Well, I don't know what to tell you. I'm having a difficult time even forming coherent sentences, I'm in no position to find words for you.
If you're not an actor or otherwise able to rescue me from last night's poor decisions, don't worry about it. I'll just have to do my own job. (Woe, poor Loki, etc. etc.) I was trying to text my colleague, anyway; you just happened to be on the distribution list from last week's mishap.