Éponine Thénardier is secretly a badass (alittlefall) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-05-25 18:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, !trigger warning, eponine thenardier, kaioh michiru (sailor neptune), scootaloo, tenoh haruka (sailor uranus) |
"If you’re going to touch... not there. Please"
Who: Éponine Thénardier, Scoot, Tenoh Haruka and Kaioh Michiru
What: Relationship drama of terribleness.
When: Backdated to late April/early May.
Where: That insane place where they both live.
Rating: R to be safe. TW for talk of abuse and injuries not quite healing right.
Status: Complete. :v
Despite the slight discomfort Scoot had with the wounds at this point, mostly numbed to a lot of the pain from a different painkiller that didn’t knock him out for too long, he woke up and instantly moved to pull Éponine close. He missed being able to properly hold her, and the wounds have scabbed over decently and there's enough cushion that he can actually do so. He took her close and ran fingers through her hair as she slept before moving to run hands down her person. Just gently.
He moved to just see if he could find good relaxing spots for her and what he found was not pleasant at all. All over her body were different areas where things just didn’t... feel right. Things were wrong and he didn’t know what to do or whether to say he’d felt them. This was answered quickly enough when he heard a rather displeased noise and felt her trying to get away. To which he quickly let her go and lifted his hands back. Had he stepped over a boundary?
Calling it a boundary would’ve been something quite mild. There were reasons Éponine didn’t like him touching her all that much outside of sex, reasons she’d never really gone into, but... they were still perfectly legitimate reasons. Damned good ones, in her opinion.
“If you’re going to touch... not there. Please.” If he pressed her on it, she had no idea what she’d do. It... wasn’t an easy subject.
“I’m sorry... I didn’t mean. I just wanted to know what the rest of you felt like so I know where to protect. What parts are more sensitive to touch.” And out of slight fear of rejection his voice is cracking ever so slightly. He really hadn’t meant it badly, honest. He moved to stand up and away from the bed, just to give her the space she needs, just in case.
“More sensitive parts than I’d like to admit...” Honestly, he’d felt only one of those spots, and... Éponine couldn’t help but hope that he’d not find any more. It certainly didn’t do her mental state any good. “Happens, I guess.”
Scoot just turned and grabbed his robe, running away. Well, not so much running as pained walking, because it did take muscle effort to keep his wings against his back. But he can’t face her, not after he feels like he’s done something horrible and against her will. That he’s... violated her at all. And that is the worst fear he’s ever had.
Even with whatever hell this was playing on her mental state, Éponine wasn’t going to let him get away from her. Not when it clearly wasn’t doing him any good either. She didn’t even bother with a robe, almost glad that she never slept naked, more intent on getting to him quickly than anything else.
“You can’t run from me... not because of this.” There were better reasons, if he really needed them, but she wasn’t going to go into those. “Not your fault my bones are... the way they are.”
“I shouldn’t have touched you without direct permission. I invaded your trust... I’m just as bad as him.” This was slowly going downhill in his mind. “Just... go. You don’t need me. Not if I... I just wanted to touch you. I gave in. I shouldn’t have done it.”
“I don’t mind you touching me... I really don’t.” Especially since he was usually so gentle, so loving with her. Éponine wouldn’t have wanted him to stop, even if he did find things like that... he was usually so understanding.
“Yeah... When you’re coherent and able to give consent... I invaded your trust. I’m so sorry.”
“Scoot...” Éponine bit her lip, unsure of what she could actually say. Was there anything that could stop him feeling guilty...? She doubted it, rather intensely. “I knew you’d feel... that kind of thing eventually.”
She hadn’t been planning on that being any time soon, though. She still had massive, massive issues with her body, despite his best efforts.
Scoot shook his head and was thankful his clothes were just shorts and a t-shirt before he lifted his hands up after dropping the robe and turned to hold his hair whilst walking out the door, hoping to god she didn’t follow. The guilt he felt for something so simple was enough to make his chest ache and his heart beat a bit too quickly for his liking.
Like hell was she not going to follow. She’d gotten him into this state, and she was damned well going to fix it... somehow. It probably wasn’t going to be easy, and Éponine knew that. “Look, I’ll... I’ll explain it, just... don’t. You’ll end up hurting yourself again, and... I can’t let you do that.”
“No... What if I do it again. You’re only wanting to explain because I’m like this. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I’m terrible for you. I don’t deserve you.” Pulled hard at his hair and started to breathe a bit too heavily. “I’m sorry... Please don’t leave me. You said you loved me. Please don’t leave me, you said you loved me.”
“I do love you...” And that, honestly, was in no danger of changing. He’d done her so much good, made her actually believe that men could be caring and kind... Éponine would’ve had to have gone insane to have even considered letting him go, or stopping loving him. “I’m not leaving you. I just... want you to understand my... issues. I suppose.”
It’d take a while to explain them all, but she’d damn well try.
“I do understand... I just thought...” Moved to sit on the couch and rocked front to back, trying hard not to panic too much because he feels far too much guilt. “I should have woken you I should have asked. I should have done others things. Kept my hands to myself. I’m a terrible boyfriend. Terrible man. Terrible human being. I’m-”
And much as she didn’t want to, Éponine didn’t see much other choice in the matter. She slapped him, fairly hard, trying to will herself not to immediately trigger over it - she didn’t like hitting people in the first place, but... well, now was a time where there really wasn’t any other option. “You thinking like that isn’t helping either of us.”
