Who: Weasley Twins + James Wilson What: Telling the twins something. When: Wednesday afternoon. Where: Burger joint! Rating: PG-13. Status: Complete!
After taking an entire weekend off, it was basically their duty to work alone for a day or two. Economically it made sense, or something. To not have to keep paying their employees. And give them days off and stuff. Something like that. Whatever.
Still, they owned the shop, and if they wanted to go out for lunch and close the place for a half hour, that was their business (get it? haha). Which was good, since that was exactly what they were doing. They had a little sign on the door with a clock. BE BACK SOON. DEAL WITH IT, it read. They liked that sign.
"Thinking burgers today," Fred said, locking up the front door.
"Could do." George had been thinking the same thing. Crazy, really.
Wilson walked up just as the twins were deciding to get burgers. “I’ll even pay, if you like.” He was wearing dark navy chinos, a white shirt, and a dark red sweatervest. He even looked like a doctor.
God, yeah he did. Sweater vests in near Summer. What a strange man. The twins rose their eyebrows, glanced at each other, and then at Wilson again, making a show of looking behind the man.
“Can’t say no to that.”
“Where’s Percy?” Did it really matter who was saying what?
“Work. Besides, he wanted me to give you the news.” Wilson had on his ‘I’m sorry, you have inoperable cancer’ face - sympathetic and sad.
He might have been planning something mean.
Another glance between the two of them, and then Fred was gesturing with a point of his thumb down the street, where their totally favorite diner was. Wilson could follow with his terrible news if he felt so inclined.
“Did the sale on pre-pressed slacks end?” George looked concerned over this. For Wilson’s sake.
Wilson shot George a wounded look, walking with them. He had his hands in his pockets, and he sighed. “Dry cleaners. I don’t really have time to do laundry, so I let them press them.” He couldn’t help but grin; these guys were too good to prank anyway.
“But really, I’m still paying.”
“And we’re still letting you,” Fred agreed easily. Because lunch was always better when someone else was paying for it.
They slowed a little until they fell into step next to the doctor who dared to date their most boring family member. The twins liked him, honestly, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t give him a hard time. “Really though? No Perce?” As if maybe their brother was just hiding behind a tree somewhere.
“Not today, no.” Wilson grinned as he held open the door to the burger place. He was going to wait until they were settled at a table before dropping a proverbial bomb. “Why, do you want me to call him and see if he can get a lunch break?”
“No.”
“Not really.” He’d be all weird about leaving work or something similarly boring, and the twins didn’t really want to hear about it. Anyway, they were curious about why Wilson was here sans their brother, and it was best not to ruin that sort of thing.
They scooted into a booth they considered their favorite -- the twins on one side, leaving the other side for Wilson.
Wilson moved to sit on the other side, scanning the menu and immediately deciding on a bacon cheeseburger, the least kosher thing he could order. Let the twins sweat out why he was there.
They ordered the exact same thing, but with milkshakes also. Because they weren’t paying, and that’s what you did when someone else offered for secret reasons. Once the waitress had taken their order, left them with tall glasses of water and then took off, the twins both leaned forward a little, elbows on the table and eyebrows raised.
“Oh, I’m going to be your brother-in-law someday.” Wilson said it as if he were commenting on the different milkshake flavors, or the weather. ‘By the way, it’s super sunny out and I proposed to your brother.’
It was almost better than any trick the older man could have come up with. The twins gave a pause that lasted for just a beat too long. It was as if they were trying to decide if Wilson was being serious, or just mucking about with them.
Finally, they both frowned. “Was that -- the only way he’d put out?” Fred just didn’t seem like he was getting it.
“Or did you just think you’re family wasn’t big enough? Have you met us all? Our mother? You’re completely mad.” George was a bit kinder, but not by much.
Wilson blinked. “What? No, we did that on the second date.” Then he realized they probably didn’t want to know about that and went pink. “I haven’t met you all, just you two and Ginny, and your mother can’t be worse than mine. I promise you this.” He bit his lower lip. “Would you believe that I’m in love with him and want to get old with him? Because that’s the only reason.”
Oh, disgusting. The twins were so busy trying to not picture awkward second date sex with Percy that they sat in silence long enough for their milkshakes to be delivered.
“That’s ---”
George blinked, plucked the cherry from the top if his shake and ate it. He couldn’t seem to find words to complete Fred’s thought, and as such, just left him hanging.
Fred scowled (lazy fuck of a brother. god), but went on himself. “Really? Are we still talking about our brother? Percy?” They’d never imagined him the marrying type. Bill or Charlie? Sure. Ron, eventually, if he could trick someone stupid enough? Fine. Percy? Just seemed awkward.
Wilson just laughed. “Nope. Some other guy’s brother. That’s why I’m telling you.” Wilson spoke loudly, loudly enough where the whole restaurant could hear. “I’m in love with Percival Ignatius Weasley, and I’m going to marry him. For no other reason.”
He lowered his voice to a reasonable volume. “Even though the sex really is amazing, though. And often.” Wow. He and Percy could never come back to this restaurant.
And now neither could the Twins. Thanks for that, Wilson.
"Okay, okay," George placated, because he was better at it than Fred would ever be. "We believe you. You're right nutters, but at least you're eager about it."
After the shock of it, they'd both kind of decided it wasn't all that shocking. "Bit early, though, don't you think? Didn't you meet just - what? Last week?"
“A couple of months ago. It’ll be a longish engagement, it’s not like we’re going to get married right away.” Wilson grinned to himself. “I figured I’d let him know I want to, and he can pick out when we actually do. So sometime before we die.”
“How upbeat of you both.” Fred’s tone was dry, but amused. It was no wonder Wilson and Percy got on so well.
