Obi-Wan is aging surprisingly well (obi1) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-07-09 23:01:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, faiza hussain (excalibur), obi-wan kenobi |
Who: Obi-Wan and Faiza
When: Sunday Evening
Where: On the road
What: Obi tries to sort out his concerns, new ones pop up
Rating/Warning: PG, a bit angsty, relationship issues
Status: Complete
Obi-Wan knew he had to come clean about by he was being a dick troubled. He knew he had to tell Faiza, because she deserved to know, and because he loved her. That was not something he questioned in the midst of his confusion. Dammit, the ring he’d purchased was still burning a hole in his proverbial pocket; but he knew he couldn’t give it to Faiza when there was such anger in his heart.
But if anyone could soothe him, it was Faiza. Obi-Wan was just too stubborn to admit when he needed help.
He pulled up to her house and parked. He’d called earlier to see if Faiza was interested in taking a ride. Driving seemed to he the only thing that allowed him to think clearly.
Hopefully Faiza would be receptive to soothing calm. Her own nerves were frayed. She’s spent the past few days healing everyone from children to Shepard, both the old fashioned way and with her powers. She liked to keep working the old fashioned way. It was better long term for the patient, she felt, and if she ever lost her powers she wouldn’t be rusty.
Right now, she’d just gotten out of a relaxing, long bath, and was dressing. She was carrying around her cricket stick as an anti-husk weapon, and she looked at the time. “Bugger, I was in there longer than I thought!”
She rushed around to dress faster, then came out, hair still damp under her scarf, cricket stick slung over her shoulder.
Obi-Wan met her on the front path, too much of a gentleman to wait for her in a parked car. He could see droplets of water still steaming off her freshly washed skin, and that made him smile, as did the cricket stick. “You do know I carry my lightsaber at all times,” he said.
“Well I’d hate to be useless, and nothing beats a good cricket stick.” She waggled it at him.
He placed his hand on her back and kissed her temple. The touch warmed him, enough so that he actually closed his eyes for a moment. All will be well, he promised himself. “Come on. Let’s head out.” He nodded toward the car.
She eyed him quizzically, and then shrugged and walked over to the car. She put the cricket stick in the back, realized she was being daft. She ran back to the house, came out with bloody Excalibur, then got in and buckled up. “Are we going somewhere in particular?”
The engine came back to life as he turned the key. Obi-Wan pulled back onto the street. Honestly, he didn't have a specific destination in mind, other than wanting to get away from the city. "Not really, no. Just a day out. Maybe somewhere less congested." Again, for him, driving was the aim.
“Hopefully without any of those nasty buggers we’ve been dealing with,” Faiza replied chipperly.
“I actually came across a nest of them the other day,” Obi-Wan replied, sounding not quite as chipper.
“I wonder where they come from?” Faiza frowned. They reminded her of vampires, only worse.
“They were chasing after this woman. Pregnant woman,” Obi-Wan continued, taking a turn and pursuing the horizon. “I’m glad I was there.” He didn’t want to go so far as to say the woman was lucky. His ego wasn’t that big. And who knew.
She frowned, then reached over and squeezed Obi-wan’s hand. “I’m glad you were there too. This whole thing is a complete disaster.” And the worst part hadn’t even happened yet!
“I do wish people in the area would stop inviting their dream monsters to visit.” Then again, Obi-Wan had brought a virus over from his world--no no, he’d stopped blaming himself for that. At least, he told himself he had. He pushed the memory out of his mind. “Things keep sneaking up on us... Actually... well, there’s something I wanted to talk with you about. Not related to the monsters, but still.”
“When Dracula or the Skrulls invade you can blame me or Pete. Since the craziness isn’t limited to anyone.” Faiza patted his arm, then stroked it lightly. “And what’s that, love?”
