Welcome once again to the Weekend Edition, dear readers! There might actually be some truth in this update!
Early Saturday morning, there was a flash of light to the southeast. Your intrepid journalist witnessed it herself, and it was quite interesting. It lasted just a second, before disappearing. I thought nothing of it, until a news report was mysteriously scrubbed from the internet. In fact, every news report that I had in my feed about this event was scrubbed within half an hour!
There's a coverup, folks, and I intend to get to the bottom of it! Screw celebs, this might be REAL!
The previous appears to get scrubbed, only to come back up a few minutes later, at least once an hour.
Recent evidence has surfaced about Mai's lover, Kasumi Goto. It seems there may have been a bit of a family scandal! It wasn't just because of their love that Ms. Goto ran away, dear readers. She was pregnant. And what's more, the father of her child was killed by a supposedly drunk driver! A hit, no doubt, to eliminate him from the picture and avoid further scandal! The grief was such that Ms. Goto miscarried! A double tragedy, and all for the family name.
At a recent concert, Pinkie Pie was seen displaying her baby bump! The singer appears to be much farther along than previously noted, but the father has not yet come forward. He seems suspiciously clean and mundane, although he does have a taco fixation.
The mysterious Nighthawk seems to have drastically cut down his activity. Sources close to the police state that he may have been injured or otherwise indisposed! Hopefully it's a career ending injury.
In related news, we have video of what appears to be a three-way fight between the mysterious cat lady, another woman in an odd costume, and a man who seems to manipulate shadows! It's escalating, just like I said it would! The previous was mysteriously scrubbed ten minutes after it was posted, and the video has been removed
An exclusive, folks, with Liara T'Soni! She's known mostly for finding a rare fertility idol, as well as naughty shenanigans in her office, but sources close to her have reported that she and her lover have invited a third into their bed!
Now, it's been quite difficult to find anything about Ms. Miranda Lawson. She's one of those people that have a rather impeccable record. Our sources indicate she's involved in law enforcement, but whatever it is was above their pay grade. But as seen in the fakedvideo behind the paywall, she's had a rather interesting encounter with Liara T'Soni and Tyra Shepard.
For our free readers, we did locate this picture. Quite a catch, no?
Rei Hino's burlesque club opened to great fanfare, only to have suffered from lack of business in recent weeks. Sources close to the owner indicate a lack of effort on her behalf. Will the club close? This reporter thinks yes.
Racing superstar Haruka Tenoh is once again knee deep in scandal, dear readers! But it's not him who was caught cheating! Much to the relief of his fangirls everywhere, Michiru Kaioh, the little hussy who stole his heart, has cheated on him! And what's worse, with a woman!. Pictured here is Olympic Fencer Meetra Surik, caught in a passionate embrace with Ms. Kaioh, only hours after Haruka left their home. Shame on you, Michiru! And shame on you, Meetra Surik!
No weekend update is complete without Natasha Romanoff's latest seductions! This week, she puts the moves on local firefighter Steve Rogers. This reporter can't really blame her this time. Pictured here is his pose from a firefighter charity calendar.
I'll just let that speak for itself. Unf.
It seems that Mai and Kasumi have an open relationship. Kasumi has been seen with Urdnot Ranch owner Wrex on numerous occasions and all accounts point towards a very heated relationship. Mai, meanwhile, has hit up Emma Frost's favorite boy toy, as pictured here at a local bar playing pool.
Mai has also been linked to Ginny Weasley's man, and this reporter has cause to believe that the three of them have had more than one erotic encounter together!
Some reports indicate that Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen have had a falling out! Say it isn't so!
Well folks, it isn't so! I can assure you I personally investigated this terrible rumor, and the two lovebirds are still very much in love!
Are wedding bells in their future?
Rumors have it that something big is in store! Additionally, underground sources have indicated a great deal of cocaine might be available at the party. Perhaps that might explain Mr. Stark's erratic behavior of late, or perhaps he's planning on making this party very wild. Either way, it will probably end in tears.
Local bartender and waitress Sarah Connor has been linked to moon man playboy James Kirk! We have oldpictures of them together at a sushi restaurant, and they were seen leaving together. Another conquest under his belt, or something far more serious? Time will tell!
The mysterious woman that Alleria Windrunner has been linked to recently surfaced in a market in San Francisco. We attempted to get her statement but she rudely shoved our reporter and made a run for it! We followed her, only to lose her trail near the wharf. What it means, we don't know. Is Ms. Windrunner involved in something illegal?
Frodo Baggins, a local wealthy man was due to wed his underage lover at a ceremony today, but for reasons of 'illness' the wedding has been postponed. It's believed that Mr. Baggins has another lover, and this discovery has caused a falling out. Research leads us to a woman who has links to both Mr. Baggins and Jim Kirk, and had disappeared several months ago. Is she a homewrecker, or is she saving Merrill from Mr. Baggins' perversions?
We stumbled across this little gem while researching the Barbara Gordon story, and have been holding onto it for a little while. It involves a local bartender named Faith and the brutal manslaughter of an innocent man. She went to jail, along with her boyfriend and his friends, but got a reduced sentence for selling them out!
A little birdy has told me that this boyfriend is due for parole soon, and he’s very, very angry. We hope Faith stays safe!