"Do you have anything that bites on command?"
Who: Azula, Ty Lee and Fluttershy What: Azula gets a pet. And scares the crap out of Fluttershy When: A day or two ago Where: Fluttershy's Petshop Status: Complete! Rating: PG-13 for Azula making an entire petshop go silent.
Azula was laying on her back on the red couch in the living room of her condo. She was flipping through the television, trying to find something to watch. Even though she was home, she was wearing snappy business wear - she'd just gotten off a conference call with her father. Loosening the top three buttons of her shirt, she tossed the remote aside roughly and sat up. Studying her friend out of the corner of her eye, she announced, "We're going shopping."
Ty lee had been sitting lotus-style on the other couch, ignoring the TV and doing some meditating. There was never anything good on TV at this time of year, and she'd barely had any time to watch it, what with how busy her schedule was getting.
But the plus side was that her aura had never been more pink!
She slowly lifted one of her eyes open to look at Azula, "We're going shopping? What are we buying? I think we should buy you some more colorful businesswear."
"What's wrong with my business wear?" Azula stood, resting her hands on her hips, "It's sharp. Deadly. The kind of businesswear that screams OBEY ME!"
She pulled off her top and walked into her bedroom to change.
Ty Lee bounced off the couch and followed her, mainly so that she could open up Azula's wardrobe and have a look through it, "Sure, there's lots of OBEY ME in this closet, but sometimes your message works better if it says Obey Me Please or even just Please without the OBEY ME at all..."
She clucked her tongue and shook her head, "Zula it's all red and black and white, you need some purples and greens and Oooh, blues! You'd look so impressive in blues. You'd look better in blues than I do, even!"
Azula posed, examing her body in the mirror, "Please don't make me say please. In the business world the minnows that say please get devoured by the sharks." She turned and flashed a smile at Ty Lee, "I'm the shark, little minnow." She might consider blue. Maybe.
"Oh there's no doubt about that, it's just that sometimes you catch more minnows by laying a clever trap! It's just something to think about."
Ty lee shrugged a shoulder casually, and let the point drop for now. Azula was the type of person who had to stew over new ideas carefully until they became entirely her own, and Ty Lee knew better than to press it.
Boy was she getting a great view right now, though. She mentally told herself not to blush or stare too long, repeatedly, while inching towards the door, "I'll go get changed."
Pulling out her least red thing, which was her favorite pair of jeans and a white, almost see-through blouse, Azula dressed. She walked across the hall and opened Ty Lee's door, leaning on the frame, "When you have to be at practice today?"
Never mind the fact that Ty Lee was buck naked. It wasn't as if Azula knew how to knock. Ty Lee figured that doors in this condo were more of a luxury, really.
She pulled on some clean underwear to distract herself from the fact that Azula was staring at her in all her glory. It wasn't even the first time, and it wasn't that she was shy, either. The locker rooms at the gym had no semblance of privacy after all. Just... it was Azula. She really needed to talk to Jubes about this.
"I had practice already today, actually. That's where I was from 6am to 12. I put a note on the fridge about it."
Azula had either been in the business meeting or in her room through most of that time period. She liked to keep her meditation private. It was a practice she'd learned from her father - a way of centering herself before a meeting. It allowed her to deal with the complexities of the business world without her fiery core burning to the surface.
"I hadn't noticed," She said, cooly. She walked in and jabbed Ty Lee in the ribs, "You're too thin. Eat more." Then she walked out of the room to get her purse and her keys.
Ty Lee watched her go, then scrunched her face up and looked at herself in the mirror. Maybe she WAS too thin, but extra weight was always a problem. She didn't want to end up becoming one of those after school specials on eating disorders, either, but...
She poked herself in the ribs and shrugged. Azula was always right! That meant she could totally afford to eat some sweets while they were out. The thought of eating some delicious food put the smile right back on her face!
She pulled on some clothes, grabbed her bag, and headed for the door.
Usually peer pressure resolved around being too fat! Maybe Azula cared. A little. She led them out of the condo, and out to the garage. She owned a sporty little Mazda for trips that involved shopping, and disarmed it, before getting in. It had been her 16th birthday present. Poor Zuko had gotten a lame sedan.
That sedan had been the final wedge driven between Zuko and his family. He would never forgive his father for that outrage!
Azula didn't bother buckling up. She sped out of the garage and headed for the mall.
It was definitely a beautiful day to go shopping!
Ty Lee curled up in the passenger seat and buckled up, then pulled out her phone to check various social networks. Mai's twitter feed had been pretty silent lately and she was pretty worried about that.