Obi-Wan decided he would blame Pete, but didn’t say so aloud. Humor was his usual defence, but right now he was trying to focus. The matter was difficult to bring up at all, let alone without much warning, but it needed to be done. “By any chance, have you come across a woman named Danielle Moonstar? Either at the ranch or among the mutants elsewhere?”
It was easy to blame Wisdom! But he’d figure out some brilliant plan to deal with the vampires, or something. Faiza? Would happily cut them down - it was one of the few things she was capable of being violent against.
“Yes, I patched her up after she was with Scott’s merry band on a rescue attempt.”
His eyes widened. “Oh.” A pause. “You’ve met her.” It might have been a question, but it was more of a realization. Something new to digest. The truth was that Obi-Wan had been successfully avoiding knowing anything about Dani’s comings and goings since her arrival.
“Well, you see,” he continued. “She and I have a bit of a history. Together.”
"I have. Seemed nice enough." She looked out the window, still rubbing Obi's arm. "I know you knew her." She wanted to let him tell her whatever it was that he wanted to tell her. "But I never really knew how well."
Nice enough, he repeated in his mind, somewhat bitterly. It seemed an apt way to describe her, although he was certain Faiza had not meant any acid in it. Obi-Wan glanced sideways and watched the way she looked out the window, turned away from him. He hoped not intentionally.
“We were friends. The dreams didn’t sit well with here. I sort of moved in to take care of her.” Dani, no doubt, wouldn’t have liked to hear it described that way, even if it was the truth. “And then... she suddenly decided she was done with everything here and left.”
"You loved her," Faiza said, turning to look at him. There was too much hurt in his voice for him not to, at least a little.
Obi-Wan turned a corner silently. Then, he nodded. “I did. But when she left, I wasn’t enough to bring her back. And time passed. And I began to wonder if she ever loved me. Or if it was really love at all. I began to ask a lot of questions, really.”
"A lot of questions, but bugger all answers," Faiza pointed out. She chewed her lip, unsure what it meant for the two of them. She wasn't too familiar with love, but she still worried about what would happen if Dane suddenly showed up at her door.
“Indeed.” Obi-Wan said grimly. They came to a red light and it took the moment to linger there, because there was no one behind them. He scratched his beard.
“And I’m... frustrated now, because I’d thought I’d forgiven her. But I know, in reality, there’s a part of me that wants to... get some satisfaction from expressing this anger I still feel.” He paused and looked at Faiza. “I’m so sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. But if I can’t talk about this with you...”
"Of course you can talk about this with me," Faiza replied. She suspected it was a very complicated subject and she wasn't going to pass judgement on him for being angry, or even Dani for her actions. She tended to avoid casting judgements anyway. There was enough of that in the world as it was.
Mostly, Faiza wanted to understand. "Anger is entirely justifiable, no matter her reasons."
Since no one had driven up behind them, Obi-Wan let the green light pass and moved his hand from the wheel to take Faiza’s. He caressed her knuckles with his thumb and sighed. “But I’m a Jedi,” he said simply. He knew by now she would understand. Anger... wasn’t something he was supposed to justify.
“You’re a Jedi, yes, but you’re also not. You’re allowed to feel emotion. It’s when you let it control you that there’s a problem, and it’s that way …” She took his hand and kissed it. “With good emotion too. Don’t run from it, face it.”
Warmth radiated upward from the skin her lips had touched. Obi-Wan dared to lean across the seats and kiss Faiza’s cheek. “Yes, but the good emotion is so much nicer.” And he did worry that whenever he encountered Dani, he would lose his cool. He worried about the fact that she was apparently in AA. He didn’t want to set her back.
“It is much nicer,” Faiza replied. “I really can’t give you any advice beyond... Well, I can’t say I’m happy she hurt you. But I can’t say that you should forever hate her. At least not without knowing all the reasons. Then I suppose you can give into hate and the dark side and all that all you want.” Her tone was light, but there was worry in her eyes.
Obi-Wan pulled back, sensing the unease building inside her. “Nothing’s changed, Faiza. Nothing’s going to change.”
“Are you sure? How can you be sure?” She shook her head, growing antsy. “What if Dane showed up? What if someone from your dreams showed up? We can’t know, we can’t know until something happens or someone comes and visits or some bloody something happens.”
He gripped her hand tightly. “I asked you the same thing, when Xi’an died, and what did you say? We can’t plan for things to interrupt us.” There was some urgency in his voice. “You and I can only plan for what will make us happy now.”
“What makes us happy now, yes..” She nodded, and breathed a little easier. “Yet we cannot run from our pasts, either.”
Obi-Wan didn't say anything immediately, but he finally pulled away from the stop light, chewing on his bottom lip. “Do you really worry about what you would do if Dane appeared?” he asked, his voice very serious. Quiet, even.
She shook her head. “Not really. Yes. No. I don’t know. It seems like such a remote possibility, that I’ve never really thought about it much. At least until your ex-girlfriend came back.”
Again, a few moments passed before he replied. His blue eyes turned gray as he thought. “But Dani wasn’t from my dreamworld. Dane is from yours. There are women from mine that could appear. Do you think that it’s different, if we’re reunited with someone we were with in another life?”
What he wanted to believe was that it didn’t matter, but instead he felt anxious. It was one thing to meet someone while you were in a relationship, it was something else entirely to be reunited with a long lost soulmate.
“I don’t think that’s something we can really plan for, is it? You can love someone so intensely and yet … did you know I searched for him. Dane? Before we started dating. I couldn’t find the man. Maybe he doesn’t even exist here. I decided I couldn’t just wait around for a man that would never show up.” Faiza lifted her hand to Obi’s face. “Not when there were wonderful men in this world.”
Her touch warmed his cheek, but Obi-Wan couldn’t say he felt the tension ease. He believed her. He believed every word. But Faiza’ also hadn’t quite committed herself to him, should Dane appear. In a way, she had sidestepped the question. He wondered if it was a weakness on his part to want her all to himself. He realized, quietly, that he despised Dane.
“Maybe it’s something we should plan for,” he said.
“That one’s easy,” Faiza replied, seemingly not as concerned as Obi-Wan might be. “We just find some pretty bird to hook him up with, as the yanks say. Really, I’d just want him happy.”
If only it was likely to be so easy. Oh, hello my love from another world. Don’t bother with me. Here’s a friend of mine who will do for you. ...His mind was racing a bit. Obi-Wan took a breath. “But if he was happy with someone else, could you stand it? If it wasn’t you?”
She had to think about it, worrying at her lip with her teeth. “I think so. I suppose it would be harder if I wasn’t happy with you. Right? But I’m happy with you.”
“You think so?” Obi-Wan repeated. His voice was low. He had never questioned that Dani, or Siri, or anyone else could take him away from Faiza. He had only worried about his anger, not his desire.
She looked at him. “I love you. But I couldn’t say I wouldn’t a little jealous. I’m not going to be dishonest. You can very well be happy for someone and a little jealous too.”
He nodded, but it was odd that talking with Faiza was leaving him more anxious than before. It wasn’t that he worried she would leave him, it was the possibility that one day, someone could arrive and tempt her even want it. And that other man would have every right to do so, and so would she.
“I love you, too,” he said. For the first time, it made him feel a little like crying, but he held it back. As always.
She leaned in, kissing him. Soundly and lovingly, gently and emotionally. “I love you. You’re my knight.”
His eyes fluttered and closed for a split second. Good thing they were at another red light, as he turned to meet her lips with his. The warmth at last broke through and engulfed him. He wanted it to linger and burn off all his inbred negativity, but maybe he was just too stubborn to ever let himself he fully at peace. He wasn’t worried so about Dani now, but had there been any real improvement? He wasn’t sure. But he was Faiza’s, for as long as she would have him.