The look on his face after the slap was horror and he just stared up at her, unable to really react. He’d never actually been hit by anyone he cared about. Only people who’d done that to him were people wanting to beat him for his gender.
Éponine hitting him was, naturally, for a completely different reason. It was either that or he’d keep on blaming himself, keep on not listening to what she was trying to say... “I’m sorry, I just... I needed you to stop. To listen to me. I... didn’t mean to make anything bad set off, I’m sorry...”
This wasn’t doing her state of mind much good at all.
And her being like that wasn’t helping his either. He inched further back. Eyes still just wide and staring at her and he jumped when he heard door opening and shutting.
“Honestly... you two...” Michiru sighed and motioned for Haruka to deal with Scoot while she ever so gently took Éponine’s hand. Sometimes you just can’t work it out without someone else coming in. “Sweetheart. I’m going to lead you to the garden area, we can talk there. Okay. Scoot is going to be fine.”
Well, this had gone fantastically. It took a lot of effort not to flinch away when Michiru took her hand, but Éponine managed to force it - largely because she knew the other woman wasn’t the type to hurt her. “...Alright.”
Dealing with Scoot was never easy, but Haruka was at least half-way decent at it. Maybe that was down to the whole ‘little brother’ thing... “Let’s find you something awesome to do. I think I have a couple of things that might hold your interest...”
Scoot looked to Haruka, then back to his lover before nodding and following her out to do whatever she had planned. He wouldn’t be picky about it.
Michiru led her out back where there were little cakes and tea already set up. She made sure she was comfortable before sitting across from her. “So. Why don’t we change topic from what was going on. Then once calm you can re-evaluate and reflect on the situation?” Poured the tea for her before smiling. “Do you like the garden? I finally had it finished.”
It wasn’t like it’d be easy to calm Éponine down. She had her reasons for hating being touched, perfectly good ones, especially when it came to... those parts of her body. True, she couldn’t blame him for wanting to touch, but...
“I... guess it’s pretty nice?” Gardening was far more Azelma’s thing than her own, even if it technically figured into architecture. “Definitely very pretty.”
“Took me a while to find all the plants I wanted. There’s something I wanted to ask you!” Smiled and took a drink of her tea and offered a cake before going to ask something she’s certain she’s never been asked. “Would you care to be one of my bridesmaids?”
That was a question that Éponine had been certain she’d never be asked. Did she actually mean that...? “I... really? You’re not kidding, right?”
“Well, I wouldn’t have purchased a gown with your measurements and paid for it already if I were kidding.” Smirked and took a bit of a cake.
...Well then. That was... something. Éponine wasn’t going to ask just how she’d gotten her measurements... probably by plotting with Scoot, considering he’d had things custom made for her since they’d started dating. “I... guess it couldn’t hurt, then.”
“And the dress covers most of the body, and there is a shawl to cover the shoulders. And if you wish there is actually a make-up we can use to cover up scars. I do not mind if they are there because everyone tells a story and I will not be making anyone cover up scars or tattoos for the sake of a wedding. But if it will help you feel more conscious about yourself, the offer for it is there. And hey you get to see Scoot in a tux~” Michiru smirked and brought the teacup to her lips.
It had to be completely unfair to be so generous and kind. How did Michiru do it? Éponine’d never seen anything but good from her, which just... didn’t seem right. Not that she was complaining at all, of course! “All you had to say was ‘Scoot in a tux’, you know.”
What? He’d probably look really, really good in one!
Meanwhile Scoot had been taken off to... somewhere. He really hadn't been paying much attention, too focused on the stinging of his cheek from being hit. Why would she hit him... He’d never hit her, not purposefully. He didn’t notice until then that he’d managed to make himself bleed. Oops. He looked up to Haruka and sighed. “I’m a terrible man... Not even worthy of that title.”
As far as Haruka knew, Éponine likely had a perfectly good reason for hitting him. She didn’t seem the type to do anything like that without one, especially considering how badly even the mention of things like that seemed to affect her.
“I wouldn’t say that. Far as men go, you’re pretty good...” Probably an understatement, yes, but she wasn’t prone to making a big deal of things.
“She really deserves better, I swear.” Ran a hand over his neck and tried to just focus on not hurting himself, it’s the last thing his girlfriend needed to see - him having one after all of this blew over.
“I’ve always thought that about Michiru, but... women are stubborn. They also really don’t like it when you say things like that.” True, Michiru tended to be subtle with her displeasure, but Haruka was just sure that was because she was... unique.
Except for that one time, but they didn’t talk about that.
“But she does. I’m such a fuck up. And I get too clingy I swear.” Sighed and moved to a wall and began shoving his head hard against it. Yeah it would hurt, but he didn’t fucking care.
Which would be why Haruka moved to stop him. Letting him hurt himself was rather against the point of this. “She obviously doesn’t think like that. She adores you, no matter what you say...”
“You know what. Fuck this. I’m going to bed in the game room, the couch is pretty comfy. I’ll talk to her in the morning.” Grabbed a pillow and blanket and just stormed off and slammed the door.