She had bigger worries than Mai right now, though! She glanced in Azula's direction, then hastily tapped out a text message to Jubilee.
Txting happens here!
Ty Lee stared down at her phone like she could not believe what she was reading, then eyedarted.
"Mai being difficult?" Azula glanced at Ty Lee, before she put the top down. It was convertible weather!
"Oh, you know Mai!" Ty Lee eyedarted, then tapped away at her phone again.
Azula suddenly did a u-turn and pulled into a strip mall. She parked in front of a pet shop, "We're getting a pet." That was random. Azula cleared her throat.
Ty Lee eyedarted and tucked her phone away, then grinned at Azula.
"Oh, we're getting a pet! That sounds like fun."
"Yes. We need something dangerous. Something cool." Something that required minimal effort on Azula's part.
Something that Ty Lee was pretty certain she was going to end up taking care of, herself. She was kind of hoping it'd end up being cute and cuddly and not something that could potentially bite her head off.
"This shop looks like a nice place to look," Ty Lee got out of the car and stepped up to the window, which had a huge display of rabbits, currently. "That's a LOT of bunnies."
So no komodo dragons, then?
Absolutely no komodo dragons.
Azula didn't even bother trying to count all the bunnies. But bunnies weren't cool. She shrugged a shoulder, "Let's check it out."
She walked inside, looking around. It smelled like animals. Whatever was making that smell she didn't want, in the slightest. Naturally, she made a bee-line to the reptiles, but couldn't find any snake big enough to eat chihuahuas. Damn. Nothing poisonous. She declared, "Lame."
Ty Lee looked around the place a bit more, trying not to fawn over anything extremely cute too much. Since, you know, cute fluffy things were lame.
A soft spoken voice piped up from somewhere in the back of the shop, seemingly disembodied, "Oh no... I mean, they aren't lame. They're really nice snakes."
So lame.
Azula looked around for the disembodied voice, "They're so ...small."
"Well of course they're small... I mean... Uhm..." a doe-eyed blonde peeked around the side of a set of fish tanks, "The really big ones are scary and dangerous. They don't mean to be, but I can't sell them..."
Ty Lee thought she was adorable. Azula would probably think that was Lame, too.
Azula's eyebrows disappeared into her hair. She approached quietly, "Boo."
The blonde woman squeaked and disappeared back behind the fish tanks for a few minutes. That was terrifying! These customers were terrifying! But she had to, she had to sell them a pet, for the sake of the animals!
She poked her head back around the corner and forced a smile, "I have a very nice bird? It sings? I can have it sing a pretty song for you..."
Ty Lee smiled at her, "She's got a nice bird, Zula!"
"I don't want a bird!" Azula's voice made most of the pet shop go deadly silent. She started to stalk around, animals shying away from her as she passed. If she couldn't have something that ATE a mouse, maybe she should get a mouse. She peered at the mouse cage, and wrinkled her nose, "Do you have anything that bites on command?"
The obviously timid and slightly frazzled pet shop owner walked in her wake, working furiously to calm down her various animal friends. This customer was disruptive and was ruffling all of her feathers.
If she had feathers, which of course she didn't.
"N-NO, of course I don't have something that bites on command... that... that would just be wrong," Minerva frowned. She needed something cuddly to hug, so badly, "Why would you want something that bites?"
Ty Lee hopped up on the counter to watch the interchange. She felt pretty bad for the girl, but wasn't sure that speaking up against Azula would make anything better. She was currently formulating a plan... Maybe if she decided something in the shop was lame, Azula would want it more.
"What about this?" Azula pointed at some dwarf hamsters. There were two cages, one with a hamster all by his lonesome. She tapped on the cage and the hamster flailed, giving her a death glare.
This hamster had potential. She was also eyeing the rats. Rats were usually disgusting creatures, but maybe that's what she wanted. Ty Lee could clean the cage.
"Oh uhm... no, you don't want that hamster, no no," Minerva shook her head back and forth, and gently patted the top of the tank, "This hamster, it's... it's not very social, it doesn't like it when things try to love it."
She tried to direct Azula to a cage filled with baby rats, "These baby rats are nice and can be taught to do tricks! I litter trained them myself..."
"Don't they crap all over the place?" She walked away from the hamster that wants to cut you and knelt to look at the rats. She wrinkled her nose, "Litter? Like cats?"
Azula laughed, "That's hilarious!"
Minerva had looked quite proud of herself and her ability to train rats, but Azula's laughter made her face fall into the most pathetic of crestfallen looks. Even her hair seemed to droop, "Oh... I guess... hah hah, it's funny."
How did this girl even stay in business? Ty Lee thought that was the biggest mystery here.
She spotted the most adorable looking little rodent... thing... and hopped down off the counter to take a closer look. It was a chinchilla! It was adorable and kind of dorky and ADORABLE!
No, no, it was totally lame.
"Man, this pet store doesn't have a single awesome pet. Look at this little rodent thing. It's so lame. It reminds me of Zuko."
Azula almost felt bad. That small, tiny little place in her heart where emotions went to die twinged a little. She stood when Ty Lee spoke, and walked over, "Zuko? What reminds you of Zuko."
SHE MUST HAVE IT!
Hook, line, and sinker.
Ty Lee could do this all day.
"This rat... hamster.. rathamster. Thing. It's scruffy and pathetic, just like he is."
The pet shop owner glanced at the rats that had now lost Azula's attention and whispered to them that it was okay, the lady still liked them. Then she headed over to the new object of their attention and held up a finger.
"Uhm... oh excuse me, but that's a chinchilla, not a rathamster."
"It's a rathamster," Azula declared pointedly. She poked the cage and tapped on it, "I want it. We'll name it Zuko. We can have Mai play with Zuko!"
"Well, if you say so, Azula." Ty Lee nodded her head and then grinned at the Mai/Zuko reference, "That's an AWESOME idea. I love it. And you should, like... take pictures of it and send them to Zuko next time you call him up to taunt him."
Minerva was torn between being happy that her animal friend had found a home and the fact that the home was with this obviously... terrifying... woman. She was scared that the chinchilla wouldn't have anyone to love it, and glanced at Ty Lee like 'please love the chinchilla'. "Well, if you ... you're sure, then you'll need a nice cage, and a chinchilla bath, and some special food, and ... I'll just collect the things for you." She smiled and sprinted around the shop. It was a nice break from dealing with people.
"Of course I say so," Azula replied, sneering. This was just perfect. A little furry rodent named after a little furry rodent! She reached into her purse and pulled out nearly folded hundred dollar bills, "Whatever we need. All that we need. Money is no object." She paused, looking at the bird, then shook her head. No. No birds.
The bird was eagerly singing, too. It would be sad that it didn't find a home for itself again today. Poor bird. Minerva was already sad for it. She stacked up everything on the counter, "I'll just... uhm... bag this for you, and... that's a lot of money, but I don't think I'll need all of it."
She started tallying everything up on the register. Chinchillas were actually pretty expensive to breed, and the total came to a sum that Minerva found quite dizzying. "Oh... I'm so sorry, but I think I might need all of it." Ty Lee was busy making friends with the fuzzy thing behind Azula's back. It was so soft and adorable!
When Azula glanced behind her, she thought she saw Ty Lee making nice with the Chinchilla, and narrowed her eyes. Well. At least it wouldn't be neglected. Not that she cared. Ty Lee might find Azula petting the thing late at night when she thinks she's asleep She planted the money on the counter, "Keep whatever is left and get yourself something cool. Like a boa constrictor or a cobra." Because if it doesn't have a neurotoxin it's lame.
Minerva squeaked at the amount of money that was left over and the suggestion that she get something big and deadly, "Oh I... I couldn't just take the rest of your money like that, but thank you so much anyway..."
Her reaction made it worth it. Azula laughed, and the entire shop went silent again. She glared at the animals.
The animals weren't the only thing that went silent. Minerva almost ducked back behind the counter. She went ahead and got a box to pack the chinchilla up into, taking a moment to calm her nerves by giving the adorable little animal one last hug, "You're going to a new home now... it'll be okay, they'll love you, I promise."
She gave Azula and Ty Lee a quick, seemingly uncharacteristic stare, "Right?" Ty Lee grinned, "We'll love him just like we love our own little zu zu." Hey, it wasn't technically a lie. She took the box and all the bags, too, knowing that Azula would never lower herself to carry her own purchases. The shop owner's stare disappeared as quickly as it appeared, and an extremely happy expression took its place, "OKay, thank you for shopping here!"
The stare was actually somewhat impressive and Fluttershy gained 2.5 notches in Azula's book. Maybe she could break her in some day. With a frivolent shrug, she turned, gesturing for Ty Lee to follow her. Then she stopped, and a grin formed across her face. She selected a blue studded dog collar, and fastened it around Ty Lee's neck, "Perfect." She tossed a twenty on the counter and walked out.
Minerva squeaked again, because... well... who treated another person like that and why did the other person let her?
Ty Lee, on the other hand, thought it matched her shirt. Also too, she really, really needed to send another text message to Jubilee.