George was sipping at his milkshake thoughtfully, and settled it down on the table again in its original pool of condensation. “Well. Congrats, in any case. He has seemed less --er-- you know. Lately.”
“Sad?” Wilson nodded. He worried about Percy; Wilson worked with enough goal oriented, type A, neurotic depressives to know one when he saw one.
“That’s one way of putting it.” The twins shared one of their twin glances before turning back to their eventual brother-in-law-slash-Wilson.
“He gets -- you know. Sometimes. Be nice about it, if you can.” George drew smiley faces on the side of his water cup as he spoke.
“And don’t tell him we said so. It breaks our brotherly code.” Admittedly, they weren’t very nice to Percy. But that was the way of the world. And it’d started out innocently enough. They’d been trying to be funny. It wasn’t their fault Percy not laughing had lead to them trying even harder.
“I know.” Wilson smiled and leaned back in his seat. “I love him. It’s not like it’ll go away because he has a hard time of it.” That was when Percy would need him most, and that was when Wilson would be there.
Their food was delivered, and the twins picked through their fries without really looking at them. “Good,” said Fred and he wouldn’t say so, but he found himself oddly relieved about it all. Percy always had been the sensitive one.
“You’ll do fine then,” George agreed, nibbling at his too-hot food. “You just wait til you meet our mum. She’ll love you. She’ll make you a jumper straight away.”
“That’s funny, my mom’s making one for Percy.” Wilson wrinkled his nose. “Watch, they’ll meet each other and start making ... I don’t know, some sort of super sweater for buildings or something. Or tea cozies.” He’d never seen the point of those. Why were people hiding their teapots?
“You need all the jumpers you can get in this climate.”
“So do the buildings.” But that went without saying, didn’t it? Of course it did.
George tilted his head to the side, curiously. “So, he didn’t wanna be here for this, huh? You realize, you’re going to have to make up a story about how awful it was.”
“I will, but then I’ll tell him the truth.” Wilson was getting good at the whole honesty thing, which was good for him. After wife number three, he’d thought for a long time that he was just bad at telling the truth.
The twins rolled their eyes at that, but didn’t put up much complaint. If Wilson wanted to be boring about it, they weren’t going to stop him. They slurped at their milkshakes a little more, and then shrugged, as if suddenly bored by it all. They could only talk about marriage and true love for so long before it got just tedious. “What else is new then?”
“You know the little boy who had a crush on Ginny? He’s responding pretty well to his new treatment.” He was being very cautiously optimistic, but it felt good as opposed to calling around for hospice care attendants to live with his parents.
“Nigel?” As much as the Twins might not have pretended to care about much, the fact that they remember the boys’ name was fairly telling.
“That’s brilliant news.” George seemed pleased about it; he didn’t have to be cautious in showing it like Wilson might have, and so he smiled between a bite of a burger.
Wilson beamed. “Oh, all he talks about is how he’s going to marry her when he gets out of the hospital. I’m just glad that over everything, he’s got his spirit.” Wilson knew that fight wasn’t just a thing that people talked about to help their loved ones along. It was real.
“Gin will be delighted to know that Perce isn’t the only one getting married in the family, then.” Fred seemed amused by this -- he recalled the boy’s look of utter adoration when Ginny had walked into that room. It’d been touching. And usually that sort of thing made him want to pretend to vomit. Really, he wasn’t the most mature of twenty-somethings.
“Oh, no, as soon as Nigel’s eighteen, she’s spoken for.” Wilson giggled to himself. “Maybe we can have one of those horrible dual weddings.”
Food arrived and Wilson tucked into his burger, humming happily. “What’s new with you guys? Same old? Percy told me you went camping.”
“We’ll have to remind her of that so she doesn’t stray any.” Fred stole a fry from Wilson’s plate just for the hell of it.
“Oh, yeah. We went camping. Was a good time. Did you know those little pop tents have a perfect sunroof on the top for aimin’ mirrors into?”
“Popcorn all weekend long. Dunno where that bloke ended up sleeping though. Hm.”
George snickered. “Ohh, and we’ve got a new employee. She’s a good sort. Bit odd, but we like her.” Wilson probably had not planned for the fact that once the twins started talking, they didn’t really stop. They had no sense of reservation like his favorite Weasley had, after all.
“That’s fantastic.” Wilson chuckled. “I’m a Jersey boy, so not really so much with the camping for me.” He nibbled a fry. “Odd how?”
“Oh, you should go. It’s fun. A good time. It’s all wilderness and -- you know. Trees.” Yeah, okay, they weren’t really campers, either. But it’d been a nice change of pace.
“Odd like--” Fred considered for a moment. “I dunno. She’s secretive, I guess.”
“We can’t stand not knowing things,” George agreed, but didn’t actually look like he cared, so much as he was saying it for Fred’s sake.
“Trees. There’s trees everywhere.” Wilson shrugged. “And everyone’s entitled to their secrets. I’m sure even you two, Kings of Oversharing, have some.”
The twins regarded Wilson with wide, innocent brown eyes. “Secrets? No.”
“We don’t even know how to spell that word.” Liars, the both of them. So long as everyone was aware.
“Mmhmm,” Wilson chuckled. “I believe you not at all.”
“That’s okay,” Fred said.
“You don’t have to.” George finished the sentence, and then finished his milkshake with an obnoxiously loud slurp.
“That’s good. Because I don’t.” Wilson stuck out his tongue with his mouth full. He was an eldest brother, he knew how this worked.
What? No. The Twins were perfect little angels, and didn’t deserve such treatment. “Hmph,” said one.
“We hope you don’t do that around Percy,” said the other. But they secretly kind of did.
“He hasn’t merited it yet,” Wilson grinned. He sipped his soda and managed a wholly innocent fluttering of his eyelashes.
“We like you,” the twins decided all at once. “You can stay.”