotionally and physically. And then one day he met Claire who was amazing and smart and beautiful and had a lot more going for her than he did. Eighteen years of listening to your father for that long makes it hard to not believe it.

Shane didn't know what to do from here. He didn't know what to do to fix this, to make it better. He was afraid to even ask if it was something they could even fix. He looked to her after she spoke. "What happens from here?" he asked. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

Unfortunately Shane couldn't guarantee he would never screw up again. It seemed to be in his nature, deep down in his DNA. Maybe they were too different. Maybe she deserved someone who wasn't a screw up.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tinygenius
2013-07-18 12:59 am UTC (link)

The thing was that Claire wasn't sure whether this was something that could be fixed. She knew there wasn't any one thing he could say or do to make it better. Shane hadn't trusted her and that was something that was going to be really hard to get past.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I- Shane, we can't just go back and pick up where we left off."

That would be a mistake, Claire was convinced on that much. It wasn't that she couldn't forgive him or that she didn't love him. She just knew it would never work if they just brushed it away like it had never happened.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fistsfirst
2013-07-21 11:53 pm UTC (link)

"Then where…where do we go from here?" he muttered. The overwhelming feeling of defeat weighed down his shoulders and darkened the light in his eyes.

As far as Shane was concerned it pretty much sounded like it was something that couldn't be fixed. He couldn't blame her of course. He'd been the idiot, the asshole for the umpteenth time. How many times could one person really forgive another for screwing up? Shane figured he finally ran out of chances.

He wasn't saying picking up where they left off would work but he didn't know what would. What was even harder to realize is that even as smart as he knew Claire was, she didn't seem to have an answer this time either.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tinygenius
2013-07-26 07:09 pm UTC (link)

"I don't know." Claire looked down, anywhere but at him. She knew what she said hurt him. It hurt her, too, and she hated that. She hated that there wasn't any easy way to just fix it and move on. She missed Shane so much, but she knew she was right. She knew they couldn't just jump back into thinks like nothing had happened.

"I don't- I'm glad you're here. I missed you, but after. You actually believed I cheated on you, Shane. With Michael. I don't know how we're supposed to come back from that."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2013-08-06 02:58 pm UTC (link)
	He really wasn't sure what he was supposed to do or say now. This was not going at all how he had hoped it would go. Shane had no idea how to fix this and apparently Claire didn't either. Shane sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I missed you, too." He honestly didn't know what else to say. It seemed like Lyss was wrong. "Friends at least?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

tinygenius
2013-08-09 12:40 am UTC (link)

Claire hated this just as much as he did. She hated thinking that what if it couldn't be fixed? What if things were just never the same between them again? It made her heart hurt and she hoped that wasn't the case.

"Of course," she answered him right away, nodding her head for emphasis. "God, Shane, you're one of my best friends. Nothing could change that." Nothing could change the way she felt about him in general, although she didn't want to admit that out loud. Even though she was trying to do the smart thing here, Claire was very much still in love with him.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -