"Honestly? This is easy for me." It always had been simple to push people away. Emma had been mean and snotty from grade school to university. She had moments of kindness, but they were fleeting. Keeping people at a distance was far simpler. "This is what my family taught me. I don't believe in things that last or stay happy." She smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes.
"You were a lucky bolt of lightning." There was a certain ease that Emma had around Jean that she lacked with other people. "It's why I have kept you so close. Why I propose every so often." She grinned then and it was genuine. Then she sighed in a rather large and dramatic way. "If only you were a lesbian, we wouldn't even be having this conversation." She was joking, of course, and she knew Jean would take it that way, too.
"What do I do? Contact him? Go crawling back? Ask him for a relationship? How embarrassing. I don't even believe in relationships." Still, Jean was at least opening the idea of it to Emma and this could be noticed in her shifting tone.